just a daydream

25 | just a lost soul trying to make it big in the world | welcome to my safe space.

[gazingatthegalaxy]

I wanted to...

I wanted to write. I wanted to pour out the words I have in my heart as if they were my blood and their only way out was the wounds I have deep in my heart, the ones I thought were healed, and the ones I thought were invisible scars.

I wanted to talk about so many things. I wanted to tell the world how much I am dying and how life is so draining, even though I am trying. Yet no words come out...

No words were brave enough to escape. Not on my mind, not on my mouth, and not even on my heart. They were all hiding as if their only safe place was inside me.

In reality, they fear being hidden because they know they consume me, yet they also fear being out because not everyone will understand the language they try hard to speak.

Now, I sit in the corner... silent...

My eyes — full of emotions, my mind — circling around.

A pen and paper are in front of me.

A notepad is open on my PC — both empty.

[vexheart]

[terrorignitis]

Juansen Dizon, i am the architect of my own destruction

[m00wd]

A person raised in love and another raised in survival, will never see the world the same way.

—M00wd

[gazingatthegalaxy]

convenience.

something i used to deny to myself —

that he could have just seen me as someone convenient.

but now, i realize, it was in every denial.

it was in every moment, in fact, it was there every time

when i told myself he was consistent,

or when i defended that he knows my worth.

it was there every time he chased someone,

and came back to me after.

and at first, i fooled myself to think

that i was still the best option,

the candidate no one could top or get rid of.

but i was just convenient.

i was a validation.

and then flashbacks of his words came rushing back to me —

“i don’t want to deal with her, if you can do *this* for me and she couldn’t, why would i chase her?”

“you replied to me so fast every time, if she can’t beat you, she’s no good”

“If you can, why can’t they?”

“they would have to surpass you if they want to be with me”

— and there i was; smiling, when i thought he knew

what he would miss on,

when i thought that somehow, he realized

no matter where he looked,

something about me is irreplaceable and unmatchable.

i was just convenient — an ego booster, a familiar place, a sense of comfort.

a lingering thought that someone would accept him no matter what he does, —

because i was kind and understanding and i knew him better than anyone.

or so i thought…

i was a convenient option — the one he would stop talking to for days,

then come back to, like he didn’t disappear out of thin air.

he kept chasing because he thought he could find someone better —

he keeps coming back because he couldn’t

and that’s not romantic,

it’s superficial.

it’s surface.

and if he didn’t choose me when he had me,

why would i choose him when he finally comes back?

— a late post lost in my drafts somewhere between november and january 😆

[gazingatthegalaxy]

I hate it when —

when I realize life goes on even when I am not living it.

I hated the fact that people are better off without me,

that they are happier in my absence

and no one mourns my loss,

or wondered where I’ve been.

when no one dared to know me deep enough

to realize that I disappeared

because I want to be found.

when no one dared to sit in silence

in hopes I would turn out from nowhere.

when no one climbed my walls

and tried to break through my hard shells

so they would find the softness hidden within.

i hate how life turned out this way —

not what i hoped or prayed for,

not what i imagined it would be,

and not even close to a happy ending.

[whendidmythoughtsgocrazy]

And if I'm meant to be alone, please take away my desire to be loved.

k.b. // unknown

[gazingatthegalaxy]

i asked for you in every 11:11 prayed for you in every church and sundays, wished for you in every temple. i longed for you to see me the way i see you, you made me believe in something i dreaded for a while — love.

[gazingatthegalaxy]

my star in the sky

it's been a year since the last time i saw you... the last time i heard your laugh, the last time i saw you smile, the last time i heard your voice, the last time i was able to say goodbye.

it's been a year and somehow, it still feels hard, heavy, and surreal.

life would be better with you around, and believe me, i wished for you to be here every second of every day.

[stay-close]

“Be careful who you make memories with. Those things can last a lifetime.”

— Ugo Eze

[gazingatthegalaxy]

..

I would lie if I said I didn’t miss you. 

The truth is - every morning I wake up I check my phone hoping your name would pop out. Every minute that goes by its you who ran through my mind. Every night there’s nothing more worst than not having you by my side. 

I miss you, in everything I do and every second that passes through. 

I crave so much to hear a hi from you, to see a glimpse of your day, or to know how well you do. 

As my days of silence go by, the noise that fills my mind are thoughts of you and me going through course of life, scenarios I wish would come true in hopes of me and you. 

I miss you. There’s no second that I don’t and it’s true.

[gazingatthegalaxy]

for you.

you were every 11:11, every good morning, and every good night prayer. you're the wish upon a star, the one i beg God to work out in my life. i kept looking at you near and from afar, wishing you see how my eyes shine when i talk about you and i.

[aboodfmly]

Rebuilding What Was Erased – A Message from Abedmajed in Gaza

My name is Abedmajed, and I live in Gaza with what remains of my once large and loving family.

In a single missile strike, we lost over 25 members of our family. They were not just names. They were mothers, daughters, sons, grandparents — people we shared meals with, laughed with, and built dreams with.

The missile hit our family home — the heart of everything we knew.

Among those killed were: 🕊️ My mother 🕊️ My sister 🕊️ My older brother His wife and their three daughters 🕊️ My uncle, his wife, and all their sons and grandchildren

We were left with nothing but rubble and grief. Yet somehow, my brother and I survived. And now, we carry the responsibility of rebuilding what was taken — not just for ourselves, but for our father, our surviving siblings, and the memory of those we lost.

💔 Why We’re Fundraising

This campaign is not just about survival. It’s about rebuilding a future — A family home, a shared life, a place where our father can rest safely, Where the next generation of our family can grow up knowing peace instead of trauma.

💬 The funds raised will help us:

🏗️ Rebuild our family home — which was completely destroyed 🛠️ Provide basic support for our father and siblings 🏡 Create safe, livable conditions for a family shattered by loss

🔒 How the Funds Are Managed

Due to the collapse of Gaza’s financial system, all donations are processed through my brother, who has a U.S. registered Stripe account. Funds are securely transferred to Gaza and distributed in cash here on the ground. We are transparent and ready to provide proof of every step.

🌱 Why Your Support Matters

We are not asking for charity. We’re asking for a chance to stand again, To rebuild something we can pass on to the children who survived.

Vetted By @gazavetters No:537

Abedmajed’s Hope: Rebuilding Our Family’s Life in Gaza

My name is Abedmajed Elderawi, and I live in Gaza with what remains of my once large and loving family.

Your support gives us the strength not just to remember the ones we lost — but to honor them by continuing.

💬 If you can’t donate, a reblog means the world. 🕊️ From Gaza, with hope and dignity — thank you.

[gazingatthegalaxy]

i gave up on my dreams once or twice

to be able to keep someone in my life

and that didn’t end well like what i’ve originally planned…

now i’m back in a situation where i have to choose,

between my dreams or the one i love,

and this time i’m sure i’d choose to chase what i’ve lost once —

myself, my dreams, and the future i want

yet a thought lingers my mind…

what if this time,

again,

i choose the wrong one?

xx, l.d.

[gazingatthegalaxy]

..

to be finally loved,

heard,

and understood.

it’s such a surreal feeling,

and i hope this time i’m making the right choice.

[gazingatthegalaxy]

hey tumbleweed..

the skies are brighter,

my smiles are wider,

and there are more days that i am okay

than days where i tumble upon my past.

i no longer dwell on things

i no longer have control.

it’s an amazing day,

some days are gloomy than others

but it’s okay.

it’s all okay.

[gazingatthegalaxy]

i’ve been told i was enough hundreds of times

only to feel like i am always asking for too much.

i have cared, and loved so pure,

only to be set aside.

so i apologize

for not being like the rest.

for letting my walls down

and believing i am capable of receiving

the love i also share.

i apologize for being true, and me,

and for not being enough or worthy.

at the end of the day,

kindest souls have deepest scars,

no one is brave enough to patch them up.