Immediately the first thing he noticed was the scent of alcohol, it had practically slapped him across the face when he entered the room. This wasn’t uncommon, in fact, it had become the new normal. At first it had been hidden from him, and he had his suspicions when it began; but at this point Infernum hadn’t even tried to hide it, and any suspicion had since come to cease as the truth was presented.
“Maybe I stay in there because my lab doesn’t smell like the alcohol isle in a cheap drugstore,” He hissed back, matching the other’s venom with his own poison coated words.
Despite his aggression, his deepest emotion was that of concern. It had only been covered in anger, being held hostage as the red hot feeling came to fruition over all others. It wasn’t that his lab and work were more important, he just had a bad habit of getting wrapped up in it. It was a book he couldn’t put down, each chapter capturing him more and more into a deeper state of trance. It was only when he reached the end or pure exhaustion that he put it down.
“How much of that have you had?” He popped the question, hoping that there wasn’t a graveyard of bottles under the bed or otherwise hidden from view. He could only guess how much the other had indulged in.
Once the other had embraced him any sliver of restraint that Dex had left slipped away, he allowed himself to emotionally collapse in the arms of his husband. Shaking as feelings that had been repressed for more years than he could remember started to bleed out, spilling from his chest and into his lap where he could not longer deny them. There was sadness, but there was also joy. Mourning and rejoice. Fear and eagerness. Most of all, there was simply relief. It felt as if he could finally breathe after having to hold his breath for so long.
When Infernum said those three words Dex had felt another wave of emotion hit him, this one different- more specific. It was made of the feelings and thoughts that encompassed the two of them. There was a yearning, all those nights he had spent in his lab turned to regret and want. He wanted to go back and yell at himself, those days had been numbered and he felt as if he had wasted so much time not being with Infernum when he could have been.
He wanted to speak, though when he opened his mouth to all that came out was an unsteady breath as he sobbed. His arms wrapped around the other and held him tight, grasping the demon harder than he perhaps ever had in the past, finding a strength within the emotions that would leave bruises on another human; though he was sure that Infernum would be fine.
The moment lasted for quite some time. Eventually, however, it did die down. The trembling started to wean and he gained control of his own voice again, though he did not let go of Infernum, still holding him tightly as if afraid to let go.
“I’ve been such a fool,” He spoke in a near whisper, struggling to cough up words as the adrenaline still had a hold on him for just a few more moments, “You should have been my first priority, always.”
That sentence was a heavy one to speak as the man admitted to his faults. He hadn’t realized the consequences of his actions until it was far, far too late. Between the science and the work he did for Widow he had hardly any time to spend with his beloved. Time he would have had if he had just gotten out of his own head for five seconds. Sure, in some ways he was a fly caught in her web. But there were still things he could have done, steps he could have taken. If anything, he could have brought them to this conclusion sooner.
Regaining himself now, steadier breaths and a lack of trembling, he lessened the severity of his grasp on the other and instead held him gently.
A distant nostalgia settled into his mind, swirling images of their last adventure together blowing in with it. That was so, so long ago- long before Widow dug her claws into their relationship in her attempt to seize control over it. For a while, a long while, it really seemed like she succeeded. Time after time Infernum held himself alone in their bedroom with waterfalls spilling from his eyes, trying and failing to muster up the strength to turn away from what he felt was vain love. Something always held him back. Desperation perhaps, or maybe even the faint glimmer of hope that one day they would be able to hold each other without the bitterness of an unknown future.
There were days where they would spit malice and belch fire at each other. These memories were bile; they left an acrid taste in the mouth. There was so much work to be done to mend the torn up thread that tied their hearts together, but at least now they actually had a chance at making things right. It could not be fixed, no, it could never be fixed… These wounds would leave scars. At least none had been fatal.
Emotions wound up in a tight knot made his chest ache. How he would miss his kingdom and status, but this was all for the best. Stress had finally start to bear down upon him with the wrath of an angry god, and Infernum had finally begun to enter a state of mind that rendered him unfit to rule any longer. It was a hard bite for him to swallow after centuries of glorious reign and immeasurable power at his disposal. Their new life would certainly take some adjusting, to say the very least.
Infernum felt as if he were walking in a strange dream. Everything had been somewhat of a blur ever since the idea of running away had been pitched to him. At first he had been reluctant, fearing the potential disaster that may arise with his absence in the kingdom. After spending some time gnawing on his thoughts, though, he realized that it was the only hope they had left in saving the bond they’d clutched onto so desperately over the years.
Silence hung between them like a weight until one finally spoke. Infernum briefly glanced in the other’s direction before trailing his gaze to the water, a heavy sigh leaving his lungs.
“As am I,” he murmured softly, mind churning. “I… was afraid that this day would never come.” A large hand rested over the other’s shoulder, thumb gently massaging it in a small circle. “There is much work-…” No, no not work. “-Mending to be done, my sunflower. I believe we can find peace again, but it pains me to say that I do not think that things will ever be the way they used to. Regardless, I am willing to try.”
Warmth spread through him when he felt the other lightly rest his hand on his shoulder and gently move his thumb in a circle. He had wanted to offer a small smile, the one he used to give when Infernum touched him in such a way. Soft and kind, with bright eyes that held love and hope as opposed to the empty gaze that had come to be.
Dex knew that there was a very, very slim chance that things would go back to how they used to be. He knew that the past could only be revisited in memory and couldn’t be brought to the future in the same way it had been before. Even if they tried everything they could to make it feel the same it would always hold a different air to it. Oh how he mourned the first moments they had together.
He could remember the fateful day he came across the demon. He had been much younger then, they both had, and it showed on their faces and in their eyes. Infernum had happened across a bear trap and had his foot stuck in it, struggling to get free himself as the trap was more than what they used back in the day, it required a touch of intelligence as opposed to strength. Dex was able to figure it out with ease and free the other. Thus setting in motion a series of events he never expected to happen: falling in love. Not just with the king, but with his kingdom. The demons, the land, everything. It had been the best years of his life, his best experiences and his best work as a scientist spurred from them.
He mourned those days silently, unsure of how things had become so twisted and vile between them. Time was a secret that he had been given a glimpse into, though it could not provide him what he was looking for. Even if he were able to do as he wanted it wouldn’t be the same. Nothing would be the same. He needed to now look to a brighter future, one that may not share the flavour of the past but still was sweet to taste.
A part of him felt that this was entirely his fault and guilt flooded his chest, weighing him down so heavily he felt as if he was struggling to breathe as he drew slow breaths. It was his fault that he let things go this far, it was his fault that his work held him closer than Infernum did, it was his fault that he brought this poison to the kingdom. He had gotten carried away. He didn’t realize that he had fallen for the demon until he had already been in too deep, and then he had just decided to keep following that path rather than turn back. There were no regrets to be had though, as he wouldn’t trade the love and the experiences for anything. He wouldn’t protest death if Widow managed to take him now.
“I’m sorry,” Was what came next, drenched in heavy emotions and a voice that threatened to break. There was so, so much he wanted to apologize for that he didn’t even know where to begin. The memories were flooding his mind, going back in time starting from when they left the kingdom all the way to the moment that his eyes had first met Infernum’s.
He remembered all the silly little experiments he had the demon help with. He remembered the mechanical wings he made for him and he remembered the wild scientific rants he would go on. He even recalled the smallest of details that had evaded him as the present came to pass. It was all so overwhelming and it made him feel as if he were going to be sick or cry or scream. Most of all it made him feel like he was going to break, trembling in his wheelchair as he fought back against it. It was no use however, as the tears had already began to fall.
Oh how the mighty have fallen. It had been years, so many years since they had first met; and things had changed so much since then. The innocence has long since been lost. Their relationship had been on the verge of falling apart, time and stress had worn them both down to where they were bare and exposed in the most fragile of ways. Their souls were drifting apart. Holding on so desperately but slipping away from the touch.
Dex wouldn’t allow it. He didn’t want to let this go, the one thing that he had for himself that she couldn’t touch. Sure, she thought she had control- and she did, in a way. But only over him, not Infernum. She controlled their relationship by controlling him, knowing that he knew better than to disobey her order with this relationship being held over his head. She probably thought she had him wrapped around her finger, but he had been wrapped tighter around Infernum’s.
He was nervous to bring it up, but both of them knew that something was going to happen, something needed to change. What they had now had become stale, an unspoken silence fell between them and the nights they spent together were not filled with the same shower of sparks as they were when it all began.
They had left just the other day, saying goodbye to the kingdom both had come to love. It had taken some time to prepare everything for their departure, but it was finally time. Infernum had relinquished his throne to a trusted confidant; and Dex had made sure his little science ducklings had been capable to take over his work. The final thing that he did was remove the chip that had been planted behind his ear, placing it on a ship that was to be sent far, far away. Giving them enough time to make their escape.
Running was all they would know from this point forward, fleeing from the woman who would be filled with unmeasured wrath at finding out her favourite little pawn had abandoned her and their family. He would be replaced in due time, yet he knew that she would never find someone who would be able to do all he did. In the least he could hope that she never found someone to replicate his work with life extension. He had been sure to destroy all the research and notes he had on the subject as to not give her the chance to extend her reign any further. If they were lucky then she would age and die before catching them.
Right now they were resting, finding a nice clearing with a pond and surrounding trees as they wandered from the kingdom. The weather was nice and permitted warmth. Everything seemed strange, peaceful, but also gloomy in a sense. There was so much muddy water to wade through when it came to their relationship, and Dex had never cared for getting muddy. He wasn’t sure how to do this, how to begin. He was an intelligent man, but sincerity had been lost on him over the many years of facades and lies.
“I... I’m happy we’re doing this,” He started with a small sentence, his gaze avoiding the other as he stopped his wheels. Staring instead to the pond that glistened with clear water, almost feeling as if he would start to shed tears, “I really want to go back to how we were before.”
Before. Before Widow had intervened, before time hardened their hearts, before Infe knew about who he really was. It had been such a lovely fantasy. He had simply been a person, not a killer or criminal, but a person who was seen as sweet and pure. Nobody ever suspected him, such a charming and kind man on the outside, though that individual had been broken long ago and replaced with a soldier trained to follow orders. He wondered if this was how he would always be, just a shadow of his former self. Or if there was hope that he could go back, find the child that was lost deep inside his heart and reignite the flames that had been doused by that wretched woman.
