I'm sorry, but Canadian travelers are seriously the cringiest fucks on this planet of earth.
I tried to ignore this fact in Istanbul, when I overheard a Canadian woman telling the shop keeper "oh no, I don't need to see belly dancers, I can just look in the mirror!" and then laughing uncontrollably for like 5 minutes afterwards, like she was the funniest fuck ever. I felt embarrassed that we were of the same nationality, let alone species.
Since then, it's only been minor grievances chipping away at my Canadian pride, like, watching a guy in a Toronto Blue Jays toque ask for Budweiser, in Bratislava, the land of beer far better than and fucking Budweiser, Or, the UBC sweater girl that commented to the tour guide that "they should try to make the tour more eco friendly by walking on the sidewalk instead of on the grass and across a park". Or, the idiots decked out in Lululemon that seriously just paid like, $6 for a fucking bottle of water, which in this country, is enough to feed you for 2 days. Or, the fucking group of self entitled 18 year old girls waiting in line outside a bar, complaining that they didn't want to wait in line with a bunch of Americans, EXCUSE ME? YOU ARE IN THE SAME FUCKING LINE AND ARE NO FUCKING BETTER YOU SCANTILY CLAD TWATS.
But, the cherry on top of all of this shit pile of idiots, JUST so happened to 2 stinky hippies from Victoria that just moved into my hostel. They smell like a fucking hindu's ass crack, as they are far too enlightened to wear deodorant. They are travelling around Europe for a few weeks and are pissing and moaning because they bought raw chicken and have no place to cook it. ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING?! You are in the land of food... there is cooked fucking chicken on every corner of this city, and you want to pay TWICE as much on raw chicken you can't eat, rather than just buy, probably the best chicken you'll ever get in your dismal existence. So I have to sit here, smell them, listen to them try and decipher with the last two brain cells in their weed addled brains what to do with the chicken. Between that, and them asking me if I like peanut butter, and them telling me they dip doritos in peanut butter, I couldn't take it anymore and had to get out of there!
So I wandered around for a few hours, and came back, thinking they might have some super important business to attend to and (as I write this, they are commenting on how "these are the softest radishes I've ever eaten". WTF?!!) they were of course not, because of right, they have nothing fucking better to do than point out the obvious. Anyways, I walked in the door, and spied some plates on the floor with some bits of chicken leftover and I asked "oh, how did you cook the chicken?" to which, in all their infinite wisdom they responded "we just poured beer on it and put it in the microwave for 7 minutes".
Them- "Yeah, that's just what you learn travelling"
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