☾ Messed girl @geral-isnotenough - Tumblr Blog

Fucking hate my mind right now. Seriously this makes me want to scream. I swear to anything holy I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN! and yet over and over and over my brain says I am lying. I am in denial. I want to pull my brain out of my skull and die. I can’t live with this anymore. Six fucking months. Basically non stop. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY WOMEN ARE HOT BUT I WANT TO MARRY/HAVE SEX WITH A MAN? Seriously. I am not lying. I am not lying. I am not in denial. Please shut up. Please shut up. I don’t want to be a lesbian. I have nothing against it but I am not one. My lack of relationships and connections with with men is due to late sexual blooming, anxiety and depression. My sudden obsession with “sexy"women is because I am jealous of their apparent ability to be comfortable as sexual beings. I don’t believe any man would love or even look at me ( it’s never happened before) so I have given up hope. My brain is lying to me. I know it is. But God I believe it. I fully believe I will be stuck in this hell forever or be forced to accept something I don’t want. And I can’t have that. So kill me now

exactly24bees

If you’re distressed by it, it’s an intrusive thought. If you’re disgusted by it, it was a groinal response. Your intrusive thoughts are not you, even if your brain tries to convince you that they are. You are safe. You are ok.

squidult

Opposite of ocd spiraling when you realize the horrible fear you had is not only not at all true, but reveals a reflection of the most loving, tender, and caring parts of you. That you’re a person that wants to do good, to do right, so incredibly bad that it hurts. You know the potential for evil and it makes you so badly want to do good, which is also charged with incredible potential. You are so full of kindness. You are full of friendship. You are full of splendid. I love you.

sifshoney-notactive-deactivated

the fact that some of you hate people with ocd is so evident, also if your ocd type is "stereotypical."

ocd sometimes causes distressing and violent thoughts that do not reflect the person's real thoughts, quite the opposite; they are the person's biggest fears.

but i guess ocd is fine if you can just see it as a personality quirk, and not a real mental illness that causes pain and distress for the people affexted with it.

OCD is not your fucking playground.

if you can't have empathy for people who are suffering then fuck off.

my-hocd-story

constantly wanting to go back to how i felt before all of this happened.

sometimes it feels more than real.

sometimes i’m okay.

but then again i’m never fully okay like i used to be.

they give me thoughts from my past that never even happened. i never liked that girl in a relationship-type way. why am i saying i did, i know i didn’t.

that’s what hocd does.

it gives you thoughts and feelings you never had, and you lose your attraction.

every time you see someone of the same sex, you wonder if you find them attractive in THAT way.

“checking” doesn’t work. you’re going to get a groinal response because you're focused on it.

relief is always good, but it only lasts for a little bit.

then i go straight back to panicking. and getting upset.

but listen.

remember back when you were your normal self? you weren’t always going, “yeah. i’m straight”

gays don’t do that either. they don’t constantly go, “i’m gay, hello.”

it’s your head. your brain. your everything.

but you’re going to get through it.

it just takes so much time/pain/tears/work/etc.

it’s gonna be okay.

kirkdeveyck

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier - 2nd Official Trailer

lousolversons

You just do it, you don’t say it out loud, honey. WandaVision, S1E02

brain-boggled

If you dont have OCD or dont know anything about it, don't give advice to OCD suffers.

If you are gay, do not say to someone that's suffering from HOCD that they're just in denial.

If you are trans, do not say to someone that's suffering from TOCD that they're just suppressing their "true self".

Don't place additional doubt in an OCD sufferer's mind

ocdiscourse

Hi, my name is Geraldine. I can't believe I returned to Tumblr, who does in 2020, right? I don't even know how to redact as well as I knew before, but here I am. I suppose I should be writing this down elsewhere, maybe a notebook or just think about it. That's when it gets wrong. I want people to listen and just let everything in my mind out for my thoughts are hurting me. I looked back at my posts and I fell in love with the person I was before: self-conscious, pessimistic but with hopes after all, I could even tell I was a dream-oriented girl. Now I'm 23, life has changed. Not just me but life overall: there is this pandemic out there we don't know if we can survive. And here I am trying to be a better person cause I've changed in one aspect that drove my entire self before. I am now cold about love.

prinsomnia

walking in pink 🌸

Stairway to the healthy-hearts heaven

His name is Cristian. But for me his name was Cristian, and it means not much at this point like it used to. Two weeks ago I would’ve complained about said person, but now I feel like I’m starting to heal the wounds in my heart. I know, it isn’t even worth mentioning who did what and what that what did to me and didn’t do to him. The key point here is: I now comprehend things. It’s not worth either wait for the love you deserve from that person, it’s not worth thinking that everything you did was and is wrong. What damage can cause pure love? Let me tell you that it DOES a lot of damage to a person who does NOT deserve it. Pure love scares away, makes ego fly up in the sky, and introduces cynism and a cool heart and mind. Short story: it turns people into what they are underneath all that surface of sweetness, of compassion, humanism even. Are we going to turn bitter over all those situations? NO. WE ARE GOING TO LEARN AND BECOME STRONGER. that’s what we should do, for we can’t become what hurt us, at least that is not the answer if we don’t want to. I’m not going to lie, however. I have my ups and downs. I have those moments in which I tell myself how happy I would have been if he didn’t go away, if I hadn’t said such thing, if I had been more patient... bla, bla, bla.But now I want this post to remain here and remind me that a person who is interested/mature enough/ in love with you does not lie about his feelings even if they hurt you... doesn’t create an illusion for you just to break it and have fun. I want to be reminded how I can’t settle for less than just true love.

#diary entry #love #self love #letter #thoughts #broken #we all got through this #aid

aquariusgod

Reblog this within 30 seconds in order to receive luck in your efforts for romance, assistance in your relationships, and/or to help easy conflict in your current relationship. Likes charge.