Fucking hate my mind right now. Seriously this makes me want to scream. I swear to anything holy I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN! and yet over and over and over my brain says I am lying. I am in denial. I want to pull my brain out of my skull and die. I canāt live with this anymore. Six fucking months. Basically non stop. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY WOMEN ARE HOT BUT I WANT TO MARRY/HAVE SEX WITH A MAN? Seriously. I am not lying. I am not lying. I am not in denial. Please shut up. Please shut up. I donāt want to be a lesbian. I have nothing against it but I am not one. My lack of relationships and connections with with men is due to late sexual blooming, anxiety and depression. My sudden obsession with āsexy"women is because I am jealous of their apparent ability to be comfortable as sexual beings. I donāt believe any man would love or even look at me ( itās never happened before) so I have given up hope. My brain is lying to me. I know it is. But God I believe it. I fully believe I will be stuck in this hell forever or be forced to accept something I donāt want. And I canāt have that. So kill me now




















