no.1 Jurgen Leitner hater

[gerry-keay-offical]

no.1 Jurgen Leitner HATER I despise that bastard old man

hello!! I’m gerard keay but I’d prefer if you called me gerry-

I REALLY hate jurgen Leitner. 

I’d beat him up without hesitation if I ever met him.

I beat up an old man I was convinced was him once, but I now believe it was just some frail old guy. Didn’t kill him.

I greatly enjoy burning the items of his collection.

pronouns: he/any

asks are always open :]

ooc- 

the person running this account is an idiot who barely knows how to talk to people and has very little experience with this so apologies if im like a bit awkward :/

also ive finished archives but have only just started protocol for your information 

headcanons headcanons headcanons I have a lot of them

don’t know how often I’ll be posting because yknow but we shall see

not sure if I have to say this but im not affiliated with the magnus archives or anything-

[michael-the-distortion-official]

wish i could have eight eyes without someone calling me a spider. NO im not a spider, im a distortion and i want to be able to have eight eyes. is that too much to ask for?

[gerry-keay-offical]

Get them tattooed on your joints ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[gerry-keay-offical]

I bet vampires could sell mirrors really well because when they take a picture to sell it like on Facebook marketplace or something it wouldn’t have them in the picture reflected awkwardly in the mirror yknow what I mean ??

[geeses]

reblog to diminish the horrors from the person you reblogged from

[gerry-keay-offical]

Do NOT keep your water and your vodka in the same kind of bottle I just made the worlds worst lukewarm cup of tea it was eugghhh

My pipes are being fixed atm so before the pipe people came in I poured a bunch of water into bottles, but unfortunately I own a lot of nondescript glass bottles and I HAVE A COLD so everything smells the SAME it was very disgusting don’t do that

[gerry-keay-offical]

OOC: oop I accidently had asks turned off uh I’ve turned them back on now :]

[gerry-keay-offical]

Reeallly short guy came knocking on my door last week begging for ex altiora back no you can’t have your fucking big rollercoaster travelsickness book back piss off it’s gone

[gerry-keay-offical]

It’s all well and good doing research but you’re got to understand sometimes the research is doing you yknow got to be careful

[gerry-keay-offical]

I never got that painting back-

[gerry-keay-offical]

Had a very odd dream last night that somebody replaced the front door of my flat with this ugly retina burning highlighter yellow one. Then I woke up and couldn’t find my bloody coat anywhere. I dearly hope those two things aren’t related @michael-the-distortion-official

[michael-the-distortion-official]

HEY THAT DOOR WAS GREAT

[gerry-keay-offical]

My poor coat :/

[gerry-keay-offical]

Had a very odd dream last night that somebody replaced the front door of my flat with this ugly retina burning highlighter yellow one. Then I woke up and couldn’t find my bloody coat anywhere. I dearly hope those two things aren’t related @michael-the-distortion-official

[gerry-keay-offical]

People are always asking me “Gerry why do you have so many eye tattoos???” And never “Gerry how are your many eye tattoos???” They’re LOVELY by the way 

[gerry-keay-offical]

Right so I was just minding my own business walking along the pavement with a road on one side and a big hedge on the other 

And then some random ass guy with long curly hair comes BARRELLING PAST ME

And I got sort of shoved to the side, but then my hair got CAUGHT IN the BRAMBLE HEDGE it was quite bad I missed my train

[gerry-keay-offical]

I hate it when you’re trying to shove some boots on when you’re late for something and then your foot just WILL NOT go into the boot and you have to run out the door with only half on boots