Summary: Yes he do the cooking and yes he do the cleaning. 50s AU
Pairing: 50s househusband!Timothรฉe Chalamet x black!reader
A/n: I had fun playing with role reversal, gender dynamics and expectations, and just thinking of Timmy being a blushing bride. Originally inspired by Dove Cameronโs Breakfast music video and a convo with @get-your-fics. Also tagging @lsyd25 hope next week goes better hun! Fluff mostly, shy of 1k. Minors, ageless and blank blogs dni
Timmy fiddled with the buttons at his cuff, the iron puffing steam like a dragon. He had less than an hour to tie up all the loose ends of the day before you got home.ย
The house smelled like the fruits of his labor; a roast loaded with carrots and potatoes just pulled out of the oven, a pound cake placed in it directly after, lemon from all the surfaces he had scrubbed clean. Tim had had a very productive day and couldnโt wait to tell you about it. As well as the usual tasks of cooking and cleaning, heโd ticked a few things off the Honey Do list. The kitchen table didnโt wobble anymore and the gutters were all taken care of. Heโd even mended the hole in your favorite sweater that you liked to wear to work.
Outfit completed, Timmy unplugged the iron and took a look over himself in the mirror. Thirty minutes left by now, he should take the pin curls down. One by one, he released the perfectly flouncy spirals. He fluffed them all just a bit, to give it the effortlessly tousled look you loved even though the process was anything but effortless. He smiled at his reflection, dabbing on just a bit of the cologne you bought him for his birthday before leaving the bedroom.
Timothรฉe had made quite the catch with you. A teacher, his parents had been impressed when he first brought you home for an introduction.ย
You were a boss all day, commanding your classroom, shaping young minds, nurturing them. It only made sense that most of the time, you came home and commanded it too. And Timothรฉe was more than fine with that. You worked so hard all day and kept a roof over your heads. Afforded him such a nice cushy life. Of course heโd want to provide every little comfort for you when you got home. Catering to you was the least he could do.
Right on time, Timothรฉe had just finished icing the cake when he heard you pulling up in the driveway. He licked the glaze off his finger, smoothing out his button down on the way to the door. He arrived in the foyer just as you opened the front door. Warmth flooded his chest. Would he ever get used to how pretty you were? Almost a year of marriage and he didn't think it possible.
โWelcome home, my love,โ he greeted you as he helped you out of your jacket.
โThank you,โ you said, breathing deep. โSmells good in here.โ
A pleased smile played on his lips as he followed you into the dining room. โIโm glad it does. Are you ready for dinner or would you like to unwind first? I could mix you a drink or pour you a glass of wine.โ
You sighed as you rerouted to the living room. โYou know what, babe? A mojito would be really fucking nice.โ
โOf course, Y/n! Put your feet up for a bit.โ Timothรฉe made his way to the bar cart and started the prep and assembly of the drink.ย
โThese flowers are pretty.โ
Wings fluttered in his chest. You noticed. โThey're from the garden! I thought they might brighten up the room. Saw them when I cleaned out the gutters earlier.โ
โShit, I didnโt even see that, thanks babe.โย
Tim finished off your drink with a mint leaf garnish and brought it to you with a smile. You patted your lap and his cheeks flamed, quietly suppressing his delight. โTake a seat and tell me about your day.โ
He did as you said, practically buzzing under your attention. You took a sip from the cocktail and hummed, your other hand rubbing circles on his lower back. Timmy cleared his throat and began listing all the things he had been so excited to report to you, pride swelling at each little word of praise from you. It was hard to stay still, to focus on his words when the hand that was on his back traveled to the nape of his neck, flustering him as you twirled one of his carefully curated curls around your finger.
โYou look so pretty today, Tim.โ
Was there any wonder how Timmy fell for you? Heโd never get up. โThank you, love.โ
โMhmm, letโs get your pretty ass on up and in the dining room. Think Iโve delayed dinner long enough.โ
Timothรฉe loved the attention but he was glad for a distraction, his face was so hot he could reheat the meal on it, if necessary.
As you ate together, he asked about your day and your mood deflated then flared as you recounted the annoyance that was the principal of your school. Timmy had heard you complain about him before, knew you didnโt like him or agree with his decisions half of the time. Timothรฉe thought you would make a wonderful principal, had mentioned it before but you loved the kids. Being principal took you out of the classroom and that just wouldnโt do for you. Thus, your frustrating cycle at work continued. He felt a little bad for souring your mood, for spoiling the sweet flavor of cake still on your tongues. He had to make it up to you.
โWe could snuggle up on the couch, watch a little tv,โ he suggested as he rested his hand over yours.
โSorry, Tim, I'm a little too keyed up from the day to wind down just yet.โ
Timmyโs heart thumped in his chest as he trailed a finger over the back of your hand, as far up your arm as he could reach. โWell then, use me.โ
You raised an eyebrow, a lopsided grin growing on your lips. Timothรฉe returned it with an inviting one of his own as he stood. Taking your hands, he walked backwards as he led you to the bedroom. โUse me however you see fit.โ
i jus got back for a hot minute now why would someone leave a comment like this rosie u deserve the world ๐ญ i am ready to FIGHT i stg
its insane how readers like them think their unwelcomed opinions masked as criticism would be helpful. this is just so traumatic and rude. i am #1 rosie defender squad i love all the fics its amazingly written and makes me feel giddy all the time ๐ฅฐ the way u describe scenes are chefs kiss,,
Fanfiction is FREE! It is a labor of love! Despite the readers who either take advantage of that love or actively tear it down by doing shit like THIS! We beg for interaction and when you do you come in with being an asshole and call it constructive criticism!
Whoever this person is, I hope they never get to read another fic in their life. You seem miserable and self-entitled and Iโm so sorry for all the people who know you cuz this canโt be just the way you act to strangers on the internet. Im tired.
I'm so sorry this person left this message. It's horrible that they would be so rude and accuse you of not putting in the work. That's abhorrent on their part and reads like someone who has never written anything in their life.
ngl the part that stung the most was them calling me a sloppy imitation of you cause i look up to you so much as a writer so it means a lot to have you condemn this kind of behavior
that commenter is so unhinged and the way they wrote it tells you how much they are trying to desperately get a reaction, that is not constructive criticism of any sorts, that just a bunch of bullshit written together, your fics are wonderful and you are working your ass off to write such incredible stories, don't ever listen to them
Fanfiction is FREE! It is a labor of love! Despite the readers who either take advantage of that love or actively tear it down by doing shit like THIS! We beg for interaction and when you do you come in with being an asshole and call it constructive criticism!
Whoever this person is, I hope they never get to read another fic in their life. You seem miserable and self-entitled and Iโm so sorry for all the people who know you cuz this canโt be just the way you act to strangers on the internet. Im tired.
I'm so sorry this person left this message. It's horrible that they would be so rude and accuse you of not putting in the work. That's abhorrent on their part and reads like someone who has never written anything in their life.
ngl the part that stung the most was them calling me a sloppy imitation of you cause i look up to you so much as a writer so it means a lot to have you condemn this kind of behavior
Fanfiction is FREE! It is a labor of love! Despite the readers who either take advantage of that love or actively tear it down by doing shit like THIS! We beg for interaction and when you do you come in with being an asshole and call it constructive criticism!
Whoever this person is, I hope they never get to read another fic in their life. You seem miserable and self-entitled and Iโm so sorry for all the people who know you cuz this canโt be just the way you act to strangers on the internet. Im tired.
Pairing: Timothรฉe Chalamet x named black character
A/n: yeauhhhhhh we out 2022!! ๐๐คฉ๐ฅณ last fic of the year! Enjoy more of disaster simp tim ๐ just under 3.5k words, lemme know what you think! Minors, ageless and blank blogs dni!
Note: This series includes a named female main character. She will not have any other descriptions other than being brown skinned and having golden eyes.
It wasnโt hard to tell that he was smitten with her. Anytime she was in his presence, something hit the ground. If she walked into a room he already occupied, a clatter was not far behind. He tried to hide it, but how do you practice retaining basic motor skills that youโve had since you were a toddler? His dexterity flew out the window when she was in his line of sight.
โFriend, the embarrassment I feel on your behalf is painful so I cannot even imagine what it must be like for you,โ his friend, Jacob, smirked.
โHush,โ Timothรฉe growled as he kicked the sweet bread heโd dropped off the path and into the grass. Just the glimpse of Chantal across the square had him fumbling the dessert from the tavern he and Jacob had just left.
โHonestly, Iโm surprised youโve gone this long without major injury.โ
โI beg of you, shut up! Iโm well aware of my failings, thank you.โ
โFailings, to be sure, little Fiona does better toddling about than you!โ
โYou believe yourself to be so funny.โ
โThe most entertainment you have.โ
โThatโs only because I havenโt fixed my lute string yet.โ
โAh yes, and how did you break that again?โ
โShut. Up.โ
Timothรฉe parted ways with Jacob where the path diverted to their respective houses. The large wooden lodge he lives in loomed on the road ahead. It had to be roomy to fit all its occupants and a business inside; his parents, his two aunts and his uncle, his grandmothers, his sister and three cousins milling about, and himself. This time of day, Tim expected a near empty house with few of its inhabitants inside. Just his mother and grandmothers. Perhaps his sister Pauline or his cousin Kiernan. A decently quiet afternoon to fix his lute string by the fire at the feet of his elders at their normal post of knitting across from each other in the den.
Timothรฉe walked towards his shared bedroom, intent on getting his instrument, when he noticed his mother taking an order at the shop door. It was a Dutch door which served as a pseudo shop counter for drop offs. He stutter-stepped as he recognized the voice of the customer. Chantalโs father.
โFour total,โ Diamant continued as he balanced a stack of three fabrics on the door. โIโd like these mended and patched for me, my wife and my youngest. The fur linings will need to be touched up as well. I request only prey animal hides be used, please. On the blue one, could you do some embroidery? The phases of the moon along the hood?โ
โAs you like,โ Timothรฉeโs mom nodded easily as she took note. โAnd the fourth?โ
โA new cloak. For my eldest. A gift.โ It was the first time Timothรฉe had seen the man grin, small as it was.ย
It was stupid how his heart pounded just from the simple allusion to her, but Timothรฉe had accepted long ago that he was irredeemably gone for Chantal Renรฉe. His body chemistry and personal physics changed the moment her golden eyes met his.
Payment was exchanged as the order was settled up. Timothรฉe was already daydreaming. He wanted to make it. He really, desperately wanted to make her cloak. Itโd kill him and cure him all in one to see her walking about the village in a garment of his making. Itโd make up for the fact that heโs still never uttered a word to her.
Pauline moved in on the stack, beginning to look over their motherโs notes. Timothรฉe hustled over and slapped a hand over it. She startled.
โWhat the devil is wrong with you?!โ
โLet me make the fourth one.โ
She looked at him as if heโd lost his mind, which, fair. She peered down at the parchment, trying to read between his fingers. โWhoโs it for?โ
โThe Renรฉeโs.โ
Pauline held up her hands. โSay nothing more, brother. All yours.โ
Timothรฉe marched to the weaversโ shop. They had a close partnership, working in tandem to clothe and keep warm the people of the village. He tried to temper his excitement but he wasnโt sure if he managed it. His mind was winding with different ideas for Chantalโs cloak. A black wool melton with orange fox fur would be stunning. The fiery orange would bring out the flash in her eyes. But no, he shook his head despite loving the mental image. Prey animals only, her father had specified. He wondered why. Personal beliefs perhaps? Whatever the reason, he had to shift plans. Blue looked lovely on you. You had a dress in faded indigo that always elicited a wistful sigh from him every time you wore it. But your sisterโs cloak was blue and Timothรฉe preferred to get you something unlike the others. White was too impractical and your motherโs cloak was green. Should he revisit the black melton again?
All thoughts were knocked out of his head as he approached the shop. In the window, Portia was just arranging fresh new yardage of wool in the front window. Timothรฉe pushed inside of the store without taking his eyes off of it, his jaw dropped.
โBeauty, ainโt it? You wouldnโt believe what all we had to do to get this deep shade of red! The combination of dyes alone! Why John was collecting berries till his hands turnedโฆโ
Timothรฉe was no longer listening, if he ever was. The theater of his mind was showcasing Chantal, in an ankle length cloak of this. A deep candy red, thoroughly saturated to perfection. She pulled the hood up and it was lined with white arctic hare fur, framing her dark coils. And as she twirled, the cloak belled out and silver and gold embroidery twinkled in the winter sun, an intricate design lining the edges of the entire piece. And at her neck, a silver clasp he had bought years ago with no project in mind at the time but he knew heโd find the perfect item for them one day. It was today. It was for Chantal.
His head snapped to the side, cutting off Portia who was still ranting about the toil that went into the fabric.
โHow much.โ
A lot, was the short answer. Timothรฉe had actually dipped into his own funds just so his family as a whole wouldnโt come out as a loss with this purchase. It was more than Diamant had given them for it. But it was more than worth it. Timothรฉe was downright giddy with his find, eager to get it home and turn the cloak Chantal modeled in his head into reality.
Timothรฉeโs world for the next several days was all ruby wool. Ruby wool and thoughts of Chantal but that wasnโt new. He didnโt often have the opportunity to make a piece from scratch himself. He usually did one or two parts of the process or worked on patch jobs. But with this project, he really could sink his teeth in. He absorbed the methodical and meditative process of forming the shape of the cape; the crisp sound of his freshly sharpened fabric shears cutting the excess of the wool, joining the wide cape pieces together with a secure stitch then doubling back to hide the raw edges in a neat French seam, brushing out arctic hare fur then fitting it along the hood. He got lost in the repetition, in the mindless work that let his thoughts wander. Day and night, Timothรฉe had the cloak in hand, either spread out on his work table or over his lap in front of the fire. He only put it down to eat and sleep.
He devoted so much of his time to it that at the witching hour a full week later, Timothรฉe secured the last embroidered thread on the decorative trim. He placed it on the form stand, securing the shiny clasp at the neck. Draping it just so and stress-testing his stitches, Timothรฉe finally stood back and took it all in.
A rich blood red in the moonlight and the embroidery enhanced by candlelight, with a gentle hand over the fur, it looked perfect. Exactly how he envisioned it. Timothรฉe was incredibly proud of himself, his sense of accomplishment overriding just how fucking tired he was. But a little exhaustion and throbbing fingertips were small prices to pay. He put out the fire that he worked by and picked up a lantern. He couldnโt wait to go upstairs and hit his mattress. The bliss of a job well done carrying his tired bones into sleep.
A bliss that curdled quickly after waking.
In the morning light, all of his pride and pleasure had eked to the floor at the sight of the cloak he had finished.
It was too stunning. Embarrassingly so, especially now next to the other cloaks. Beside the muted brown of her fatherโs, the faded green of her motherโs, even the lovely bright navy of her sisterโs, this one more than stood out. Red as a cardinal and just as striking as one in the snow with the white hare fur lining the hood. A silver filigree clasp held it closed and he used the motifs to inspire his embroidery. Painstaking handiwork in silver and gold thread, winding together in a design about an inch thick along the edge of the entire cloak. Exactly as heโd imagined. Last night it had just looked nice.
But now it looked fit for a noble. Not just by comparison to the other cloaks of her family but it would to every cloak in the damn village. Some of the more well-off families had cloaks this elaborate but not a lot of everyday villagers had both nice fabric and intricate embroidery.ย
Timothรฉe may as well have declared in the square his undying love for her, because in not so silent red wool, the cloak would be doing so every time she wore it.ย
Pauline whistled low as she took it in. โI would say that Iโm surprised you made this in the time it took me and Kiernan to do the other three, but it would be a lie.โ
โHush.โ He groaned. But even if she did, that didnโt mean the others would follow suit.
โI couldnโt pledge to him having three meals a day this past week, but him finishing today was a much safer wager,โ Kiernan giggled behind her hand.
โHush.โ
โSo does it still count as a courting gift if she doesnโt know youโre mad for her? Iโm curious,โ his cousin called out from his seat at the kitchen table.
โEveryone, shut up!โ
Pauline just chuckled as she brushed past him. โWell, you better make yourself scarce. Monsieur Renรฉe said heโd be here first thing this morning for the three cloaks. How thrilled heโll be to see he can take all four home today!โ
Mortification and fear trilled down his spine at the thought of coming face to face with Diamant in the presence of such flagrant devotion to his daughter.ย
โIโm sure first thing means after breakfast,โ Kiernan said, patting his shoulder soothingly. โCome, sit down to eat and then you can make your getaway.โ
Only Timothรฉe wasnโt so fortunate. Cursed by the fact that Diamant was apparently an early riser or had foregone breakfast, he was halfway through a bowl of porridge and eggs when a knock rapped on their shop door. Timothรฉe choked as he moved too many directions at once, trying to put down the bowl, scoot back from the table, and sprint away all in the same millisecond.
He ignored the snickers of his sister and cousins, making for the stairs as swiftly as possible. He had just made it there when Pauline opened the door for Diamant fully, welcoming him in to wait while she gathered the cloaks he ordered.
Timothรฉe sat down on the steps, unseen but still wanting to bear witness to her fatherโs reaction.
โAs an unexpected bonus, the new cloak was finished in time as well!โ
โOh, thatโs certainly a surprise. Did itโ.โ But his voice cut off as Pauline directed his gaze to the cloak still on the form. Anticipation pumping through Timothรฉeโs veins like blood, he watched through the large space between rungs for any sign of emotion on the stony manโs face.
โItโsโฆ exquisite. You made this?โ he asked finally.
โNope. Timothรฉe did.โ Pauline responded, immediately throwing him under the cart.
Timothรฉe couldnโt even enjoy the flood of pleasure at the compliment before the horror of betrayal set in. Unerringly, Diamant found the spot where he was hiding and Timothรฉe sat up ramrod straight, suddenly feeling hunted.ย
โYou made this?โ
โYes, sir.โ
โThis has to be worth more than I paid.โ
โNo, it's fine! I, uh, actually got a pretty good deal on it.โ Not a lie but the deal wasn't as significant as he made it seem.
โAnd the needlework? You did all of this design in the time since I commissioned these?โ
Timothรฉe worried for the state of their stairs. Theyโd go up in flames if his body could possibly heat up from embarrassment more than it already was. He really didnโt have to ask so plainly, it was obvious to everyone and the hounds that Timothรฉe was atrociously stupid over his daughter. The man could just let him die in silence. There was no way to downplay the hours heโd put into the embroidery that lined the entirety of the fabric in two different shades. So Timothรฉe just cleared his throat and admitted it.
โYes. I did.โ
The man stared at him for a couple heartbeats, it felt like a couple hundred the way Timothรฉeโs heart galloped along.
โYou have to let me compensate you for the extra craftsmanship you put into it.โ
Timothรฉe winced. โPlease donโt.โ He didnโt want it commodified or to dwell on it any longer. His hopeless romanticism had gotten him into more trouble than he was worth. But Chantal was worth it. โItโs enough that you like it. I appreciate your praise.โ
Diamant tilted his head to the side, considering him again. Timothรฉe forced a tight smile, nervous under the scrutiny.
โWell, you have my thanks. Itโs a fine piece. Iโm sure Chantal will treasure it.โ
It was embarrassing what hearing her name aloud did to him and even more to have it happen in front of her father. But Timothรฉe couldnโt have prevented the softening of his smile even if he tried. He just ducked his head towards the man, not trusting himself to respond to that like a normal human being. Pauline helped him wrap the parcels up and loaded them into a crate for him to take them home in. When Diamant left, his entire family turned to look at him from their respective locations and Timothรฉe focused on the beams of their ceiling to avoid every pair of knowing eyes.
โNot. A. Word.โ
He was fully expecting there to be scorch marks left on the steps where he sat.
Timothรฉe worked the large shears in his grasp, frowning at their looseness. Well, that wonโt do. He got up to go tighten them. As he passed the shop door, a knock rapped gently. He doubled back and swung open the top of it. โCan I helpโ?โ
Suns. Honey. Gold.
The shears fell to the ground and he winced absently at the sound. Jacob was right. Heโs lucky he hasnโt sustained many injuries yet.
โSorry.โ Chantalโs voice brought his attention back immediately.
Smelted metal. Dancing flames. Gold.
โNo! No um, it was my fault. Definitely not yours. Wh-what uh, what can I do? For you, what can I do for you?โ
Well this was going poorly. His first time speaking to her in the years since she moved (thatโs right, years) and it was already going to shit. There was still a completely hazardous tool on the ground between them that he was too nervous to retrieve. He could barely string a damn sentence together without stuttering. And any miniscule bit of progress he made got absolutely dashed when she made eye contact. His mind got scrambled in gold and came out the other end blank as a slate.
It was clear he adored her. His family knew. Her father knew. The entire village probably knew. Did she know?
โYouโre Timothรฉe, correct?โ
Have mercy. Nothing could have prepared him for the sound of his name on her lips. He swallowed and cleared his throat. Cleared it again, determined to be coherent henceforth. โYup.โ Adequate.
โSo you are the one I must thank for my beautiful cloak.โ
Her smile was thanks enough if you asked him, as warm and radiant as her eyes. He endeavored to keep his gaze from lingering on her lips. His own grin was reflexive and indulgent. Timothรฉe shrugged.
โI was inspired.โ
โThereโs shears on the ground, Tim, did you know?โ Paulineโs voice and Kiernanโs stifled snort came from behind him.
He closed his eyes and said a quick prayer for strength, turning to hiss at the two menaces through gritted teeth. โThank you. Iโm aware.โ
โWell, are you going to pick them up?โ
โWasnโt going to, no.โ
He turned around, pointedly refocusing on Chantal with a forced smile. โWhat were we saying before they rudely interrupted?โ
โSomething about you being inspired.โ And just by the tone of her voice, the knowing glint to those gold eyes, it was clear. She knew. His open secret known to its subject, with her standing a mere three paces away. The realization made him want to put the shears at his feet to use, find them a new home in his gut. But Chantal wasnโt cruel about it. Teasing, yes. Flirting? God, he hoped so. Nevermind, that if she was, two could absolutely not play at that game given his awkwardness already.ย
โI did sincerely want to thank you. Iโve never owned something so fine. Itโll be an honor to wear such a piece. I may just bring it out any time it gets even the tiniest bit cold out. Just look how perfectly it suits!โ Chantal said as she stepped back for him to see his work on its intended model. His mouth went dry, the real thing right in front of him putting his imagination to shame. And worse, she did a twirl and it was like time slowed, the fabric fanning out flatteringly and revealing her faded indigo dress that was a favorite of his underneath. Timothรฉe knew his gaze to be lovesick and pitiful, his mouth ajar as his jaw hung, but he couldnโt bring himself to fix either personal failing.ย
โHow does it look?โ She asked with a false innocence.
โPerfect.โ
Her beaming smile faded as she looked behind him and he too tuned into the conversation his father and uncle were having.
โPortia said thatโs the second sheep oโ hers thatโs come up dead in as many weeks.โ
โWhatโs she thinking done it?โ
โSomething killed it. Probably a wolf with the way it looks.โ
โPity.โ
โThank you again,โ Chantalโs voice called him back around, her smile tight. โI really appreciate your lovely work, Timothรฉe. Iโll be proud to show it off.โ
His heart was knocking on the confines of his ribcage again. Her saying his name could very well stop it one day for good. โYouโre very welcomeโฆ Chantal.โ
Her visage softened a bit before turning to leave, heading down the path to the main road. Timothรฉe watched until the red fabric left his view.
โWell, that could have been worse!โ Kiernan cheered. Pauline snorted.
โThough to be fair, it still wasnโt great.โ
โOh, ha ha. Certainly no thanks to you meddling magpies, I really donโt need help embarrassing myself.โ
Timothรฉeโs mom strode past with a crate in hand. โWhat are you all doing?โ
โTimothรฉe was just being pathetic again,โ Pauline announced.ย
โOh, was Chantal here?โย
Timothรฉe choked on air. Betrayal from every turn in this damn house. โMom!!โย
She completely ignored him, plowing on to say, โI had something to give her for her mother.โย
Kiernan hummed. โWell, weโre sure Timothรฉe would be delighted to deliver it for you.โย
He leveled her a glare. No one in this house respected his feelings, exploiting his crush for laughs and to torture him. It was cruel to assume such a thing of him, that heโd willingly put himself back in close proximity again. That he'd jump at the opportunity to be in an awkward position again. That heโd happily sacrifice his pride to seek her out so soon after just having his first conversation with her. It was downright reprehensible.
this motherfucker has wanted her for YEARS and hasnโt spoken to her once??? oh he GONE gone
you know iโm a sucker for simp timmy and i think this might be the simpiest youโve ever written him ๐ญ he jumped so fast at the chance to make her cloak and was so extra making it
and she absolutely knew what she was doing by twirling for him like that ๐๐๐ i love how mischievous chantal is
Okay so a production of Hamlet that ends with โGoodnight, sweet prince,โ etc. and then Horatio looks up and sees the audience for the first time and is both shocked and furious, because his world is falling apart and you sat there and watched.
This idea would go fantastically well with my directorโs idea that Hamlet knows the whole time that heโs in a play. He had me (when I played Hamlet) interact with the audience, exchange looks with people in the front row, deliver my soliloquies to people in the first few rows casually like I was just talking to them, and I even had the idea to not freeze and just walk about the stage when other characters had their little โasides,โ which he allowed me to keep in.
Basically, if Hamlet continuously acknowledges the audience unnoticed by all the other characters (almost Fleabag-style) and then suddenly heโs gone, and obviously he knew heโd have to be gone at the end, and then poor Horatio is left all alone to finally realize there was someone else there the entire time, now that would make it all the more devastating.
Thereโs no difference between the Danish courtiers, who showed up because they wanted to see the Mad Prince get his butt kicked in a staged sword-fight, and us the audience (whoโฆ also showed up to watch Hamlet loose a sword fight.)ย
I want to see a production where Horatio just stares at us, and screamsย โNow cracks a noble heart!โ with the subtextย โYou fucking fuckers. He was better than all of you, you watched him die, and you just stood there.
Then, he just silently cries over the body. For like FIVE MINUTES. And the courtiers peel away into the wings, one by one, until Horatio is alone on stage with a lot of dead bodies. It starts getting uncomfortable. Youโre thinkingโฆ is the play over? Am I supposed to go? (hamlet is just about the *only* play where the final scene is cut about 50% time, so use that uncertainty, use that ambiguity.) Maybe some people do get up to go. Thereโs definitely muttering. And then thereโs smashing sounds coming from the direction of the box office, and Horatio looks up, with an expression like somethingโs gone wrong.ย
But then he says,ย โWhy do the drums come hither?โ Fortinbras enters though the audience, and the play continues.ย
(I *also* think it would be really cool to cut for intermission right after Claudius freaks out and breaks up the play-within-a-play. Just imagine it: king yellsย โLights! Lights! Lights!โ And the houselights come up.)ย
How does every netflix show with white mlm couples get renewals left and right but every wlw show just gets canceled whenever they become canon. I am genuinely devastated.
Pairing: Lifeโs Perfect Ache!Paul Atreides x black!OFC
WC: just under 1k
A/n: more about these two that donโt fit into any fic plans ๐ smut and sass ahead. Minors, ageless and blank blogs dni. Credit to @get-your-fics cuz a lot of my headcanons came from word vomiting in her dms and her entertaining me ๐๐ซถ๐ฝ๐
Paul rolled over the morning after their first very long night together. The newly familiar feeling of Pharaoโs bare skin met his touch and he groaned sleepily as he re-fitted himself to the curves and angles of her, snuggling her closer. โI donโt want to leave this room.โ
Pharao grunted. โThen donโt, stupid.โ
He nuzzled his nose into her temple. โWhat a good idea, youโd think thereโs a brain in here.โ
Their second morning, he woke up to her staring at him, her eyes slowly poring over him.
โWhat?โ He grumbled.
She whispered back, her words almost reverent as if it was only just now sinking in. โWe got married. We truly did. Youโre my husband.โ
And the word on her lips caused his dick to throb. He whimpered as he grinded it against her leg before groaning and ducking beneath the covers.
โMy wife.โ Paul mumbled between her legs. He snaked his arms under her thighs before framing her hips. โMy Pharao.โ
And with the first lick of his tongue, his name was tumbling from hers. โPaul.โ
One casual day on Caladan, Paul is just staring at Pharao sitting next to him. Eventually she notices and stares back. Small grins dancing on both of their lips.
Leto grimaces as he looks back and forth between the two. โWhat is this? Whatโs happening right now?โ
Paul shrugs. โMy wife is pretty.โ
Pharao rolls her eyes even as a full smile breaks through. โYou are so full of shit.โ
โIโm full of love for you, actually.โ
โDisgusting.โ
โI never said I was proud of it.โ
โWell, you couldnโt have done better than me truly.โ
Leto groans disruptively. โWater take me, when do you two go to Enfiel? Itโs time Abraxas has to deal with this.โ
โWhy have you come to bother me?โ Paul deadpanned, barely looking up from his desk.
โAll I did was step in the door! Who said Iโve come to bother you?โ
โBecause I have it on good authority that you spend every waking moment bothering me.โ
Pharao scoffed. โMy lifeโs not all about you, Atreides.โ
He frowned as he finally looked up at her. โIs there someone else youโre bothering? Should I be jealous?โ
She snorted as she sidled up beside his chair. โNo, but you so frequently are anyway.โ
Her smirk was practically feline. Paul was in no mood. He grabbed her chin, a little rougher than necessary, squishing her cheeks and puckering her lips the tiniest bit.
โHow do you manage to still look pretty even when you are aggravating me into the atmosphere?โ
โA talent.โ
โAn annoying one.โ He pecked her lips before releasing her chin and pushing at her chest. Paul refocused on the documentation he had to read through. โLeave me be, woman.โ
โCareful what you wish for, little duke,โ she sing-songed as she strolled towards his door again and it immediately reminded him that his wife was a petty one. And one unpleasant thing Paul had found when the floodgates of their love opened up was that he was actually quite needy. Sheโd withhold her affections just to be an asshole and it would drive him spare.
โLeave me be until lunch,โ he amended.
Paul and Pharao have only gotten worse since getting married. They could bicker back and forth for hours without getting tired and regularly do. Meanwhile, everyone around them gets fed up and leaves in the first ten minutes. They've been known to clear out rooms and not even notice until like 20 mins of bickering later because when their families sense an argument coming on they immediately evacuate. As colorful and inventive as their digs at each other are, they arenโt as bad as when their shit talk turns suggestive.
Abraxas is very annoyed that the bickering hasnโt ended since they got together. He thought the denial of pining was bad, the sexual tension is lightyears worse.
Paul: Stars, must you be so foul-mouthed in every situation?
Pharao: I am sorry princess, am I offending your delicate constitution?
Paul, smirking: I'm sure you recall I was anything but delicate this morning. Much more suitable occasion for that foul mouth of yoursโ
Abraxas: SHUT THE FUCK UP YALL ARE IN PUBLIC
And both Pharao and Paul jump because usually anyone in the room has already left by then. This 100% has happened on multiple occasions. Multiple.
Brax is sick of it. Leto is secretly pleased. Heโs very much like โThatโs my boy, he gets that from me.โ Brax thinks if theyโre gonna traumatize him they can at least make him a grandfather but they are being annoyingly safe about their birth control.
Itโll happen one day. Before or after they become the new seats of government for the Known Universe? Whoโs to sayโฆ
I can see them being super passionate for each other but not the type to fuck where they can get caught usually. Theyโve done it but super rarely and it was highly unlikely for anyone to catch them. I feel like theyโre too professional? to do anything like that. If they get too embroiled in a passionate argument and get carried away but that doesnโt happen too often. They may make out and feel each other up in that situation but they usually take it to their bedroom first before anything can really happen. They may not fuck in public but theyโll absolutely delay/cancel meetings to fuck. Just married nobility things. Their fathers have created monsters and everyone has to live with it.
Check out the Lifeโs Perfect Ache AU masterlist here!
Okay, I just watched the new Hocus Pocus (in my Hocus Pocus shirt, with my black cat sleeping on my shoulder, because of course).ย It was just as cheesy and corny and stupid and fun as the original, and I canโt recommend it enough.
Literally everything I hoped it would be.ย
I keep seeing junk articles slamming it, but I think those people have forgotten that when they saw the original movie, they were eight years old.ย Itโs Hocus Pocus, not Citizen Kane.ย Go into it like you did when you were a kid with a bag full of trick or treat candy and hay fever from running all over your neighborhood in a polyester Wonder Woman smock.ย
