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Calaguas, muntik na kitang minahal. 💕💕💕
Quarter Life Crisis
(Copied from somewhere I don’t remember)
Quarterlife Crisis
(i don't know who wrote this, but a good read for people of my age - :))
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.
What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life; You feel alone and scared and confused; Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better; All this while you had been convincing yourself that you didn't want to be tied down to any person; Now suddenly you have moments of self-doubt when you wonder if you waited too long and let someone special get away. You love someone but maybe love someone else too, and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person! Random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic;
You want to be independent but suddenly, the idea of having the stability of a special someone to trust and lean on doesn't seem all that bad. You want to be your own person and yet be taken care of at the same time.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
God's Plan
Ive prayed about it and I'm like, "I don't know where I'm supposed to go but You do and You have a greater plan for me...and I know that I've trusted You this far along the way. I need to continue to do that."
Lemons
Sabi nila, “When life throws you lemons, make lemonade.” Ang sabi ko naman, pag masyadong maraming lemons ang binabato sa ‘yo, bakit di ka gumawa ng lemon pie? lemon chicken? lemon squares? o kaya i-partner sa vodka ang lemon at magparty!
Two Sundays ago, I volunteered to drive for a friend to get strawberry plants for her new business. We bprrowed and old run-down car from her German friend and set off for the two-hour drive. To be honest, I didn’t expect to drive a very old vehicle with some of the basic features not functioning at all. Take for example its side mirrors. It seemed to have a mind of its own folding slowly as we went along, which made it hard to see my clearance from left to right. It also has no horns, which is essential especially for pedestrians and fellow drivers who lack road discipline. The signal lights? Not functioning at all! Oh, and did I mention that the front wheels also seem to be fighting off my steering wheel? It also has no air condition, or tinted windshield, which made the scorching heat of the sun very happy to be seeping through our skin directly. Aside from all these imperfections, the vehicle’s engine performance was commendable given that it’s already, what, almost 2 decades old? I am really not much the complaining type. After all, it was I who volunteered for the job. So my friend and I just laughed our heads off whenever the vehicle did not give whatever it was that the situation required at the time...like, when I had to overtake a slow-moving tricycle on a national road and I simply can’t do it because I had no signal lights and the car moved very slow in uphill slopes. Or when I had to honk the horn for a pedestrian who just appeared out of nowhere. It was really dangerous. I could not count the ties I made the sign of the cross and prayed quietly for a safe travel.
And so, finally, we got to our destination. We decided to take our lunch first and upon seeing our gas meter, we fueled up in the nearest gas station and then...bam! The unthinkable happened. The vehicle just would not start anymore. I kept revving up the gas while turning on the key but to no avail. I thought maybe, we fueled the wrong gas. Maybe, the car runs on diesel and not gas? We had to make sure so my friends called up the owner of the car. He told us that yes, it runs on gasoline. So, what could possibly be the problem? And, what can two girls do in a place where we don’t know anyone to ask help for? I immediately told my friend to get off the vehicle and invited her to have a cup of hot choco in the nearby coffee shop. She was puzzled by my lack of concern for the problem at hand. I simply said, “Beth, when life throws you lemon, make lemonade!” I just figured that since we don’t know anything about mechanics, we really can’t do anything but to ask for help and talk about alternative plans in case the vehicle won’t get fixed. Being cool, calm, and collected is always a god way to deal with stresses in life. So, we ordered suman and hot choco. Mind you, it’s the best suman I’ve ever tasted in a long time!
There were just a few staff at the station because it’s a Sunday! But lucky for us, the gasoline boy was very helpful. He called the owner’s driver for help. Immediately, he came with another guy and, together, they tried to figure out the problem. While they were at it, something exploded in the engine. Oh, boy. That didn’t look good at all. They called up another guy (this time a real mechanic), who showed up after one hour because he was too busy drinking with friends. Well, you can guess what happened next. The vehicle remained unfixed. Next plan, to find anyone who are willing to tow us back to the city. The first driver we asked was very suplado and unwilling. Okay, fine. The next driver said, he was willing but only up to a certain town and for a certain amount. That would have been fine but we would want to go straight to the city without any hassle of asking for naother one to tow us. You know that moment in “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” wherein you have used all your lifelines, and your last resort would be to “call a friend?” That’s what happened. Beth tried calling people to ask if they know someone nearby who can pull our vehicle in tow. You can imagine the kind of desperation we were having as we have been stranded for 4 hours already and it will be dark soon. Imagine, 2 girls, one broken vehicle, in the outskirts of the city, specifically, the boundary of Davao and Bukidnon. You could say that we should have been crying by this time. But no. We refused to be the damsels in distress. We just laughed at the situation that we have gotten ourselves into. Some of the guys who helped us even told us, “What were you thinking driving this old car here?” Oh, well. We just laughed. We really can’t do anything can we? Then, the owner of the gas station who managed to be the owner of the big resort hotel nearby learned of our story. He was nice enough to offer us a room in case we needed to spend the night there. Such a generous and kind-hearted guy! Fortunately, we didn’t have to extend our stay there as the final help arrived. We managed to get a hold of a towing service through Beth’s friend Flor.
To cut the long story short, we finally arrived home 12 hours after all of these began. 12 hours of a string of unfortunate events! But not once, did we let our spirits down. We just found humor in everything that has happened. When finally, I was all freshened up and comfortably sitting in the sala, I asked myself, why do unfortunate things happen? Why me? And then, a small voice at the back of my head said, “why not?” Sometimes, we are all so caught up with the whims of this world that somehow we feel we are entitled to only the good stuff...that we don’t deserve bad things to happen to us. I, for one, am guilty of such “self-entitlement” mentality.
Fast forward to one week after the incident, we found out that something broke in the engine that caused the vehicle not to start. Thinking about it now, it was really not a string of unfortunate events but rather the opposite. The car could might as well been broken down while we were driving along the national highway and we wouldn’t have known what to do. Instead, God allowed our engine to break down just after filling up with gas. He made sure that we were in the comfort of a coffee shop while planning on our contingency plan. He made sure that there were people to help us in the vicinity. And though they didn’t fix the vehicle, I realize now that God sent them to us so we wouldn’t panic and feel secure that someone was at least trying to fix the problem. The owner of the resort was there for a reason. It was God telling us that if all else fails, you can rest comfortably in my arms at no cost.
I am still amazed at how God teaches us lessons in a very personal and direct way. Next time something unfortunate happens to me, I know that there is a lesson to be learned there...and I will just be cool as a cucumber because I know God is in control.
"Sometimes, people leave you halfway through the woods. Do not let it grieve you. No one leaves for good. You are not alone. No one is alone..."
That's the thing about food, it demands to be eaten. - The Fault in our Diets #icegiants #whenindavao #mangogiants #icecream #mango #food
What's in a name?
Have you ever tried learning the meaning behind your name? If not, ask your parents or whoever named you. You just might find it interesting.
When I was in grade school, we were asked to report what our name means. During that time, Google was not yet around. The only source I had was my mother. I have the one of the weirdest combination of two common names. Katrina and Bambie. Okay, Bambie may not be that common as part of a girl's full name. Usually, it's used as a nickname for girls, gays...and yes, even dogs. More of this later.
According to my mom, when she was pregnant with me, she was reading this novel, which she forgot the title to. The name of the protagonist was Katrina. After reading the book, she decided right then and there to name me after that character. But, she needs another name. Two names were a big trend at that time. After I was born, the first thing that people notice is my big round eyes. My mother just watched a Disney movie, "Bambi". Remember the song Bambi's eyes? Yes, she got the idea from there. I was called Katrina Bambie. The additional letter "e" was there to put a feminine touch to the name. Nice...not?! Haha
All my life, only a few call me Katrina. Most of the people around me would call me by my second name. I secretly hate it especially when I had to give out my name to an attractive guy. I usually receive a puzzled look with a remark that goes something like..."Is that your real name?" "Now,that's unique." "Bambie? as in Bambi the Deer?" "Oh, I used to have a dog named Bambie!" Sucks, right? Not only that, they usually play with my name as if saying it shouldn't be taken seriously. I would be called bamblebee, bambini, bambinelli, bambilicious, thebomb, bombastic, bambina, bambiedeer, etc. It made me question my parents. What were they thinking when they gave me that name? They would just laugh at me and comfort me by saying that it's not so bad. It's kind of cute, actually and very unique. Yes, it's cute when I was 5, but when I turned 15, it's often a cause of embarrassment. Sad. But, and there's a big but, I must agree that it's a very unique name. It's a relief everytime I would get an NBI clearance. There is no one in the country or even in the whole world, who has the same name as I have. If only for that, I feel very grateful for my name.
As I meet a lot of people along the way, it's always the same story. People would ask the story behind my name and I will answer with the same story. Heck, I wish I would just record the explanation and play it whenever someone asks.
One boring day, I googled the meaning of my name. For the first time in two decades, I started feeling comfortable with my name. I learned that Katrina is a German name that means pure. Bambi is an Italian name for little child. When put together, it is "Pure Child." Cool. I knew there must be a reason why I love children so much. It's part of my name. It's part of who I am all this time.
Do you hate your name? Do yourself a favor and research. You'll be surprised.
The phrase “Do not be Afraid” is written in the Bible 365 times. Because He knows that we needed those words every single day and for us to believe that we should live fearless.
do not be afraid because God is with us // xxii
Loyalty is a two-way street. If I’m asking it from you, then you’re getting it from me.
Harvey Specter, Suits
Learnings Today
01082010
Today, I learned that I should:
Promise myself to be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
Look at the sunny side of everything and make my
optimism come true.
Think only of the best,
work only for the best,
and expect only the best.
Forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
Give so much time to the improvement of myself
that I have no time to criticize others.
Live in the faith that
the whole world is on my side
so long as I am true
to the best that is in me.
Go for gold this 2011! :)
Learnings Today
01202011
Today, I learned that I should...
Laugh so hard that even sorrow smiles at me;
Fight so strong that even fate accepts defeat;
Love so true that even hatred walks out of the way;
And live life so well that even death loves to see me exist.
Schizophrenic Me
Long Drive. Alone. Bored. Wheels begin to turn:
Me to the long and winding road to Caticlan (@120kph) : "Mauubos ka ring daan kaaaa!"
Me to the dead cat on the road: "Nine lives pala ha!"
Me to the walking lolo with a 6-pack ab: "Hot Old Farmer! Nice!"
Me to the boys sitting on the side of the road: "Mga toto, ang laki ng sala nyo ha. Bakit di nyo pa lagyan ng TV sa gitna para kumpleto?"
Me to the scorching heat of the sun: "Wala nang bukas? Galit na galit lang ah. Masipag ka masyado. Try mo magsick leave minsan and let RAIN do its job."
Oh well. Driving alone makes you crazy sometimes. :D
What If?
"'What' and ‘if’ two words as nonthreatening
as words come. But put
them together side-by-side and they
have the power to haunt you for the
rest of your life: ‘What if?'..."
"I don't know how your story ended.
But I know that if what you felt
then was love - true love - then
it's never too late. If it was true
then why wouldn't it be true
now? You need only the courage to
follow your heart..."
"I don't know what a love like that
feels like... a love to leave loved
ones for, a love to cross oceans
for... but I'd like to believe if I
ever felt it. I'd have the courage
to seize it. I hope you had the
courage to seize it, Claire. And if
you didn't, I hope one day that you
will." ---Letters to Juliet
Part 2: Ngayong araw napatunayan ko...
na tiklop ang makukulit na guard sa masungit at pilosopo kong tatay.
My Dad is in his 60's. Just like other men his age, lumalabas na ang kasungitan nya at times.
Yesterday, my dad and I had to attend to a "transaction" in Philippine Stock Exchange in Ortigas. It involved a great deal of waiting. As we stayed there for hours on, we killed the boredom by doing our favorite pastime...kwentuhan. My dad was in the mood to "make daldal" so I let him do most of the talking.
Napunta sa guards ang aming kwentuhan. Marami siyang nakwento tungkol sa mga gwardya...about how polite they can be and how sometimes, sumosobra sila sa kakulitan (although feeling ko, hindi naman talaga makulit ang guard, sadyang inaatake lang ng high blood ang tatay ko minsan).
Sungit moment no. 1:
Sa isang shipping line...
Guard: "Sir, saan po kayo?"
Dad: "May shipment kami."
Another Guard: "Sir, anong gagawin nyo?"
Dad: "Shipment." (naasar na)
Last guard: "Sir, saan kayo pupunta?"
Dad: (Irritated) Pause. "Sa tanda ko ba namang ito, tingin mo di ko pa alam san ako pupunta?"
Sungit Moment no. 2:
Sa isang bangko...umalis sa pila ang tatay ko.
Guard: "Sir, san po kayo pupunta?"
Dad: "Sa CR, sasama ka?"
Sungit Moment no. 3:
Sa PSE...
Dad to Guard: "Andyan ba si Arlene?"
Guard: "Tungkol po saan?"
Dad: "May itatanong lang ako tungkol Sa Official Receipts."
Guard: "Ah. Tignan nyo lang po dyan sa Statement of Account. Andyan po ang mga OR numbers."
Dad: "Ikaw ba si Arlene?"
Guard: "Hindi po."
Dad: "O, hindi naman pala ikaw eh. Si Arlene ang kakausapin ko. Pakitawag."
Tsk. Mamaru. Mamarunonong kasi. hehe
Eto ang classic...
Habang naghihintay ng sasakyan, nakatayo ang tatay ko sa tapat ng isang establishment.
Guard: Sir, doon po ang sakayan.
Dad: (Parang walang naririnig)
Guard: (Kinalabit si dad) "Tay, doon po ang sakayan."
Dad: "Bakit? Sino ba nagsabing sasakay ako?"
Nang hindi na nakatingin ang guard, unti-unting umalis si dad at sumakay.
What can I say, sadyang malupet, makulit, masungit at pilosopo lang talaga ang tatay ko. Walang ibang magawa ang mga guards kundi intindihin ang "matanda" at kumamot ng ulo. Haha
Peace to all the guards out there. I salute you for your patience and love for your job. =)
Learnings Today
01282011
Today I learned that...
I should watch my life diligently.
I should know myself, watch my life, and find humour and humility through everything so I can see what I have, what I should be thankful for, and also how whatever I lost before can open doors for bigger and better blessings later on.
I also learned that God didn't live to teach us how to want more...
His life was about the challenge of letting go. They say, let go of something first, go down first, and you'll earn the kind of faith that'll allow you new beginnings and the freedom to grow.
Learnings Today
02242011
I would like to share all the wrong lessons which, unfortunately, i have mastered...
Not asking for what I want
Not saying exactly what I mean
Not saying things when I think it will upset other people
Not telling the truth
Telling only half the truth
Not honoring (paying attention, acting on the basis of) what I know is true
Waiting to tell the truth that I know
Not saying anything when I have something to say
Doing what will cause me the least amount of pain or discomfort (also known as taking the easy way out)
Being overly concerned with what other people will say/think about me
Not asking for help when I need it
Waiting until the last minute to ask for help
Waiting until the last minute
Doing things I believe will make people like me
Needing to be liked to my own self-detriment
Being afraid to say no
Staying in a situation when I know it is causing me pain
Ignoring the pain in fear of losing a familiar situation
Taking on more than I can possibly do
Not keeping my word (because I have taken more than I can possibly do)
Not exercising everyday
Trying to control people and situtaions where I believe I can get hurt
Not having a constructive way to express anger
Being afraid to express anger
Believing that I should not get angry
Making decisions in fear
Not acknowledging the consequences of my decisions
Not taking the time to assess all options available
Doing things the same way I have always done things
Not paying attention to the way I do things
Being afraid to admit that I know what to do
Acting like I don't know what to do
Trying to be like everyone else
Being afraid to be myself
Not trusting myself
Feeling afraid that I want too much
Being afraid to make a mistake
Being afraid that a mistake cannot be rectified
What's the lesson when you have mastered all the wrong lessons?
That is yet to be learned. Crap. How do you "unmaster" these things?