My fiancée has a nice ass, I do say.
GUESS WHAT BITCH JUST GOT CALLED SENPAI BY HER SENPAI?
She/He may or may not have slapped her/him on the ass nonchalantly.
I have access to Klondike bars.
I have two gangs actually.
Did you see that risqué goddess?
Help me boobs are trying to add me on skype.
Itâs not my fault Iâm the mean asshole who protects everyone.
Nerd is a term of endearment.
I dunno if you wanna know the extent of creepy but like. CREEPY.
THAT LITTLE FUCKNUGGET IN A BLANKET.
IâD RATHER BE A FLAPPER THAN UMBRIDGE.
Well, I wouldnât be your type if I was a guy/girl.
Okay, I have a LOT to say about this one bitch.
I mean, Iâm in a polyamory.
I got hit in the face by a gatorade bottle.
I am in in bed refusing to grace my family with my glorious presence.
Did you know gay guys grab ass way differently than straight guys?
Yes, welcome to hell. Do you want a name card or plate?
WHY WOULD YOU SEND ME THAT GAME YOU KNOW IâM IMPULSIVE YOU ASSPUNCH.
I DONâT WANNA SUCK DICK FOR A LIVING, EW!
Yes. This old woman is cute.
Iâm an exciting grandma.
Grandma is sexy and she knows it.
Grandmaâs have a very late rebellious phase.
I obviously went through a gender change and had many facelifts.
It was a bit shady and in the back of an RV, I have my regrets.
I may or may not have had a fling with Santa.
Grandmaâs a slut, dear.
Iâm not committed enough to drop a few thousand on a nice computer.
Ignore them, they are lilâ fuckbois.
Holy hella they are hotâ Iâm like, ten times gayer than before.
Holy lord jesus, light the way, boy do I need the trinity today.
What was heterosexuality again? Oh right, it doesnât exist in my vocabulary.
I found more nudes and Iâm steadily going more gay.
This is why women are gay. These women.
Laughing my damn ass⊠in?
Humans arenât supposed to be this perfect.
Iâm half Canadian I canât punch you.
Iâd slap you if I werenât half Canadian.
Iâm a slut for minor characters who die traumatically.
My friend wants me to dye my hair blue⊠Why? Itâs the warmest color.
Being âcuteâ is the reason Iâm single, Iâm supposed to sexy and/or hot.
Believe it or notâ Iâm a teenager stuck in an adults body refusing to grow up.
Now I know why all my friend drag me to those damn movies. They fucking hide in my shoulder.
I mean I know they drag me to haunted houses so when they are just done they can hop on my back and hide while I hiss at pervs.
My class mate just called me to yell at me in French and then asked if she got it right.
I exploded hot dogs like.. We put them in the microwave and they just⊠âSploded.
I have a pound of beef jerky to aid me in my struggles.
No cannibalism, I am not food. I like to breathe.
Cortana is the new bae. CortanaForQueen2k15.
Donât ask meâ Iâm high on oxygen.
Yuri manga is literal gold likeâ Yaoi ainât got shit on this stuff.
Thereâs this zombie in this book⊠It said, âDo you know how I like to eat people? I like to eat the scrotum, and then the brains.â And now Iâm feeling very violated and Iâm a woman.
IâM TRYING NOT TO LAUGH SO I CAN ACTUALLY BREATHE, I HAVE A SINGLE FUNCTIONING LUNG IâM DYING.
Youâre not allowed to confuse me with emotions and boob.