As he puts the last number into his phone, it's like a wave of soberness hits him.
Clay sits up from the sofa of his dorm, empty beer cans hitting the hardwood floor as he does. Almost immediately, his stomach gurgles. He can't remember the last time he hadn't eaten something that wasn't leftover pizza, or 3 day old chips. His body wasn't happy with him, but hey, this was the life, right? This was paradise in a room.
Though lately, something's been eating at him. A feeling that was getting too hard to ignore. When he'd left for school, he never really gave his parents a goodbye. Actually, they didn't even really acknowledge that he was leaving. They kind of just… sent him on his way. Out into the world, no guidance.
And now that he was officially a year away from getting his doctorate, that feeling grew stronger and stronger. An urge to get what he wanted to say all these years off his chest. And for his parents to hear it, and know what they did.
He may have gone a bit too hard on the liquid courage, but he needed it. He would've chickened out otherwise. He couldn't be sober for this.
That little hit of clarity isn't enough to stop him though. He had to do this. For his own sake.
He presses the call button.
The phone rings. And rings. And rings. For an uncomfortable amount of time. They weren't out, were they? Hell, he knew he'd be out partying if it wasn't for his headache. And they were grown, they could do whatever they wanted. But… it was still late, wasn't it? Surely they'd be-
That voice. It's like the few memories he has come flooding back.
“Yeah, its, uh, it's- ‘s me.” he hiccups in the middle of the sentence.
“What are you calling for?”
“Wha? Can’ even pretend like y’ happy t’ hear me?”
“...Clay, are you drunk right now?”
“Ugh. Gross. I'm hanging u-”
“Wait, wait, wait, no! Don't! Please!” he begs into the phone, holding onto it as if it was his father's arm.
“I… I want to tell you something. Nonono... I, uh... gotta get something off my chest.”
It's quiet for a second. “Well then... Get it out I guess.”
Now that the spotlights were on him… he didn't know what to do. He'd wanted this for years. To have his parents, or in this case, his father, at his mercy. And it was now that he knew just how poorly he prepared for this moment.
But alas, it was now or never.
“...I, uh… why do you hate me?”
“Don' pretend with me. I know you guys never liked me. You, you… you both hated me. I didn't even do anything t’ you, and you guys just fuckin’ hated me. Ignored me. And that sucked! I, I… I don't know if I did something t’ hurt you or whatever, but c’mon! 18 years, dad! 18 whole years, and I barely got anything! You and Mom fuckin’ ignored me for most of my life! Locked me in closets! Left me for days! I have blank spots because I'm pretty sure you guys messed me up so bad! And ion think you even care! You never did! You… you're a shitty dad! Huh, know that? You're a shitty dad! Boom! Done!” he cringes after the fact. He really just said boom, done.
The line is quiet for a few moments. Clay starts to think he hung up at some point in his rant, and is about to put the phone down. But before he can, he hears that damn voice again.
“I'm a shitty dad, Clay? I'm the shitty one here? At least I'm not drunk calling you at 11 o'clock at night. At least I have your mother, Clay. I have a house, Clay. I have a job, Clay. What do you have?”
Quiet. He can't answer. Half because he's in shock, the other because his brain can barely make out some of the words.
“You know what, you're a fucking joke, Clay. You call me a shitty dad, well guess what, you're a shitty son. Got that? You know what you did? You came out, and decided to go on and on about ghosts and spirits and all that bullshit. And then after that, you expected us to feed into your delusional behavior. And got pissy at us when we didn't. You wonder why we don't like you? Because you make us look stupid. You make us look like morons. You make us look crazy. You made us regret even thinking about having kids. You're the reason you don't have any brothers or sisters to go to. Because we didn't want them ending up like you. Then again, if they were normal like us, they'd probably hate you too. You wonder why we don't like you, Clay? Because you are single handedly the worst thing that could've ever possibly happened to us.”
Those last words hit him like a bullet in the chest.
“And while we're at it, you're not welcome back here. Ever. Because the last thing me and your mother want to see is a lonely, high, drunk, jobless bum rotting on our couch for months on end. Got it?”
“Keep on doing what you're doing, Clay. And before you know it, you're gonna die, drunk and alone. Just like we fuckin’ knew you would.”
Clay couldn't breathe… what was going on.
“Don't you ever fucking call this number again, asshole.”
The last thing he hears is the phone hitting the receiver before the dial tone plays.
Clay sits for a moment. He sets the phone down next to him and sits there in the dark. For how long, he didn't know.
The first thought that comes into his head?