AMANDA LOVELACE POETRY / accepting.
@unsighty sent: ‘ the pain did not make me a better person ’
WHAT ALGORITHM CREATES A BETTER PERSON ? kaneki has yet to figure it out himself. ideologies shift about within every room ; the man who culls the serial killer , is he the better of the two despite the idea of the justice system ? is the startled snake that bites the foot of the naive trespasser next to her eggs above them ... even if the bitten retaliates in fear ? his mind rambles in quiet repetition. what makes the better person ? perhaps the idea is just to convince oneself not to regret their actions. that might just be where PAIN comes in. the white-haired man knows pain like the back of his hand , like the snap of bones. he knows pain made him SOMETHING ; a thing which rains hell on others should his people be bothered. however this still poses unanswered questions : did that pain make HIM better ? and what pain was suppose to better this kid ?
“ hmm ... ” kaneki reigns himself in , but is still unsure of what to say. instead for a moment he takes todoroki’s appearance into hand. a brilliant scar painted over an even brighter eye that stews in silent anger. what pain did this to you ; did pain cause them to do this ? “ pain is ... apart of life though it often is uncalled for. ” a blanket statement. he doesn’t KNOW what pain he endured , besides it being inflicted by another hand. that stirs something horrid within his chest. he’s sure whomever it was ... he’d find it appropriate to tear their limbs off.
he buries it and instead focuses on the tangible body before him : the kid who speaks. “ it isn’t meant to make you a better person , todoroki-kun. pain just ... is : deserved or undeserved. it doesn’t make you shit alone ‘less you allow it to. ” a hand comes up to the nape of his neck , “ sorry ... i won’t begin to imagine what you mean , but ... it’s up to you to be the better person. pain isn’t solely meant for that by itself. ”
