Gideon Shai

Waiter, cat wrangler, just trying not to make horrible life choices. Rp blog. Not affiliated with S. Croft. 

[gideonblake]

“Okaaay, graphic. Am I the only person who kind of assumed that they had the whole body and not like... not the whole body?”

[tellittomykie]

“Everything feels really surreal right now and I’m not sure what to do with myself. This is the kind of shit that happens in horror movies, not to people you know…”

[gideonblake]

"The Harris Report is just being a douchecanoe as usual. He doesn't seem to actually know anything definitive, right??"

[gideonblake]

"Well that explains why my boss has texted me a million times asking how to review security footage. Incidentally, does anyone have a VHS player because I think my boss accidentally set his on fire?"

[kenta-hirano]

“Nothing quite like watching your neighbour get forcefully dragged from his home half naked. I think I could have lived my entire life in peace without seeing that. What’s even happening to this town anymore?” 

[gideonblake]

"My working theory: Mass hallucinations. Or its a publicity scheme. Harris is supposed to be too boring for this."

[gideonblake]

"Just busted some snoops going through the garbage behind the cafe. That was marinara sauce, not blood. And if your blood smells like garlic I think you've got more problems than Warren, I'm just saying."