I'm King of the Shepards!!!

A humorous look at the Psalms - with gifs.

[elphabaoftheopera]

does anyone else have those deep dark musical theatre opinion secrets that you can’t express because if you would probably be attacked?

[march-of-the-falsettos-deactiva]

Confess your theatre sins in the tags

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And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

[stultifyingexperience]

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

[recreationalcannibalism]

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

[nerdofchaos-deactivated20120906]

see you all in hell

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Psalm 91:5

Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night;

nor for the arrow that flieth by day;

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So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

"Do not come any closer"

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Psalms 2:12

Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him.

(note: this will be the default gif for when I have no clue. If you feel like you have a perfect gif for this verse, feel free to let me know.)

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Psalms 2:11

Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling.

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Psalms 2:10

 Be wise now therefore, O ye kings: be instructed, ye judges of the earth.

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Psalms 2:9

Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel.

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Psalms 2:8

Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession.

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Psalm 2:7

I will declare the decree: the Lord hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee.

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Psalms 2:6

Yet have I set my king upon my holy hill of Zion.

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Psalms 2:5

Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure.

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Psalms 2:4

He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.

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Psalms 2:3

Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us.

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Psalms 2:2

The kings of the earth rise up and the rulers band together against the Lord and against his anointed, saying,

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Psalms 2:1

Why do the nations conspire and the peoples plot in vain?

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Psalms 1:6

For the Lord knoweth the way of the righteous:

but the way of the ungodly shall perish.