fade into you.

Gina Crawford. 24. The Blackwood. Psychology student.

[steviemadis]

archives

Stephanie “Stevie” Madison

Gina Crawford

Clarissa Rhodes

Jane Fitzgerald

Dylan Morris

Elliot Lyons

Anita “Nita” Howard

Margaret Johnson

Zeta Reyes

Marcine “Mercy” Day

Benjamin Roy

Sophie Klein

[diazsperalta]

[daily-hundred]

ALYCIA DEBNAM-CAREY – Pizza Hut Lounge Portraits at San Diego Comic Con 2019

[pepper---chase]

baby.spice: met a baby this weekend. a baby who also happens to be my niece. shoutout to karl & brett for getting a cute kid. like this post if me & gina should get one too

[ginacraw]

ginanana commented: don't temp me babe

[nerdishpursuits-deactivated2024]

[ohlexa]

[ginacraw]

pepperchase‌:

Pepper was reaching for Gina as soon as she saw tears appear on her cheeks, but every move she made was too slow, and she was heading inside, walking away, disappearing into the bathroom. “Wait,” She protested, answered by the click of the bathroom door. She wasn’t sure what to do then, and let the front door close behind her, too. Nothing she’d done so far had improved their circumstances– they’d gone from plans for a casual snuggle to Gina running into the bathroom to cry, so– she covered her face with her palms for a moment and exhaled, then slowly walked to the bathroom, standing to the side of the door. “Please– just talk to me. Did I say something?”

“It’s not you.” Gina spoke through the door. She found two mystery pills in a small baggie at the bottom of her backpack and popped one. She flushed the toilet, ran the sink water and cupped some in her hand to drink with the pill. Gina splashed some water on her face. She turned the sink off and wiped her hands and face on the towel. She put her backpack over her shoulder, not ready to go outside and see Pepper. “I’m just under a lot of stress. I’m sorry.”

[pepper---chase]

// you've been stuck in a rut & a wasteland

trust me, you’ll be just fine i need your trust just for tonight this is not a place in my head reach out your hands and tell me just what you feel this is not just all in your head, mind over matter makes these things feel so real

( @ginacraw​ )

[ginacraw]

pepperchase‌:

Pepper followed her to the door, watching quietly as she receded further into herself. She didn’t know how to get her to come back out, come back to her– she was trying, but it didn’t seem to be helping. Hell, she could’ve been making it worse. She started to unlock the door when Gina spoke up again. She looked so fucking– fragile, pulling apart at the seams, threatening to spill– what? She nearly dropped the keys, and her stomach was sinking, too. “What’s– what’s wrong? Something happened. Tell me.”

Gina shook her head, ready to lie to Pepper. But it was too late, Pepper’s words brought ties streaming down her cheeks. “Nothing, I just need to-” She cut herself off, reaching her hand out to finish unlocking the door and barge in. She walked straight to the bathroom and shut the door, quickly but trying not to slam it. Once inside, she dropped her backpack and let herself sob into a towel to muffle the sound. She lifted her head, sucking everything back in, and reached into her bag, moving shit around to see if she had anything other than adderall to calm her down.

[ginacraw]

pepperchase‌:

Pepper was a little disappointed by her response, almost hurt. It wasn’t that she couldn’t take no for an answer or accept that she wasn’t in the mood– but she couldn’t help but wonder if it was something about her that was– unattractive. She pursed her lips slightly when Gina pulled back from her, but turned it into a smile. “Okay. That’ll be nice.” She couldn’t help but notice she suggested having Pepper’s friends at the party, as if she didn’t have any of her own. It was hard to watch her isolate herself, seem so unhappy, especially when Pepper herself had been so much better as of late. “It’ll be great. We’ll be starting a– new chapter.” She wasn’t sure she believed her last words: she felt as if she’d been pretty useless when it came to Gina’s education. She never knew how to help, and right now, that was as clear as ever. “Give yourself some credit, babe. I’m just here for moral support. Speaking of which– are you hungry? I can make you dinner.”

The elevator doors opened and Gina walked out, she was holding on by a thin fucking thread and really just wanted to get inside so she could excuse herself to the bathroom and let herself cry in private for a quick moment. She felt so bad, so guilty, she could tell she was hurting Pepper, she knew her behavior was so different from what Pepper was used to and deserved. “Yeah, yeah. I’d love something to eat.” At the reminder of food, her stomach rumbled. She stared at their front door, emotionless. “I have to,” she paused to suck in, hold in her tears. “I have a stomach ache.”

[ginacraw]

pepperchase‌:

Pepper was a little surprised by her sudden almost-vulnerability, and put an arm around her waist, kissed the top of her head. “Yeah. Of course.” She hated that Gina seemed to feel like they had such limited time together, that they could only cuddle before she had to write a paper, that she could rarely make it to her coffee shop ‘shows’ because of other commitments. It was all or nothing. She wished she could help her find a better balance, but– she didn’t want to get in the way, keep her from achieving something. She was actually getting an education– Pepper wasn’t about to ruin that for her. Just because she was willing to work hard didn’t mean she wasn’t happy, right? “Maybe I could give you a massage, or something. I think we still have some of that oil,” She smiled, bumped her hip lightly. She nodded slowly– there it was again. She didn’t seem to want to let herself have anything yet. “Okay, sure. I’ll open the shop for you after hours, we can have our own tattoo party.” She nodded, a little surprised, though she was more than aware of how hard she’d been pushing herself. “Seems like you just started. I swear time’s going faster these days.”

Gina wasn’t feeling very sexy lately, she felt dirty for harbouring a secret from Pepper, and she was tired. Her hygiene was okay, but not optimal. So the idea of Pepper bringing out oil for a massage made her uncomfortable. “You don’t have to do that, I just want to lie with you.” She pulled away from the hug, not wanting to cling too hard to Pepper. “That would be really cool. We can invite some of your friends to watch.” She nodded. Time was moving quickly, and it was scary how she and Pepper were still together. She worried about Pepper growing apart from her, but it seemed like Gina was the one giving the push. “I couldn’t have done any of it without you.”

[ginacraw]

pepperchase‌:

“Oh, I’m sure. If people are really good at anything, it’s destroying the only planet we can actually live on,” Pepper said with a facetious thumbs-up and smile. She nodded, wishing she knew what to say or do– maybe she’d offer to help with the workload somehow, but if Gina was having trouble with it, there was no way she’d figure it out. She hadn’t allowed herself to be challenged intellectually since being hospitalized halfway through senior year of high school, for whatever reason– maybe she didn’t want to disappoint herself, get her own hopes up and discover she actually was a dumbass– that was something she hadn’t confronted so far. “i’m sure. Is it, like, math-science shit or just– deep subconscious shit? Like why people destroy the only planet they can live on?” She flashed another smile. Maybe she could at least lift her spirits a little. She was surprised by her question, and raised her eyebrows. “When am I gonna tattoo you?” She repeated. “You know I’ve been trying to forever, right? I’ll clear my whole fucking schedule. Whenever you’re ready.” She pulled her hair over one shoulder to reveal the sun at the top of her spine, though she was sure Gina knew right where it was. “We can match.”

Gina leaned into Pepper, she was so exhausted and she just wanted to be held. “Can we cuddle upstairs for a few minutes before I have to write a paper?” She didn’t know how she could ever tell Pepper that she was using a little again. It wasn’t anything hard like before, just weed and adderall. She went back on her sobriety, and was already disappointed enough in herself, she didn’t want to see that on Pepper’s face too. She decided she’d just get through school and then get cleaned up again, and Pepper wouldn’t have to know. She kept her pills in a bottle of ibuprofen in her backpack, something Pepper would never have to go through. Gina was so convinced Pepper wouldn’t find out unless she said something to her. “We can do it as a graduation present when I’m done. I’m all set for my bachelor's degree this December if I don’t fail any classes.” Nonstop school, enrolling in classes during her summer and winter breaks, going above the recommended course load each semester, she was almost done.

[ginacraw]

pepperchase‌:

Pepper couldn’t refrain from taking just one deep breath– a little longingly– but a quick hit from the JUUL, out of Gina’s sight, would take care of it and she’d be able to banish the smell from her brain for a while. “I saw like, four cigarettes crushed on the sidewalk just coming from the store. That’s the worst part, to me.” She pursed her lips slightly as she opened the door to the building, taking note of her silence. It’s fine. That was all she ever seemed to get on that topic. “Did you– learn anything cool?” Jesus, she sounded like Tess. Desperate and annoying, but not actually addressing the questions below the surface, the questions that needed to be asked. “Good. Pierced a lip, did a couple tats. Got a really annoying song stuck in my head. I don’t even know what it is, it just came on the Spotify they had connected to the stereo thing.” The less Gina talked, the more she wanted to fill the silence with meaningless shit. She finally swallowed the rest of the word vomit as she pressed the button for the elevator.

“Their impact on the environment is pretty disgusting. I saw a video on Facebook about it.” Gina walked inside. “Yeah, I am. It’s just a lot of information at once. Hard to keep up sometimes, you know.” She found herself holding onto Pepper’s arm as they walked, she wanted to be close to Pepper. She felt like she’d been so busy lately that they haven’t really connected in a while. “When are you going to tattoo me? I want like a little sun on my ribcage.”

[ginacraw]

pepperchase‌:

Pepper had stopped on the way back from work to pick up a package of JUUL pods, some coconutmilk coffee creamer, and a couple of face masks to do with Gina. She smiled as she saw her standing outside– perfect timing– reaching into her bag, but slowed her pace as she seemed to hesitate for a few moments. When she approached, she flashed her key with a smirk. “I got it. You know, they usually put little pockets in backpacks so you don’t lose your shit in the abyss of the main compartment.” She tried to ignore the cigarette, as this wasn’t an ideal time to pull out the tiny vaporizer. “How was school?”

Gina looked up to her, surprised. She couldn’t avoid smiling, even though she still felt like she was just caught doing something wrong. She waved the air from her face, as if to shoo the cigarette scent. “Thanks. It’s gross out here.” When the question of school came up, she paused. She didn’t want to talk about it, knew that Pepper would be disappointed in her going back on her drug usage despite her grades being good. “It’s fine. How’s work?” Part of her wanted to go inside and cry to her wife but she had chapters to read. Summer classes went faster, they exhausted her more.

[ginacraw]

[alyciajdebnamcarey]

[alyciajdebnamcarey]