1) “Just so you know, I don’t like you.” “Yeah, well, I’m not paying you to like me. I’m paying you to laugh at my jokes and cling to me like a magnet so my ex doesn’t think I miss them.”
2) “Can you at least pretend you think I’m funny?” “That costs extra.”
3) “Oh shit, they’re coming this way. Kiss me, kiss me right now!” “Yeah, okay.”
4) “If you ever kiss me like that again-” “Shut up, you liked it, you opened your mouth for tongue.” “I did not!” “Then why’d you lick mine when I stuck it in your mouth?” “Just don’t kiss me, alright?”
5) “Careful, it’s sounding like you’re dangerously close to caring about them.”
6) “You know, if I didn’t know better I’d say you’re in love.” “I don’t love anyone.” “But they’re not just anyone, are they?”
7) “This was all fake, this was just supposed to be fake you weren’t supposed to tell me you love me!” “And you weren’t supposed to say it back!”
8) “Did you mean what you said in there?” “No. Obviously. Did you mean what you said in there?” “No. Obviously. I was just talking you up in front of your ex, you know? Just showing them what they’re missing.” “Right.”
9) “They’re coming, kiss me.” “Ew, no, you just had funyuns.” “Do it!” “Fine!”
10) “We’re going to have to kiss in front of them so maybe we should practice.” “Yeah, just so we can find out what we need to do when they see us.” “Exactly, just want to make it more passionate.”
11) “That was a good practice kiss. Should we…practice sleeping together too?” “No!” “Right! Yeah, no, I was kidding.” “…” “Totally kidding.”
12) “God, one bed?” “The company does want us to pose as a couple.” “Whatever, get us more pillows put a line of them down the center, I’m not sleeping in the floor and neither are you.” “I’ll call room service.”
13) “They’ll be in here in a second. Get naked.” “What? You didn’t say anything about getting naked!” “Just take off some of your clothes, I want them to think we’re doing it!”
14) “I can’t believe I have to pretend to like you. I hate you so much and when this is over I am going to ki-” “My ex is coming.” “Kiss you because you’re just so irresistible when you smile at me like that.” “Aww, baby, you’re so sweet.” “Haha, careful, too much sweet’ll kill you.”
15) “You’re not thinking about getting back together with them are you?” “No! No…of course not.” “You are.”
16) “I guess it’s time for us to part ways.” “We don’t have to…do we? I mean we’re already on this trip, might as well make the most of it.”
17) “If they think you and I are together they’ll both be furious.” “You want us to pretend we’re dating?” “Why not?” “Because you hate me.” “I don’t hate you.” “You don’t like me.” “Okay, I don’t like you. Doesn’t mean I can’t pretend to like you.”
18) “Your ex is a piece of shit and I know I said I wasn’t down to make them jealous but I change my mind.” “What?” “I’m gonna kiss you and push you up against that wall in front of them. If you’re not into that tell me now.” “Well, what are you waiting for?”
19) “Come on, you’re not really in love with Person A, are you? You’re just using them to make me jealous.” “I’d appreciate it if you took your hands of my girlfriend/boyfriend.” “Cute, you’ve really got Person B playing the part, don’t you?” “I’m not playing a part. And if you don’t let them go my fist will let you know how much I’m not playing any part.” “You’re seriously with them?!”
20) “They can’t give you what I can. I’ve got money and cars. I could take care of you. But them? They’ve got nothing, they’re just a nobody, baby. You’re a somebody. You deserve to be with another somebody like you. If you stick with them you’ll just be a nobody.” “I’d rather be nobody with them than a somebody with you.”
1) A had a bad break up with B but when they remember that B’s got a jealous streak they find C to help them out. C used to be friends with A, and B hated C when they were around A. When A suggests a price or something C insists they wanna do it for free to piss B off since B got them expelled from high school or something for something they did. When B sees C around A they’re distracted and can’t focus around their new partner. But when C’s picking up A and kissing them against a wall B gets more than just distracted and A remembers a previous kiss they had as kids and think they might’ve been together if B hadn’t got C expelled.
2) A’s a thief who gets bailed out by a person B, the ex boyfriend/girlfriend of the person they tried to rob before they got arrested, Person B tells them they’ll pay bail and more if they help them make their ex jealous so they’ll take them back. A agrees and they go out a few times but their ex, Person C, doesn’t seem to be interested in getting them back at all. Person B pays A anyway and tells them they’re just going to go home. Person A tells them no and comes up with a plan. A then successfully robs them and plants the items on Person C’s new arm candy. They continue to do that with each new person until C decides the only person they can trust is Person B. When B and C get back together B’s happy but A realizes C doesn’t treat B right. After watching them tear B down after a bad day A decides to steal one last thing from C, Person B. Person B is hesitant to leave because they’ve been wanting C back for so long, but when A promises a lot of things B doesn’t want to leave. B doesn’t leave until A admits their feelings in front of B and C.
3) A makes the mistake of falling for Person B, someone who only wants what they can’t have. Even though B likes a lot they just wont as them out. A asks C to help make them more desirable to Person B. C thinks that’s a stupid idea and requests money or a big favor for it. A agrees and they start going out, earning B’s attention. A tells B that C’s just perfect and that they’re happy together. This does nothing but drive B crazy and make them want A more. Person B finally asks them out telling them to leave C. A agrees and C tells them they can’t believe they wanted to be with a person like that since they deserve better. A thinks about C more and eventually B finds it hard to be tied down to anyone. A dumps them and tells them they will never have them again, which has B back to being into A. A finds C and C’s drinking by themselves asking if they can date them a little longer. C tells them they’re done faking it and A tells them they’re tired of faking it, earning a smile from C.
4) A and B are sworn enemies but when the loves of their lives are dating each other they decide to date to make them jealous. C and D are having a nice dinner when A and B sit down a few tables away they immediately come over and tell them they know what they’re trying to do and that they’re not even into each other so they should stop trying. But A kisses B passionately and B kisses back until B’s in A’s lap and C and D are like ‘We get it.’ They still don’t believe them but A and B try to have a nice dinner, complaining about the kiss quietly while they have smiles on their faces. When B finds out they’re going back to D’s place they tell A their apartment is right above theirs. When they leave A and B go back to B’s place and hear them talking about them through the floor. B suggests they fake having sex and A tells them that’s a good idea. They fake sex over the spot they’re talking and make up dialogue. C and D still don’t believe they’re together and talk about going up the fire escape to see them just sitting around on the bed. A tells B they need to take their clothes off, which they do super fast as they mess up each other’s hair. C and D catch them in a compromising position and they both fake embarrassment when they see C and D just standing at the window. This does make C and D jealous and A and B acknowledge they’re a good team and they have a moment that they can’t stop thinking about when they’re back with their ex’s.
5) When A’s family can’t stop talking about how B’s doing way better than A and that B already has potential boyfriends/girlfriends, A impulsively tells their family that they’ve got a boyfriend/girlfriend already. They don’t believe A at all and A promises that they’ll bring them to [insert big event here]. A panics and calls C, the most respectable person they know and tells them the whole situation and asks them to pretend to be married to them and then after the event they can 'break up.’ C agrees and since they already know everything about each other they don’t even lie about how they know each other. A’s family is impressed and B can’t believe A could get someone so handsome/pretty who’s also so classy. When A’s family put A down in front of C, C informs them of A’s accomplishments and how great they are. C excuses themselves and after a while the family is wondering where C went and suggest maybe they left because they realized A wasn’t as good as they seemed and that they were just being polite. C comes back in, sweaty and out of breath and proposes to A on the spot, leaving B and the rest of the family speechless. A immediately says yes.
6) When A and B break up before they’re supposed to go on a couples cruise A offers to give the tickets to C and whoever C’s sleeping with at the time. C feels bad and tells them they wanna go with them and the two end up pretending to be together to mess with the other passengers, thinking it’s hilarious. But somewhere along the road of fake dating they realize they like being this close to each other and they like spending time together. They end up sharing a kiss while in front of the other passengers to prove they’re close but end up thinking the other person isn’t feeling the way they do. They realize they’re in love by the time they get home and when C’s about to admit their feelings B shows up at the dock to apologize to A and beg for them back.
7) A and B are crime partners but when they decide to complete a bigger job with the help of their friends they’re sent to play a married couple. Since they work well together it’s easy and soon they even begin acting more like a couple when it’s just them and their team. Eventually they’re forced to share a guest room at one of their target’s houses and it only has one bed. They find themselves moving closer until they’re holding each other. This inevitably ends with them asking each other the question 'What are we?’
8) When A and B break up A is quick to get with someone else but B takes it pretty rough. When B sees A with C they manage to find D and ask them to pretend to be with them just for one date. D agrees, not really that interested until A and C show up and A laugh telling B that Person D is the worst person to be with because they’re always sleeping around and don’t know how to keep it in their pants. Person D is pissed off by this and decides that they’re going to fake with with B even longer and convince A that they can make a relationship work. Anytime A is around when B and D are together D is extra affectionate and nice and even thought B knows it’s all for show they can’t help but fall for them. When B confesses their feelings D doesn’t know how to react.
9) A is a professor with a student who’s obsessed with them, Person B. When B gets increasingly more desperate for their attention A confesses they’re seeing someone and convince their friend, and boss, person C to pretend to be with them. This upsets B but they tell A they’ll just have to wait until C slips up so they can have their chance at them. C is annoyed they have to keep up this charade and that B is watching them to make sure they don’t 'cheat’ on A since they’re known to sleep around. A apologizes and they soon end up spending more and more time together until they start feeling things for each other. When B meets someone else, Person D their obsession with A disappears and they become head over heels for D. A and C realize they don’t have to date anymore but find themselves unwilling to stop what they have so they decide to just go on a real date to see if they like it. (The obsession part is meant to be more head over heels, struck by cupid kind of 'in love.’ Not like the scary/creepy/stalkery kind of 'love.’ But it’s up to you on how you wanna write it.)
10) A and B agree to pretend to be a couple to earn a lot of money by playing a 'How well do you know your partner’ kind of game. The winner gets money or a big prize and so A and B spend the whole week asking each other newlywed partner games and everything and basic questions someone would be asked. Over the week they grow close and when they win they celebrate with a trip, now bonding over their earnings they go to a place the other would love and A realizes they like B a lot more than they thought. While they’re talking B realizes they feel the same way but before they can kiss A’s ex, Person C, pops up out of nowhere and brings up some old feelings. Bonus if Person C is B’s best friend and so their feelings make things more complicated, especially if Person C is talking to A about getting back together.
theartofmadeline
germansingergirl
2087
jbbartram-illu
turnnoffyourmind
ellievsbear
