layl

23 | any pronouns | a place to put my writing in hopes that it reaches someone

[theegosystem-deactivated2024012]

the worst is wanting to create and create and create but being trapped in a body that is so so so so tired

[girltoe]

i had a dream about you last night,

three of us rigid in a run-down

diner booth. i sat a mile and a half

away beside you and pretended

it didn’t hurt. you sat a mile and a half

away beside me, a gavel held

limply in the tips of your fingers.

you ignored me until, for some reason,

you didn’t. until you could

look at my face and give me

a mona lisa smile that whispered,

maybe things can be good again.

and i knew the six-year-old sorries

that lay bitter on my tongue

would have to wait a little longer,

but at least i could offer you

patience.

and then i woke up, and i realized

i hadn’t thought of you in months.

[girltoe]

i pick strands of your hair from my clothes

and smile, warmed that you are

near enough to leave them

[girltoe]

to stay soft, to stay loving, is inherently painful

but to harden is to become inhuman

so i relinquish my heart and her safety

and only hope someone will be kind enough

to tend her wounds