if i look back, i am lost
blake kathryn
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Misplaced Lens Cap
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@givemeallyourquarters
4 29 19
I went out today to finally see the river and it was totally worth it. I want to go back and do it again.
I was so happy to share the moment with you. I was so happy to send you photos and describe how I felt to you. I wanted to tell you everything. Sorry I made you my texting victim.
Who else would I tell? I love you. I really love you.
5&6?
5- 4 turn on's
- beef jerky
- head rubs
- being called a good girl
- forehead kisses
6- 4 turn off's
- not bathing
- not being yourself
- not being respectful
- lack of confidence
April 21, 2019
After all this time
It still feels like the first time
That is really magical
I love you with all my heart
All I can do now is hope that you love me too
Hope that your feelings for me never change
Hope that you are forever true
Yet again another day has passed that all I desire is to be with you in your arms.
Dreaming
Yesterday and today I realized something. Really absorbed and realized it. Guess what? I learned from it. I would not be making that mistake again. I would not be that person again. I would not be that dumb. I could not possibly be that dumb. I will not be that dumb.
I will not be a strangers fool again.
Releasing these emotions from myself. Freeing my mind yet again. Focusing on what really matters. The only thing that matters. The only sure thing I will ever always and really have for the rest of my life til the day I die whether I like it or not...
Myself
Thank you.
I loved today. I loved the way your face lit up and your mood was picked up all because I brought some jam. Jam and packed some wheat bread for you.
Your eyes went sparkly and your smile so beautiful. The kind of expression you make that melts me. That is what I strive for. I want to see that smile. I want to make you happy all the time. I want to be what you want.
Your happiness is my happiness. It makes me feel good when you feel good. Ily
I can not sleep because thoughts of you keep me awake. Lovely thoughts. I can not wait to be in your arms again. You make me so very happy. Things do not seem impossible with you around. You are so delightful. Hope to hold you again soon.
Today we had spent all day talking
Sharing our thoughts and pouring ourselves out
We asked questions and made jokes
After all that time spent together
We could not help it
We sat in a parking lot and continued
It was very pleasant, I loved every minute of it
Pleasure was exchanged gracefully
I adore you whole heartedly
You are amazing in each and everyway
I could not have imagined a better way to start the year
I love you Babycakes
It does not matter what I am doing
I always wonder if you are ok. I always wonder if you are having a good time. I always wonder if you are thinking of me too.
.
You began with the usual tv watching. Then it was clamps and pats. The clamps were not going anywhere as you tugged on them at your leisure. I was at your service. Down to the knitty gritty. Over to the other side. I was prepped and ready. The spanks were firm and swift. No time wasted. Each contact was stinging more than the last. For a moment I swear I didnt even feel the pain anymore. In the end you were satisfied. Content.
Yesterday you did as you said. It was time for me to accept my punishment. I had done two things to really upset you.
We grabbed a burger. We sat down together. We spoke. Then it was time for you to go. I really hate saying goodbye. You told me those 3 little words. We hugged and kissed. I meant it when I said I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed every single part of it. Every minute. Something about it was laced with deep rooted care. I really did enjoy it. I hope you enjoyed it too. I hope that you think I did a good job.
I really love your company.
I really wish I had your company all the time.
I understand it's going to take time to rebuild trust. I really feel remorse for lying to you from the bottom of my heart. There is no excuse or justification it was a poor decision on my part. I own that.
I love you. I want to do what it would take it make it better. I want to put in the work to ease your mind again. I would answer your questions as many times as you need me to. I am grateful you are open enough to consider trying. I understand it will take time and I need to be patient. I will wait for you no matter how long. I will continue to do my part to strive in being open and honest with our communication. I will improve myself.
I go to bed at night wishing I had you.
I get up in the morning wishing I had you.
I go about my day hoping to spend more time with you.
Repeat. A vicious cycle.
In the beginning I used to worry if I thought about you too much. If I was being obsessive. If I was thinking about you more than you were thinking about me.
I realized two things...
1- it makes me really happy to think about you all the time
2- there is no such thing as thinking about you too much
Please hold me in your arms. Keep me warm. Remind me how much you love me. Tell me. Show me. Any time with you is a great time. I am so grateful to have you. Those are the moments I wish would never end. Let me love you. Let me listen to your stories. Let me run my hands across every single inch of your body. Let me relax you. Let me clear your mind and take away your worries. Please allow me to be yours forever.
There are days when I want to tell you how much I love you. It's as if it builds up inside of me and I want to pour it all out. Pour it out all over you.
I want to let you know how pretty you are. How much I value the time we spend together. How I enjoy every conversation. I intently listen to your opinion and point of view. I want to tell you that I love when your eyes sparkle when you look at me. Then comes that endearing smile followed by a chuckle or burst of laughter. It makes me feel so comfortable. Completely at ease.
I wish I had you all the time and everyday non stop. To experience that warmth and joy over and over again would be the ultimate. It most certainly would be great. I love you!