How to become massive
This will be a quick overview over how to become massive. This will be a rather scientific approach on how to increase white adipose tissue growth (i.e., fat gain), slow down metabolism and decrease muscle gain.
The 10 commandments:
1. Have a high-carb and low-protein breakfast. This will keep you hungry during the day.
2. Don't have breakfast within the first hour after waking, so your body will be more likely to store energy in the form of fat.
3. Try to build the majority of your diet on carbs. Carbs are highly likely to turn into fat, while proteins and fats are less likely. This is because they trigger a different hormonal response
4. Don't consume too much garlic, caffeine, green tea and spinach, since they contain nutrients that will increase fat burn
5. Fruits are fine, they can actually help you gain weight because of insoline spikes
6. Rest 15-30 minutes before eating. This is so your muscle cells close and don't absorb/burn much of the energy
7. Don't shower or bathe cold, don't swim regularly and put on warm clothes during winter. Cold exposure not only burns a lot of calories, your body will actually form brown fat tissue, which is a kind of fat designed to burn fat for warmth
8. Dig into dairy products and white grains (e.g., wheat-products) for an increase in fat gain
9. Have 2-3 high-calorie meals during the day and add snacks in-between as you wish.
10. Sweetness is your friend, no matter if sugar or artificial sweeteners
Following these 10 commandments will make it almost impossible to not gain weight. Combine this with a lot of stuffing and a high caloric excess (e.g., eating 5000+ calories per day) and you will presumably be putting on several pounds per week.
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