🌼

[incorrectshakespeare]

act I, scene IV

Romeo: What's upsetting you?

Benvolio: He's always using common phrases wrong!

Mercutio: Oh, cry me a table, Benvolio.

[its-hp-bitch]

Hermione: Not everyone is going to think that S.P.E.W is necessary, and that’s okay!

Hermione: …

Hermione: They’re wrong, though.

[amby-chan]

[charlesfoster0ffdensen-blog]

Imagine that one day the whole world would look like this.

[platypus-in-a-bottle-deactivate]

fucking nature can’t learn to stop

[reallymadscientist]

Reblogging this to give you all a link to Life After People, a really good docu-series about what would happen to the planet if everyone died, complete with accurate scientific breakdowns. 

[m-studios-blog]

It looks nice

[its-hp-bitch]

McGonagall: What do you call sabotage and vandalism?

Fred: A hobby.

McGonagall: [silence]

George: ...that we do not engage in.

[incorrectshakespeare]

Iago: I never brag.

Othello: Iago, you once called your face "proof of God's existence."

[incorrectshakespeare]

Iago: Shh. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of forgiveness.

Othello: That’s the sound of people dying, Iago.

Iago: That is what forgiveness sounds like; screaming and then silence.

[whatareyoureallyafraidof]

[incorrectshakespeare]

act V scene II

iago: hoe don’t do it emilia: *spills everything about iago’s lies about desdemona and calls him a villain* iago: oh my god

[incorrectshakespeare]

act II, scene VI

Romeo: Do you know where I could get one of those gold T-shaped pendants?

Friar Laurence: That's a cross.

Romeo: Across from where?

[incorrectshakespeare]

Hamlet: We’ll be using code names from now on. I’ll be "Eagle One". Ophelia, you’re "Been There, Done That". Horatio, you’re "Currently Doing That". Laertes, you’re

"It Happened Once In A Dream". Rosencrantz, you’re "If I Had To Pick A Bro". Fortinbras, you’re "Eagle Two".

Fortinbras: Oh, thank God.

[goddessanjuli]

Parks and rec + Shakespeare = my fav thing

[incorrectshakespeare]

act V, scene I

Hamlet: can you tuck me in

Horatio: ??? You handed me a shovel

Hamlet: yeah just spread the dirt over me as evenly as you can thanks

[incorrectshakespeare]

hamlet: hey do you have any wrongdog with you?

horatio: what’s wrongdog?

hamlet: everything thanks for asking

[incorrectshakespeare]

claudius: do you want to talk about what's happening right now

gertrude: maybe when i die

gertrude: *chugs an entire bottle of wine without breaking eye contact*

gertrude: should be soon

[incorrectshakespeare]

act I, scene II

Claudius: My dreams were shattered years ago.

Hamlet: How many years ago?

Claudius: How old are you again?

[incorrectshakespeare]

Borachio: do you accept constructive criticism on your plans?

Don John: no.

Borachio: they suck

[incorrectshakespeare]

act IV, scene I

Benedick: You like me? You like my personality?

Beatrice: I was surprised too.

[incorrectshakespeare]

act I, scene VII

Lady Macbeth: Ready to kill the king?

Macbeth: No, but you won't let that stop you.