GODSPEED

what you cannot catch, you cannot fight & have you ever tried to battle against the speed of light?

[godsqeed-archive]

revamping and actually bringing back this muse maybe! find me here: click (work in progress)

[godsqeed-archive]

revamping and actually bringing back this muse maybe! find me here: click (work in progress)

[godsqeed-archive]

somehow came across this blog again and just wanted to drop a message to say i really miss you, even though idk if you'll ever even see this :')

( this is the absolute sweetest thing i have heard in a while, and tumblr really decided not to send me a notification for it. :’)) whoever you are, please, feel free to shoot me a message whenever! i do check this blog from time to time still, and i would love to get back in touch. :( hope you’re doing alright & that you might still see this message despite it being a month overdue. ♡

[godsqeed-archive]

if anyone is still here and active, plz show urself or send me ur new blog so i can follow once i make my new muse!! 

[godsqeed-archive]

( oh man...... i kinda wanna bring back this muse... maybe. maybe not. how many times have i said this already? )

[godsqeed-archive]

continued from here ( @baudellare )

funny, isn’t it? at first glance, the two of them could not be any more different. her, the classy yet cautious ballerina. the girl full of ambitions, and the talent to reach the stars. him, who is always looking for a thrill; chasing after death. reckless and without any kind of direction in his life. had fate not brought them together all those years ago, he was sure they would have never connected. and yet here they are (and at what cost). 

but as different as they are, they are also alike. two lost souls with their heads in the clouds and their minds full of problems. had they never met, casper is certain that her life would have been a lot easier. a lot more boring too, perhaps, but definitely a lot easier. to him, “boring” had always been one of the dirtiest words in the universe. no matter what the cost, the demigod would never settle for boring. but alas, this was not his life they were speaking of, and perhaps he should have known better but to ask her in the first place. 

but in spite of it all, he smiles. too tired to throw in yet another snarky remark. too tired to fool around. a glimpse of pain in his eyes; gone as soon as it had come. he deserved all of this and so much worse. it isn’t self-pity, it is the truth. the scariest part, however, is that it barely even gets to him. a dangerous combination for someone like him; one who is reckless should at least have some kind of fear to stop him from pushing too far (but not casper, not anymore). 

their hands touch, and the smile fades. it’s ironic how the simple gesture only has him feeling far, far more distant from her than before. these are feelings that he is not familiar with (if they can still be called that: feelings). truth is, he is more numb than anything. there is no use in answering her question. it won’t do anything for him. for her. at most, she could feel victorious. this was, after all, a battle that casper had lost.

but really; he couldn’t care less. 

and so he answers honestly. 

‘i never have any regrets. regrets are nothing but a waste of time. so no, i do not regret letting myself get close to you.’ if anything, haneul had been a gift. she had always given him second chances, even though he never took them on. always been by his side, even when he went off running again. always let him back in, even when he could barely stand on his feet and reeked of alcohol. she had been wonderful, and he had not deserved her. the least he could do is tell her that. tell her, and go. because that is the only thing left to do: to run. 

‘take care, haneul-ah.’ and with those words, he disappears.

[godsqeed-archive]

continued from here ( @baudellare )

here’s the thing about casper wang: nobody really understands the twisted ways in which his mind works. how he needs someone to stay by his side, but how he disappears just as easily. how he can leave without a trace, and come back without shame. without as much as a single explanation, or even the slightest bit of remorse. 

in his life, people come and go. he is very similar. care not about the world that doesn’t care about you, it’s really just that simple. his whole existence had been destined the moment hermes decided he couldn’t control his urges any longer. the deity had been gone before casper had been born into this world, and thus set the bar of his trust very, very low. 

and so, casper too, comes and goes as he pleases.

of course, this does not always go without consequences. good for the demigod, he has grown blind to the bigger part of those. as long as one keeps running, they will never really have to face it all--and that’s all he’s ever done. all he’s ever known. how to keep running. nobody ever told him he might come to regret it all. that there would be a day where his heart would feel so heavy, running would not be an option anymore. who could possible run with a burden as massive as the one he was carrying? it’s been slowing him down bit by bit. gradually, his feet started to stop moving as easily as they had always done, until he finally came to a halt. this is how an era ends. the era of casper wang, the invincible. 

it’s pathetic. irreversible. exactly what he deserved; what he had coming all along.

and yet he finds himself desperately staring at his screen, his heart skipping a beat when it finally lights up. his lips slowly curve into a smile. it’s about as honest a smile as his heart’s feelings are, but the messages are by far more than he had expected. a cruel message is still better than none, he tells himself, because he knows better than to wail in pity. because he knows son haneul, and he wouldn’t have deemed it beyond her to delete his messages without a second thought. it’s what she should have done. now she, too, has to deal with the consequences.

( text ) how can there be a world without me in it?  ㅋ

his feeble attempts at fooling around are not what they used to be, and perhaps that’s for the better. for once, all he wants is to talk to her. to listen to her words, her voice (but let’s be real, she’d never agree to meet up with him, would she?)

( text ) and you didn’t answer the question. i wasn’t part of the question. have i been that significant in your world? is my presence really that important? 

but alas, subtlety has never been his forte. it had been funny once; now, it probably was anything but. 

he falls silent then, slender digits clenching the phone until the color is drained from them. minutes pass. minutes that seem to last for hours and in which he carefully (not) considers the words he writes down next. 

( text ) can i come over?

[godsqeed-archive]

1ST RULE: tag 9 muses you would like to know better. 2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true for your muse.

MUSE: Casper Wang FC: Nam Taehyun OCCUPATION: Mercenary (though seems to be rather jobless nowadays)  AGE: 25 SEXUALITY:  bisexual PRONOUNS: he / him

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair/kind of

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship

I have a crush on feelings for a celebrity

I have feelings for someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily  

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I had have feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have break-danced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages

Tagged by: @etheneos Tagging: i don't know who's active anymore, but feel free to consider yourself tagged 

[godsqeed-archive]

@eterneli​

It is a fleeting moment in spectrum in which they congregate, in which rather than colliding two opposite minds converge. And never mind the brazen portrait painted across the latter’s semblance because for once, even for the first time he dares to say, Baekhyun wholeheartedly agrees. Heroes is a concept far from what they stand to be, no shame to be taken it in when he holds it as a trophy, however the window the statement opens along with it is perhaps what he has been waiting for – to poke and prod at a specific wound.

“For once you are right.”

Fingers dance along the rim of a whiskey glass in an idle motion as hazel hues avert from the lit up city below to the figure standing by his side, an elbow resting over the parapet so his figure may turn just enough to settle in a comfortable position. And as the pianist makes out the other’s silhouette he is reminded of the push and pull of their relationship, the depthless hole in which they fall over and over again to find nothingness, yet a nothingness that fills the same voids they carry and shape into hatred, sometimes irony or arrogance just the same.

But there is also a thirst – not for blood or for pain, but for darkness, the licentious essence of the other side they are all too familiar with.

He is sure they share it for looking at Casper is similar to looking at a mirror, save for the few broken fragments that make them unique. So it is almost wicked how the edges of his lips rise, bound to form a virulent curvature as words fall in disdain, spitting arrows coated in venom that he knows the taller shall absorb with ease and yet it never fails to extract some sort of amusing refute. 

“You wouldn’t be able to save anyone. You couldn’t even save yourself.”

(Neither could I, but that’s another story.)

It's been a while since Casper had been able to stop running; from anything, really. From his enemies, from his problems, hell, even from himself. Yet there he was, calmer than anyone would be likely to remember. It is not often that the demigod does not seek for trouble or some other form of excitement. And yet, while his legs are dangling freely into the dangerous heights of the world, it almost seems as if he had never been a nuisance to begin with. It's exactly this behaviour that should be ringing all different kinds of alarm bells. A quiet Casper is either a dangerous Casper, or a broken one. At this point, who could tell? The guy is a ticking time bomb, waiting patiently for that one little thing that's going to push him over the edge--in whatever direction that might be. 

The most terrifying detail? He is sober. Why? Only the gods may know. The last year had passed in a whiff, and perhaps this was the only way to catch up with it. With all that had happened, and all that had been lost. Baekhyun makes it oh-so easy to throw in a witty comment or too; makes it so easy to fall back into his old patterns. But he doesn't. He's distracted; doesn't even know why he is still sitting with the elder. In a way, he guesses, it is soothing. Calming--but only this once. 

‘Who said anything about saving myself? Nothing could ever possibly harm me; yourself included.’ These words are as much like his old self as it will get. They still ring with that same old cockiness he would always bask around in, but his expression doesn't quite follow up. ‘Heroes are just as overrated as vampires, anyways.’ And there you have it. No matter how far gone, Casper wouldn't be Casper if he didn't at least throw out an insult or two. After all, these comments had always been part of his core. 

[godsqeed-archive]

CHARACTER STATS.

(bold all that applies. italicize leaning. strike former)

WEALTH  —

$   financial.  //  wealthy  / moderate / poor /  in poverty ✚  medical.  //  fit  /  moderate  /  unfit  /  sickly /  disadvantaged  /  disabled  /  not applicable ✪  class.  //  upper  / middle-working /  poor  /  slave  /  unsure ✔  education.  //  qualified /  unqualified  / studying /  other  /  none ✖  criminal record.  //  yes, for major crimes  / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but has not been caught yet

FAMILY  —

◒  children.  // has one or more children / has no children / wants children ◑  relationship with family.  // close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no sibling(s) / siblings are deceased ◔  affiliation.  //   orphaned  /  adopted  / disowned (runaway) / raised by birth parent(s) /  not applicable

TRAITS  +  TENDENCIES  —

♦  extrovert //  introvert  // in between ♦  disorganized //  organized  // in between ♦  close-minded  //  open-minded //  in between ♦  calm // anxious // in between ♦ disagreeable //  agreeable  // in between ♦ cautious // reckless (!!!!!) // in between ♦  patient //  impatient  // in between ♦  outspoken //  reserved  //  in between ♦  leader //  follower  // in between ♦  empathetic  //  indifferent  // in between ♦  optimistic  //  pessimistic  // in between ♦  traditional  // modern  // in between ♦ hardworking  //  lazy  // in between ♦  cultured  //  uncultured  // in between ♦  loyal  //  disloyal  // in between ♦  faithful // unfaithful  // in between

BELIEFS  —

★  faith.  //  monotheist  / polytheist  / atheist  / agnostic / it’s complicated / N/A ☆  belief in ghosts or spirits.  // yes /  no / don’t know / don’t care ✮  belief in an afterlife.  //  yes  / no  / don’t know / don’t care / it’s complicated ✯  belief in reincarnation.  // yes  /  no /  don’t know  / don’t care / it’s complicated ❃  belief in aliens.  // yes  / no  /  don’t know / don’t care ❀  philosophical.  //  yes  / no  /  sometimes

SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION  —

♦  sexuality.  /  heterosexual  /  homosexual  / bisexual /  asexual  / pansexual /  demisexual  / questioning ❥  sex.  //  sex repulsed  / sex neutral / sex favorable ♥  romance.  //  romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable ❣  sexually.  // adventurous  /  experienced /  naive  /  inexperienced  /  curious  /  inhibited ⚧  potential sexual partners.  // male / female  /  other  /  none  / all ⚧  potential romantic partners.  // male  /  female /  other  /  none  / all

ABILITIES  —

☠  combat skills.  //  excellent  / good  / moderate /  poor  / none ≡  literacy skills.  // excellent  /  good  /  moderate /  poor  /  none ✍  artistic skills.  //  excellent  /  good /  moderate  / poor /  none ✂  technical skills.  // excellent  / good  /  moderate  /  poor  /  none

HABITS  —

❣ drinking alcohol.  //  never  / sometimes / frequently /  to excess ✖ smoking.  //  never /  sometimes  /  frequently  / to excess ✿ other narcotics.  //  never  /  sometimes /  frequently  /  to excess ≡ medicinal drugs.  //  never  /  sometimes  /  frequently  / to excess ☻ indulgent in food.  // never /  sometimes /  frequently  / to excess $  splurge spending.  // never /  sometimes  /  frequently  /  to excess ♣  gambling.  // never  /  sometimes /  frequently  /  to excess

tagged by: @pullstrings​ ( thank uuuu ) tagging: anyone reading this. i been gone for so long i don’t even know who to tag anymore lmao.

[fysouthclub]

souththth: #DAZEDKOREA #lecoqsportif

[godsqeed-archive]

(sms) taehwa? is that his name? (sms) tell your friend to shower first then try again. (sms) my conscience is clear, casper. clearer than yours, anyway. (sms) i'm only messaging you as a friendly gesture (sms) and as always, you're making me regret it (sms) why do you have to be like this?

( ✶ ) Message received ― @baudellare​ !

( text ) You caught up on that one, huh?

Now is not the time to throw sarcasm at the one person he needs the most; but isn’t that his very own specialty? Doing the exact opposite of what he is supposed to do? To long for someone’s presence is very different than to actually be in their presence. The worst part? Undecided. Knowing Haneul would demand explanations seemed to be quite the winner; or perhaps it was the countless of unrequested lectures she’d throw at him that would only result in a headache.

Most certainly it did not have anything to do with her ability to somehow get through to him whenever she looked him straight into his eyes.   

Note to self: don’t ever feel.

( text ) Guessing you didn’t quite like the sweet scent of a wild afterparty. I’ll forward the message for you. Any other requests?

Note to self: feelings are trouble.

( text ) And you see, for my conscience to be dirty I’d need to actually have a conscience.

Note to self: this girl is trouble.

( text ) Your friendly gesture is rather questionable. I find it hard to believe that your intentions would be anything but friendly after being cursed at by one of my friends.

Note to self: keep her away at all costs.

( text ) What is it that you really want?

Note to Casper: what is it that you really want?

[godsqeed-archive]

baudellare:

previously, with:  seungyoon + casper

“me? you’re the one who’s suddenly acting strange!” she frowns at him. the previously gentle hold she hand on his hands growing tighter as she studies his visage. her suspicion growing, thinking that this might be a prank on his part. she’s come to learn that seungyoon’s eyes are very telling. through them, she can tell whether he’s joking or not. this time, however, she finds no sign of laughter there. “you’re making me so nervous– know what? i’ll close my eyes and you just go ahead and say it, okay? if this is a prank… yoon… i swear.” 

everything else is background noise to her now, no different from television static. distant murmurs and footsteps, the sound of seungyoon’s breathing, the waters of the hangang. all of these things slowly lulled her into a false sense of security; her guard let down for the briefest of moments, only to be taken advantage of by fate or something like it. 

in an instant, she’s pulled out of her bubble; too surprised to get a word out, even as she almost trips over her own feet. this can’t be happening– but the scene continues on and on. casper’s words are lost to the noise that has now jumped back to the fore much too loudly. but she cared little for what he had to say; knowing him, han was certain it was nothing more than intoxicated blabber.

and she had no patience nor time to listen to it.

but his grip on her was too strong to break free of and the more she fought against it, the tighter it seemed to get; so much so that she could feel her palm slowly growing cold. 

what follows happens in a series of flashes:

( she manages to force her arm out of casper’s grasp just as seungyoon steps in between them. her wrist hitting the nearby lamppost with such strength that it makes the metal reverberate; breaking her beloved watch in the process. the pain spreads rapidly, blindingly; and she reaches for seungyoon, finding his shoulder first, then his arm, before wrapping hers around his middle. “please, let’s just go” urgently whispered in his ear. )

It’s too much. Between his dedication to get Haneul to listen to him and the whirlwind of mindless thoughts clogging up his head, everything is happening far too fast for him to comprehend. Irony was once his friend, but it seems that these days it has brought him nothing but trouble—or perhaps that is karma, finally ready to kick his ass. Hard. For all the times he’s managed to run; for all the times he laughed in the face of danger and all the times in which he outsmarted all things dark and doom, karma has gotten to him, too. This battle is not one from which he can run, but one that he’ll have to chase, and he cannot do that when he cannot focus. 

Why is this nagging stranger trying so very hard to get on his last nerve?

He loses his grip for a split second, but it is enough for her to break free. Louder and louder the voices seem to grow inside of his head. They’ve got him caught up entirely, no matter how hard he tries to fight them ( he doesn’t stand a chance—not anymore ).

‘Haneul-ah.’

There is no saying how he could have possibly missed the ways in which his actions had hurt her, whether they be on purpose or not. He doesn’t even flinch when the watch breaks or when she turns her back to him once more. No. On the contrary; he remains frozen in place for about a second or three, and then finally,

finally,

he snaps.

It isn’t Haneul. It’s him. The stranger. The way in which he has the audacity to order him around and to paint him a monster. Who exactly does he think he is? ‘I’m taking her with me, can’t you see?’ Teeth clenched, he tries his best to look the man straight into his eyes, hands blindly reaching for the ballerina another time. ‘This is none of your business, so stay out of it.’

It doesn’t matter if he is her friend.

It doesn’t matter if she hates him.

It doesn’t matter if none of this makes sense to either of them, or if it makes sense to Casper.

He needs her. There is nothing or nobody he can think of that can replace the thought of her, and Casper always gets what he wants. What little sense of logic and empathy he had left, it all has evaporated into a black hole of desperation. Whoever this guy is, she shouldn’t be with him, too—and so he pulls. Again. Fixates his eyes on hers this time, his expression swinging between irritation, confusion and fear. 

‘Don’t go with him. I really need to talk to you. Don’t go. Come with me.’

[sheismyshe-deactivated20190201]

What is a ghost? Something dead that seems to be alive. Something dead that doesn’t know it’s dead.

Richard Siken, Landscape With Fruit Rot and Millipede (via sheismyshe)

[thisdaysmusic]

Visit Original Link

Thunderstruck, AC-DC

[godsqeed-archive]

( text: casper wang ) i saw one of your friends today. they called me a rotten little b-word for how i'm treating you. ( text: casper wang ) is this really the kind of company you want to keep? ( text: casper wang ) you can find others who are so much better.

( ✶ ) Message received ― @baudellare​ !

Casper is not drunk when her name lights up the screen of his phone (though in all fairness, he very well might have been).

His location? Unknown. There’s nothing but enormous trees surrounding him, and any kind of noise could as well have been non-existent. It is no short of a surprise that he’s got reception, and yet the real miracle is to receive a text from no other than Son Haneul herself. In fact, he’d sooner expect his beloved father to check up on him than for her to shoot him a message.

Yet there was no mistaken the words on his screen; he’d always recognize her name in a heartbeat

(what a fool.)

( text ) am i dreaming? are you drunk? call 911 before i get a heart attack.

Nobody knows what’s going on inside of his head, not even the demigod himself. Hell, if he knew, he would have never responded in the ways that he did. If he cared enough, if he tried enough, if he drank less and if he would stop running for one damned second—perhaps that was all he needed. For once, he could have taken the opportunity and turn things around; but he didn’t.

( text ) do you agree with them? are you here to clear your conscience, haneul-ah?

There was absolutely no conscience to be cleared. Had she really treated him badly, it was nothing but a consequence of his own behaviour. Casper was very well aware of that, and thus, had never thought of it as being unfair. His friends, however, clearly seemed to disagree with that. Not many knew of her existence, and the few that did had perhaps seen her around a couple of times at most.

It didn’t take a genius to pinpoint the exact person Haneul had ran into, and that was enough to have a dry chuckle erupting from his throat.

( text ) and for what it’s worth, i highly doubt you are in any kind of position to be judging the kind of company i am keeping—or anyone’s company for that matter.

( text ) tell taehwa i said hi next time you see him.

Far away from everyone, his words mean nothing to him. His heart is empty as ever; a confirmation that he has indeed done the right thing. There was no use apologizing for whatever Taehwa had told her. Firstly, because Casper had played no part in it. Secondly (and most importantly), because he knew better than to believe that she had taken any offense whatsoever.

Her motives for contacting him are questionable at best, but if Casper had learned one thing during the past few weeks, it was that getting her involved meant nothing but trouble.

[godsqeed-archive]

LITERATURE QUIZZES: repost with your muse’s results for the following quizzes.

HOMERIC EPITHET :   You are bright-eyed Casper. Homer also used this epithet to describe Athena, the goddess of things like wisdom, diplomacy, war, and arts and crafts. Athena was the patron of Odysseus and helped him out of some tough spots, except for those times she just didn’t feel like it for some reason or another.

FATAL FLAW  :   Your brutal honesty. You’re blunt. You’re outspoken. Frankly, you’re kind of a jerk. But you get away with it because you’re usually right and also because you’re indispensable to the major plot. But honestly? It’s going to come back to haunt you. One of these days, you’re going to be TOO honest. You’re going to refuse to lie at a critical juncture, upholding your honorable caustic truthfulness, and you’re going to pay the ultimate price for it.

GREEK MYTHOLOGY DEATH  :   Killed by a wild boar that was sent by one of the gods. See, here’s the thing—someone sent that wild boar. It might have been Artemis, because she was jealous of your skill with a bow and arrow; it might have been Ares, who hated you; or it might have been Apollo, because your girlfriend blinded his son. There’s really no telling. You made enemies. This is just what happens when you’re too beautiful to even exist. Either way, you got mauled by a pig and are now dead, but you died in Aphrodite’s arms as she wept, so at least you've got that going for you.

LITERARY SETTING  :   You got Hogwarts! We all wish we were Hogwarts students, but you seriously belong there. You’re a quirky, creative, and magical person, and you were born to wander Hogwarts’ expansive grounds, use its secret passageways to sneak into Honeydukes, and take whimsical Hippogriff rides into the sunset. Just imagine walking past the Room of Requirement with Sunday brunch on your mind (brunch food + Hogwarts magic=RIDICULOUS foodstagrams). You'll need to look out for trolls, giant spiders, basilisks, cursed necklaces, evil students, booger-flavored beans, etc, but in the words of the late, great Sirius Black, what's life without a little risk? 

tagged by:  @riotingvines thank u (also i can’t believe we had no matching ones this time) tagging:   @baudellare @theaftrparties @21jumpshin @00ksy @dahliancgra @eterneli @iceur @vuotriste @resuescitate @consilian @numberxix