READY TO FIGHT

[goldendaemons]

from THIS

you are lavender #E6E6FA Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy. Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working. Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.

[goldendaemons]

& I know we’re lost;;

[from-the--middle--of-nowher-blog]

There was a man Lily loved.  He was… complicated.  He was serious to a fault.  He was only optimistic in his assurance that nothing good could stay.  He had not believed in her, or in love, or in their love, and it had put a stake through her heart.  He was, safe to say, everything that she was not… but he had been hers.  It had taken her a whole afternoon to burn all of her dream boards and the binder where their wedding had been planned.  Effie  had been properly sloshed by the time she had finished.

And so she got it, she understood.  There wasn’t much in her life that she could say she understood and not be lying about it… but she understood how he felt. 

It was sobering to think about it and she was not ready to be sober yet.

Lily leaned her head into his hand.  She had thought this over a million times in the months preceding the wedding.  Would it had felt different if she was Mrs. Adair at this moment?  Would it feel different if she didn’t know he was wishing she was someone else?  She would never know.  She would never know any feeling but this and whether or not she would be happier was no longer relevant.  Right now, she was exactly the amount of happy that mattered.  “I really like being around you.” She assured, reaching out to hold his hips and pick herself up to kneel against him.

“We have had fun today!  And later I might even make a man of you.” Lily teased.  “And you can make me into a woman, too, of course.  I didn’t lie by wearing white.”  It was a joke and she laughed to try and ease his concern.  “I’m happy.  You’re pretty, I’m pretty.  We made people jealous… what is more ideal than that?”

“Cassian Eklund,” She promised.  “I’m about to all out-wife all the other bitches that wife.”

[goldendaemons]

There was a woman Cas loved. Or rather - he thought he loved, and that love was a torturous feeling and not at all like in the poems. He was generally an optimist, but the kind of love he was feeling allowed none of that. Love, to him, was outrage and misery, and the chance to turn off his otherwise ever-present desire to please. Love was fighting, and bruising, and biting, and chaos that could never be contained just under the skin. Love was stumbling out of bed in the morning, his ears still ringing from the sound of slammed doors. 

Love was never getting her face right in drawings, never finding that perfect mix of colors when he painted her eyes. Love was tugging at his hair in desperation and drinking himself stupid after she left because it was the only thing that could silence the roaring in his head. Love was ungenerous and cruel, love sought to hurt, but in the end, pain was what made them all human. 

And he didn’t want to love Lily that way. He didn’t want to love anyone else that way, truth be told. He wanted to be happy again, and for everyone else around him to be happy as well. “I like being around you, too,” and he realized it was true, as he said it, and that he didn’t like being around Dee, quite as much. He realized that, even if she hadn’t married someone else, he still wouldn’t have considered marrying her - she’d have said ‘no’, anyway. 

“And you looked beautiful in that white dress,” a slightly more genuine grin quirked his lips upwards. “Almost as beautiful as you look out of it,” he teased, his hand lightly trailing up and down her body, not quite touching her. He wasn’t entirely sure what was permitted, or not and he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. He shrugged in answer, assuming her question was rhetorical. “Well, with that kind of attitude, we will storm the heavens,” he laughed encouragingly and leaned closer, to plant a lingering kiss on her cheek. “It’ll all work out, you’ll see. We’re going to be really happy,” and they had the rest of their lives to figure out how. 

[goldendaemons]

& I know we’re lost;;

[from-the--middle--of-nowher-blog]

Cassian really was perfect for her.

He checked almost every box on her list - and while she had once been steadfast and strict in following it’s guidelines, Lily had had to learn a lesson:

There was no such thing as a perfect man.

Or the perfect woman.

             Though her pride shivered violently at the thought.

Every person lucky enough to be in the know had instantly made Lily regret letting them in.  The consensus was that they were young, and stupid.  They told them to be patient and that love would find them again in time.  They knew nothing.

Cas was her friend.  They got along amazingly.  They had loads in common and was happy to keep the other smiling.  He was handsome and she would look great on his arm.  He had a kind heart and peaceful spirit.  Not to mention, he was rich and capable of giving her all the prestige that came with being his.  If the only box he didn’t fit into was the one where he loved her, Lily thought she was doing pretty well for herself.  It was definitely a better percentage than the other women whose weddings she had put together.

Reaching over, she kissed his cheek.  

“And a brownie!” her oh-so romantic response as she sat back again.  The diet she usually stuck to temporarily interrupted by the buzz inside her head.  

                    She had woke up from more than one black out surrounded by                         candy wrappers.

She was actually very lucky.

As he made the call, Lily scratched his back, a mindless gesture to give her hand a task and an excuse to be close enough to hear the operator’s voice on the other end.  She only remembered for a second that they were married now and didn’t need excuses to be close before interrupting her own thoughts to reach her head onto Cas’ shoulder and tell the man on the other end her champagne year of choice. 

Not moving, deciding his shoulder was extremely comfortable, she curled up behind him and smiled up into his face.

[goldendaemons]

Cas might have exaggerated with the drinking a bit, he decided as he got up, the room swimming for a minute, before settling back down. He hadn’t drunk too much during the reception, but he’d been gulping down a lot of those tiny bottles while watching the movie. Lily’s kiss caught him by surprise, but it was most certainly the good sort, and he hadn’t even realized how nervous he was until her lips brushed his cheek. 

He half-turned to her with the beginning of a smile, and switched the phone to his other ear so she could hear. The hand rubbing circles on his back had a near sedative effect, his muscles releasing the tension as if by magic, and he leaned against her slightly, eyes closing. “Mhm,” Cas began as soon as he hung up the phone, turning his head so he could nuzzle her hair. 

“Are you happy?” he asked her, worry returning as he gave voice to his thoughts. He couldn’t bear it if she wasn’t. He turned to face her fully, kneeling on the bed, their legs touching. “Because I -” he swallowed, his hand reaching out to caress her cheek. “I know...” for a moment he fumbled for the most sensible words “-this isn’t ideal,” his lips quirked upwards in an apologetic smile. 

                                                                           I know it’s not me you want. 

He took a deep breath. “But I really want you to be happy.” he didn’t say he wanted to make her happy, he didn’t know if he could. He could help, though. 

[littlemiss-ruebee-blog]

Hello old friend!

[littlemiss-ruebee-blog]

For a long moment, Rue thought maybe she had been wrong. After all, she  hadn’t seen Cas since well before she’d began to go to school in Scotland. The more she stared, though, the more she was sure she wasn’t wrong.

He had gotten older but his eyes hadn’t changed. He still had kind eyes and hair that curled around his ears in lazy little loops. She was about to tell him her name when recognition dawned on him and his fingers signed out R-U-E. She laughed and clapped her hands. “Cas! It is you!” She realized he had never heard her speak; that he had learned ASL to communicate with her before they had lost touch. He was in for numerous surprises. She shook her head. “it’s been far to long! How have you been!?”  Cas had been one of few, along with Vlad, who had been nice to her when her mother had moved them out to France after her father’s death. He had learned to sign so he could communicate with her; a surprise for her and a kindness she always held close to her heart. Now she was overjoyed to be able to talk to him, hear his voice. She bounced on her toes, one hand absently caressing her stomach as she glanced over at the painting he had been looking at. She didn’t comment right away, grinning impishly up at him. “Of all the places i could’ve run into you.”

[goldendaemons]

He nodded excitedly at her exclamation, his delight and amazement plain on his face. “Yeah, it’s been a while!” he let out a short-lived laugh, and signed as he talked - or tried to, at any rate, he hadn’t had a lot of practice since they parted ways. “I’ve been well, you know, life happened a lot, but all in all it wasn’t so bad. You?” she glanced at her belly, and his smile widened. “You look absolutely radiant!” 

[goldendaemons]

What doesn’t kill us

@aceofspadez21

The first time Effie had got on a motorcycle she had been fifteen and ended up parking the damn thing in a pool (on purpose, naturally). At any rate, it had been an interesting enough experience that she resolved to try at again. And again. 

And again. 

And this time she went a step further in replicating those initial circumstances and ended up technically stealing the motorcycle. It wasn’t really theft when the motherfucker had it coming, though, and she wasn’t going to give him a chance to reclaim his prized possession, either. 

“Hey there!” she called, swinging off the motorcycle, and rubbing at an invisible spot on its shiny chrome handles. “I’mma need you to take this baby apart. It cannot be saved anymore, I’m afraid, it belongs in a melting pot.” she smirked, leaning against the plainly brand new vehicle. 

[littlemiss-ruebee-blog]

Hello old friend!

Rue slowly walked around the gallery, occasionally stopping to look at a painting that caught her eye. She was content with the life she had made; a loft with Clark and a baby on the way, but sometimes it was nice to get away. Just her… and her baby bump.  She studied the painting on the wall, tilting her head. “So, what do you think of this one, taz?” the baby responded by giving her a good swift kick. She scowled, hand pressing against the rise of her stomach as if that could quell the baby’s movement and said, “Geeze Parker, take it easy.” She turned to walk on but came up short. She thought she recognized someone, a tall figure staring at a painting with an upturned face. She walked (waddled, actually, she was so ready to not be pregnant anymore.) over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. “Sorry, but i’m pretty sure i know you.”

[goldendaemons]

Art shows seemed to made Cas mildly nervous. He didn’t typically mind other people seeing the things he’d made, but it just felt different having them in his studio where mainly his friends visited. Or once or twice when his dads brought in some of their friends. In fact, this was what had started this whole mess in the first place. Turned out one of them was an art dealer, and he’d shown great interest in some of Cas’s work (now that he thought about it, this might have been a not so subtle jab at getting him to start earning some honest money, rather than living off his newly discovered trust fund - but really, Cas’s life had been ridiculously hectic of late, it wasn’t as though he’d been planning to not get a proper job). Still, seeing his paintings mounted properly on a wall, rather than haphazardly stacked against one made him quite queasy (heavens, he wished Lily was here, she’d fuss over his clothes, telling him all the dirt she had on potential buyers and he’d get distracted and all would be well). A tap on his shoulder nearly made him jump out of his skin and he turned around, momentarily struck dumb by the sight of a very pregnant young woman.

“Hmm?” he echoed, rather stupidly, eyes widening as they alighted on her face. “You do?” Cas asked politely. “I…” several moments went by as he searched his mind for any clues. “Oh.” he mouthed, something teasing at the fringes of his memory. “Ooooh,” his muscles remembered faster than his brain and he lifted his hand, signing her name. “Rue! You’re -” pregnant, obviously “- here. What a wonderful surprise!” he clasped his hands together, grinning widely, focused on curbing the urge to self-consciously steer her away from his painting.

[ask-meme-addicts]

❝A Series Of Unfortunate Events❞ Sentence Meme

“I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”

“A good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.”

“This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.”

“They’re book addicts.”

“The sad truth is the truth is sad.”

“People aren’t either wicked or noble. They’re like chef’s salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.”

“How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?”

“The world is quiet here.”

“Welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.”

“Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure.”

“Never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian wolfsnake near a typewriter.”

“Nice girls shouldn’t know how to do such things.”

“If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.”

“When people say ‘it’s my pleasure,’ they usually mean something along the lines of ‘there’s nothing on Earth I would rather do less.’”

“The moral of Snow White is never eat apples.” 

“Accidents happen all the time.”

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.” 

“Wicked people never have time for reading. It’s one of the reasons for their wickedness.”

[goldendaemons]

& I know we’re lost;;

[from-the--middle--of-nowher-blog]

Something not many people knew was that Lily was actually an amazing actress!  If you didn’t know, she would happily tell you.  She could act like she liked you when she really thought you were annoying.  She could act like your new skirt was cute when really they should burn whatever cotton field it came from to the ground.  Her take on smiling when you were dying inside?  Would make Meryl weep.

It was all she had then.

Making an audible noise of disapproval, she agreed, “Yes, she’s awful.  First way to tell if a person is lazy is how they dress.  If they can’t put effort into matching shoes and belts, do you really think they care about your business proposal?”  It was easy to do, smiling.  She had been told this one time that it took like, a million muscles to frown but only one to smile or… it was something along those lines.  She had drowned the person out because she didn’t really care at the time… the point was she was smiling now as she looked over.

They knew what this was, Cassian and her.  They knew why they went through this whole act… and they had gone full tilt into it as well.  While they mourned the lives they would never have, they sent invitations out to those that had hurt them.

Well, Lily had.  

Cameron fucking Adair needed to see that she was not going to break.

Pulling the vodka over, she drank, shivering as it went down.  “We don’t like her.” She let him now in case it wasn’t obvious.  “Our favorite is Miranda.  She is the only one with her life truly together.”  There were people that would not be named from previous relationships that would have made up their own mind on the matter.  Cas would feel as she asked.

Point one for him.

[goldendaemons]

Lily clearly knew more about this than him - not that much of a surprise, to be honest, Lily knew more about him on plenty of other things as well - so Cas decided to just lie back and take his cue from her. 

Anything to keep that excited smile on her face, in fact. She looked as though she was really enjoying herself, and wasn’t reconsidering this at all, even though they’ve been alone now for nearly a whole hour. 

The movie was an easy watch, though he didn’t understand why Anne Hathaway was still the enemy when she finally got her act together and started doing a great job, but interrupting in the middle of a flick wasn’t polite (and besides, he had no room to say anything, next to Lily’s running commentary of every scene). 

Those tiny bottles didn’t prove much of a match for Anne Hathaway's incompetency, but at least they didn’t run out of drinks before the movie ended. No, that happened thirty seconds in the credits when Cas realized the bottle he was holding on to was empty, and there were no more misplaced drinks in the bed. 

“I’m calling room service!” he declared, getting up heavily, his head buzzing pleasantly. “Ordering champagne!” Lily was a classy lady, wasn’t she? She would appreciate that. “...and fries.” he continued. “I’m starving. And dessert - ice cream!” they had this room booked for two days - something about not getting enough of each other - before being scheduled to leave for their honeymoon. 

It was a good thing though, Cas knew they had lots to talk about, and he’ll remember precisely what just as soon he sobered up. 

[goldendaemons]

& I know we’re lost;;

[from-the--middle--of-nowher-blog]

Lily was having a crisis.

There were starving children in the world who were better off than she was at that moment as she stared into the bathroom mirror.  At least their decisions were made for them… not to mention they hadn’t had to consume their meager weight in appetizers that day.  

                                                  (She was such a fucking whale.)

They didn’t have to worry over make up like she did - a few lines of mud on their face and they were good to go.  She, on the other hand, was now being forced to decide whether or not to keep her makeup on or take it off and was certain no one did, or even could, understand her struggle.  On one hand, she did not need her face turning into a connect the dot because she went to bed with it on.  While they were definitely the most fun game on paper, they were not when your whole being was devoted to being hotter than the girl next to you.

BUT

On the other hand, she was just married, like hours into it.  Did she really want her new husband to see her as she truly was?!  Not mentally, emotionally, or physically.

It was a conundrum put to the rest by the appearance of the Almighty herself, Meryl Streep.

Lily’s ears perked up, a face of impeccable make up hurrying through the door as she sang Sound of Music, identifying these all as her favorite things.  She bounced onto the bed with him, her wedding dress traded for the slip she had wore underneath.  “Every time Anne Hathaway is lazy and can’t do a simple job, we drink!” She declares, ripping the paper from the chocolate and leaning over to offer her new husband a bite.

[goldendaemons]

Cas hurried to plaster a smile on his face when Lily bounced in, wearing considerably less than the yards and yards of whatever material her wedding dress had been made off, and he took a hearty sip of his tiny vodka bottle to keep his eyes from wandering inappropriately. 

Sure they were married, but maybe not quite really married. And sure, marrying the person one lost their virginity to was rare in this day and age, and it might have given others the wrong impression if this was the only detail they knew of them, but truth was that save for that time, they haven’t done it again and now Cassian was seriously starting to worry it was because it had simply been terrible. 

He’d improved since - or so he’d like to think - but the truth was that his other choices for bedmates hadn’t really been that inspired. One of them had broken his heart, after all. And married his uncle. Just thinking about it made his head hurt, and he almost missed the moment Lily leaned over to offer him some chocolate. He smiled at her around the bar, trying to focus on the now. 

“I might have started on that, already,” he raised his half empty bottle of vodka. “So which one’s Anne Hathaway?” he squinted at the TV, trying to guess the incompetent. “Is she the one in the bad sweater?” 

[goldendaemons]

& I know we’re lost;;

And just like that, they were married. 

Well, of course not just like that - there’s been an entire party to plan, and Lily’s dress was a wonder to behold, and he had to let her pick his suit as well, because what did he know about these things, and there was a fancy band, and several tonnes of flowers, and dancing, and not nearly enough alcohol to cure their broken hearts, which was the only thing that ruined it a little bit. 

“Oi, Lily! There’s The Devil Wears Prada on TV!” he called, kicking his expensive shoes off and throwing himself on the bed, arms full of whatever he found in the hotel’s mini fridge. “And chocolate!” he tossed a bar of Tomblerone on her pillow. “Vodka too!”