Claire Keane
ojovivo
RMH
DEAR READER
KIROKAZE
cherry valley forever
Show & Tell
Misplaced Lens Cap
Sweet Seals For You, Always
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Andulka
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Three Goblin Art
Origami Around
Sade Olutola
Janaina Medeiros
we're not kids anymore.
No title available
#extradirty
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@goneforeverlol
i’ve completely revamped my blog. i’m dropping most threads, unless i’ve talked to you. it’s like starting new but ofc all of our pairings and whatnot are still alive and well. :~) i just needed to clean up and move. backgrounds on each character will be up v soon. also, if a muse you rp with isn’t listed, they’re reserved and i haven’t finished my reserved page yet. so followers new and old, come join me as i make my fresh start. ♥ i’m heading over there now, so lettuce plot!!
I'VE MOVED TO A NEW BLOG, FOLLOW ME HERE !
so i didn’t really make the tags fancy or anything but i’ve completely revamped my blog. i’m dropping most threads, unless i’ve talked to you. it’s like starting new but ofc all of our pairings and whatnot are still alive and well. :~) i just needed to clean up and move. backgrounds on each character will be up v soon. also, if a muse you rp with isn’t listed, they’re reserved and i haven’t finished my reserved page yet. so followers new and old, come join me as i make my fresh start. ♥
so, i’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this blog, and i’m beginning to wonder if i’m not active or don’t want to be active due to the fact that it’s a mess, and i’m not always getting to use muses i want to use... i’ve never revamped or anything, and i think that’s what i’m going to do... so for now, threads are on hold while i get my shit together on a new blog. if anyone would want to, idk, help me with a theme... i would so appreciate it. i love you guys and i’m so sorry i’ve been so flaky, but i assure you, that is going to change. i just think i need new inspo. again, thank you guys so much and i love you.
can we do short things? i’ve had a draining day but i want to write... someone pls help. :/
&. ARGUING STARTERS.
“i can’t believe you.”
“are you serious?”
“we’re not finished. i’m not just going to let this go.”
“so you don’t trust me?”
“fuck you.”
“you know me! and the fact that you still think i’d do that hurts the most.”
“i miss the old you. i don’t want the person you’ve become.”
“you never understand.”
“you said the same thing last time.”
“i’m so tired of constantly doing this with you.”
“you don’t even try to see it from my perspective.”
“i’m not apologizing.”
“hell if i care.”
“this is fucking bullshit.”
“why are you always the one who’s breaking my heart?”
“i can’t do this anymore.”
“you don’t mean that.”
“i hate you.”
“you never keep your promises.”
“out of all the things you’ve told me, what was true?”
“i can’t even look at you.”
“do you even love me anymore?”
“i’m fucking done.”
“i shouldn’t have ever trusted you.”
“you’re being unfair.”
“i’m not going to keep being your little secret. i deserve better.”
“i’m leaving.”
“just… just go.”
“i thought you’d be the one to make me happy.”
“you don’t even pretend to care about me.”
“i don’t even remember the last time you told me you loved me.”
“don’t go.”
“i never asked for this.”
♬ regan & nathan
♬ nathan singing to regan
they’d be silent for a few minutes now. partly because nathan wasn’t sure what to say, and partly of the fact that he was still confused as to why regan preferred this video messaging over face to face. especially now that they’ve met. now that he knows she is in the same city. he places a hand over half his face, leaning against the computer desk while he searched for something to say. anything. he just didn’t want to make her feel crazy, or weird. he didn’t think it was weird, no … he understood what she was going through. he just wished he could do something about it. wished he could take it all away, and the only ways he knew how to help someone couldn’t be done via skype camera. his face burst into a bright smile when he heard his old school radio across his room begin to play one of his favorite songs, ain’t too proud to beg by the temptations. he ran over, turning the music up as loud as it could, and began dancing on his way back to his desk chair. he swayed from side to side, grinning from ear to ear, and then began to sing along to the song passionately. when in doubt, nathan went back to basics. he just wanted to make regan smile, at the very least. he continued to perform, putting on a mini concert for the sad eyed girl and hoped it could bring her mellow mood to something happier. he crooned along with the singer … ‘ i know you wanna leave me, but i refuse to let you go. if i have to beg, plead for your sympathy, i don’t mind cause you mean that much to me … ’
“I forgave everybody, I gave up, I got drunk.”
— Jack Kerouac
so, i called off today because i’m a shit bag and spent the entire day cleaning my house. that leaves my whole evening to write... and believe me, i’ve been looking forward to it. i’ll be here until bed time off and on while i do laundry, so expect replies!!
also, i am really obsessed with creve coeur 1 by hobo johnson and would absolutely adore anyone who would want to maybe do a plot based on it?? lots of angst, things like that. i don’t know, man. let me know. love you, peaches. ♥
infctuationss:
for a man who had so much to say just seconds ago, nathan found his mind BLANK the second she looked up at him. while he’d seen pictures of regan before, the real thing was a different experience. she was shorter, more petite than he imagined. softer looking almost, like she could break if you hugged her too hard. and broken, in a way that just about tore nathan’s heart to think about. he knew about her past - knew about the the panic attacks and lack of sleep regan was enduring … but he’d never thought about the toll it might be taking on her. he could visibly see the pain she was going through. even more shocking was how beautiful she was despite that. he felt the same pang in his heart that he felt the first time they’d talked, as if something that was missing from his life was finally found. nathan recalled the first time he’d seen her face, a picture in a snapchat that made his knee’s weak looking at. he’d never expected to FALL for regan. for the girl he met online. but he had, without even realizing it. one day he was just the same as he’d always been and the next … he was a man in love. he didn’t see other women. didn’t think about making plans to go out, not when he could be talking to her. he pursed his lips, thinking about the right thing to say. what could he say, what he SHOULD say. he couldn’t say he loved her, that would freak her out even more. he was scared of reaching out and grabbing her into his arms, seeing as how she was practically shaking in his mere presence. but he couldn’t let her feel bad for running. not when she had nothing to be sorry about. ‘ no wait, regan. don’t be sorry. i don’t want you to be sorry, okay ? i just … i thought you running meant you didn’t wanna see me. that’s it. don’t be sorry, please. ’ just as he was sure he’d never remedy this situation, she came crashing into his arms and he instinctively wrapped his body around hers. she was so fragile, he noticed again. so soft and so breakable, which only made him all the more careful with her. he whispered into her hair, wanting to stay like this forever. just holding her. just PROTECTING her. ‘ shhhhh … you worry too much. i’m just so happy to finally see you, like with my own eyes. hold you, regan. i’ve wanted this for so long … ’
prior to her ptsd diagnosis (or lack there of), regan had been the exact opposite of her appearance. while she presented herself as fragile, as feminine and quiet, but opened her mouth and shot out daggers. she was actually known for her venomous words, her feisty personality, and it all just slipped right through her fingers. it was as if she and her sister had switched places. now all fire and ice, the older woman had adapted to her surroundings, while regan shielded herself from them. agoraphobia took over her life, which was probably why she found herself in complete shambles in nathan’s arms -- and presence. her bottom lip jutted out in a pout at the mere suggestion that she hadn’t wanted to see him, but she couldn’t make the words come out. this was a situation she had found herself in all too often. time froze. she lost most of the control over her speech.while her mind raced, full of thoughts she could bring to life, she simply couldn’t make her mouth move -- and so she didn’t. regan simply relaxed into nathan’s embrace and listened to his soothing coos. this was a wake up call. what if this had been a family member? what if she’d run into a friend from high school? had she really lost touch with reality so horribly that she couldn’t speak, couldn’t socialize? the dark haired girl bit down on her bottom lip and pulled back momentarily, allowing her vision to refocus on nathan as he spoke. “worry?” she raised a brow and let a nervous breath of a laugh escape her petals. “oh, i wouldn’t know the meaning of the word worry, silly,” she wasn’t comfortable in the slightest, but she was trying her best to act as though she was. green hues met nathan’s, and she couldn’t help but let out an exhale of relief. regan wasn’t with a stranger. he knew everything about her. “i always hid from you. i’ve seen you before,” she admitted. “i know that’s incredibly shitty of me, but truly, i just didn’t want you to see me like this. i come off as a confident person online and i wanted you to meet that girl, the girl i used to be,” regan explained, but as people walked by her, stepped around the two in an embrace, she scooted closer to nathan. “can we go somewhere else? somewhere quieter?”
Try to break my muse’s heart in a single sentence.
cvsmiic:
THE LOOK ON her face is enough to cause his stomach to drop into a pit he didn’t even know was inside of his body. something about disappointing nat made his heart hurt; he knew she had been through so much and to pile more pain on her from his actions? it was disheartening. he hadn’t told her about the date. it wasn’t even something that mattered to him. he was only doing it to please his parents, and frankly, he’d made the decision to attend at the last minute. mitali was positive she wouldn’t understand and it was the only reason he’d failed to tell her the truth about his plans. they lived very different lives; it was something he was aware of. his parents already didn’t have a good impression of natalia, but now that his date was likely going to go back to them to tell them how their son had abruptly left her in a chinese restaurant for a curly-haired brunette? they really, really wouldn’t like her. he would deal with those consequences later; right now, he needed to calm natalia down. a harsh sigh falls from his lips and his hand raises to rub as his face. “nat-” mit says, careful to keep his voice level as he speaks. “look, i couldn’t tell you because i knew-” another sigh, and his hand falls from his face to push into his pants pocket. “i know you would react like this. i just- had to do this blind date for them to get off my back about it and that was it, i swear-” why was he explaining this to her? they weren’t dating. he owed her no explanation aside from the fact he was a shitty friend and handled the situation incorrectly by lying to her. dark hues attempt to meet her gaze and he takes a small step forward, hoping to close the distance enough to be able to grab her in case she tries to run. he can practically see the wheels spinning in her head on how to get out of their current situation. “wait- why does it matter? i mean, i know i lied about who i was with and that was shitty but… are you mad i was on a date?”
“i knew you would react like this.”
“did you?” she inquired with a rather incredulous laugh. if there was one thing other than dishonesty that pushed her through the roof, it was when someone told her how she felt, or what she thought. nat was the only one in control of her feelings and actions. “that is why it matters, mitali,” it was rare that she used his full first name. “god, i just -- i thought i could trust you, but then you lie to me about who you’re with, and like... yeah, it’s none of my business, but it does suck that you felt like you had to lie to get out of hanging out with me,” she explained. her voice changed from angry to defeated in a matter of seconds. the brunette ran her hands through her curls. “you lied to me... and the thing is, if you feel as though you have to hide a blind date from me, then maybe you’re the one who feels guilty, like they’re doing something wrong...” she often wondered if maybe she felt protective and possessive over mit because he was all she had. her daughter was gone. her mother was far away. her father was flaky. she didn’t make friends easily, or at all, really. it was a miracle that mit hadn’t completely abandoned her the first time she yelled at him. he frustrated her to no end, but once the frustration dissipated, natalia only wanted to be next to him. she liked it when he slept at her house, because she knew where he was -- and it sounded crazy, but if nat knew for a fact that mit was right there, she also knew that he wasn’t leaving her alone like most of the other people in her life had. the dark realization came over her, and it was all nat could do to keep her composure. “look, it’s okay. i forgive you. i’m going home. i need to go. plus, you have a date!” she looked up and tried to force a smile. “so go have fun. go... go!”
cvsmiic:
A QUIET EXHALE leaves her lips the moment gage’s hand makes contact with her frame. her self-control melts at times like this – when he was completely and utterly high. in these moments he was sweet; he made her feel important and most importantly, he made her feel loved. it wouldn’t be long until he was soundly sleeping beside her and she would have to carefully wiggle out of his grasp to go home until he’d call the next time. the boy wouldn’t be the same person when he awoke; he wouldn’t touch her like this, nor would he want to be around her. his words wouldn’t be soft and slurred; they would be cold and dry and send a pang of anxiety through her stomach with each syllable. it was the sweet moments like this with gage that continued to bring her over despite the fact she felt uncomfortable with the circumstances. “i’m glad sophie trusts you enough to take care of her blankets.” she muses softly, following her words with a quiet giggle as the boy pulls one over their heads. her eyes flutter shut in the darkness, silently praying her breathing stays level as the pad of his thumb continues to drag across her skin. within moments there’s an incredible brightness and salem’s eyes hesitantly peek open to peer at the boy through the glare of his flash light. dark brows raise slightly as she opens her mouth to answer, but she’s quickly cut off by the beginning of his story he’s eager to tell. “a giant asshole,” she repeats to herself. another giggle rattles her frame until she’s busied with a faint flush creeping over her cheeks. she knows it’s apparent now, especially with gage shining the flash light in her direction now. “uh-” salem murmurs, looking for more time to come up with something sensible to add. “salem the cat told him-” the girl pauses again, unaware to continue with a subtle message about their situation or to let it go for now. she assumes the comment may go over gage’s head if she says it, but it doesn’t stop a nervous tug on her lip before she speaks again. “that she wants him to be careful. sometimes this giant asshole gets himself in- situations that are… scary. and salem the cat doesn’t like scary things – her ears go back and her tail goes between her legs and she just… she runs away.”
one would think that gage would be unable to comprehend metaphors, similes and everything in between once he’s stuck that needle in his arm, but in fact, it was quite the opposite. his mind opened up. gage often wondered if this was the real him -- he had to hope so, because the opposite was less than approachable. he turned the flashlight off and let his phone slide between them, completely enamored by salem and not the contents of his device. as she continued the story, he could feel his face fall. it wasn’t something he tried to hide, no. in fact, he wasn’t sure how to hide how disappointed in himself he felt. “she has a right to do that,” he whispered with a brief nod of his head. how could she not? gage knew he could get into some shitty situations. he was the last to deny that. he’d scared so many people off by being too open, not hiding his dirty little secret more than he should. salem had witnessed him fighting in the street. she’d wiped the blood from his busted lip and broken nose. gage had hid her in his bedroom when people broke into his house. it truly wasn’t safe for her to be around him, yet he risked it. why? simple -- he was selfish. he wanted her all to himself, and in his drugged stupor, gage didn’t think about all the risks that went into their relationship (if he could even call it that). “i don’t know what to say, salem,” he confessed, lifting the blankets off of them just a bit so they could breathe. “i could say i’ll stop doing the shit i do, but that would be a lie... like, i can’t -- i can’t just quit,” he was rarely this candid. it was a shock to the both of them, he was sure. “d’you know people die from withdrawal? like, people who have used their entire lives, they just fuckin’ die from the symptoms of not having what they want, and i know it seems like i don’t really care whether i live or die, but i don’t... i don’t want to go out that way,” he shrugged his shoulders up and down, turning to face salem on his side. the tiniest bit of sweat began to sheen across his forehead. he patted his hairline, sighing and shaking his head. “i’m so sick without it. i don’t want to be around anyone. can i tell you what it feels like?” he leaned in close to her face, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. “it feels like you’re in a hole in the ground and you’re safe at first, but then people come to excavate, and they dig around, but they dig around in your head... so you have the worst headache because people are digging in it. then, the headache causes this insane nausea that won’t go away no matter how much ginger ale you drink. you sweat. you shake. all because these little men are pounding away at your brain -- but then you -- well, you use. and it all goes away. so can you see how i’d be just a bit desperate for relief?”
Amanda Seyfried as Katie in Fathers & Daughters ( 2015 )
... hello!!!!!!!!
i know. you’re all like ‘we’re seeing kim making an apology post for disappearing as she does’ but that’s exactly what this is
replies coming asap, new muses will be added and idk man i love you guys
ok editing this to say that if we have a thread you want to keep, like this, and if you want a new thread (as in a new thread for one of our established pairings or somethin) reply to this or send me a msg and i’m gonna tag you guys!!
@infctuationss @violetleaves @nebulaofmuses @cvsmiic @perscst
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