Crowely: You’ll never beat us!
Azriphale: YEAH FUCKHEAD!
Crowely: Woah angel take it easy-
Azriphale: EAT SHIT AND DIE.
$LAYYYTER
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@good-omens-incorrectquotes
Crowely: You’ll never beat us!
Azriphale: YEAH FUCKHEAD!
Crowely: Woah angel take it easy-
Azriphale: EAT SHIT AND DIE.
Crowley: *carrying all of their bags*
Azriaphale: *reaches out to grab one*
Crowley: *switches all the bags to one hand to hold azriaphales*
Azriaphale: That’s not what I- ok.
Azriphale: Oh no..
Crowley busting into the room with his holy water spray bottle: WHAT HAPPENED ARE YOU DYING??!!
Azriphale: Uh, no. I just dropped my cookie on the floor.
Azriphale holding a flower: Make love, not war.
Crowely: I’ll do both. *takes flower*
Azriphale: *blushing* That was stupid..
Gabriel: *looks at Beelzebub* I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing..
Beelzebub, the usually chaotic one, asleep on Gabriel’s shoulder:
Gabriel: But I know I’m doing it really, really well.
Azriphale: What was that noise?
Crowely: Oh it was probably just a branch hitting the window or something.
Azriphale: But there isn’t a tree outside our window.
Crowley: Huh. Then I guess it’s someone trying to kill me. Again.
Crowely: My kink is when people actually care about my feelings and what I have to say.
Beelzebub: Too unrealistic. Settle for bondage like the rest of us.
Azriphale hugging Crowely for hours straight:
Crowely: You’re feeling extra cuddly today.
Azriphale: I have this theory that if I hug you and never let go, everything’s gonna be okay!
Crowley: And hows that going?
Azriphale: Good. I haven’t exploded yet.
Crowley: Good....wait are expecting to get exploded?!
Azriphale: Shhhh lets enjoy this moment.
Azriphale: YOU VILE FEIND HOW OULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS I CANT EVEN LOOK AT YOU, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN IM IN, THIS IS IT, DONT TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN.
Crowely: A-all I said is that I like pineapple on pizza.
Azriphale: DONT EVEN SPEAK ITS NAME.
Azriphale: People wish they were as tough as me. I am the very personification of brave and stoic!
Crowely: You cried for three days when we watched Lion King and
Mufasa died.
Azrirpahle and Crowley: *making out*
Gabriel: ..ahem.
Azriphale: OH MY GOD-
Crowley: HOW LONG HAVE BEEN THERE?!!
Gabriel: *one traumatized archangel* ...to long.
Crowely: Angel, did it hurt when you-
Azriphale: *rolling his eyes* When I fell from heaven? Honestly, you have to do better than tha-
Crowely: That’s not what I was going to say.
Azriphale: Oh...then what was it?
Crowely: *smirking* Did it hurt when you fell for me?
Azriphale: *agressivly blushing*