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@goshcallie
My latest for Seattle magazine is posted! These four amazing women shared their thoughts on #InternationalWomensDay and this year's theme #BeBoldForChange. Please preesh their thoughtful answers 💖 link in bio. (at Pike Place Market)
I am interested in anal play and possibly dp, but my main issue is that my vaginal canal and anus are pretty small and tight. Like, it is sometimes difficult for my boyfriend to fit his average sized penis inside my vagina, and he can't penetrate my anus very easily at all. Do you have any tips or product recommendations? I'm not interested in, say, dilators, but rather toys that I can start off with that are small.
Hey there! Awesome!
Well, butts are pretty tight by nature. The external sphincter can be relaxed through breathing exercises, massage, bearing down, and more than anything: taking it slow. The second sphincter, inside, cannot be controlled. It can only relax with time, so make sure you take insertion very slowly. While new sensations may feel intense, if they hurt- at all- something isn’t right. For a good little beginner anal plug, I highly recommend checking out the Fun Factory Bootie. It’s small but it will stay put better than nearly any other beginner sized plug- it also runs about $35. A lot of folks look at the Tantus Lil Flirt, but because the neck is so slight, it tends to pop out pretty easily. I don’t recommend that one. If you really want a treat, the nJoy Pure Plug Small will make your butt sing in the best way, but it is $65. Steel slides in without the same drag as silicone, but it’s a luxury and certainly more expensive.
If vaginal penetration is uncomfortable, you’re right that a lot of folks might recommend dilators- sets of small, medium, and large dildos or vibrators to gently stretch the tissue. However, rest assured that they are not what I recommend. I recommend using a small toy that is enjoyable to you. You’re much more likely to use something that’s fun rather than something that is only slightly (but possibly very) uncomfortable. Vaginally, I often recommend the Tango by We Vibe, or, if you can swing the size (I believe it’s about 1" in diameter), the Lelo Gigi 2. The Tango- a lipstick shaped hard plastic vibe- tends to be about $79, the Gigi about $159. Both are waterproof and rechargeable, but NEITHER are anal safe.I repeat: don’t put them in your butt. Neither have a flared base, which means they could slip into a butt and make for a very uncomfortable trip to the ER. Uncomfortable in so many ways.Don’t do it.
Above all other products, however, I recommend a great lube. Sliquid Sassy is a water based lube that is safe to use with any material, and it’s super gentle with just 5 ingredients. It’s also formulated to be thick enough to use for anal play, so it’s perfect for all your requests. It runs between $12-22 a bottle and it will last a long time.
Make sure you’re using clear communication with your partner, letting them know exactly what you like and what you do not enjoy. Sex is supposed to be fun, but it definitely isn’t when you’re in pain, so be honest. Make sure you’re exploring new territory because you want to, not to make someone else happy. Share + give what you want and nothing more.
Do what feels good, talk, be safe, and have fun! 🎉
🌸 Please feel free to send sex and relationship questions anon or not, and I’ll be happy to answer them to the beat of my ability. 🌸
Haven't done a doodle in a while. Here's my contribution to the #meettheartist tag. 🔮✨💖👑🙌
Went for a walk around the neighborhood, grabbed a burger and coffee, hugged sweet angel @edifffff, felt really fortunate to get to spend every Christmas with this handsome creature, and experiencing lots of gratitude to have so many people to miss back home in Santa Cruz. I didn't expect to luck out with a family like I have, but, wow. I miss them all like crazy. Still, I can't help but to feel blessed that I hit the family jackpot. We will see you soon, California loves. Missing you and loving you all day every day. ❤🎄 (at Seattle, Washington)
My latest piece, "How Weed Can Supercharge Your Sex Life," is up at @thrillist! Huge thanks to Chelsea Cebara at @dockside_cannabis For her wealth of knowledge and time. Link in bio. 🌿✌️️
relevant
Today, history will be made. Praying it's the right kind. 🇺🇸 (at Capitol Hill (Seattle))
I often say that this family was the best wedding gift I received, and it's true. Mirabai is not just a writer I deeply respect, she's also my aunt. From the time we met a few years ago to now, she has welcomed and encouraged my work, always willing to read anything I feel needs an extra dusting of magic. So grateful to call so many beautiful souls my family. (at Elliott Bay Book Company)
Completely in awe ❤️ @marieclairemag syndicated my recent essay on the decision to have my wedding without those who have hurt me most. (Link in bio) I feel so grateful to be able to share my story with others, and having it unfold this way is incredibly validating. Thank you so much for all the kindnesses and the warm reception. Picture of the happiest day of my life bc I will never get tired of them. That guy gives me more love than I could have ever dreamed of. My babe. (at Capitol Hill (Seattle))
The biggest news of my writing career yet: I have just published a personal essay with @cosmopolitan! Link in bio. I can't believe this piece of my heart is out in the world now. So thankful for the opportunity to share parts of my story with such a broad audience. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. 💖 I am shaking. Beautiful wedding day photo by @jaredwilliamd 🙌 (at Capitol Hill Farmers Market)
For those who don't know, I'm Callie, writer and sex educator! When I had my first essay published with BUST in March of this year, I had no idea that writing would become my full time job. With the support of amazing readers who share strands of my story, and my incredibly compassionate, ride-or-die husband, I've managed to make the shift from working an hourly position to building my career one little word at a time. Right now, I'm helping The Nooky Box get quality products to people far and wide by providing education and consultation, and I'm working on some really big projects to get my career going even faster and more furious! ✈️ Be on the lookout for my upcoming pieces. In my spare time (but what is spare time when you work from home?) I make art, pursue interior design, and I cook a lot, but never so much that I can't also enjoy fries. 🍟 I am an absolute homebody in cozy, rainy Seattle. If I could have a dog, I'd probably actually have three, (dogs are so good!) so it's probably a good thing my building doesn't allow them! Thanks for sharing kindnesses and support with me. The energy you send my way whenever I put something into the world keeps me inspired to create more. I'm so grateful for the graciousness that's flowing my way. 💜 U the best. (at Lost Lake Cafe & Lounge)
First organic tote has been painted and is awaiting friends in the stack that will become my shop. Etsy? Where else do you like to buy art? What else do you want to see on this size tote? I have two more in this size, and more of the larger zippered totes. Knapsacks arrived in the mail today, along with the supplies needed to get some beautiful mugs and other bits in your hands! ☕️🎒👜🍽💐 (at Capitol Hill (Seattle))
Me n the sister of my heart 💘 (at Hot Cakes - Capitol Hill)
In my hand, an actual photo of me walking into a party. 🌿 #plantmom #sansevieria #motherinlawstongue (at Capitol Hill (Seattle))
If you're wondering what you can do to help in the wake of #hurricanematthew, consider donating to @projecthopeart. My friend Melissa has worked for years on building educational programs and enhancing healthcare access to the people of Haiti, and they need assistance now more than ever. "Men anpil chay pa lou" translates to: the work is light with many hands. Bay piti pa chich translates as: to give a little is not cheap. I made this piece to be used by Project HOPE Art to raise awareness of their efforts in relief as well as funding. If you can give money or time, shoot them a DM. They can use every helping hand possible! 💜
✨🌿 good news growing 🌿✨ I just ordered my first ever set of supplies to get this little one woman shop up and running! By "shop," I really mean "an imaginary place on the internet where you can order stuff I make." On the order I've got: Big, roomy, zippered + pocketed totes! Small traditional style organic totes! Knapsacks with pockets! Tea towels! Clothbound lined notebooks! And soon I'll be picking up some ceramics (plates, cups, planters) as well! I plan on having these ready for the holiday season which means I'm about to be so busy! If you're interested in purchasing something and want a custom design, shoot me a DM. I'm open to all lettering requests (done a bit tidier than this very excited-overwhelmed-shaky lil doodle!) as well as anything cactus print, or with fat babes (circus, swimmers, burlesque dancers, u name it), floral or abstract! If there's something you'd love to see, I'd LOVE to hear about it in the comments 💘🙌 (at Seattle, Washington)
Inspired yet again by my sweet sweet pal @fallashleep, I made a lil self portrait per her suggestion. It's been a creative moon over here! Chad and I have been keeping up with the @littledoodleproject and #inktober, I'm writing like a fiend and making so much art! Thanking all the muses for this mighty aid to my creative soul ✨🌸🌿 #selfie #inktober2016 (at Seattle, Washington)
