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Going through my supervisor's comments on my first chapter draft reminds me how much I hate editing.

#my toxic trait is that once I've written something I have almost zero motivation to go back and re-work it #He left so many comments about one paragraph that I decided just to cut the paragraph entirely rather than address all the issues #well at least this is helping me cut the word count #I also got my draft introduction to my supervisor a few days ago #god knows how many comments that's gonna have

Submitted my first drafts of chapters 3 and 4. Hope to get a draft of the introduction to my supervisor within two weeks, then will work on edits based on his feedback to make a complete second draft, which I need to send to him by early August before he goes on holiday.

#going well so far #I think #hoping the intro won't be too hard to write #aiming for about 1000 words

Alright, alright. Got the first draft of chapter 3 (longest chapter so far at around 4,500 words!) and am making good progress with chapter 4. Being forced to hang out in a local (air conditioned) cafe every day after work because of the heatwave has really boosted my productivity.

#I think this last chapter might be my shortest #aiming for 2500 words #currently at 1200 #then it's just the intro left to draft!#honestly if I can complete a first draft of this diss within a month and a half I'll be very happy #plenty of time for editing #let's go!

Unbelievably I got 78% for my final essay. Cannot comprehend how I got away with that, but I'm very happy because that really takes the heat off the diss. I'm fairly certain I can get a Distinction overall now.

#huge relief!#honestly that essay was such a ball-breaker towards the end #also feeling good about diss progress #almost finished the first draft of chapter 3 #which is the hardest chapter #then just gotta do chapter 4 and the intro

Sent my first drafts of chapters 1 and 2 to my supervisor! I'm pretty pleased with them (so far), but I expect I'll be doing substantive edits after the feedback. I'm glad I've got these 2 chapters drafted already, as that gives me more time to work on the last 2 chapters which I think will take a bit more work.

#feeling good about the diss at the moment though!#now I can play Switch for the rest of the evening

It's only been four days since I started drafting the first chapter of the diss and I'm almost done with the chapter already! Currently at just under 3k words. I knew this chapter and chapter 2 were going to be the easiest to write and I want to get them drafted as soon as possible because I need to do more research for the other two chapters. I was meant to submit my first draft chapter mid-June, but I think I could submit two draft chapters then.

#so far so good!#I'm tempted to combine the two more difficult chapters to make life easier for myself #we'll see

The essay is done and submitted. Only happy with the first half of it, but whatever! Now the only thing left is the diss and I'm scheduled to send the first draft chapter to my supervisor some time in the second week of June. I have a video call with them on the 1st June for a progress update, so we'll see where I am then. Today I had an idea about how to structure the diss, so I'm gonna run with that for now. As the word count is 14,000, I'm thinking I should make each main chapter ~3,000 words, leaving 2k words for the intro and conclusion.

#excited to start the diss #also nervous #I've actually got to put my ideas into words #and make it make sense

Weekly word count check in: 3,971! Writing these last 1k words has been excruciating. Truly. I don’t even want to read what I’ve written because I’m so scared of how bad it is. I think whoever marks this essay will be able to pinpoint the exact moment I lost all motivation for it. But it’s almost over. All I have to do is write a short conclusion and it’s done. Thank god it’s almost over, but once this essay is done that means I’m gonna have to commit to the diss from now on and that’s a terrifying prospect.

#Pray for me!

Weekly word count check in: currently at 3,200 words. The home stretch should be easier, but I'm struggling with the last part the most. The last 200 words I'm reserving for the conclusion, but I still need to find 600 words in this last section.

#why can't I think of anything to say #I've written the introduction this morning #but I want to keep going on this later section of the essay #but I can't think of how to proceed

It’s been a week since I started writing the essay and I’m at 2,100 words, so well ahead of where I wanted to be! I’m feeling pretty good about what I’ve written so far and I’m almost done with the first section. I think the next section might be slightly harder to writer, but I’m not too worried about it.

#I can get away with getting 68% for this essay #Not that I’m not trying hard #I’m doing my best!#It’s just nice to know I don’t NEED a very high mark to do well this term

I started the essay on Monday and it's now Wednesday and I've already written 1k words, so it's going much better than I expected! I thought it would be super hard to get started on it, but I got in the flow almost from the start and it's been nice to see it come together.

#now I'm starting to worry about the diss #I think my primary worry is always that I don't manage to convey what I want to

Started writing my final essay! It's 4k words and due on the 20th May, so I have plenty of time to work on it. I've had a Zoom meeting and a bit of email back and forth with my supervisor for this essay and am feeling somewhat confident about it now. I really wasn't sure about my idea, but after forcing myself to come up with a coherent essay plan I kinda know what I'm doing now. My aim is to write ~200 words a day, meaning that I can reach 4k words in a few weeks. Word count for today is 263, so I'm on track.

Loose topics of the essay? Early Victorian mental science, occult romance fiction, science, the supernatural!

#let's go!#this is our final essay before the dissertation #I'm nervous but also excited to get started on the diss #but don't want to get ahead of myself #I need to just focus on this essay for the next few weeks #also about that academic I mentioned in my last post #the mild obsession turned into a bit of a full-blow obsession #I've watched every one of his YouTube vids #and listened to every podcast he's been on #I'm now reading around his subject #managed to stop myself from reading his PhD thesis

I seem have to become mildly obsessed with this academic (not naming names) who's an expert in ancient Greek warfare. One of his videos came up on my YouTube and I've kinda gone down the rabbit hole...

#I think I just love people who have niche expertise #if I wasn't mildly obsessed with this guy there's no way I would've listened to an hour-long podcast on ancient Greek warfare this morning #I also may have watched MANY of his YouTube vids

Long time no post! (I deleted the Tumblr app from my phone).

To summarise everything going on right now:

Potential supervisor got back to me after almost three months with feedback on my PhD proposal. Not sure how to respond to him because I don't have the time right now (due to reasons below) to work on the proposal. Might just have to respond with a generic "thanks for the feedback will think on it and get back to you" for now.

The new term has started, so we have a tutorial every week and reading and work to do for said weekly tutorial. On top of that we have to start working on the essay due at the end of May. I have an idea about this, but my supervisor hasn't seemed wholly enthusiastic. Honestly at this point I think I'm just gonna plough on ahead and do it, because it's a topic I'm interested in. When I mentioned my backup idea in an email, my supervisor didn't even acknowledge it so I guess that's a hard no!!

I've also completely changed my dissertation topic and had to re-write a new proposal and send it to a different supervisor (the one I'm corresponding with about my PhD proposal). Unfortunately, this supervisor is atrocious at responding to emails, so it's been two weeks so far and haven't heard anything about my new diss proposal. Bear in mind, the reply policy for the uni is 48 hours. So I have a feeling I'm also just going to have to forge on ahead with this disseration with minimal help from the supervisor.

Luckily, I guess, I did well enough in the first term that I only have to average 65% in my assesments this term to get over 70% overall.

My article/chapter/book reading backlog for the course is now immense, as I'm reading for weekly tutorials, my PhD proposal, the essay due in May, and the dissertation.

Oh and I did I mention I work full time as well?

#it's chaos girls #honestly the longer this PhD thing drags on the less enthusiastic I am for it #he also didn't respond to the email I sent asking for advice on several points BEFORE I sent my draft proposal #I don't think I want to have a supervisor that requires 3 follow up emails over 3 months to respond #Don't feel like I've got huge support for the essay or dissertation either so I guess it's up to me to figure it out!#love it #postgrad #gothic #phd #studying

Sent the third draft of my PhD proposal to my potential supervisor yesterday. Still have the urge to chicken out, but I just gotta forge ahead. Uni is back tomorrow (12th) so I'm not expecting him to reply for a few weeks.

Got 75% for my dissertation proposal, which is nice. Still not convinced that's gonna be my final topic, but we'll see!

Also working on the third draft of my PhD proposal (forcing myself not to chicken out of applying this time).

#academic things going well #work very busy #but not unmanageable #one more week until I'm off for a fortnight for Christmas!

Guess who put their back out 10 mins into their gym workout and now can barely move.

#excellent #I lowered myself slowly and painfully to the floor #and can’t move now #guess I’ll just sit here for an hour #and somehow get to work

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