Brains, beauty & brawn

William Fudge | Seventh Year | Ravenclaw Don't fuck with me and don't fuck with my sister.

[masonmckinnon]

It’s gone now, thank Merlin or — You too, God. I thank you. Scared me half to dea— Shit.

[grandfatherwillow]

Nice save.

[masonmckinnon]

Could have sworn I caught wind of Jason’s voice.

[grandfatherwillow]

What? You sure?

[jdawlish]

Me too.

[caradocdearborned]

Mostly I just miss fucking with you when you sleep.

[grandfatherwillow]

Always knew there was something weird happening on that side of the dorm....

[caradocdearborned]

Honestly, I don’t think they give a toss about me, and that might be the most frustrating part. I don’t want to feel expendable, and that’s about all I feel—so I’d rather yell in the middle of the goddamn fucking street then continue admitting that.

How did this happen? How the fuck did we go so far from the happiest years of our lives to this shite? Why didn’t we see this coming?

[testeraccount123]

Jason Denbright is not impressed. Jason Denbright says you fools should have listened to him back in school and not have been so unruly. Jason Denbright says if you had respected the ladies and done right by your grandparents none of this would have happened. Jason Denbright says y’all goons need to chill because he doesn’t like his ravenbros to be sad. 

[jdawlish]

[masonmckinnon]

[grandfatherwillow]

Who are you trying to spy on now?

[banksofsadie]

I don’t either.

[ahshafiq-deactivated20151122]

Eva. No, no, no—

It’s the woman.

[masonmckinnon]

Eva? That’s her name, is it? You know her Ainsley? Eva! Hey, Eva!

[evamerriweather]

Huh? Oh my— oh my god— oh, fu—shite. Oh my god. This is—

E, they’re calling your name! I haven’t met them. Do you know them? Let’s say hi! HI!! HULLO!!

Erm. Hello, there. And what’s your name, little Miss?

[banksofsadie]

Oh no.

[ahshafiq-deactivated20151122]

Is that— that means there’s someone else?

[masonmckinnon]

Yes, Ainsley, it means another one, maybe mo— Someone’s coming through right now. Should we…?

[evamerriweather]

What happened to your hair, sweet girl? It’s so short, now!

I made it like yours! It’s short, here. 

[grandfatherwillow]

Shit. I don’t know who it was- the woman or the little girl.

[masonmckinnon]

So he can ho-ho-ho.

I can hear the munchkin calling my name again. If you need help navigating around here, Will’s your best bet, Ainsley. Thanks for the update on Doug and I’m sorry that you’re here.

[banksofsadie]

That was good. I’m surprised I didn’t know that one actually. Santa’s much more than a fat bloke who gives gifts though. He’s a whole shitload of hope for kids, really. 

[ahshafiq-deactivated20151122]

Thank you, Mason. Have fun with your brother. How is a fat bloke who gives presents hope? Does he- I don’t even know, really. 

[grandfatherwillow]

I haven't really figured that part out either. But I guess if it's about getting presents once a year, I'd probably be pretty damn hopeful too. 

[masonmckinnon]

How is Doug doing? Nice to meet you, even under these circumstances. Everything Will’s said is true. I don’t even know how long I’ve been here. Could only be days, could be years. However, one thing’s for certain. You never think about the time. You’re miraculously patient.

Why does Santa have three gardens?

[banksofsadie]

I was meant to go to Hogwarts soon. I don’t even know if they’re there or not. Shit, I hope Penny got captain. She wanted that, I think. It’s surprisingly not boring up here, though. You would think since you can’t hear or see anything, but there’s plenty to do. Sort of. 

Why?

[ahshafiq-deactivated20151122]

I’ve never been patient and I don’t want to start-

Agrippa. I’m sorry. There’s nothing any of you can do about any of this, and- Doug was- he was okay, I think. Considering. Wait, who’s Santa? Is that- that’s the muggle Christmas bloke, yeah?

[grandfatherwillow]

I'll teach you whatever it is you want to learn from Hogwarts, Banks. Trust me, I had good marks. 

Yeah, Santa's the fat bloke that brings all the kids presents on Christmas. But that's not the joke I taught Martin. Go on then, why's he got three gardens?

[masonmckinnon]

You’ll never guess what joke Martin just made— Oh, I’m Mason. Mason McKinnon.

[banksofsadie]

Chonsey’s the only one I actually knew when I came up here. Sorry. Hi, Mason. We have, um, a new person. Ainsley.

[ahshafiq-deactivated20151122]

I worked with your brother. Doug. I was a Hit Witch. I- nice to-

But we can’t- everything back- we can’t see any of it? And we just- we wait? For everyone else we love to join us up here?

[grandfatherwillow]

S'okay Banks. What, Mason? Was it the one about Santa? 

Sorry, this is probably overwhelming. So the deal is, yeah- what you just said. Sort of. I mean, it's not waiting like you probably know waiting. Time doesn't really pass in the same way here. Sometimes it's fast and other times- well, you lose track of it. But no. You're right about the other part. Can't see anything. Can't hear anything. 

[banksofsadie]

I saw my old pet dog earlier. Poor Chonsey.

[ahshafiq-deactivated20151122]

Last year. It was the end of August, 1978. Last I- Anyway. Last year. And I’m not that fond of Rosier either, honestly- what?

[grandfatherwillow]

Right. A year ago, then...

What?

[banksofsadie]

[ahshafiq-deactivated20151122]

Were you a trainee, Will? To be an Auror?

So- how does this- how does it work, then?

[grandfatherwillow]

Yeah, I was. For a few months at least. Last year, I think? 1977, whenever that was. Before Evan Rosier got to me, fucking prick.

Well... you're just kind of here. It's not really- you kind of just exist. It's neither here nor there. There are people around if they've died too. Found my parents when I first got here. That was a shock. You can't see what you left behind though. What's happening where you left behind.

[banksofsadie]

I’m Sadie Banks. Mason McKinnon is somewhere around here, maybe. Who knows, actually.

[ahshafiq-deactivated20151122]

Doug’s brother. I’m- I was a Hit Witch. My brother, my dad, too, they’re- oh Agrippa, they’re- they’re-

I’m sorry. It’s nice to meet you both.

[grandfatherwillow]

Yeah, that's right. I think he's probably with Martin right now but he'll be around. Hit Witch. I thought you looked familiar.

Don't apologize. It's not easy. None of it is. 

[banksofsadie]

What’s your name?

[ahshafiq-deactivated20151122]

I should’ve started there, shouldn’t I? Ainsley. Ainsley Heloise Shafiq. 

[grandfatherwillow]

Will Fudge. 

Shafiq... you're not an Auror are you?

[banksofsadie]

Oh. Hiya. 

[ahshafiq-deactivated20151122]

I was- the former- Travers. I’m dead, aren’t I?

[grandfatherwillow]

Yeah. Unfortunately.

'S not so bad, I promise.

[banksofsadie]

What was that sound?

[ahshafiq-deactivated20151122]

What is this?

[grandfatherwillow]

Someone new, Banks. Hi.

Do you remember what last happened to you?

[grandfatherwillow]

No, it's like this-

Hang on. Did you hear that?

[grandfatherwillow]

Hello.

[banksofsadie]

Oh. How did you end up here?

[grandfatherwillow]

I, uh... didn't get here in the most pleasant of ways.