They Call Me Grandma

My favorite memories.

[grandma-at-24]

Mom Life

It has been a while since I have posted anything on this blog, and well there are several excuses for that, the main one being that LIFE IS FREAKING BUSY!!! Regardless, I have had several blog topic ideas that I would love to post, but all in good timing. Here is the first of hopefully many new posts! I recently became a mommy to the most precious baby boy. He literally has my heart wrapped around his finger! He is amazing, I love watching him grow and develop each and every day! I am writing this post with so many emotions. I am one of very few moms that I know that work, and let me tell you..this is the hardest part of life I have ever experienced. Not only am I exhausted from being a new mom, but going back to work brings on a whole other sense of sleepiness. Our schedule is hectice wake up, drop him off, go to work, pick him up, work on graduate homework (because I can't just do one thing at a time in life), go to t-ball practice/or games, have family dinners, take baths, bible study, spend a second with the hubby, and go to sleep...all to wake up and do the same thing over and over again. I wish I could say Saturdays and Sundays were a little more restful, but those are mostly full of errands and church activities. I am not trying to throw a pity parade here, I am just trying to say that while this is the happiest I have ever been, this is also the most exhausted I have ever been! I envy every stay at home mom (SAHM). I would love to not have to go to work, and get to raise my own child, and have a perfectly clean house 24/7, but that isn't the reality of my life. I am always amazed when I see SAHMs complaining about how the kids are driving them crazy, and how they just need an hour away from the house, and it makes my heart hurt. I wish I could say, I just need an hour away, instead of saying I just wish I could spend more time with my boy. He is growing so fast, and I am terrified that I know the inevitable is that I am going to miss some of those monumental moments. I hate that I am not the one who will get to kiss every boo-boo, or be the first person he sees when he wakes up from a nap. It breaks my heart that my mom takes him on adventures to the zoo or shopping, while I am at work raising other people's children. But that is life and that is where I am now.

[grandma-at-24]

Pet Peeves and Teacher's Pets

As a teacher there are many thinks that brighten and darken our days. I absolutely love probably 80% of this world. There is probably 60% of the world that I could not live without. There is also about 20% of the world that I hate with a passion. So instead of me being a witch on social media and people thinking I am subtweeting/subfacebooking them I am going to put it all in a list. The majority of these items are not from my students, just from people I encounter. Pet Peeves (the 20%) 1. People who feel they deserve something from live (entitlement) 2. People who think they are fancy...(pretentious) 3. People who want handouts 4. People who ask my mom to do anything for them because they don't have family in town, enough money for whatever, or just feel like she is there mom as well... she's not...so stop 5. ESPN, I do not need to see the same recaps from the day in 27 different opinions.. Tell me the scores and if someone is hurt..other than that your are unnecessary. 6. Students who absolutely do not care. I always ask them if you don't care about your own life and future why the heck should I care about it. 7. People who constantly tell me how bad drinking diet coke is for me...I can read the same articles you have found, and have...It doesn't scare me. 8. People who are ungrateful 9. People who always have to one up you.... OMG...get over your life. 10. People who think that I am dumb, or that I couldn't possibly be successful or allowed grown up positions. 11. People who judge you for your mistakes or dark times in your life and never move past them even though you are way over it. 12. People who have multiple children, but constantly want other people to watch them or say they need a break from them...uh what? 13. When people say my niece is like me (which she is 100%), but they say it like it's a bad thing 14. People who blog...I know your thinking, hello stupid this is a blog. But it's true. I hate when people blog and then put it on every circuit of social media hoping in their desperation that someone will read it and have an ah-ha moment...No one cares about what you have to say. I know for certain only 3 people (2 students and 1 bff) read my blog and it is because I don't broadcast that I have something to say. I don't even tell them I have written anything until they ask. 15. People who think my school is ghetto or unimportant. 16. People who think that I don't deserve my husband.. 17. People who have an opinion about me at all. 18. Wearing shoes. Why can we not be barefoot all day long? 19. Messy people. 20. People who constantly post/talk about their workout schedule.... I can't. Teacher's Pets (the 80%) I am not going to list all 80 things, but they all deal with my family, friends, Jesus, students, food, and pampering. I wrote this to complain privately.

[grandma-at-24]

Adventure is out there.

I can't believe that another year has come and gone. Soon you will be enjoying the summer, moving out, and moving on in life. I am so excited for you! You have so much potential and I can only hope that you see it as much as I do. I know that without a doubt you will change lives. I know this because you have changed mine. You have taught me that life is an adventure and to never take it too seriously. You were the first student to sit at my desk, and it made me feel so accepted. It made me feel like I could start building relationships with all of you...that you wanted me in your life, and that I needed you in mine. When I think about the beginning of next school year, it brings tears to my eyes to think you won't be sitting with me at my desk, ditching 50% of your classes just to talk to me about the randomness that is life. It honestly breaks my heart. I have loved being your teacher. I have probably learned more from you than you have from me. Thank you for making this the best two years a teacher could ask for. I know that life is going to be so wonderful for you, and that you will do great things. I can't wait to see what is to come. I will miss you tremendously and I hope that you come and visit. Adventure is out there, go find it. I love you 2014.

[grandma-at-24]

Dream big, Little one.

"What do you do when you get everything you wanted But it's not what you wanted after all What do you do when your dreams become reality But deep inside you know they're not enough God, it's so hard living with a longing heart Everything I think I need feels so strangely out of reach So God help me now to understand that this may be how You show me I was made for something more" Francesca Battistelli-"Something More" What do you do when you love what you do, but you know you were made for something more? I absolutely love teaching, there is no doubt in that. I don't know if it is because I am about to be 25 and having a quarter life crisis, but I have recently felt like I am wasting my potential. No, I am not saying that I am a horrible teacher...I am great, if I do say so myself :), but I feel like I could be used better in another position. I want to change the world of education for my school. I want to move mountains in my school. Change the culture, set the standard. So how do I do all of this? Go back to school? Change the culture of my classroom? Pick up more extracurriculars, so that I can change things from the inside out? What do I do? Thinking and thinking of a solution, I did what I tell my kids to do..make a plan with purpose. Here's my plan for the next 5 years (or less)-all the while teaching and continuing my leadership positions at school. -Start on my masters in Ed. Leadership this summer -Complete masters by next fall -Break for a year---maybe have a baby! -Start on my PhD in Ed. Leadership Administration -Complete my PhD by 2019 or 2020 -Have an administrative position by the time I am 30. I can do this. Dream big, Little one.

[grandma-at-24]

Selfie Sunday

Since it is my birthday month, and I noticed I've had some pretty heavy topics lately...I decided to do a silly post. 50 things about me! If you don't care...I will have another post in a few! 1. I have been married for 1.5 years on the 29th 2. I celebrate my birthday every day of March 3. I hate all animals except for fish 4. I have been a licensed barber for 5 years 5. I finished college in 3.5 years 6. I am a music junkie 7. I love to watch make-up tutorials on youtube 8. I have 3 nieces 9. I had my first surgery when I was 18 months old 10. Teaching is my passion 11. I am extremely selfish and hate to share 12. My church prayed over my mom every sunday while she was pregnant with me because I came after the death of my brother. 13. I love to sing, and I have been in 3 musicals 14. I can read a 700 page book in 6 hours (and do often) 15. I love to shoot guns 16. Jennifer Lawrence is my soul sister 17. I bought my wedding dress before I was engaged 18. I cry when I think about my seniors leaving me 19. Taco Bell and Chicken Express were the best ideas ever 20. My grandpa invented the machine that produces twist ties 21. I have had OCD since 2005 22. My longest dating relationship is 5 years 23. I want a baby more than I want my next breath 24. I have 10 best friends 25. I teach ballet in London during the summers 26. My husband played college baseball 27. I was in a sorority 28. I have seen every episode of Glee 29. I only want one child 30. I could swim in the ocean, lake, pool until I turn into a raisin. I am half mermaid 31. If I could redo college I would go to med school and become a reconstructive surgeon or neurosurgeon 32. I want to eat/encapsulate my placenta 33. I was put on anti-depressants as a teen to slow the functions of my brain 34. I have had 4 stomach surgeries, 2 ENT surgeries, and 1 mouth surgery 35. I never match 36. I drink almost a half gallon of diet coke daily 37. My first concert was Hanson, and we got to babysit their little brother and sister because my mom was friends with their manager 38. I want to be a Disney Princess at Disney World 39. I think there are only 7 people that read my blog--thanks babies 40. I treat my students like family 41. I love to paint 42. My daily diet consists of fruit loops, candy, chicken, cheese, and diet coke 43. People typically hate me when they first meet me, and I don't usually like them either 44. I don't like to wear my hair down because it is crazy fine and makes my face look big 45. I want to go to Australia 46. I only talk to three people I graduated high school with 47. I love rap music 48. I cried when Derek Jeter announced he was retiring after this season--Yankee girl for life 49. I can't take naps or I won't sleep at night 50. I like to dip peanut butter sandwiches into a big glass of milk So there you go, you know more about me than I do! Enjoy!

[grandma-at-24]

Sticks and Stones.

We have all heard the same expression "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Words are very powerful creatures. They have the power to hurt, help, and ultimately leave people changed forever. When I was younger, I allowed the words of others to control my life. Their mean words became the way I viewed myself. As a teen, I became very mean to the world on the outside. I joined in on the cruel jokes made about my body and I would make fun of others in hopes that the attention would be off of me...I would then go home and cry like a baby because I knew that I was hurting someone the same way I was being hurt. As an adult, I have learned to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. And I am now to a point in my life, that I do not care what people think about my appearance, but I am still slightly concerned about what people think about my brain. You see, I have never been the "smart one" of my family, and for some reason, despite having a higher GPA than all of them, I was the "dumb one" of all of my friends too. I never understood why? My family is full of smart smarty pants, but I never did anything differently to be considered dumb. I had a hard time in elementary school, but once I got the hang of life, I survived it. Nothing mattered, whatever I did, in the eyes of my family I wasn't smart enough. It's amazing to me that I still care what they think, but I guess you never stop trying to impress your family. But in the words of my kids "haters gonna hate". Details Spared. Point of this blog..... The past few weeks at school we have had several fights that have occurred because of words said... It makes no sense to me, but it matters to these students. After one of the fights, I asked the attacker why she started this, all she had to say was "because she was running her mouth". MIND BLOWN, I told her that it was completely socially unacceptable to punch a girl because she was talking, and that you can't attack someone just because they think badly of you..you are proving them right when you react like a crazy person. I learned a valuable lesson talking to this girl, words can change a person. They can change a person's view of life, career goals, and the value they place on themselves. Not that I didn't already know the power of a word, but I guess I had stopped caring so much that I suppressed their power. Words can make you or break you, but the good news is that, that is your decision. You have the choice to either break down because of what is said or use each word as a block to build you up. And while you should guard your mouth, because it's just bad manners to say rude things--when rude things are said to you or about you, don't allow them to affect you. I am almost completely callous to the thoughts others place on me, and I love having that power over them. They can't break me. So girls, boys, women, and men shout it from the roof tops---STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME.

[grandma-at-24]

What is Life?

I want to leave a legacy, how will they remember me. Did I choose to love? 

This past week, a student of mine had a very deep question...What is the purpose of life? Well the truth is, I am not a very philosophical. I simply told this student that life is what you make it. The purpose is to live and love and change the lives that you encounter. I thought that it was a good enough answer, but then I started thinking... Is that all it really is? As the week progressed, a very inspirational woman that I have known for most of my life past away. It wasn't until her funeral that I think I came up with an answer. Live, Love, and Be Remembered. 

Here's my philosophy about life:  (I couldn't share this at school because I don't want to get fired, but my students can read this now...and I pray they get it.)

I am a Christian, but I am not stereotypical. I believe in the love and sacrifice of Christ, and I believe the power of convictions. I know for certain that I am saved by the Grace of God. With this knowledge I know that "life" is endless. Yes, earthly life is short, but eternal life is well...eternal. So my purpose is broken into three parts, that aren't unlike what I told my student--but way deeper. 

1. The purpose of life is to live.

--YOLO, (you only live once), is a huge expression among today's teenagers. I have a completely different view of what it means though. For most kids that I know YOLO is about doing whatever feels right...party all night...smoke all day...sleep with whomever. -I'm tired just thinking about that life.. For me YOLO means to look at life everyday as an adventure. Learn as much as you can, travel everywhere, look around and know that God gave you this beautiful earth as a playground...go discover it. Make mistakes, but don't let them control your life. Live and let others live the life they choose. I try really hard not to judge the way people live their lives because I get to be whoever I want, so why shouldn't they. Be yourself, and make no apologies. 

2. The purpose of life is to love. 

--Love can move mountains. Have you ever thought about how different the world would be without hate? Take that in for a minute...   Love people. It seems like a super simple concept, but yet so few have the ability to love people without question. It is bad of me, but I love people until they give me a reason not to. Which isn't what God called me to do, so it is a daily struggle for me to put grudges aside and love. Try and love people--not because they deserve it, but because they need it. 

3. The purpose of life is to be remembered. 

--At my friends funeral, I was so amazed (but not surprised) at how may lives she had influenced. She was 90 years old and never once since I knew her did I ever question her love and sincerity. She was an amazing woman. I thought about how God had put so many people in her path and how He knew that she would make a difference in their lives. I want to be like that. I want for at my funeral for people to talk about how much I loved them and how much I loved life. I want for them to think that every moment they knew me that I was true to myself and to what I believed. I want to leave legacy. I can only hope that I am. 

Live, Love, and Be Remembered

"Live like that" by Sidewalk Prophets 

Sometimes I think What will people say of me When I'm only just a memory When I'm home where my soul belongs Was I love When no one else would show up Was I Jesus to the least of us Was my worship more than just a song I want to live like that And give it all I have So that everything I say and do Points to You If love is who I am Then this is where I'll stand Recklessly abandoned Never holding back I want to live like that I want to live like that Am I proof That You are who you say You are That grace can really change our heart Do I live like Your love is true People pass And even if they don't know my name Is there evidence that I've been changed When they see me, do they see You I want to live like that And give it all I have So that everything I say and do Points to You If love is who I am Then this is where I'll stand Recklessly abandoned Never holding back I want to live like that I want to live like that I want to show the world the love You gave for me I'm longing for the world to know the glory of the King I want to live like that And give it all I have So that everything I say and do Points to You If love is who I am Then this is where I'll stand Recklessly abandoned Never holding back I want to live like that I want to live like that

[grandma-at-24]

Out with the old, In with the new

Resolutions, such a funny word. I hate it. When I think of resolutions all I see is future failures coming my way. That's very pessimistic of me, but I can't help it. I can't even begin to tell you how many resolutions I have made over the years and how few of them I kept. It's ridiculous. So instead of me making a list of resolutions, I have started the last few years writing yearly goals for myself. Here's the difference...a goal is something that you have to sincerely want to change/enhance...a resolution is telling yourself, yeah I think I should do that...there is very little heart about it. Maybe you think it is the exact same thing, and that is perfectly fine...but I completely disagree with you. So enough of the bantering. Here are my goals for this year as a teacher, wife, aunt, child of God, adult....

1. Try to treat everyone the way I would like to be treated.--I have a really hard time liking people in general, or allowing them into my life. This is a goal for me to try and stop judging automatically and give every person the right to be respected. 

2. Stop saying such mean things.--Over the past few years, my guard has been my mouth. I am a very tiny person, so my only defense mechanism is saying crazy hurtful things. Since I am almost 25, I guess it's time to stop with the smart mouth. This will be the hardest goal ever. 

3. Be the change.--No, I am not Ghandi, but I do love his outlook on the world. If there is something that needs to be changed, helped, guarded, or brought into light...I need to take the opportunity and be what the world (my world) needs. 

So there they are.. My goals, applying to all aspects of my life. Bring it on 2014, I am ready for you! 

[grandma-at-24]

Stay True You

You are the best you there ever was. Dr. Seuss 

Being yourself in a world that tells you to constantly change is probably the second hardest part of being a high school student. There are many times that I look back and ask myself if I was true to myself, heck, there are days now that I ask myself that question. I honestly don't know how I became the person I am today, but this is the first time in my life that I am okay with who I am. I am writing this blog with a heavy heart. Today I was asked to watch out for a girl at church because she is starting to lose a lot of weight. You might be wondering why I was asked to keep an eye on her, or you might not..in that case, quit reading. I was asked because for 5 years I battled eating disorders and body image issues. I hated myself. Hate isn't even the right word, I loathed myself.

I had always thought that I was too big for my height (mostly because mean boys told me that I was), but it wasn't until the 8th grade that I started to think about changing it. I remember everything so vividly. We had a cookie bake off for extra credit in my social studies class and we had to sample like 10 different cookies to pick a winner...anyways...a girl in my class said to me, that is a lot of food, we should try to throw some of it up...and then my love affair with bulimia began. It was so addicting. I did not throw up after every meal, but every time I thought that I over ate I would go get my spoon (my fingers were too short), and throw up whatever would come up. I used to do this thing where I would chew my food and soak up all of the flavor then spit it out to trick my body into thinking it was eating. My mom and sister were the only two that knew I was throwing up, but they had no idea how to help. My mom made me go talk to a counselor, but it wasn't going to change my mind. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn't stop. I loved the control. 

Freshmen year I changed schools (read that story in a previous blog). I gained a little bit of confidence because the boys at my new school liked me, but I still had such a distorted image of what I looked like in my head. Have you ever seen a therapist ask their client to draw what they look like, and the picture ends up looking nothing like the person..well that was me. I thought that I looked and weighed 300 pounds, when in all actuality I weighed 130 at most. I bought clothes that were super baggy because I didn't want anything to be form fitting. My jeans were always super big in the waist because I didn't want anything to bulge over. Sophomore-Junior year, I found this herbal colon cleansing vitamin (aka laxative). You were supposed to take one a week to keep your system in check, well I took 7 a day. Not a good thing. I'll spare you the details. I stopped everything for a little bit. My body was pretty damaged from all I had put it through. I was somewhat happy with myself, until the end of my senior year (read more about that in High School Sweethearts). When someone leaves you for someone else, it is the most crushing thing ever. Depression is another thing that I constantly battle, and what had happened was too much for me to deal with. I stopped living. I quit eating (except the bag of peanut m&ms I would eat at lunch), and I was very suicidal. My biggest fear had come true--I was not good enough for someone, he wanted someone else. (PS I married this boy that broke my heart!) Before all of this stress and heartache began, I weighed like 120, at the end of my senior year I barely weighed 90 pounds. 5'5" and 90 pounds--you could count most of the bones on my body, but I couldn't bring myself to get better...I didn't care anymore. My dead spirit lasted until July. God really worked on me the summer before I started college. He was everything I needed, and I grew so much in my walk with Him. Long story short, I still have to work on loving myself everyday, but have the tools I need now (thanks to therapy and Jesus) to get through the rough days. 

I hate when I see girls struggle with their body image. It is something we all do, but I wish that no one has to go through the hatred of self that I went through. It's such a hard life to live. I hope and pray that the girl I was asked to watch isn't hurting herself and I hope all of the girls in my life know that they are beautifully and wonderfully made. Loving yourself is hard, but you will never truly be able to love other people until you do. 

[grandma-at-24]

This is the day.

Beep...Beep...Beep 6:45 am has arrived. It is the first day of school and even though I am the adult in the situation, I am so nervous. Before I leave the house, I read my two favorite quotes- "Wake up and be awesome" and "You were born with the ability to change someone's life, don't ever waste it." I said a prayer and I left for work. A million things rush through my head as I'm driving. Are they going to like me? Will they learn anything from me? Will I be a better teacher this year? Question after question after fear after doubt. And then the first bell rings...I have 5 minutes to get it together, put on my brave face and be awesome. 

This is the day to make a difference. 

This is my second year of teaching, so I had a little less anxiety because I knew there would be a few familiar faces waiting for me! The day flew by-----reading the handbook---making jokes----reading the handbook---telling a little bit of my life---reading the handbook. The day had successfully ended. The second day I had created a powerpoint completely about me and my wonderful life. I talk about my family nonstop in my classes and I wanted my students to see the real me. I took a lot of crap for that powerpoint, but I knew that it was important to me so I needed to do it. I created my powerpoint after my first week last year because most of my students thought that I was a total snob. What most of them didn't realize was that it was all a show. It was a defense mechanism. Teaching is a lot like acting. Fake it 'til you make it. If I acted like I was better than them, maybe they would believe it...that totally did not work! If you've read my previous blog A year was all it took, then you know how much I absolutely love my kids and how much I try to be everything that they need. 

After my first year, I realized how important first impressions are. It is absolutely everything. Having six classes, a lot of first impressions and vibes were shown. I could tell which kids would like me and my class, I could tell which student would not care to learn anything from me, and I could tell which students would make my job so difficult. As the days have passed some of the first impressions that I caught have stayed true, and others were completely opposite of what I thought was going to happen. Going into this year my goal was to start out as the real me. The weird, awkward, loud, sarcastic person that I am. I also told myself that I would work harder to love all of my students, not just my favorites (any teacher that says they don't have favorites is a liar.) I often forget that I could possibly be the only smile, hug, or encouraging word some of my kids receive. This is something I have to remind myself everyday. Even if I have a hundred other things to worry about I try to listen to every story, answer each question, and give the advice my babies need at that moment. A teacher is not allowed to have one life, they have hundreds. My students are my life. When they fail, I fail; when they hurt, I hurt; and when they succeed, I am so proud. 

I hope that I can stay true to my goal and true to myself. I hope their first impression of me is that they know I want to make a positive difference in their life. I don't care if they learn anything from my class, just as long as they learned that I love them.

[grandma-at-24]

High School Sweethearts.

"It's your freshman year and you're gonna be hereFor the next four years in this townHoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say"You know, I haven't seen you around before" 'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love youYou're gonna believe themAnd when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure outWell, count to ten, take it inThis is life before you know who you're gonna be fifteen" 

Fifteen by Taylor Swift

One of my favorite things about teaching high school students is hearing about all of their love stories! Whether it is a break up or or sweet little crushes, I become the heir of listening. And I love it! It always takes me back to when I was in high school... Yes, I was the crazy girl that as soon as I dated someone, I would obsess over them. As the years have past and I have gotten slightly more mature, I have been wondering why do high school girls (or girls in general really) give so much of their self and heart away to every boy that gives them the slightest bit of attention. IF YOU ARE A BOY READ THIS CAREFULLY... The way I see it there are 4 types of girls in the world of dating.

1. The crazy obsessive possessive girlfriend- She's the girl who calls you 15 times in a row and then texts you accusing you of cheating on her because you have been MIA for the last five minutes, when really you were taking a shower or talking to your mom. This girl will stalk your social media life, and read all of your text messages. There is an upside to this girl, she is crazy enough to kill someone that is mean to you. She loves you so much, the only way she knows how to show you is to be a stage five clinger. BEWARE. 

2. The bossy supportive cheerleader girlfriend- This girl loves everything about you and will praise everything you do like you are the first person to invent toast. She brags about you all the time, you are her idol. Which doesn't sound all that bad, until she becomes like a bossy mother to you. She makes sure you have your homework turned in and makes sure you have stretched properly before your big game. When she starts to order your food for you when you are out to dinner...RUN. 

3. The giver girlfriend- She loves to buy you whatever you want, which is awesome...but that's not all she gives. She is the girl who throws herself and her money around like it's nothing. Not only does this show that she doesn't respect material things, but she doesn't respect herself. She will give every last bit of herself in hopes that the boy will stay a little longer. She is desperate for love. TREAD CAUTIOUSLY.

4. The cool "one of the guys" girlfriend- She is the ideal girlfriend. She is chill, she has friends of her own, she gets along great with your friends, and she has a genuine interest in what is going on in your life. She is slow to give of herself and quick to put an end to your crap. You were friends before you started dating, which in my opinion is how all relationships should start. The two downsides to having this girl as your girlfriend is that 1. when you break up, it will be very hard to become friends again, and 2. the majority of your guy friends will want to bang her and they will tell you this daily. If your guy friends try to make a move on this girl she will either blow them off or blow them, so set up some boundaries. 

Now girls I know what you are saying.. "This crazy lady has got it all wrong, I am nothing like any of those girls." Maybe you aren't, but I guarantee at the very least you are a mixture of one of these profiles. I will be the first to admit, I am a mixture of all of them. Lets take a walk down memory lane.....This is the story of my love life (so if you don't care...that is rude, but I guess fast forward to THIS IS FOR THE LADIES)

Freshman Year-I was the new girl coming into school in the middle of the year. It was a much smaller school than I had previously been to, so it wasn't surprising when I was the hottest news on campus. That being said, I was something new and the boys noticed. It was very strange to me because I had never really had attention from boys at school before that, and I think that went to my head! I talked to 4 different boys before Spring Break, and then I got my first real boyfriend! I was smitten, and fell head over heels for this boy! Since he was my first boyfriend, I was super obsessive and possessive. He was a baseball player, so I also became a super cheerleader to him, and I was friends with him before we dated and friends with his friends too, so I became the topic of most of his friends conversations. We broke up that summer, and dated on and off for the next three years, but we always kept our friendship first...especially when I started dating his best friend our senior year! 

Sophomore Year-I like to call this the lost year... I don't know if it was because I had just gotten out of my first relationship or what, but I was a total SLUT. Not a slut that sleeps with everyone (I said slut not whore), but a make-out/hook-up slllluuuuttttt. I didn't care if we were dating, or if you said you liked my outfit..within five minutes you were mine. I gave a little bit of myself to whoever wanted it (unless you were ugly..then no). This was the year that I had a much older boy sneak into my window almost every night. When I got caught, I was slightly relived that I didn't have to lie anymore, but I was pissed at my friend that told on me. This was a bad year for me. 

Junior Year-The summer before my jr. year of I started dating this guy from church. I was 16, and here's the kicker...he was 14. People hated on me so bad for dating someone so young, but I didn't care. He was beautiful, kind, treated me right, and after the year I had just had, I needed someone that I could control and know that he wouldn't take advantage of me. His parents didn't like that we were together because I was so much older, but we stuck it out for almost a year. I was still a little obsessive possessive in this relationship, but I was so grateful to have a boyfriend that never expected me to do anything or become something that I was not comfortable with. We broke up right before prom, and I went back to my freshman year boyfriend. During this year, my choir and I performed at Walt Disney World. Long story short, my freshman year boyfriend was a jerk during that trip and I started to fall for his best friend. 

Senior Year- Best year of my high school life. It all started when we were told what our high school musical would be. Da da da dahhh High School Musical!!! We were told to go home and watch it before auditions, so I invited all of our friends to come over and watch it. Well one thing lead to another and it ended up being me and my friend Brandon watching the movie. The movie ended and I was somehow in his arms. WWWEEEEIIIIRRRDDD, or planned? Um hello, planned. I am one manipulative little girl! I had told him how I had started to have feelings for him while we were at Disney World, and I had kind of sent all of our friends a message that we weren't going to watch the movie that night! Him being my freshman year boyfriend's best friend, called him and basically asked permission to date me. Precious! So we were together! This was the best most dramatic experience of high school. We were perfect for each other, but a lot of people did not want us to stay together (JERKS). So we were together and then had the worst break-up known to man. I'll spare you the details, but it was bad. So then, I was heartbroken and needed space from all of my high school friends. 

That summer, I removed myself from everyone. And I grew. I became who I had wanted to be for the longest time-HAPPY. 

College- I went back to Brandon my freshman year of college, became super selfish because I thought he was putting college baseball ahead of me and I cheated on him. I dated that other guy for a year, and realized I had become the crazy girl from high school. So I broke up with him and called Brandon. And we lived happily ever after. 

So girls, I have been them all. And it is okay to admit to yourself that you are one of them. Relationships are not all about crazy girls though, there are also issues with boys. THIS IS FOR THE LADIES. 

Boys will always have the stereotype of only being in a relationship to have sex with a girl. I don't think that is completely true, yes sex is always on their mind, but like girls boys are three types. 

1. Mr. Needy- They need you to talk to them, retweet them, text them immediately, and be around them most of the time. They are a rare breed, but they exist. Girls do not think that you have to stay with this guy because he is borderline suicidal. GET OUT!!! 

2. Mr. Cool-He says all the right things, always looks the right way, is a PLAYER, and very good at getting what he wants. Listen ladies, just because he is the quarterback, it does not mean that he is the most perfect person in the entire world. OPEN YOUR EYES.

3. The Best Friend- A lot of times girls completely overlook the guys they are friends with because they are actually treating them the right way, and we as women think that when a boy treats you right he has no interest in dating you... we are STUPID. As I have gotten older, I see now that the guy that you are closest with will be the best fit for you. But again, if you date and break up, be careful with putting the friendship back together. 

My main point for this blog is to dissect high school relationships and figure out why so many of my students find themselves in love and then heartbroken. And I think I have it figured out for the most part...Everyone wants to feel important and loved. So as good as dating in high school can be, the most important thing is to protect your heart and please stop giving so much of it away to people that don't deserve it. 

[grandma-at-24]

When I grow up...

Many think that the point of schooling is to figure out what you want to become when you grow up. Do you remember when you were little and people would ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up-answers like a princess, a rockstar, and  sometimes the President were our choices. They asked us again when we were a little older-we gave them real jobs this time: a doctor, a lawyer...in my case I still wanted to be a princess. Then you get into high school and suddenly they want a real answer. What do you want to be when you grow up?

I thought my senior year that I had nailed down my choice of becoming a nurse. I started college as a nursing major, and then changed to History education, and then changed to Family Life education, and then dropped out of college completely to go to Hair School. And this was just my Freshman year of college...I received my barber's license and decided that I needed to go back to school. Barbering will always be my "plan B", but until I needed it I wanted a career with a predictable salary. So I went back and finished college two and a half years later. I became a FACS teacher and I have loved every minute of it, but there is still a part of me that wonders if I would like a different career more. I am starting my masters within the next year, so that I can become a counselor, but then I would like to have my PhD and become a principal or teach on the college level. I would also like to write a book, be a world traveler, and I still think it would be nice to be a princess. So what do I want to be when I grow up? I have no idea. The better question is when do you really stop growing up?

I think a little differently than most people on the view of schooling. I think the purpose of school is not to figure out what you want to become, but rather who you want to become when you grow up. In every school there are cliques: preps, jocks, band nerds, smarties, choir kids, dramatic drama people, emos, stoners, goths, the list is endless. My mom always told me that you become who you are around.. I never understood that statement until I started teaching.

When I look around my classroom, I automatically can figure out who is friends with whom without even knowing their name. Call it intuition, but it's really just good people watching. Each group has the same characteristics: 1. they dress the same (even the emos that claim to dress that way for individuality) 2. they like the same entertainment 3. they have the same views on things. Once you know one person from a group, you know them all. I love that. I think that it is good to try out groups and experiment with which group you belong to when you are in high school. High school is the time to make mistakes and to figure out what direction in life you want to take. College is good too, but make the most mistakes in high school because you are a minor, and can get in way less trouble!! (you did not hear that from me!) By the end of high school, you should be able to really focus on who you are going to be for the next 80 years. 

I have heard from many of my seniors on what they have decided to do with their life, and I am just so proud. Going to college, joining the Navy, joining the Marines, starting off in the workplace-they know what they will be doing! I have to wonder though, have they decided who they will be. They don't have to decide right this second, but soon they will see that there are some parts of their lives that have to be left in high school. They can't be high schoolers in an adult world..it just doesn't work like that. Many will lose friends, and gain new ones that fit into the lifestyle they will be living..and that is ok. It is ok to change and grow, that is what life is about. You will always have your high school memories, but don't let them keep you from making new ones. Another thing my mom would always tell me is to be the best person you can be, and the best people will be beside you. Take that in. 

So I am asking you kids, who do you want to be when you grow up?

[grandma-at-24]

Sweet Moments

"They may forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel." –Carol Buchner

I wish more people would realize that teaching students isn't about making them learn something new, it is about making them see that they have the ability to succeed. My kids come from all walks of life. Really hard home lives to very privileged ones. My heart breaks for my students who have to work to help pay their parents bills and for my students who are treated like they don't matter at home. It literally makes me want to adopt them all. How are they supposed to believe in themselves if no one believes in them? Breaks my heart. I always tried to be a supportive teacher and friend to all of my students because I know that it only takes one person to change someone's life. My kids are some of the best people that I know, and they deserve to have someone help them. We are there for each other. I have had so many moments where I am overwhelmed with how caring they can be. I will never forget how special they made me feel. 

Plato said it best, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

Out of the kindness of their hearts my kids spoiled me this year! As a teacher's daughter I was never surprised when I saw mass amounts of flowers, candy, apples, etc. when it was her birthday or a holiday. Although, I had rarely seen these acts of kindness done for high school teachers. Little kids love to impress their teachers, big kids typically want to just finish the day. My kids are a rare breed! 

Valentine's day (which is my favorite holiday), they brought me chocolate covered strawberries, candy bars, diet cokes, chocolates, and my favorite marshmallows!

That is nothing compared to my birthday!!! I celebrate my birthday all month long. Since I was born on the last day, I feel that it's only fair that everyday is a party! Three of my students brought me the most precious birthday gifts I have ever received!! A huge gift bag full of my favorites: popcorn, starburst, diet coke, and easy mac as well as a huge pink basket full of more favorites: sour patch kids, more diet coke, more popcorn, more easy mac!! I'm kind of a fat kid at heart! They will never know how special all of that made me feel! Best birthday yet! 

Mid April-the end of May, this was the hardest month I have had in many many years. I honestly can say that if I did not have my students, I would be in a much darker place than I am now. My grandpa, is the most amazing man I will ever know. He was 94, (turning 95 in mid April) and you could just tell that we wouldn't have him for much longer. When we realized this I created sub plans for a month, just in case I would have to leave work at a moments notice. My kids were great. Everyday they would ask me how he was doing and how my family was. So precious. He passed away on a Monday, three days after one of my best friends moved to Washington DC, and the same week both of my "little sisters" were in very traumatic wrecks. It was a week that needed to end. I was gone from school for two days to prepare for the funeral, and when I returned I was greeted with the most precious hugs and words of encouragement from my babies. I needed to see them. When I was with my kids, all of the hurt and sadness I felt went away. They entertained me with their silly stories and weirdness! I'm a sucker for weirdos! My kids and my precious husband got me through that week. 

The last day of school, I threw a party for my student organization...which turned into none of them going to class and hanging out with me all day! I didn't mind, I knew that my time with them was running out..if i got in trouble it would be worth it! Again being a spoiled teacher, one of my faves brought me sour patch kids and diet coke! Love that kid! 

If I could teach everyone one thing, it would be to become the person that changes someone's life. Invest in people and allow them to invest in you. Your life will be changed because of it! 

[grandma-at-24]

In the theme of being tech savvy; I've started a blog. tumblr.com/blog/grandma-at-24

[grandma-at-24]

A year was all it took.

It is hard for me to believe that my first year as a teacher has come to a close. I have to say, this has been one of the best years of my life. From being engaged, getting my first job at my dream school, greeting my 120 students, getting married, growing a program, buying our first house, and watching my loves walk across the stage...life has been wonderful. This year has taught me a lot as well. People need to feel loved and accepted, they need encouragement and respect, they need help and advice...I love that I got to become something to so many. I am not one to let people in, but these students have become my babies. If you could have a perfect year as a teacher, I think I've had it. 

Reflecting back on this year, I have decided to write it all down...thus this blog. If people read this, I hope they know how many emotions a teacher goes through in a day and how much the majority of us love our job. You might also wonder why my blog is named "They Call Me Grandma", long story short I am 24, but I act like a grandma. I sew  and knit, drink diet coke, and one of my students nicknamed me grandma and it just stuck. I will be extremely sad if I am not called grandma next year! This blog isn't for other people though, this is for me. For me to look back on all of my trials and accomplishments, and to use as a reminder of what is important to me. I will be changing the names of students in my stories because of confidentiality, but I will always know them in my heart. 

My First Year (in a nutshell)

I remember the first day of school like it was yesterday. As I stood in the doorway waiting for my students to arrive, I talked with some of the faculty around me. Soon a couple of them would become my very good friends. My first hour was a class full of freshmen...the death of me...As I read the handbook, they stared at me like a deer in headlights. You could see their nerves rushing through them as they had just left the security of middle school and were now the babies at a big high school. I think our nerves calmed each other though, I knew that if they could have a successful day then so could I. The rest of my classes were an upperclassmen mixture. I loved that. People feeding off of each others energy is a wonderful thing to watch. Sophomores trying to act more mature because there are seniors in the class or a senior girl giggling because she has a crush on a sophomore. LIfe as a high-schooler is a fun thing to watch.

Before I knew it, it was Christmas break. My first semester was over. I was so proud of myself, but also devastated. Being an elective teacher, my students change at the semester. So I was starting over, and I was nervous all over again. Luckily I had built a rapport with a lot of students who were returning to my class, and after having me once a lot of students changed their schedule to have one of my classes again! I loved feeling loved! So we returned from break and I awaited my new group of babies. Second semester was full of extra activities. Baseball games, soccer playoffs, my student organization activities, and to top it off I volunteered to help with graduation. I am so happy I did that. It bought me some precious moments with my students that I wouldn't have been granted otherwise. I have never felt more like a mom (or grandma), then during graduation. I was the first person they saw when they got to the arena, and the first person they saw after they were officially graduates. As I watched my first group of babies walk across the stage each one reminded me of a silly moment we had shared together or a trial I had helped them work through. Then I would tell myself, "Look at them, they did it! They have everything they need to be successful! They did it!" As they walked out of the arena, they gave me a huge group hug and at that moment I knew that I needed them as much as they needed me. I kept it together, never let them see you cry..I made it to my car and on the way home cried like a baby. The last two weeks of school flew bye, and before I knew it the last day of school had arrived. I was so happy for them! All of their hard work had paid off and they were done! Hopefully they will come visit or I will see them out and about, but in any case I wish them the very best and I know they will succeed at whatever they decide to do! 

I can't wait to continue this blog as I continue my career! I will never forget that it only took a year for me to fall in love with my job and to fall in love with 200+ students.

All it took was a year.