Born Old

just a grumpy old fart with opinions and words

[pervocracy]

Sister: “I always wanted a brother.  So in a kinda selfish way I’m happy.”

well great, now that’s a solid hour of happy tears right there

[pervocracy]

Important Rule:  A science fiction or fantasy author is allowed one, exactly one (1) short story or book chapter that turns out to be nothing more than an elaborate set up for an over-extended pun.  You may write one and only one instance of “And then Ben realized the old saying was true: A Byrd in the Hund really was Wirth-2 in the Busch.”

Write two, and you’re Piers Anthony.

You don’t want to be Piers Anthony.

[grannylyfe]

important

[pervocracy]

I wish the non-marriage-centric salutation for women wasn’t “Ms.”  It sounds like the embarrassed mumble you make when you aren’t sure whether to say “Miss” or “Mrs” so you just split the difference.

[pervocracy]

I wish the non-marriage-centric salutation for women wasn’t “Ms.”  It sounds like the embarrassed mumble you make when you aren’t sure whether to say “Miss” or “Mrs” so you just split the difference.

[grannylyfe]

i’ve always suspected this was the actual etymology of “Ms.” . . . 

[grannylyfe]

[grannylyfe]

fun with serotonin

> start taking effexor > gradually develop serotonin poisoning from high dose > get migraines and hallucinations that don’t go away for days and days at a time > lower dose of effexor  > immediately go into withdrawal  > get flu symptoms for days and days  > well heck

[grannylyfe]

my private version of “the little mermaid”

in my private version of "the little mermaid," the littlest mermaid wins the love of her prince and vows in her heart to marry him though she knows that as long as she has feet not fins they will stab her like a thousand knives upon every footfall and ache her like a thousand burning coals in every resting moment as long as she does not return to the sea _______________________________ in my private version of "the little mermaid" her sisters come swimming to her in the dead of night bald and salty and and shimmering in the starlight and tell her how each one sold her hair to the witch the selfsame witch that took their precious sister's precious voice in payment for her love of a man the witch that took every lock of hair they had for one last chance to get their sister back one last chance shaped like a glittering obsidian dagger _______________________________ and if their littlest sister would only plunge it into this mere and selfish mortal's mere and selfish heart she would find her precious voice restored to her and her burning feet transformed reborn as the lithe cool tail that is properly hers that never once ached or stabbed at her that marked her as what she truly was: a mermaid more than human, far from human, immortal and ageless

_______________________________ and she thanks them and she takes the dagger and she lays it beneath her pillow where she can get at it in the dead of night at the hour her sisters came to her at the hour of the moon she must do her grim deed if the magic is to work rightly _______________________________ and in my private version of "the little mermaid" the littlest mermaid wakes in the morning and marries her prince and throws the dagger back to the sea _______________________________ "we cut off our hair for you," they cried

[grannylyfe]

[grannylyfe]

[grannylyfe]

[grannylyfe]

[grannylyfe]

[grannylyfe]

[grannylyfe]

[grannylyfe]

[grannylyfe]

none of these words or images are mine; i just arranged them all artsy-like

[grannylyfe]

that’s it i’m giving them up for adoption

free to a good home: breasts, one pair. large and somewhat cystic; good condition with some scarring. attractive and well-behaved. simply not suited to their present home. please call 1-555-BOOBS-4-U for more information