don’t @gray-jane - Tumblr Blog

if you didn’t lick a hotspot into your leg and book it under the bed whenever i try to apply soothing spray, you wouldn’t need the goddamn medicated oatmeal baths buddy don’t fuckin glare at me like this i’m trying to help you out

i think the new brand of diet food (the only kind he’s been willing to eat) is fucking with his skin so we’re gonna have to formulate another food plan for the billionth time. i love my fat son but he’s getting older and we need to be careful even though he wants me dead over this

camestela

bliss

fortune cookie thief caught in the act

holy fuck 1776 the musical was right when they said it’s hot as hell in philadelphia

one neighbor said this alleycat was named mama and the other said her name was dirtball. i leave her treats and she leaves me hacked up hairballs and piss in my planters. i think she looks like a watercolor.

gaybichon

i think i found my new favorite artist on twitter

(source)

gaybichon

👆 me

my mom told me she found out that she’s/we’re related to one of the viking bodies found in oxford from the st brice’s day massacre and somehow that brought me to watching a clip of that norwegian soccer player who reminded me of an old cartoon where a smug looking sun blew away clouds but i couldn’t find the animation and ended up watching like an hour of old ub iwerk shorts from the 30s which led me to reading about tropes and memes from the time period and a deep dive on the drama of early animation studios which eventually brought me to scouring the internet for any more biographical information on stephen gammell who did the illustrations for scary stories to tell in the dark and now i’m frustrated cause i can’t find shit that would satisfactorily explain that guys deal.

all in a days work when ur rationing ur adderall

need to find my upstairs neighbor a new man because the one she’s been bringing around lately has an egregiously heel-heavy gait and his stomping is shaking my fucking shelves

nobrashfestivity

Unknown Jar with registers of plant ornament and animals Ptolemaic Period 100–30 B.C. Egypt, Middle Egypt, Tuna el-Gebel Faience H. 14 cm (5 1/2 in.); Dia. 12.5 cm (4 15/16 in.) The Metropolitan Museum of Art

rosieandthemoon

1930's Uranium Glass Perfume Bottle {more}

i made the mistake of using the free delivery coupon that the farther away grocery store offered me. figured it would be nice to have someone drive cause i wanted to avoid hauling some slightly heavier shit the half mile from the closer shop. i just wanted some bulk beverages and it’s hot and i don’t have a wagon or cart.

they charged me $9 for three apples. had to call customer support for a refund because what the fuck. are these magic fucking honey crisps? they’re not even in season! it said $1.00/lb!! i just wanted a baked cinnamony treat!! learned my lesson. i’ll just carry stuff from now on.

watched a couple clips of yellow/red cards at the world cup and the comments from americans are all like “15 yds, automatic first down” “roughing, 2 mins in the box” “take your base” etc and it may be a dumb bit but it still makes me laugh