Xuebing Du
Stranger Things
wallacepolsom
Janaina Medeiros
No title available
tannertan36
macklin celebrini has autism
ellievsbear
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Show & Tell
d e v o n
will byers stan first human second
almost home
#extradirty
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Today's Document
roma★
Product Placement
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Chile
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@greta-van-yeet
gvf discography on shuffle:
song 1: war bad. scary, too :(
song 2: my girl fly like a feather and the feather is the sun and the world and the air and this is also somehow about war
song 3: life altering anthem about queer liberation and self acceptance/expression and confidence through fashion and reclamation of queer identity through religious allegory
song 4: boat
song 5: tim curry "SPACE!".gif
song 6: *guitar solo*
Dawn of Love Masterpost
Josh Kiszka x F! Reader
In Progress
Series Warnings: 18+ related themes will take place further on in the series. Fluff, Jealousy, Family Trauma, Self Doubt, Anxiety, Making out, Arguing, Talks of sex, Illusions to sex, Talk of Virginity, Loss of Virginity, Protected Sex, Oral Sex, Talk of Cancer, Fear of Abandonment, Mention of Death, Cancer Treatment, Death, Unprotected Sex, Heartbreak (will add more as the series goes on.)
A story between two high school friends finding out they have feelings for one another and take a chance at love. But what happens when Greta Van Fleet starts to succeed in their career. Will love suffice or will it become a sacrifice.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Ficthots Masterlist
Hello darling, welcome! This is my master list for all of my writing pieces that I am so dearly proud of. I have many interests and they’re all under one roof here. I’ll try to keep this updated as often as possible. Stop in for a chat, stay for a read, do whatever makes you happy. Again, welcome to all <3
Keep reading
Shotgun
A/N: Okay, another fic that has been 95% completed and I finally got around to wrapping up. PR relationship, drunken wedding, enemies to lovers, all the good stuff. As always let me know what you guys think and enjoy!
Warnings: 18+ content only. DNI if under 18. Smut.
Word Count: 8k+
Strengths and weaknesses make us who we are. They are the foundation of our entire beings and personalities. Concocting in a fashion that swirls around us and presents us to the outside world. Special groups can become world class athletes while others thrive in the arts, presenting world altering pieces to the public. Niche groups of writers can put pen to paper in ways never imagined before, the opposite can be said of mathematicians. Some individuals are wonderful public speakers.
Take your childhood best friend Jake for example. The man thrives on the attention when it settles to him. Putting his best self forward when in the presence of other people Yet, he still utterly despises ninety-nine percent of the general population. It’s why you two got along so well.
Also why you and his twin did not.
Your strengths? Well, they lie in solo activities. Anything that needs to be completed alone, you thrived in. Preferring not to work with others unless you absolutely had to. Even then, you weren’t going to be happy doing it. An intellectual, not an artistic bone in your body. Not understanding how he and his brothers can create literal magic in their minds and then go and perform for thousands of people.
Not being a people person was one of the main key characteristics of your personality. You had your small inner circle and that was more than enough for you. Even better that they spent most of their time away from you touring.
If you were together all the time, it would make the time spent together less exciting. Less meaningful. Sure, some people would say it was you being shy and to yourself, but you knew that wasn’t really it.
Okay, maybe just a bit.
Who could blame you though? Being in the public eye like your closest friends sounded like a nightmare. Not being able to keep any information about your private life hidden because it seemed as though someone was always watching. It sounded like hell. It was hell.
That was the life of being a celebrity though. Which is also why you strayed as far away from it as possible. Even when you went out to lunch with Jake when he was in town, it was not a rare occurrence for him to be stopped on the street for a picture or something of the like. Keeping your distance and watching from over his shoulder some few yards away was where you were most comfortable in situations like that.
He would then come back to you, exasperated because of the constant stopping for fans. Jake wasn’t as annoyed with it as he let on to believe, secretly loving when he was approached by adoring fans showering him in praise. It always earned an eye roll from you. Such an attention whore.
Just not to the extent of his twin. Josh craved it. There was hardly ever a time when he wasn’t ecstatic to discuss the intense life he led on a daily basis of being adored by fans and the like. Not to mention the annoying personality trait of needing to be best friends with any individual he was an acquaintance with.
His pursuit of reaching that level with you had been nonstop since high school when you and Jake had hit it off. It was thoroughly exhausting fighting the man as often as you had to, but it was the only way to get him to leave you alone.
He loved it. Finding it hysterical how truly annoyed you were by his sheer presence. Honestly, he wasn’t entirely aware of the actual reason why you didn’t want to be around him. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t lost sleep over it more than once.
Thinking it was just a silly game, not comprehending that you truly wanted nothing to do with him. It was frustrating. Dealing with this since high school and you truly believed he knew the main reason why, but opted to ignore it for the sake of not self reflecting. Jake on the other hand, similar to his familiar counterpart, could always guarantee a chuckle from your interactions.
Never getting into full arguments, but you had been known to raise your voice at him on a few occasions when he refused to leave your personal bubble. It was borderline anxiety inducing. Always having a few Xanax on hand for when you knew you would be having to spend more time than necessary with the boy.
Like on vacation.
Jake had invited you as soon as they had decided where they were going to be taking a weekend trip to. Given you had never been to Las Vegas, you thought it was going to be an absolute blast. Staying at an incredible resort, relaxing by the pool, occasional gambling whilst enjoying the complimentary drinks. I mean, in what world would someone turn that down?
You seriously considered it once you heard that Josh was going to be in attendance. Being trapped on a plane with him, having to do every vacation activity together, getting little to no break from the 24/7 Josh show. Way to ruin a trip.
Given how desperately you did need this getaway, biting your tongue and accepting the fact that the thorn in your side was going to be even closer than normal was what you were just going to have to deal with despite the bile burning the back of your throat at just the thought of it.
Knowing that you would at least have the reprieve of the flight out to Nevada was adding a little bounce to your step. Until he plopped himself down in the seat directly next to yours with a loud sigh echoing in the shell of your ear. Without a moment of hesitation you placed your earphones in, not wanting to give him a chance to engage, or attempt to engage, in conversation with you.
It didn’t last long. He grabbed the left one from your ear much to your dismay, giving a large grin. “Everyone got to pick one activity for the weekend. What’s yours?” Snatching the item from his fingertips and placing it back where it should’ve been the entire time, you sighed.
“Pool morning.” His eyes lit up, going to speak again, but luckily the flight attendants began their aisle explanation of rules and regulations. Smirking at the interruption, you let your head recline back onto the ridiculously uncomfortable headrest, your eyes slipped shut.
You couldn’t be one hundred percent certain of how long your eyes were closed, but it felt like two minutes later when he nudged you to gather your attention on him. A large exhale left your nose, still trying to ignore him. It only worked for so long until he began incessantly tapping your shoulder.
“What? What? What could you possibly want right now, Joshua?” You snapped, staring him dead in the eyes, but he wasn’t phased in the least by your outburst. Holding up a ziplock bag to you, he offered another large smirk. “Trail Mix?”
Josh had set himself a personal goal for the trip. By the time the wheels were up on the way home, you two were going to be fast friends. Deciding on that after having a group dinner together one night and you did everything in your power to avoid him. Whilst he and Jake chatted in his kitchen he racked his brain at the possibilities.
“Can I ask you a question?” Jake hummed in response, eyes stuck to his screen. “Why does buzz not like me?” Jake’s eyes briefly glanced at his spitting image and sighed. “Because you’re you.” Josh let the words simmer for just a brief moment.
Before giving a response, Jake continued. “It’s just a lot for her to handle. You’re on constantly and it drives her up the wall. You know how she is. More reserved than any of us and you're just elevated by ten.” Josh’s brow furrowed, leaning against the counter, shaking his head.
“Yeah no, I don’t think that’s it.” Jake’s hands shot up, deserting his task of trying to get Josh to understand why his best friend did not adore his twin like every other individual under the sun. He was going to get her to be friends, even if it was the last thing he did.
A blinding migraine is what woke you up. That and the feeling of someone's arm wrapped around your bare waist.
Blinking your eyes open slowly, you could feel whoever was next to you, breathing deep and even into the crook of your neck. The disheveled hair was tickling your cheek and jaw, hand twitching every so often as he slept.
When he began to feel you stirring, he himself was slow to get up as well. Having no clue if this person was a complete stranger or if you happened to know them pretty well, had you beyond nervous to turn around and look.
Then it hit you. Patchouli.
Eyes blowing wide open, you turned your head to see him in the same position as you. Wide eyed, shock, and confusion painted across his face. Entirely sure he was mirroring your expression as well.
Neither of you said a word to one another as you laid there. Eventually, you pulled your gaze away from him and chose to stare at the ceiling instead. “Buzz?” He finally broke the uncomfortable silence drenching the room.
Making the wrong decision to shake your head, you groaned, stilling your skull and attempting to stop the room from spinning further than it already was. “No, no. Don’t say a word.” You seethed out between gritted teeth.
He took in a sharp breath, fingers laced soundly over his comforter covered torso. His phone vibrated on the nightstand and when he grabbed it, he only showed you the message from Sam. They were all downstairs waiting on you both to join them for breakfast.
Silently getting dressed, you stepped out of the restroom to see Josh waiting patiently for you. “We do not speak a word of this. To anyone. You understand me?” His lips were pulled between his teeth, but he nodded at you. “Of course, absolutely.”
As you two took your seats at the table, all eyes were glued to you both. Trying to play it off, you pointed to the pitcher of orange juice sitting on the other end of the table by Josh. He handed it off to you, but everyone's attention had yet to leave you both.
Finally giving in, you stared down Jake. “What? What’s wrong?” His chin rested on the backs of his hands, a small knowing smirk gracing his lips, sunglasses blocking his hungover eyes. “Are we going to talk about what happened last night?”
Shrugging, your brow furrowed at his words. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. What happened?” Sam snorted, sipping his coffee before responding. “Josh invited us all to watch,” your head snapped to the boy next to you, shooting daggers at him.
“You fucking pervert,” Josh’s cheeks burned crimson red at the response bit out at him. Danny finally spoke up through a bite of toast. “Like we weren’t going to watch our best friends get married.”
You perked up in his direction, looking at the paired off couples seated around the table. “Oh my god, who got married?” Josh was excited to hear the news himself. Jita’s confused gaze met your enthused one as she spoke.
“Uh, you two?” Eyes falling down to the table, you and Josh gasped at the same time, the memory slamming into you. Your hands covered your mouth as it hung wide open, staring at the man in pure shock. Slowly shaking your head, you stuttered over your words. “No-no, ther-there’s no way.”
Josh’s head fell back, swallowing thickly as his brothers erupted in laughter around the table. “How did they let that happen when we were so drunk?” You whispered out, staring at Jake for answers. He shrugged, “That’s the way most people get married, buzz.”
Letting your head fall into your hands, Josh finally spoke. “It’s fine, we’ll get it annulled and it’ll be like nothing even happened.” Nodding at his words, you shoved his phone into his hands from the resting place it had been on the table. “Now. Do it now.”
Standing from the table, he excused himself as he dialed his lawyer's number. Deciding that it was probably best to check your own phone for any inkling as to what had gone on the previous night, you checked what was buried in your purse. The screen was continuously lighting up with notifications from Instagram, Twitter, any and all social media known to man.
“Oh-oh my god,” you breathed out. Slowly lifting your head and looking at the youngest brother, you calmly asked him a question. “Samuel?” He huffed in response, spreading jam onto his toast. “Did you post the wedding on your Instagram last night?” Dropping his butter knife to the table with a loud clink echoing, everyone immediately took to Instagram.
A chorus of oh no’s, fuck’s, and holy shits were spoken by all of the table. Josh sat back in his seat and turned towards you. “There’s a problem,” you nodded, eyes never leaving Sam. “Oh, trust me, we’re well aware.” He breathed out a sigh of relief.
“Oh great, I don’t have to be the one to tell you.” Sam bit into a piece of muffin, shooting you a wink. “Happy honeymoon!” His attempt to release the tension that hung heavy on the group did not work as he had hoped.
The remainder of the trip you spent as much time away from Josh as possible, absolutely mortified about the circumstances and what had gone on. The only interaction you had with him was right after brunch when he told you his lawyer was working on it and he had made their manager aware of what was going on.
Otherwise, you had kept your distance like Josh was a plague. It hadn’t been too bad afterwards. You spent the rest of the time relaxing by the pool, enjoying great food, and before you knew it you were on the flight back home.
To face reality.
As you walked to your car, his voice echoed through the parking garage to gather your attention. Only stopping because you had to, you turned to face him and saw him jogging towards you. “So, uh, my lawyer wants to meet with us tomorrow morning. Manager will be there, too.”
Nodding in agreement, you didn’t say anything else as you loaded your luggage into your car and then yourself. He didn’t try to speak more, knowing how truly furious you were with him for this.
Knowing that this now being public information was going to make the situation that much worse to deal with. Not like it would have been if this was a normal person, no, you had to deal with the ramifications of being black out drunk and marrying a celebrity.
Awesome.
When you arrived at his home the next morning, you let yourself in, seeing a man dressed in a suit standing in his living room and the man you knew as their manager quietly chit chatting with Josh. He only offered a nervous, sheepish smile to you as you walked in and sat on his sofa.
“Alright, so what do we need to do? Sign some papers?” You spoke out first, grabbing a pen from your purse and looking at everyone expectantly. They were all nervous and you couldn’t figure out why.
The boy's manager cleared his throat and called you by your name, but you shook your head, offering your nickname instead. No one ever used your legal name, it was odd to even hear it spoken out. “Buzz, then. So, unfortunately, this is going to be a bit more,” he paused, trying to find the magic word, "more complicated than we originally assumed.”
Not responding, you only blinked slowly at him. Acknowledging the lawyer to step forward and speak, your head inclined towards him. “The annulment itself is not what complicates matters. It should only be a few months until everything is squared away based on the legal proceedings. What does make things sticky is the social aspect of this.”
His hands waved to you both, but you refused to look at Josh. He could feel your energy humming with pure anger at what was being said to you. His manager spoke up once more. “Yes, so, Sam posting this definitely made it more difficult. In order for you both to get out of this as unscathed as possible, we all discussed the options.”
Your face contorted in confusion. “Excuse me?” Everyone’s eyes settled on you. “I was not consulted for any of this. So when you say we all discussed the options, no we didn’t.” Josh’s wide eyed gaze looked at the two men standing, blankly staring at you.
Jaw setting in annoyance, you spoke again. “I don’t understand how there can be options in the first place. We get it annulled and call it a day. Wipe our hands of it. That’s the option here.” Josh cleared his throat, turning to face you from his seat.
“Buzz, listen. It affects our image. It’s one thing to actually be married, but for us to have gotten drunk in Vegas and then got married, and within seventy-two hours to get it annulled. That’s so bad,” you scoffed at him, but before you could speak they all chimed in.
“It puts a very bad image on Josh. We’re just trying to get damage control done right now. All we’re suggesting is that for the next few months, until the annulment is officially granted, you two continue to put on a facade of sorts to the public that you two are actually together.”
Unbelievable.
“And what about me?” You breathed out, staring at these men like the fucking vultures they were. His manager shrugged with a laugh. “You get to date Josh Kiszka for a few months. This will boost your image too!”
Standing up from your seat, you exploded on them. “Well, I’m not fucking dating Josh Kiszka! This is the problem with you, Josh! It’s all about you and your image. Doesn’t matter who else's life you screw up along the way as long as your image remains clean. Go fuck yourself. Let me know when I need to sign the papers.”
Storming out of his house, when you got to your car, you sat there in silence, trying to catch your breath. A scream left your throat as you continuously hit your steering wheel over and over. Admittedly, you had done some incredibly stupid things in your time, but nothing to this magnitude. No, this was truly life altering stupidity that put you here.
And you did it with the worst human imaginable. You hated yourself for letting this happen. This wasn’t like you. Getting married on a bender in Vegas? Nope. Bets were always going to be on Sam to do something like this. You? Not in a million years. With Josh? Not even in the realm of possibilities.
Yet, here you were.
Sitting in your apartment, you drowned your sorrows in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, watching Bridgerton as you sobbed about the utter mess you were in. Josh had been blowing up your phone all day, honestly you were surprised he hadn’t shown up at your door.
Ah, spoke too soon, you thought as a rumbling of knuckles on your front door drew your attention. Sniffling, you wiped your face with a stray tissue, praying it wasn’t too dirty, before walking to the door.
“I’m not in the mood right now, Josh.” Sighing as you took in the sight of who was at your door, you were overjoyed to see someone else standing there. “Well, damn good thing I’m not him then, huh?” You didn’t hesitate, throwing yourself into Jake’s embrace, continuously sobbing into his shirt.
His hands rubbed your back with a sad sigh, leading you back in towards your sofa. Sniffling as he grabbed a tissue, he wiped your tear stained cheeks that were positively swollen from the day spent in absolute waterworks. “What’s up, buzz?”
Your hands hit your thighs in exasperation, shrugging as more tears welled up. “They told me I have to date Josh until the annulment is done. I don’t want to do that, Jake.” Chin wobbling, he wiped at your falling tears again, nodding in understandment.
“I’m so stupid! How did this even happen?” He handed you the box of tissues before speaking. “First of all, you’re not stupid. You were drunk beyond belief, we all were. Second, who said you have to date Josh?” Eyes staring at the crumpled fabric in your hands, the sadness that sat on your shoulders sank further in.
“Your manager. The lawyer. Josh. They said it was to protect his image. That a drunk Vegas wedding doesn’t look good as is and then getting it annulled or having the paperwork filed a few days after is even worse. Like, they didn’t even consider me!” Your body shook harder as more tears fell, sobs escaping your throat as you laid on Jake.
A deep sigh rumbled in his chest, hand smoothing your hair down. “You’re gonna hate my response then.” Pulling back from his embrace, you shot daggers at him. “You want me to do it, too? Seriously, Jake? You know why I don’t want to be associated with him. I’m not doing it!”
His hands went up in defeat, but raked through his hair as he watched you move to the kitchen then back to the room in a nervous pace. “Buzz, listen. It’s not just Josh that’s affected. Honestly, if it was I would 100% be on your side and let you do what you wanted to do. I’m worried about you,” your brow furrowed at his words.
“Being associated with someone like us is not easy. You should see the toll it takes on Jita sometimes. It’s rough and brutal,” you cut him off, his words only aiding your reasoning. “Exactly! That’s one of the main reasons,” he didn’t let you continue, speaking over you and grabbing your hands to bring you back to sit with him.
His thumbs brushed over the skin on your wrist. “It’ll be so much worse if the annulment news gets out this quickly after what happened. Buzz, your life will be decimated. It will be horrible. It will affect your daily life, your work, everything. I want you to do this so that way it’s more sound when it does happen. Otherwise,” he shook his head as he trailed off.
With a groan, you flung yourself back onto the couch. You had never hated life more than you did right then. Grabbing your cell phone, you sent Josh a message only sending a Fine, as Jake patted your leg. “Good girl.” You kicked him in response.
A carefully drawn plan was created by everyone. Keeping public appearances at a minimum, their manager stated that only a few were necessary in the amount of time needed for it to be legally done. However, what was necessary was social media posts.
Since your…wedding, had been so publicly broadcasted, making an appearance on his social media whether by posts or stories was absolutely necessary according to them. The goal was to keep actual posts minimal, but stories more often. Which also meant that you and Josh were going to have to be spending more time together than you ever had before.
You were dreading it to put it lightly. In fact, you only wanted to crawl under your bed and hide for the rest of eternity. All you could think about was why this had to happen with him. Why not Danny? You loved Danny! Sweetest human being known to man.
Instead, you were legally bound to the person you despise most. Why must the universe laugh in your face like this? You believed you were a fairly decent person, so why you? It was that question that was on an ever repeat in your mind as you sat at a restaurant you couldn’t even afford to look through the window at.
The two of you were sitting in dreadfully uncomfortable silence. A fake engagement ring sitting on your left hand, a band on his. Waiter already having come and taken both of your orders, you didn’t know what else to do at the moment. Nibbling on a skinny breadstick, your eyes scanned the scenery around you.
People that would never give you the time of day if they were to spot you on the street filled the tables around you both. Occasional glances from the younger crowd falling over you two made you shift in your seat.
Taking notice of wandering eyes himself, he reached his hand out across the linen covered table, grabbing your hand with his. Speaking through a smile, your look of disgust made him laugh. “Can you at least try and make it look like we’re having fun? We’re married and people are looking, buzz.”
Forcing a grin onto your face, you squeezed his fingers, a hiss escaping from his teeth as he pulled his hand back. “You’re right, I am having fun!” Rolling his eyes, he expelled air from his ballooned cheeks.
“So what do you do for work, again?” He asked. You stared him down, opinion of him sinking further. “I’m an archivist. Do you know what that is?” Your smug tone had his face falling, mocking you. “Yes, I know what an archivist is. Asshole,” he mumbled, playing with the straw in his drink.
Sighing, he leaned back in his seat, eyeing you from across the table. “What’s your deal with me? Why don’t you like me? Everyone likes me. I’m Josh!” Elbows landing on the table with a clatter of plates and glasses, you began listing the reasons on your fingers.
“You’re selfish, snobby, too energetic, think you’re better than everyone else, an attention whore,” he cut you off, arms crossing over his chest. “Alright, alright, alright. I get it. But I’ll have you know I’m not any of those things.”
Your eyebrows shot up your face. “Really?” He nodded, a smirk tugging at his full lips. “Of course! There’s so much more to me.” Snorting, you pointed at the table. “If you’re not a snob or selfish then why would you bring me here? I don’t even like fish! I’m allergic to shellfish. I literally ordered the only thing that didn’t contain any fish. A fucking salad, Josh. I don’t like salad.”
Continuing with your rant, he listened to every word you said. “Not to mention that a place like this,” you waved your hands around, “is the last place I would ever want to come to. I’m more of a Chili’s girl,” his nose scrunched up in disgust. “You see! This isn’t going to work, Josh.” Catching your head in your hand, he tried to ease your spiraling mind.
“Okay, okay. I promise that next time we will go somewhere you want. I just figured that this was a good spot to get noticed and that is working. Three different people have taken pictures which I am almost 100% certain are already circling Twitter.” Your face showed your confusion because you hadn’t noticed that at all.
“I promise, next time, we will go somewhere or do something you want. Scouts honor,” he held his hand up in the salute, earning a tired laugh from you. “Ah, see! We’re already making progress. You laughed at my joke.”
Smile falling, the waiter appeared with your food right then. “Actually, I was laughing at you. Not at your joke.” He shrugged, digging into the salmon on his plate. “Still counts.”
Awkward small talk consumed the remainder of the evening. Walking to your own car that had been parked a few blocks away from the restaurant, Josh stood behind you, ensuring you got to your car safely.
Not offering a parting word, you got in your car, but Josh tapped on your window, a smile on his lips. Rolling it down, but only a crack, you tilted your head towards it. “What?” He placed a sloppy kiss on the glass, much to your dismay, but laughed right after.
“I had a great time with you, buzz. Make sure you’re at my home this weekend to make an appearance in a social media story!” He called out as you reversed out of your spot, driving off with your middle finger extended in his direction.
You weren’t a firm believer in the idea about people changing. People are the way they are, especially once in adulthood. The way someone acts by the time they’re in their early twenties, in your experience anyways, was how the person was meant to be. Which is why you were entirely confused about why Josh was growing on you.
After spending more than a few evenings at his home to appear in his stories or Instagram posts, even making it into a TikTok, you were growing more comfortable around him. Even opting to hang out without the need for posting purposes. You hadn’t even given a second thought to why you were okay with it.
It honestly started after your suggested publicity date. After having a night out at a fancy dinner, you decided to do something a tad more laid back for your date choice. However, when you realized that they wanted you to be seen out in public together, it dawned on you what to do.
The boys were still on tour, so like any normal “girlfriend” or “wife”, you flew out to spend some real good quality time with your partner. He even went the extra mile to pick you up from the airport. Your decision to keep him in the dark of what your planned outing entailed was driving him insane.
It is also why he was standing in the happiest place on earth with the largest scowl on his face you had ever seen. With your Minnie Mouse ears adorned, Mickey Mouse t-shirt, and Nuimo sticking out of your cross body bag, you were beaming from ear to ear. Walking up to Josh, you stood directly in front of him, placing a pair of ears on the frowning boy.
“No, no. Absolutely not.” Giggles fell from your parted lips as he took them off with a loud sigh. “Okay, Mr. Grumpy, what would you like to do first? Space Mountain or Autopia? I think we should do Autopia because it’s a car perfect for your frame and one you might actually be able to reach the pedals in.”
He mocked a fake laugh, walking in the direction of Space Mountain. Josh could try all he wanted to feign irritation with where you two had landed for your date, but by mid-afternoon, he was smiling more often than not.
Even indulging in a churro although it was against his dietary restrictions. You two were sitting in New Orleans Square, splitting a box of popcorn, giving your feet a rest after the incredibly long day, but your mood and spirits had never been so high around him before.
Laughter and smiles had been a regular throughout the course of the day, nearly riding every ride you could. Josh was grinning like a child after having indulged himself all day. “I can’t believe you actually bought the picture from Splash Mountain. It’s so dumb!” You spoke through laughs.
Whipping the picture out, you were cowering over, blocking yourself from the water, face contorted in fear while Josh had both hands up, the biggest smile you’d ever seen as he yelled out in excitement. As he put more popcorn in his mouth, his eyes narrowed at you.
“Why’d you pick here?” Smirking, you sipped from your novelty alien sipper cup. “For starters, I knew you’d be pissed when we walked in.” He shrugged in agreement, a light tint falling on his cheeks. “But I also knew that you would warm up after a few rides and snacks. Almost everyone does. And I picked somewhere where I knew we would be spotted.”
Sliding your phone across the tabletop, a photo of you and Josh on the teacups was circling the Twittersphere. “I think I’m starting to get the celebrity appearance thing.” Taking a bite of your salty treat, Josh eyed you in surprise.
“Well, look at you.” His gaze settles on you for just a beat too long, causing you to fidget in your seat. Looking back at your phone to get away from the uncomfortable feeling worming its way in your stomach, you spoke out. “C’mon, we have a lighting lane for Indiana Jones.”
Josh stared after you as you stood and began walking in the direction of the ride. His plan was working.
It was pissing you off to no end. You didn’t want to like Josh or be friends with him. Not since his fuck up in high school that was the root cause of all of this. So why was he growing on you?
Refusing to fall for the sweet Josh act, which you were beginning to doubt was an act at all, after your Disney day, you decided to keep contact and visits extremely limited. Only showing up at his home to appear in a quick story and then immediately leaving. Josh wasn’t a fan of this sudden change either.
Becoming downtrodden each time you rushed to leave his home after making brief appearances. Keeping conversations to a minimum. When you received a text from Josh saying one of your final dates was ready to take place, you were dreading spending an evening with him. Not excited about the confusing feelings that were happening.
Yet, here you were at a concert for the boys. Given you were as good of friends with Jake as you were, most people figured that you were constantly at concerts. Not really. Actually, you had only really seen them perform a handful of times. Now that you and Josh were married?
Of course the perfect opportunity for a sighting was going to be at a concert, supporting your fake spouse. Okay, not entirely fake because the marriage itself was technically real, but whatever. Standing off to the side of the stage, you smiled warmly at them putting their best efforts into their show.
It was hard not to notice the wandering eyes of fans falling to you and realization dawning on the crowd who you really were. Animosity towards you hadn’t been too much to deal with. Sure, there were people who truly didn’t comprehend how you and Josh were together. There had never been a mention of you before, Jake working overtime to ensure that through your friendship, and now all of a sudden this random woman is married to Josh?
Bonkers.
As their encore wrapped up, once Jake stepped off stage, you jumped in excitement, offering your happy praises of how well the show had gone tonight. Walking off with Jake, you halted as their manager’s wide eyes observed you, subtly nodding his head in the direction of who you should have been walking with.
Jake offered you a knowing smile, continuing towards his dressing room as you waited for Josh. As his curly hair bounced towards you, you offered a large smile. He knew what he was doing as an arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you towards him and connecting your lips.
You froze, not expecting him to do something like that. As he retreated, his arm never left you, a smile still adorned as he turned you around and walked you towards his own room. Skin positively on fire from the encounter, your stomach was a chaotic mess of nerves.
Sitting in the general waiting area for Josh to finish getting ready to head to the hotel, you were literally sitting on the edge of your seat. You weren’t stupid, you knew why Josh kissed you right in the viewline of hundreds of fans. So, why was your mind running about the passion behind it? And why did you like it?
His curly due popped out of his door, a big grin greeting you as his wet hair dripped down his temples. “Ready to go?” Nodding with no verbal response, his hand linked with yours, escorting you down the tunnel. Your eyes were glued to the faux wedding rings adorning your hands.
Some fans waved you off in the private cars that headed in the direction of the hotel. Not muttering a word, Josh could sense the vibe was just ever so slightly different than normal. He knew you weren’t upset, but you weren’t exactly dripping with excitement either. Nervous?
It remained silent in the elevator ride up to the floor of your rooms. When he walked to his door, he finally made eye contact with you for the first time all evening. “Do you want to come inside and talk for a bit?”
Your wavering voice would give away your endless thoughts, so you just bob your head in agreement, stepping into the suite before him. Sitting on the overly large sofa for one person, Josh immediately knew something was different when you didn’t give a snide remark about that.
Finally sitting next to you, he handed you a drink from the bar. “Alright, what the hell is wrong with you? This is the longest you’ve ever been silent around me.” Sighing, you battled how to word this, but Josh beat you to it. “Was it the kiss? I’m sorry I should’ve asked you beforehand, but so many people were around I thought it was what I should do.”
Shaking your head, you felt heat creep up your neck. “No, no it’s fine. I agree, it was what should have been done. It’s just,” trailing off, his eyebrows furrowed. “It’s just what?” Deciding against telling him how you truly felt about it, you changed conversation tracks.
“Just that it was a lot of fun seeing you guys perform. Makes me realize who I’m actually married to.” He bought it. Immediately smiling brightly at your words, he relaxed into the stiff couch. “I can’t get over that. We’re married.” You both chuckled, eyes going to the wedding rings you wore.
“Do you remember the night at all?” He questioned, seeing if you had any recollection of how it came to be. Eyes going to the ceiling, you laughed as you tried to replay the fuzzy night. “I remember laughing. A lot. It was at one of those twenty-four hour chapels on the Strip. Jake was your best man, Jita was my maid of honor. Jake signed as our witness. Sam recorded the whole thing on Instagram.”
You two were erupting in laughter at the sheer stupidity of the situation. “You wanted to consummate the marriage right there in the chapel on the pew.” Josh laughed into his glass. Your jaw opened in shock, refuting the claim. “I did not!” Josh’s eyebrows raised as he recalled it. “Oh yes you did.”
Sitting there and staring into his eyes as his laughter died down, you gave a shrug. “Okay. So, what if I did? Would you have taken me right there?” He didn’t hesitate, not an inkling of nerves as his response came quickly.
“I would’ve taken you right there if we had been alone.” Swallowing thickly, in the blink of an eye Josh had ended up on top of you. Teeth hitting in a messy, hurried encounter. His tongue trying to explore every inch he could.
It moved so quickly you weren’t sure how you had ended up entirely nude in his bedroom. On your knees and hands, Josh pounding into you from behind. Hitting so deep inside of you that you were certain you were going to split in two.
Your moans were borderline murderous screams. Body being moved forward which each meet of his hips to your ass. The sounds ridiculously lude as your soaked bodies continued to join over and over.
As his cum painted your back and ass, you felt like you had run a marathon. His fingers still lightly tracing circles over your throbbing clit, instead of stopping all at once, easing you out of the pleasure that wracked your body.
Limbs turning to immediate jelly, you weren’t sure how you ended up in the shower together, going for another round. Fairly certain your body would never be able to recover again. Yet here you were, accepting him again with pleads. Years of pent up aggression with one another colliding.
Heavenly.
Well, that complicated it a bit more. What the hell was the matter with you? It was Josh for god’s sake! All you needed to do was show up for the concert, hang out with him for a few minutes, then go to your own room, and fly home the next afternoon. You couldn’t even do that right.
Because you were currently entangled in bedsheets with the boy, limbs intertwined, and you didn’t want to move. He was just so warm and soft, comfortable beyond belief. The gentle rise and fall of his chest nearly eases you back to sleep.
It was only a couple minutes later when he stirred awake, humming in content at you still being there. Arms tightening their grip on you. His deep, husky morning voice broke the gentle air, erupting your skin in goosebumps. “Morning,” his lips landed on the crown of your bedhead, trailing down to your cheek, then neck.
Easy was one way to describe it. The head of his cock breaching your entrance slowly and deeply. Lifting your leg as you remained on your side, Josh right behind you. His fingers danced on your clit, and in no time at all, you two fell apart.
Wanting to return back to the safe slumber of your life, he refused. As your eyes slid shut, they shot back open as his tongue traced your leaking hole. It was going to be a long morning. Which you didn’t really mind.
Letting Josh take you to brunch probably wasn’t the best move, but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to come up with a phony excuse as to why you couldn’t. You wanted to spend some time with him, it wasn’t a crime or anything. If anything, it only strengthened the PR relationship you were putting up!
Oh, shut up.
Even when you got home, you found yourself looking forward to hearing from Josh. He didn’t understand what the change had been or when it had actually happened, but he wasn’t complaining. If anything, he was celebrating it. You were no longer doing everything in your power to avoid him, but instead were actually reaching out to see when you could see him again.
This was the literal best case scenario for him. His yearning for you over the years had only grown stronger through all of this and what had been a silly crush on his brother's best friend was blossoming into an actual romance.
Still, you were hiding your reasoning for seeing him behind the PR aspect of this arrangement, but the more you presented it and accepted when he did, the more hopeful he was becoming. It might be silly wishes, but after having harbored these feelings for you for as long as he had been, getting this close was playing with fire.
Did anyone have any idea about this infatuation? Not in the slightest. Josh knew he had done a wonderful job of keeping it at bay. Perhaps it came off as an elementary level crush where he teased you relentlessly, but he seriously had little to no game and that was how he knew to get your attention.
Some fine tuning was most definitely needed, he would admit that.
Did the teasing that Josh relentlessly tormented you with sear into your memory and want you to second guess what you were doing? Absolutely. In fact, one night in particular would always stick out to you. A junior year pool party where Josh announced to the entire party during a truth or dare session that you had never slept with a boy let alone kissed a boy, mortified you.
You could remember the shocked faces of your friends who had all recently gone on sexual journeys that school year and were no longer at your clumsy virgin level anymore. Only having told Jake in confidence, you were horrified to discover that Josh had obtained that information and that he thought it would gain some laughter and bump him up in popularity to divulge it.
He had regretted it immediately after it left his mouth. Your vision of him forever tainted. Of course, you would never admit that was the line he had crossed, instead picking other things about him that annoyed you. Josh knew the real reason.
So, where did that leave you both? Sitting in Josh’s living room about to sign your annulment paperwork after four months of fake dating. He had called you that afternoon at work and said his lawyer had dropped them off and all that was needed was a signature from you both.
Holding the pen to paper you signed your name, handing it over to Josh and seeing him do the same. Letting out a shaky laugh with a puff of air, you eyed him. “Okay, well that nightmare is now over.” He chuckled with you, hands rubbing nervously over the tops of his thighs.
“I am sorry about all of this.” You finally broke the tension by saying. Josh knew what you meant. This had been your idea. The entire thing. Having made a bet with Jake that if you could win on a $200 bet in one go at a blackjack table, he owed you $5,000. Being as inebriated as he was, he hastily agreed. Yet, when he asked what would happen if you lost it left you fumbling for an answer. Something worth at least that monetary value, you reached your decision quickly.
“I’ll marry Josh tonight.” Everyone hooted and hollered, watching you place your bet and of course, losing on the spot. Josh immediately invited everyone to come to the chapel with you both, saying he couldn’t imagine marrying you without his family there. One Instagram livestream and twenty some odd stories later, you two were hitched.
He shrugged with a chuckle thinking back to it. “It’s a funny story we will always look back on and laugh about.” Agreeing with him and not sure what your next move was, you rose from his sofa, heading toward the front door when your name echoed in the large room.
Turning, you saw Josh cross to get to you. Colliding together, your purse fell to the floor, wrapping your arms around his neck as he crushed you to him. “Don’t go.” He spoke out. You nodded eagerly, bringing him back to you.
“I like you. A lot.” He spoke out in between kisses. Only a muffled mhm and me too escaped your throat before Josh led you to his room.
It was like answering a craving that your body was shaking to get its fill on. Like a drug you had never experienced before. Needing him in you more than the air you breathed. Filling the void that only Josh could fill.
Only Josh. That was all your mind could think of. Could handle. Even as he eyed you, laying nude in his sheets, he riddled every thought.
“Can I take you out?” You laughed, seeing him eyeing you from above you. “I’m serious! I know we kind of did this backwards, but I really do like you. I want to take you out. For real.” Narrowing your eyes at him, you grabbed his chin in your fingertips. “Promise you won’t marry me this time?” He nodded, looking at you like you were crazy.
“Absolutely. The plan is to knock you up this time.”
New tiktok! ...live black smoke audio?
Beautiful Boy | Josh Kiszka
Josh Kiszka x F!Reader
Warnings: Fluff, 18+ Allusions to Sex, Groping (Let me know if I miss any)
Word Count: 1.1k
Author’s Note: Honestly nothing crazy. This is just a little blurb I threw together after hearing that JOSH WAS WEARING EYELINER FOR THE HAMBURG SHOW! If he wears eyeliner for the next US leg, catch me dying in the pit for Pitt and Grand Rapids…
The next leg of the mighty Starcatcher World Tour has begun. Another month of endless traveling, soundchecks, interviews and shows. You loved the lifestyle you had adjusted too after agreeing to be Josh’s girlfriend 3 years ago. You knew what you were signing up for, and you never looked back. As long as you were beside him that’s all that mattered.
Josh showed you what it was like to love and be loved. He was the embodiment of love within itself. When you first met him you had only been newly single for a few months after a bad breakup. But when the two of you met one night at a small venue show, you hit it off immediately. Hangouts turned into dates, dates turned into nights tangled in each other's sheets. Then not too long after Josh was asking you to move in with him.
Josh had been thrilled when you agreed to move in, and said he was lonely in the mountains. And to say it wasn’t a dream to live in the mountains with the person you love most. You constantly thought your life was a dream and you constantly would pinch yourself for your own reassurance.
But when Josh had asked you to quit your day job and come on tour with him, you were absolutely hesitant. You had never left home, let alone left the country! But he was adamant that you came along as he would miss you too much, and how there was so much to see out in the world. And he wasn’t wrong.
In the span of 6 months you had seen more of the world than you had in the span of your own lifetime.
When you were on tour you had started to help out with the guys to get ready for their shows. Adjusting their outfits, fixing up Josh’s and Danny’s rhinestones. Even helping Jake adjust the sleeves to his suit jacket. Dreams In Gold was chaotic and thrilling. But when the guys were ready to announce Starcatcher, Josh had started to get more creative with his rhinestones and makeup for the shows.
When Starcatcher had finally been given to the world, the very first show Josh had you there applying his makeup and rhinestones. He was so nervous to be up on stage, as he always did get nervous before shows. But because a new era had begun and he was unsure if the fans would react well to it.
Jake had started to experience more with eyeliner for his stage presence. Whereas Josh, Danny and Sam wore eyeshadow and rhinestones for their presence.
Josh had been contemplating wearing eyeliner, but wasn’t sure he would look right with it. But Josh looked good no matter what, you were positive that if he came out covered in grease and dirt he’d still be the most attractive man you ever laid your eyes on.
“Do you think the eyeliner will look okay…” He paced around the dressing room.
“Josh, baby… You look absolutely stunning with the eyeshadow and rhinestones. Why would you think the eyeliner won’t look good?” You pulled out the waterline eyeliner out of the makeup bag.
“Will it be too much?” He kept pacing around. You stood up from where you were sitting, walking over to Josh you stopped him in his tracks kissing his lips softly.
He relaxed in your touch, kissing you back softly. Pulling away slowly, you cupped his face in your hands staring into his eyes.
“You worry too much… and besides if I remember correctly. Didn’t you say ‘Fuck fear’?” You giggled softly, pulling him over to sit back in the chair across form the one you sat in not too long ago.
“I did, didn’t I…”
You nodded, grabbing the eyeliner pencil and removing the cap. You grabbed his face gently, careful to not ruin the work you had finished a couple minutes ago.
“Now, just relax Joshy. It will take two minutes and then you can look in the mirror and see for yourself how good you look.” You kissed the tip of his nose, earning a grin and rosy tinted cheeks from him.
You held his face gently, using the eyeliner pencil to apply the black makeup to his waterline gently. He handled it like a pro, but he had let you experience a ton of makeup looks on him. He was such a good model for you.
After the two minutes of applying it to both eyes, you pulled away smiling contently at the final look. You grabbed the mirror and handed it to him.
“All done…”
He grabbed the mirror turning it to face him, he looked in amazement. The pop that the eyeliner did for his beautiful brown honey eyes and the way the liner complimented the silver eyeshadow. He was in shock.
“Wow… mama. You are god sent.” He chuckled softly, checking himself out in the mirror before setting it down. He pulled you into his lap.
“You are my beautiful boy…” You giggled softly cupping his face into your hands kissing him softly. He hummed against your lips, pulling your hips down and grinding into you.
You gasped slightly as you could feel him hardening beneath you.
“Joshua, we don’t have enough time…” You giggled softly as he peppered kisses along your neck.
“Mama… we have plenty of time.” He started to grab your ass, rubbing it softly before giving it a swift crack that made you yelp, but soothing it afterwards.
“No we don’t! The last time we got tangled up in the dressing room you were late to the stage for the curtain drop!” You smacked his shoulder softly.
“Yeah… Daniel will never let me live that down.” He chuckled softly.
“However… if you’re a good boy tonight. Perhaps afterwards you get rewarded.” You said in a sultry tone against the shell of his ear, licking and nibbling softly. Eliciting a moan from his lips to fall.
“You are going to be the death of me woman…” He chuckled softly.
You giggled standing up from his lap, as he started to readjust his new jumpsuit. A velvet silver jumpsuit that adorned his body well. And the jacket sitting on the hanger he pulled off that had been very similar to Jake’s.
“You look absolutely beautiful…” You blushed, helping him adjust his suit.
“Well with your help of course.” He kissed your cheek softly, before grabbing your ass again.
He started to whisper in your ear, “Just don’t forget who is in charge here though…” He said in a low register tone voice, which sent heat to your core. You were sure your panties were ruined by the arousal that pooled there.
“Good luck baby…” You tapped his ass softly, as you ushered him out to get mic'd up.
“I will see you back in the hotel room tonight, mama…” He smirked softly before getting mic’d up and hitting the stage.
.
.
.
should I do a second part?
Taglist -
@lyndszee @fkfearandliveyourlegend @starcatcherry @hi-hi-hello11 @gvfmuse @meetingthestardust @myleftsock @thunderstomp-and-tequila @sinsofstardust @vanillabear27 @dharma-divine33 @holybananafuck @thecoldwind @ieatedsammy @gretasfallingsky @char289 @blacksoul-27
In collaboration with - @earthlysorrows
Masterlist
Josh Kiszka x Reader
Words - 4.2k
Warnings - 18+ONLY, explicit sexual content, NSFW, smut, fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)
a/n - This was so much fun to work on, and I can't thank Madi enough for writing this with me ♡
“Well good morning to you, darling, how’s this Sunday morning treating you so far?”
You recognized the voice the moment you stepped out of your car, and your eyes lifted to see Pastor Kiszka leaning against the entryway of the church, a wide smile on his face as he watched you walk towards him.
“Good as I can be Kelly. Are the boys in yet?”
“Yes they are hun, Jake is up in the sound booth getting stuff ready for worship, and I believe Josh is in the youth room setting something up.”
You stopped by the sound booth first, cracking open the door and finding Jake sat at the booth fiddling with the slideshow for worship.
“Working hard Jake?” Your question broke his concentration, and he turned to you with a wide grin.
“Always, are you feeling nervous about being the lead for worship today?” He had spun himself around in his chair to fully face you, an eyebrow raised as he absentmindedly played with the buttons of his shirt.
You caught yourself glancing downwards at his fidgeting hands “I’m as confident as ever, you’re the one that seems nervous.”
“Yeah… Well, I usually stick to just playing guitar. I don’t know how you convinced me to actually sing with you and Josh.”
“I guess it’s just this beautiful face, it tends to convince a lot of men to do what I ask.” You tease with a soft punch to his shoulder. “You’ll be fine, I promise.”
You turned to leave, tilting your head back just before you closed the door, “And if not, I’m sure the congregation wouldn’t mind if you decided to step back into your usual spot.”
The hall was quiet as you made your way down to the youth room in search of Josh. You passed Karen in the office on your way, giving her a wave and smile before slipping through the youth room door.
You caught sight of Josh across the room, his face looking down at a list of what you assumed were the activities he had planned for the kids.
“Can you believe that we’ve been planning these since highschool?” You snuck up behind him, chin resting gently on his shoulder.
He leaned his head against yours, his arm finding its way around your waist to pull you around to his side, “We’ve been waiting to be youth leaders since we were in the youth group, this has been years in the making.”
Comforted by his warmth you let a gentle sigh fall from your lips. “I remember sitting right over there with you giggling about how we could have done better.”
He chuckled in response, looking up at you with a toothy grin, “Not that it would be hard, no offense to Keith, but he was not a good leader.”
Your cheeks puffed out at your attempt to internalize the laughter. “To be fair you do make it look a lot easier than it is. Either that, or we were just horrible kids.”
“We? That’s a joke. Me and Jake sure, but you,” He lifted a finger to brush against the cross hanging low on your chest, “you were a little angel.”
“I’m still an angel. Thank you.” You pretended to be offended and playfully pushed him away, “Do you think we’re going to be doing this forever?”
“I hope not.” His eyes moved away from your face for a moment before returning. “Don’t get me wrong, I love this place, and the people, but I feel like I’m not here anymore because of faith, I’m just here because my dad is the pastor… it’s kind of expected of us.”
His momentary lack of eye contact forced you to glance across the room as he spoke. “Would it make you feel better if I said I felt the same way? With the lack of faith I mean… It just seems like the older we get the less I follow what we’ve been taught.”
He stood suddenly, causing you to take a step back. You didn’t get far as the arm around your waist pulled you back to him, his free hand lifted to your face, running his thumb against your bottom lip.
“You, everyone’s favorite little angel, has had your faith shaken. Who could have done such a thing?”
You were taken aback by his motions and mulled over the idea of honesty. Who could have done such a thing? YOU. It had always been you. God you wanted to say it, scream it at him, but instead you looked down at his finger pressed so gently across your lip and lied through your teeth. “No one.”
He tsked at you, his eyes narrowing slightly as he leaned towards you, his breath tickling your ear. “Now now, angel, you know lying is a sin.”
The air you had been holding escaped your lungs through parted lips as Josh approached you. Once he was fully leaned in, you couldn’t stop yourself from firmly planting your right hand against his lower chest . Through his church attire, you rubbed your thumb back and forth with caution, feeling every muscular divot that laid below your hand.
You physically tried to bite back your words by pulling your bottom lip to your teeth. It failed. “You.” There was a part of you that hoped he hadn’t heard it but you couldn’t stop your tongue from rolling out what your mind had produced. “You’re the reason.”
“Me?” His voice rolled out in a low pur, sending a shiver down your spine. “I have a feeling your parents would be very conflicted on that one… cause on one hand, you’ve bagged one of the pastor's sons, congrats… but on the other hand, it’s the pastor's son’s fault that you don’t believe in God anymore.”
“I’m going to ask you something personal, and I don’t want you to show judgement towards me… Okay?” You took a deep breath and let your eyes make full contact with his. Your hand was still placed firmly on his chest only now inching down ever so slowly. Lowering your voice to a whisper you continued, “Have you ever touched yourself? While thinking about someone you knew?”
Your eyes trailed along his features, watching as a crimson blush rose to his cheeks, and his adams apple bobbed. When your eyes locked with his again, they seemed to have darkened a few shades, and he had taken his bottom lip between his teeth as he tentatively nodded his head.
You lifted yourself to the tips of your toes, tilting your head slightly to the side, your lips brushing against the shell of his ear, “Who?”
“Why should I tell you?” He murmured, leaning his head closer to your lips to just get a glimpse of physical contact that he was now desperate for.
You released a breathy laugh, turning until your lips were just barely grazing the skin of his cheek, enough that you could feel the heat radiating from the delicate surface. “Because it seems like you really want to.”
“You.” He whispered, it was hardly audible but it was there, and exactly what you wanted to hear slip past his lips. You had wanted nothing more than to get the validation you so desperately dreamed of. Just that alone had your legs nearly numb with overstimulation.
He pulled away from you, nervous about what had just slipped from his mouth, and coming face to face with you. Despite the innocent look painted across your features, he watched the most miniscule smirk grow on your lips, parting only enough for a single word to pass through them. “Good.”
“And is it safe to assume who you were thinking of then?” He eyed your smirk as you couldn’t control the rate of which it spread across your face. “That is, if it wasn’t a one sided question.” It was then that his hand met at the curve of your side, thumb circling around your hip.
Your smirk shrunk beneath his stare, leaving you with heat creeping its way up your chest, and a diminished capacity to give a verbal response. So you just nodded your head. The chuckle that rumbled from his chest slightly startled you, and the hand not on your hip lifted to brush along your jawline. “Words, angel, let me hear your pretty voice.”
Mustering up all the confidence you had left you followed his command. “Yes. I did. And to the thought of you, Josh.” You moved your hip so his thumb dug deeper into your skin. “And it got me thinking… If God loves us as much as the Bible says. Why would he make something that feels so damn good, such a sin?”
You turned your head towards Josh’s hand and let your lips run across his thumb, pressing forward to take the tip if it passed your lips with gentle suction. “Someone that loves you shouldn’t keep something like that from you. Something so phenomenal.”
The words fell from his lips as he stared intently at the way your lip creased beneath the pressure of his thumb. He let his thumb slip away, gliding along your cheekbone until the rest of his hand came to rest at the curve of your jaw, and he could tilt your head back enough for your lips to brush against his own.
You were yearning for more, for him to put the hand pressed upon your cheekbone on every inch of your body. Remaining patient, you took your hand from his torso and looped it around the nape of his neck. You tried to fully press your lips against his but felt him pull away just enough to keep your lips at a constant hover. “Please, Josh.” You beg, looking up at him through doe eyes. “I need you.”
His eyes rolled back a small groan rumbling his chest. He held back for a couple more seconds before caving and moving both of his hands to your face, cradling it in his grasp as he finally pressed his lips to your own.
It was everything you wanted and more, feeling the warmth of his lips transferring to yours. A hum vibrated through your throat and up towards his lips as you pressed harder with greed. Your fingers interlaced through his soft hair and you gave it a gentle tug downwards, separating his lips from yours. “How does this compete with your imagination?”
The laugh he released could have almost been more accurately described as a snort as he ran his tongue along his bottom lip. “Nothing in my imagination could compare to this.”
Without a response you connected your lips back to his once more, a soft moan floating towards his tongue from yours. Josh let his hands explore your body, running his right hand down low to the base of your thigh. Slowly, he began to walk his fingers in place, bunching up your Sunday dress until it was fisted in his hand.
There was no warning when the table he had just been lesson planning on turned into your new seat, and you yelped when he picked you up and nearly slammed you down against the cold wood. Dying to be closer, Josh nudged his knee between your legs, coaxing them open enough to let his body rest flawlessly between them. He pulled the bunched up fabric higher up your leg until his thumb snapped against the lace laying flush with your hip. “Hmm. Wearing a lace thong? To church? Did you come here with this plan in mind, sweetheart?” He rumbled luxuriously against your ear, his tone deeper than before.
You shook your head, sure that he could feel the heat radiating off of your cheeks.
“Remember what I said about using your words, angel. Now, did you-” You felt the pressure of his thumb dipping beneath the band of your panties as he spoke, “-or did you not wear these on purpose?”
The squeeze of his thumb had your head tilting back slightly. “And what would you do if I told you it was for you?” You controlled your breath to the best of your abilities and tried your hardest to remain confident. “That I woke up this morning and the only thing I could think about was fucking you.”
He was taken aback for a moment, blinking slowly as his eyes stared deeply into your own. You watched the way his lips opened and closed a few times before he cleared his throat and straightened up, pulling you closer to the edge of the table, pressing his thigh against the inside of your own. “Then I must be God’s favorite.”
You couldn’t stop yourself from hooking your leg around his back and forcing him closer by pulling him in. The sudden friction sent a deep huff through your nose as a delicate moan quickly followed. “Consider yourself his Prophet then.”
You wished you could commit to memory the silky moan that fell from between Josh’s lips at the contact of your soft skin against the rough denim of his jeans.
Stuck in a trance that was the feeling of your heat radiating to his thighs, his body remained stationary. You didn’t care if he was just marinating in the moment, you needed more of him. Now. So slowly, you put your hand upon his that was resting under the strap of your thong and pushed it downwards towards your center.
“That’s all for you Josh.” You cooed, biting your bottom lip as you felt his finger absorb your heat. Once again guiding him, you pressed his forefinger between your folds and was rewarded by yet another chest rattling moan slipping past his lips.
“Fuck, Y/n.” It was the first time you had heard your actual name pass his lips since you had walked in, and the raspy tone of his voice sent another rush of heat to your core.
You left his hand alone once he became situated with rubbing circles against your clit, and you used your own to push against the top button of his shirt. You tugged at it softly before a small triangle of his skin was exposed at his chest. Your finger traced down that newly exposed sternum until the second button barricaded you. That one was pushed undone and out of the way quicker than the first.
Intrusive thoughts winning, you leaned forward to nip at his soft skin before sucking at it with enough force to leave a soft purple bruise behind at your release. “May I undo more?” You pleaded for permission.
A soft ‘please’ escaped Josh, and you moved to unbutton more of his shirt as you felt the added sensation of another one of his fingers brushing along your slit. The feeling drew a breathy gasp from your lips
Eventually all of the buttons were unlatched and his whole chest was exposed to the chilled church air. Proceeding with caution, you pushed your hands up and past his shoulders, taking the shirt down with it. There was a soft pat, as the fabric fell to the hardwood flooring. Hands taking control, you guided it across his skin, running your finger between every single crease in his muscles.
You’ve seen it before, his bare chest, when you went swimming together in the summer or when he had to change into a fresh shirt before dinner with your family. However, it was never in a setting like this. His skin was glistening in a way that demanded your mind to wonder. With his fingers placed against what was said to be your sacred temple, his bare chest now felt like a right of passage.
Overtaken with emotions, you lifted your free hand to grab hold of your breast, massaging it gently as if coaxing Josh to take over for you. You saw the hesitation within his lust-filled pupils. “Please. I want you to touch me.”
His free hand slowly covered your own, you could feel the subtle shaking of his hand as it gently nudged yours out of the way and grasped your breast through the fabric of your dress. If there was any time to find out just how thin your dress was, you weren’t going to complain about it being as Josh’s fingers splayed over the swell of your breast, his thumb brushing over your hardening nipple.
Your mouth connected with his once more and your tongues danced flawlessly in rhythm as Josh gained more confidence by the second. Letting out almost a feral grunt, his grasp on your breast tightened and he leaned down harder against you, his chest now flush with yours. You fed off of this energy, rolling your hips against his hand and in return he slipped his middle finger into you without warning.
“Fuck.” You moan out through your exhale, and in return your hips shyly rocked back and forth against his single digit. Josh had enough of playing with your breasts through the fabric so he took it upon himself to run his hand up your stomach. He pulled your bralette down with a force that cracked a few of the seams apart before he grasped your bare breast within his palm. “Jesus Christ.”
“Don’t praise him right now, praise me.”
The tone he used, in addition to the teasing of a second finger against your entrance made your muscles tense, rolling your torso further into his own.
“Do me a favor, angel.” You turned your gaze to his face, watching as his gaze traveled over your chest, all the way up to meet your eyes.
“What Josh?”
He smirked, sliding his middle finger out of you as he opened his mouth to speak. “If you’re going to make so much noise baby, maybe say something that a good girl of faith would say… that way if someone walks past-” He slowly pressed his middle and index finger into you. “-they think we’re actually doing our jobs.”
He began moving his fingers in a steady rhythm, watching as your mouth opened and closed a few times before your strained voice finally came through. “Bless me father for I have sinned-”
You could feel the chuckle that rolled through Josh’s chest as his fingers slowed their pace. “That's Catholic, but I appreciate the effort.”
You rolled your eyes at him, letting out a giggle of your own, that quickly turned to a moan as he curled his fingers. His face suddenly dropped to a serious expression, and he slowly pulled his fingers out of you.
You groaned in protest, but as he distanced himself from you, you couldn’t help but watch in awe as he lifted the fingers he just had inside of you to his parted lips, cleaning them of your desire as he stared you in the eyes, apart from a moment in which his eyes fluttered shut.
Your hands travelled down his chest to the belt he had holding up the nice pair of jeans he was wearing, pulling on the buckle. He smirked at your eagerness, dropping his hands to cover yours. “Use your words, angel. What do you want?”
He felt his knees buckle a bit when you looked at him with your doe eyes and parted your lips to speak.
“I want you to fuck me Josh.”
He leaned into you, capturing you in another heated kiss, and you melted into him. Josh used that to his advantage as he slid you off of the table and slowly disconnected from your lips.
“Are you sure, angel?” He was searching for any indication of hesitance from you, but your pupils were blown, and your fingers continued to play with the leather of his belt.
You nodded your head, tilting your head up to press a chaste kiss to Josh’s lips. “I’m sure Josh.”
He smiled at you, a big toothy grin that reminded you that this was in fact, the same Josh that you had known your whole life, and you were about to fuck him… in the youth group room that the two used to go to… and now will be leading. You felt his hands land on your hips, pressing gently against the skin and turning you to face away from him.
You were left somewhat confused, with one of his hands disappearing from you while the other remained. You could hear the sound of his belt coming loose, and the zipper of his jeans being undone. He leaned forward enough to press his lips against the shell of your ear. “Lean forward for me, angel. Elbows on the table, hands together.”
You did as he said, feeling his warm hand push your dress up passed your hips before slowly dragging his knuckle along the soaked fabric of your thong. He shuffled for another minute, continuing to drag his knuckle up and down your clothed core as you bit down on your finger to keep from moaning. After a minute of the minimal contact, Josh pulled your panties over the swell of your ass, leaving them to rest against your thighs.
“The sinners' prayer. Recite it to me.” There was a rasp in his tone, like he was physically attempting to hold himself back as he took his cock into his hand and closed the distance between your bodies.
You snorted a laugh, releasing the finger from between your teeth and turning your head just enough to address him from behind you. “You’re joking.”
The slid the head of his cock between your folds, coating himself in the pleasure he had induced. “Do it.”
You made it through a few false starts as he pressed into you, entering you inch by glorious inch.
“Come on, angel, you know it.”
“Dear Lord Jesus,” Your elbows collapsed beneath you with a particularly deep thrust from Josh, leaving you flat against the table, sliding in tandem with Josh’s thrusts and reaching out to grip at the edge of the surface.
“I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness.” The end of your sentence sent Josh’s hips thrusting with passion against you. “I believe You died for my sins and …Fuck Josh that feels so fucking good..” Your chest was no longer pressed firmly against the table as Josh reached his hand around your throat and used it as a rein to pull your body from the wood.
“That’s not how it goes, my angel. Start over.” With a firm push you were laying back against the furniture.
“Dear lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for your forgivenesses. I-I believe you died for my sins and…” Antagonizing you to fail again, Josh looped his arm around your hips and pressed his middle and index finger directly on your clit. The circling started slow, but you could already feel the pressure and rate rising by the second.
“...rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite you to come into my heart and life.” His free hand moved down your spine and once it curled against your hip you let out a sharp gasp. His smirk was reflecting in the painting on the wall ahead of him as he patiently waited for you to screw up the verse. “ I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Savior...”
He could feel you clenching around him, and it took every ounce of his strength not to burst at the feeling of you hugging his cock so securely. “Are you close, angel?”
You nodded your head against the arm you were resting on, your voice rough as ‘so close’ tumbled from your lips like a mantra.
Josh wasn’t sure he had ever heard such heavenly sounds as you came apart in front of his eyes. The coil that had been winding up steadily since your endeavour began snapped, and a mixture of muttered curses and moans drifted from your lips as Josh worked you through your orgasm.
Josh leaned down to press a kiss against your temple, whispering a soft ‘amen’ into your ear and smiling when you giggled. He pulled out once you had pulled through the pleasure, finishing himself off and walking over a few steps away to grab some tissues to clean up.
Josh noticed the glimmer of your golden cross necklace laying on the table and picked it up, shuffling over to stand behind you as you straightened out your dress, and placing his hands over your shoulders.
“Move your hair for me, angel, your necklace must have come off during our… activities.” You giggled at his phrasing, but lifted your hair away from your neck to allow Josh to do up the clasp of your necklace before letting the cool metal rest against your flushed skin.
“Thanks Josh. I think my mother would have scalded me for not having it on.” You ran your fingers over the small pendant before the brushing of Josh’s lips against your throat distracted you.
“I guess it’s just lucky I noticed it, wouldn’t want anyone knowing that you’re less than holy, would we, angel?”
Neither of you were aware of the presence, but on the opposite side of the door stood Jake. He had his hand lifted to twist the doorknob, but he was frozen in place, the soft sound of your moans replaying in a loop through his head.
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Missed it by a day, oops. Anywho… HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SHAKE MY FAITH!!!
@earthlysorrows our baby 😭
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR SINFUL CHILD!!!
No bc this is exactly the vibe 🤣
📸 @/joshkiszkahateaccount on ig
This is what’s been keeping me up at night
I found this on Pinterest and I have no clue who the OG owner is @ me if it’s yours and also thank you bc omfg
Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Reader
Word count: 4k
Warnings: Pining, Drug Use
Summary: It’s not always easy longing for the person you live with.
It started out as quick glances in his direction. Those tiny seconds grant you a refresher of his delicate features. His eyes, staring off at the TV, were glazed over with freshly harvested honey. So much effort and work by hundreds of tiny little creatures, all for sweet nectar to feed their youth. Though the beekeeper tried to keep the honey clean, little brown specks of honeycomb intertwined with the light amber hues.
His head moved slightly and your gaze quickly shifted back to your book. The tiny words blurred together while your heart rapidly thumped against your rib cage.
Desperate for just another glance, you shyly flicked your eyes away from the paper to confirm that those maple eyes were no longer aimed in your direction. Blushed and rosey were his cheeks, as vibrant as a flower in spring. The pink petals freshly bloomed to bask in the morning sun. You wanted to reach over and let your thumb glide over the velvet petal. Though you wouldn't dare selfishly pluck such a marvelous thing and risk letting it wither prematurely.
On cue he lifted his neck, and you snapped your view onto a poster beside him, looking all too invested in the landscape it held.
Slowly, your neck moved back into position allowing your eyes to lock onto his lips. His bottom lip stuck out into a plump pout. They were nearly as full as a freshly picked strawberry in summertime. You imagined the cool skin of the berry brushing upon your lips, how sweet it may taste once you finally grew the courage for a bite.
Little brown swirls of hair graced his forehead and ears, following loosely around the sides of his face. A few curls strayed away from the path and stuck out every which way.
It was the warmth in his tone that pulled you away from your daydream. “Hey, I think I’m going to go meet Sophia at that one German restaurant you like in about an hour, do you want to join?” His voice was soft as he spoke yet the words managed to crush every admiration you had just thought of.
“Umm.” You filled in the blank space of thought by closing the hard cover book, flicking at the corner nervously. “I was just going to forage through what we had here. I don’t really have the money to go out.” You soothed, flashing a faux smile in hopes he would perceive it as genuine.
“I can pay, I don’t mind.” He pushed, nodding his head as a way to coax you in. His eyelids dropped down as a puppy begging for a treat would. Through the past year of being his roomate, you learned that this look wasn’t a rare occurrence.
“I appreciate it really, but I’ll be alright here. You and her deserve to have some alone time together.” Again, you placed the mask over your face in hopes it would be confused with your skin. With a thick swallow, you adjusted the blanket across your legs and returned back to your book.
Josh watched you adjust. His glance trailed up your thigh as you delicately covered the skin that your shorts hadn't. “I’ll just make sure I have plenty of leftovers then.”
The look you threw in his direction was one he was familiar with at this point. The all too famous, you’re so damn pushy but I love it, furrowed brows with a delicately judgemental undertone.
The smooth gray fabric of the couch was engulfing your body when you heard the three subtle knocks upon the oak door of your shared apartment. You made motions to stand to your feet, but Josh had beat you to it. He radiated excitement, swinging the door open with a toothy grin adorning his blushed cheeks.
“Shit… You look absolutely gorgeous today!” It wasn’t something you wanted to see, as he pulled her in to welcome her embrace with a kiss. Though it twisted the strings of your heart, you couldn’t pull your eyes away.
You tucked your lips inward between your teeth as her hand traveled down his bicep. “Do I not look gorgeous every day?” Sophia’s voice rang between your ears.
Sitting back upon the couch, you opened your book once more in an attempt to distract your mind from what was happening only a few feet away from you. Ignoring the words on the page, the daydream of what life would look like if you were Sophia overtook you.
Your admirations would be otherworldly, ensuring that every second he knew how appreciated he was. You would sit and admire the curls in his hair, rubbing your finger between them to massage his scalp at the end of the day. You would kiss his blushed cheeks every morning as the sun of a new day reflected off his dewy skin.
Every time he complimented you, you would be sure he would have one in return. Every time he’d beckon you, you’d flock to him. You’d be loyal, honest and kind. You’d be everything he wanted and more.
“Helloooo?” Josh’s voice cut through the daydream, your eyelashes flicked up towards him. “There you are. Last chance to come with us tonight. You taking it?”
Behind his shoulder Sophia’s gaze was cutting through you like a dagger, and instead of responding verbally you simply shook your head no.
“Bummer.” Sophia grabbed Josh by the hand, ushering him out of the apartment as soon as she saw your head move. Though he was oblivious, you could see it. The way she dimmed his sunshine and overcasted his mood with her storm cloud.
With the door clicked shut, the silence that overtook the shared apartment allowed your mind to run laps around scenarios you knew would never see the light of day. The tendons within your hands began to shake and you entertained your fingers to try and stop the vibrations.
You needed a way to calm your racing thoughts. Stop your mind from developing the cruel scenarios that plagued you. Once, Josh had mentioned he didn’t mind if you borrowed things from him. If anything he pushed so hard it felt as though he wanted you to share with him.
Your bare feet walked across the chilled hardwood floor, taking you towards the cracked door of Josh’s bedroom. With fingers wrapped against the doorknob, you gently pushed it up. The door creaked, and though you knew you weren’t doing anything wrong the noise had your heart skipping a beat.
The wooden drawer by his bed was the one you were looking for, and you were quick to find it. There were five adorable pre-rolled joints inside the drawer, a little grinder sitting beside them to keep them from rolling all over the place. Beside the grinder was his lighter. The golden zippo lighter reflected every spec of light in the room. A sunset was engraved in the metal, the sun peeking up and out of a body of water below it.
——
The first time you had to enter his bedroom, it was solely to ask if he had a spare bath towel, as you had lost yours in the move. When you had opened his door he was fidgeting with that sunny lighter, a cloud of smoke wafting up and out from his lips.
The way he looked at you, as if he got caught in the middle of the most heinous crime, was still engraved in your memory. He placed his joint in the golden ash tray on his bedside table, and blew every ounce of smoke back out of his lungs.
“Is it too strong? I’m so sorry, I didn’t even ask if the smell would bother you when you moved in.” His hands were frantic as he got off the bed to open the window.
“Josh, it's fine. That’s not why I came in here.” Your words soothed his worries yet he kept the window open to let the smoke roll out of the screen. “I was just seeing if you had an extra bath towel I could borrow.”
He was attentive as you locked your gaze upon the golden bowl of ashes. “Shit. Yeah, there should be a gray towel on the top shelf.” Though you had your answer you remained still in his doorway. “Would you like a hit?”
His hand reached for the joint, inviting you to take a few steps closer. You did. He was sure to pat on the bed beside him, giving you permission to relax and take a seat.
You had been attracted to Josh since the day you went out to coffee to talk about the possibility of being roommates. Your mother had told you not to trust a strange ad but as soon as you saw his curls bounce with each step, you had a gut feeling he was safe.
So now you sat upon his bed, only a foot away from him as he reached over to pass the joint over to you. “So how do I do this?” You pinched the rolled up herb between your fingers and anxiously held it up to your lips.
“First time?” Josh’s smile held strong on one side of his face. His teeth flashed wide, exposing the smallest of gaps between the two that were front and center.
You just nodded, like a helpless child trying desperately to avoid ridicule. You didn’t know it at the time, but ridicule wasn’t a word in Josh’s vocabulary. You returned the blunt back to him.
He flipped open the zippo and let his thumb glide across the flint wheel a few times. The fire illuminated and he cautiously held it to the already burnt tip while taking small inhales on the opposing end.
“So what you want to do is exhale first. Hold it to your lips. Breathe in…” He mimicked his words with actions. “You’ll know you did it right if it tingles a bit, just make sure you aren’t just holding the smoke in your mouth. Really take a breath.”
With the joint between his fingers he held it in place for you. His thumb brushed against your bottom lip, pulling it down as the paper rested between them. You tried to perform as instructed but the burning sensation in your lungs added an additional step. Coughing.
Josh scrunched his nose at you, fully amused by your virgin lungs as they attempted to fight off the cloud of warmth. “Is— this normal?” You hacked, trying hard to hold it back and remain professional.
It startled you as Josh’s hand landed upon the middle of your chest, his palm pressing firm against the skin as he pressed circles that helped to soothe your coughs. “Very normal. Just means you did it right.”
His hand lingered for longer than you thought it would, and the extra time allowed you to process the fact his hand was only inches from your breasts. A cherry red blush traveled from cheek to cheek, using your nose as a bridge.
“Do you feel anything yet?” He lowered his hand from your chest and brought it back towards the bed.
“Maybe a little… What exactly am I feeling for?” Though you knew it wasn’t the answer, right now all you could feel was his pinky pressed against your thigh, rocking back and forth against the skin right below your maroon pajama shorts.
Josh simply chuckled, giving a small shake of his head that sent his loose curls waving back and forth. “You’ll know it when you feel it. Here. One more.”
Again he guided the joint between your lips, only now the two of you were making direct, unbroken eye contact. You repeated your actions, only coughing a few times before the feeling grew familiar.
You felt it. He knew you felt it. You let out a slow, low laugh as the tingling sensation ran up your spine and towards the back of your head. “Holy shit.” You murmured, instantly feeling your eyelids sink down.
“There she is.” He whispered, removing himself from the mattress to pluck a vinyl from his collection to spin. Electric Ladyland by Jimi Hendrix. He delicately placed the plastic upon the player, letting the needle softly find the first groove of the record.
His weight reunited with the mattress that you were now laying back against, your legs still dangling off the edge of the bed frame. “This feels kinda nice.”
“I’m honored. You know, they say the trip is influenced by the people you're with.” He laid back to match your posture, his head turned to the side to take a gander at your profile. “You must trust me a lot to not be anxious, considering I’m essentially a stranger to you.”
Your head turned to face his, noses only inches apart from one another. There was a need to smile, yet that smile grew slower than you had anticipated. “You just seem like a trustworthy dude.”
“Is it the eyes? I get told I have puppy dog eyes more often than you’d think.” He flicked his eyelashes at you, mimicking your smile.
“Hmm.” The thoughts were flowing like maple syrup down the rivers of a cut pancake. “I think it’s the smile.” You reached out to let your thumb touch the corner of his lips before your mental filter could correct you.
“Haven't heard that one yet.” There was nothing he could do to fix his suddenly flustered exposition besides slowly swallow whatever spit he had remaining in his mouth.
The two of you laid still through the first side of the album, enjoying the flow of the music. The record reached its end, yet continued to spin and pop as you and Josh grew silent with slumber.
Unaware and out of your control, your hands found one another. Your warm fingers intertwined with his which were chilled, allowing the two of you to subconsciously connect in a way your conscious mind would never allow.
——
Plucking the joint from the drawer you held it between your lips as the metal wheel of the Zippo rolled beneath your finger. Small sparks turned into a dancing flame and you brought that flame to the edge of the joint to begin the journey of your high. The journey that would calm your quivering nerves.
It didn’t take long for that smoke to travel to your nerves. It steadied your hand enough where you could put on a record, the same record you and Josh had listened to that night.
Granted, you had smoked on many occasions with him since then but something about that first time stuck with you, had you yearning for that moment. It was the transition from strangers to friends. It was the intimacy of trust. It was you waking up to find his hand in yours and just closing your eyes once again.
You flipped the record, feeling as though that side had passed by a lot faster than anticipated. You managed to finish three albums, laying down upon his bed staring up at the ceiling. It wasn’t until the fourth album was delicately placed upon his record player, that Josh made it through the front door.
You didn’t hear the click of the metal as he swung the door open. You didn’t hear his soft call to you, leftovers in hand as he followed the music and walked to his bedroom.
The cloud of smoke escaped from the crack Josh had created in his doorway. “Without me?” He grasped his chest with his free hand, his eyebrows raised in disbelief.
Though you weren’t doing anything wrong, you shot up out of the bed and stood to your feet. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
“You know weed isn’t a sufficient dinner right?” He slipped his white sneakers off to the side and walked around his bed to eventually lay his back against the headboard, legs laid outwards with one crossed over the other.
“I ate.” Your response was too quick, and the warm scent of the Bratwurst drew you back into the bed.
“Oh really? Tell me all about your dinner then.” He teased, knowing damn well that not a single dish had been added to the sink since he had left.
Though claiming they were leftovers the food in the brown cardboard takeout container didn’t have a single bite or indentation. The mashed potatoes were perfectly scooped into a mound, the bratwurst left completely whole.
“Looks to me like you didn’t eat anything either, so are these actually leftovers or did you buy me dinner?” The way he looked at you, with such sympathetic eyes, had you melting.
He plucked the joint from your fingers and took a hit, ignoring your question completely as he mulled over his answer. “I feel like an asshole letting you eat here alone.”
The tiny hairs laying above your eyes furrowed downwards. “Josh. I’m an adult, I can handle myself.” Though you wanted to be proudly independent, Josh’s concern sent your cheeks ablaze.
He tilted his head back, the crown thumping against the wooden headboard. “I understand you can handle yourself but I can’t help but to feel horrible about it. I should be able to go out with my girlfriend and not feel guilty about it, but I do.”
“Josh, you’re too hard on yourself sometimes.” You tried to sooth him, your words pulling his head to the side to make eye contact with you.
His eyelids were softened, eyes flickering back and forth between your own. “What’s worse is that the whole time I was gone, I was worried about you.” Josh brought the rolled herb to his lips again, inhaling deeply on the white cloud of smoke. “I was trying to remember what your favorite was so I could order carry out. I was so damn spaced out Sophia bit my head off for not listening.”
There was a scoff then that slipped through your throat that caught the both of you off guard. With loose lips you ran with it. “When is she not biting your head off?”
You weren’t expecting it but he chuckled. A full hearty chuckle at that. “You don’t see all of it— what?”
He noticed what you’d hoped he hadn’t. Your eyes glossed over, staring at the way his smooth skin wrinkled with the movement of his lips. In your sober state it was difficult to hide the smile his features pulled from you, but high? It was impossible.
“Sorry.” You murmur, looking away and motioning with your hand for him to go on.
“No. What? Tell me.” His tone was smooth and neary monotone. When you looked back his eyes were a bit closer than you remember them being.
“It’s not important, Josh.” The words fell graciously from your lips, delicate enough that they could have been lifted away but the softest breeze.
“Everything you say… is important.” He matched your energy, shifting his weight towards you. His smooth finger grazed your hand, and while you wanted to shiver at his touch you weren’t all too sure if it was on purpose or accidental.
Grabbing a good breath of oxygen to steady your pulse you finally gained some courage back. “You just deserve better. Someone who will actually appreciate what you do for them. Or even have SOME similar interests as you.”
“Do you have anyone in mind?” Your rib cage expanded at his words, eyes widened to let the whites of your eyes show bright.
There was a gulp. “Not in particular.” The finger against your skin looped around your pinky, and the warmth alone had your eyes fluttering shut.
“I think I might know someone.”
“Who?”
The breath of his nostrils hit you first, followed by the touch of those strawberry lips across yours. Your assumptions were proven true, they were as sweet and as supple as they looked. You savored that first bite of the fruit, whining against your teeth as he pulled it away all too soon.
It was wrong. You knew it was wrong. It wasn’t Sophia’s fault they didn’t mesh well and fuck you told yourself you’d never be what pulled them apart. Though he was more addicting than any drug on the market. Worse than a snort of coke or a single oxycodone.
You already craved more.
Josh was in the exact same boat as you and thus went back in for more at the exact same time you leaned in. The weight of your body rolled on top of him, as you both had a hand upon each other's cheek.
The two of you continued to let your lips intertwine, so starved for the touch that the two of you put off for months now. Josh’s hand traveled down your side to grasp your hip, and reluctantly you pulled away from him.
His lips were swollen and blushed over, glistening and delicious. His eyes were lazily open as if too mesmerized to register you had left his lips.
“I should go to bed…” You whisper to yourself, but he heard it. He didn’t persist, only nodded his head and observed you stand with furrowed brows. “I’ll… talk to you tomorrow.”
As soon as you turned away from him the warm rivers of guilt flooded your eyes and let loose down your flushed cheeks.
He wasn’t yours to kiss.
The bed that always lulled you to sleep was now trying to comfort you as you wallowed in culpability. So inevitably, instead of sleeping you pulled the green cased laptop from your bedside and browsed apartment listings nearby.
Too engulfed in the artificial light of the screen, you failed to realize the natural light of the sunrise was now peaking through your blinds. Little white lines appeared on your bedroom door, ones that only appeared twice a day.
It was the sound of your door opening that brought your vision away from the laptop sitting between your legs. Josh, with messy bed hair and puffy under eyes, was standing where the wooden door once was. The little lines of light shining horizontally across his face and bare chest.
“Hey… about last night.” He murmured, voice grumbly and nearly as tired sounding as you felt.
“Don’t worry… I’ve been looking at apartment listings all night. I think I found a few options.” You interrupted, staring back down at the laptop, unable to make eye contact with him.
“Wait what?” He quizzed, a tinge of disappointment in his now deepened tone. “Why would you do that?”
“Because me being here isn’t good for us. For your relationship. Fuck, Josh can’t you see that? I made you cheat on Sophia. I need to leave.”
“You really think I’d cheat on someone?” He whispered, walking over to sit beside you in the bed. He leaned over to push the laptop from your legs and gently click it closed.
You sat there waiting for his explanation, looking up at him through your eyelashes.
“Sophia and I called it quits last night.” He began. “I think I’ve known for a while now I’ve just been too scared to admit it. Until last night.” His hands rubbed the back of his neck slowly.
“After I had zoned out she took the conversation into her own hands and asked if I was truly happy with her… I couldn’t answer.”
Your eyebrows sank down as you listened to his story.
“She knew. I think I made it painfully obvious and she was done letting me be too nice to continue to live life away from the person I know I’ve truly needed for a while now…”
Josh leaned forward to press his palm upon your cheek. You neary purred against his warmth. “And who is that?”
“You.”
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@gretasmokerising @capturethechaos @dannysgf @st4rdust-ch0rds @softlikesilkchiffon @shutupdevvie @andromeda-raine-gvf @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @lunaindigoraven @myownparadise96 @of-infinite-wonders @jakeyboiiiiiii @golden-van-fleet @tearsofbri @josh-iamyour-mama @gardensgatedaisy @gvfgroopie19 @hippievanfleet @lightmylove-gvf
Had a great time at the Detroit show tonight! I thought it would be hard to top DIG but they did it.
Keeping Up With You
Josh Kiszka x gn!reader
Summary: “Mornings are meant to be spent with you,” Josh blurts out, nerves obvious in his voice. “Soft rock music playing while I bestow a thousand kisses across your body.”
Or
A coming back together story
A/N: FLLUFFIEST AND ANGSIEST writing to date. The premise of this fic follows along the lyrics of tommy’s party by peach pit. One of my favorite songs so you should go listen as soon as possible.
Word Count: 8.9k | Warnings: breakup angst, alcohol consumption and weed consumption, swearing probably, ANGST and Happy Ending!
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You were running late. Not for anyone’s fault but your own. You didn’t want to go to Sam’s party, and yet, out of obligation or something like spite, you were dragging yourself there. You loved him and you loved all your friends that you were bound to see, but there was a nagging sense in your stomach that you were going to regret the entire night.
Maybe it was for liquid courage that you cracked a hard kombucha while you had gotten ready and then took a few (three) shots before stumbling out of your front door to the uber you had called half an hour after the start time of the party that was across town. Sam, like all the rich people in your life, chose to live in the nicest part of town and you couldn’t fault him even if it meant your uber cost an extra 10 dollars for the longer drive than if he had his party at a bar downtown like any civilized adult.
Walking into the party felt kind of like walking back into high school. Out of place somewhere you already didn’t want to be, searching for a lifeline. You saw the one person you’d probably know the best immediately upon entering. Sam was by the door, yammering about how the house needed more lights to the three unwilling participants in his drunken house tour. You called his name, getting his attention before getting pulled into a sloppy hug. You grinned and yelled over the bass-heavy rock “Happy Birthday, dude!”
Sam grinned back and yelled that there were drinks in the kitchen and to PLEASE help yourself. You bit your lip and gave two thumbs up to him and the people in his little entourage, before slipping past them to his kitchen, where you planned to help yourself, heavily.
There were more hard kombuchas sprawled across the countertop that were calling your name until a bottle of semi-decent-looking whiskey tucked in the back of the array of alcohol caught your eye. Scrawled messily across the label in black sharpie was the claim “JAKE’S” and you chuckled to yourself before pouring a double shot of it into the compostable disposable cup you had picked up from the stack at the far end of the counter. If it came to blows with that particular Kiszka, you knew you could take him.
You added in some root beer to the whiskey after checking that no one was around to see it and gulped at the drink, a little spilling down your chin with the amount of vigor you had used. You needed the alcohol haze on your mind to get heavier before you could face anything more at this party. The lights were dim and the music was thumping, people were talking loudly and laughing louder and you felt impossibly alone. And anxious.
The unknown hand that descended on your shoulder didn’t help the anxiety, but managed to placate the lonliness. You jumped, sloshing a little bit of your drink before whipping around to scold the owner of said hand.
“You swipe from my whiskey business, trouble?” Jake inquired with an arched brow.
Your eyes were wide on his face, before glancing down at your cup and back up to him, a bite of your lip overtaking your face. Guilt.
Jake’s usual casual smirk that he sported in situations where he was comfortable morphed into a grin. There was a tinge of sadness in his face, but he hoped the smile masked it enough. “Oh, c’mon, you know you can always take from my private collection. You’re the only one who can stomach it besides me, anyway.” He pulls you into a side-hug that is stilted but attempting to be comforting. “Wouldn’t have left it out if I didn’t want you to have some.”
You tried for a smile and took a sip. He’d left it out, hoping you would show. “Thanks, Jake. Your handwriting is atrocious, by the way.”
Jake’s smirk returns as he chuckles, his hair falling forward from behind his shoulders. It’s gotten long again since you’d last seen him. You didn’t want to think about the last time you’d seen him. Your eyes cast anxiously to the two entrances to the kitchen, searching and double-checking that no one else had come through the doors to surprise you.
Jake notices and leans into the countertop with his hip. “I was just about to go light up? Care to join?” He lifts up the joint she hadn’t noticed in his hand before.
“I don’t know…” You start, unsure why you would decline a chance to be away from the crowd already. Maybe how Jake was staring at you, the way he terribly hid his concern for you. Would he try to ask you how you were really? Weed always made him more earnest. But weed could help you, so long as you kept Jake away from certain talking points. All this going through your mind and what you swore was a certain head of curls pushing through the crowd at the far door of the kitchen made you say, “Uh, sure. Let’s do it.”
Jake went to say something in the way of how pleased he was, but just a quiet squeak came out when you quickly began to move out of the kitchen and away from the approaching curls. You grabbed Jake’s hand with the joint in it by the wrist and flipped on your heel, leading him out of the kitchen door you had entered through. You weaved through the people in the hallway, towards the closed door to the side yard where the light was off. It was unlocked thankfully and you quickly felt around the exterior wall for a switch you knew was there, before the empty outdoor space was illuminated. The music was muffled once the door was shut and you sat on the measly single concrete step below the door.
“Sam should really do something with this space,” you mumble, feeling capable of breathing and thinking and living once more.
Jake shrugged and leaned against the wall, looking down at you and then around the empty side yard. It was an afterthought, but why did you care? He was still trying to catch his breath from the sprint you had just performed to get you out of the house in what seemed like 5 seconds flat.
“I don’t think I’ve moved that quickly outside of a motorized vehicle in years.” Jake sighed.
“You should get a Peloton. It’s great.”
“I work out,” Jake says indignantly. “You just fucking flew, though.” Then he adds. “I didn’t know you had a Peloton.”
You shuffle your feet, staring at them as they move in no particular pattern. “Yeah…it was a gift.” You cough. “It’s a great stress reliever as well as a workout machine.”
Jake hums, a wave of realization washes over him as his eyes watch you, clumsily messing with your feet and your free hand. He doesn’t say anything else on the subject, though, and brings the joint to his lips, slipping his shiny silver zippo from his back pocket. It lights and he puffs on the filter.
There was no breeze tonight. No stars and no moon. It was like the sky had taken the night off–which you weren’t sure was allowed. And yet, there it was, endless black. Your hand expertly took the joint from Jake’s outstretched fingers.
“I’ve been on a T-break for the last few months,” you say when you hand back the joint.
Jake raises a brow again as he begins to puff on it again.
“Well, I said I quit, but here I am getting high, so it must’ve been a T-break.”
Jake chuckles and coughs a little on the smoke that catches in his throat from his laughter. You grimace in silent apology, accepting the joint back. Jake asks one single question for the remainder of the joint and for that you are grateful, even if it’s one of the worst questions he could’ve asked. After he asks it, he’ll leave you alone, but it’s killing him not to know. Or at least, try to know. You had been such a good friend to him and he missed having you around lately. He knew he couldn’t say that though. It wasn’t his place, but still one measly question couldn’t hurt.
He was lucky you were feeling so light and airy from the weed when he asked. If he had tried the question when you had first arrived or when he found you in the kitchen, you’re pretty sure you would’ve turned tail and run home crying.
“How are you really doing?” He inquires.
“I’m really high.” You laugh.
Jake sits beside you and turns his head, holding the joint out to the ground for ash to fall and the weed to burn with no lips around it to inhale the smoke. He says your name once and you know he’s serious.
You sigh and stick your legs out straight in front of you, your skirt flattens across your thighs nicely but you smooth your hands across it anyway and then grab at your drink beside you to take a sip. It’s almost empty. You look in his eyes for a moment and there’s that sadness and concern again.
“Did not want to come.” You say and Jake nods. “Came. For Sam.” You clarify and Jake nods again. “I know I’ll see him eventually. It’s fine. I’m fine.”
Jake nods and pats a hand gingerly on your shoulder and you grimace at your lap. He was trying so hard to navigate a difficult situation and you admired his courage.
“Thank you, Jake. For the smoke.” You say and pause, mustering your courage to just blurt it out. You stare at the wooden fence across from you. “And for being my friend, still. You’re a good guy.”
Jake shakes his head and pokes out the joint, not interested in smoking it anymore. “And you are too. A good friend…who deserves happiness.”
Your lips spread into a smile and you look at Jake in the eye for a moment before knocking your forehead against his own shoulder. Something you always appreciated about Jake was his ability to understand non-verbal communication. He allowed you to do that and understand it was you thanking him. Even if you couldn’t say more on the topic. He knew.
Jake blew out a breath after a moment, “Jesus, fuck, I’m high as shit.”
You giggle and it feels louder and sillier than anything you’d done all night. Oh fuck. “Yeah. I think I am too. Good stuff.”
“Josh’s,” Jake mumbles, moving to crawl back to standing, he needed water. “Sorry.” He mumbled with widened eyes when he realized the word, the name, that had left his mouth.
You roll your eyes and hold your arms out for Jake to help you stand. “He’s not some super-villain. Just my ex and your twin. You can say his name.”
Your eyes matched Jake’s red and droopy eyes as you stared at each other once he brought you to standing, both of you taking in each other’s state. It’s tense and quiet, the thumping music heavy at the door.
You keep your hands in Jake’s, enjoying his warm caloused hands. So much like someone else’s, yet so different. “Do we have to go back in?”
“I mean…” Jake looked down his nose at you. His voice dropped lower to a raspy almost-whisper. “We should probably go back. Right?”
You smile lazily at Jake and then drop his eye contact, looking at your feet, how close the two of you were standing, and then taking a step back. He was giving you the option, but you both knew there was only one right answer.
“Back inside it is.” You add a laugh to try to not sound too bleak. “To face the gallows.”
“I still think you’d make it as a comedian, trouble,” Jake adds.
The tension dissipates. Whatever crack in the wall that was there, a tiny possibility that could’ve grown if you wanted, was patched over and covered. Forgotten. You and Jake were friends. A lot of shared history and a lot of understanding, but it was better this way.
“My one man show,” you say, shaking off the memories of when it was a duo act. You and Josh loved a good bit and would drag them out as long as you could, staying in character for entire nights out or, once, an entire week during a family vacation. “I’m good, man.” You reassure Jake when he looks at you concerned again, with his hand on the door handle.
The music grows louder but is more muffled than before as the weed and alcohol successfully contain you in their all consuming bubble. You were thankful for the moment to gather yourself and to remind you that facing Josh might not be all that horrible. You could do anything when stoned, this was something you truly believed especially when the high was in its starting area, when you were first plunged into the strange warm fuzzy place in your brain.
Jake’s hand on your back pushed you through the crowd and you heard the words “refill” and “water” leave his lips so you began to wander towards the kitchen again. Once back, you’re mildly disappointed to see it’s not empty. It’s not crowded, there’s just three other small groups of twos and threes getting refills or lingering after having gotten their refills. The night was progressing, meaning more inebriation caused more plans to be forgotten half way through. Expert missions of moving from one area of the house to the next were abandoned when the roadmaps slipped from the de facto leader of the small groups’ brain when they had another sip of their drink of choice. You knew because you used to come to parties like these with groups.
Now you were a lone shark, or maybe just the remora to Jake’s lone shark, attaching yourself to him, just along for the ride as he made the decisions. He expertly slipped past the huddled groups without interactions, just nods of chin and his smirk. You noticed some of the whispers and shared looks from some of the people in those groups as you passed by, but chose to believe they were about how handsome and mysterious Jake was and not how you were with him.
Jake looked between the faucet and the cups he had forgotten were at the end of the counter, debating whether he would go back for one or not. Shaking his head after a moment of weighted silence, he opened the cupboard to the right of the sink and grabbed one of Sam’s precious souvenir pint glasses and filled it with water. You watched in mild awe that Jake did not fear his little brother’s annoying nagging if caught and desire for water to touch your cotton-mouth-y, well, mouth.
Jake stuck the glass under the faucet again and refilled it before holding it out towards you and you smiled. Accepting the glass, you turned it in your hand, observing the etching of Snoopy and Woodstock dressed as chefs holding a gigantic sandwich with the word ‘Philadelphia’ in red bold letters above them. Sam was weird, but you respected his collection. You’d even gifted him a ‘San Francisco’ one for Christmas a couple years ago with Snoopy and the Peanuts dressed up for a Giants game.
You sipped at the water and let it wash into the various pockets of your mouth before swallowing, humming in satisfaction. “Good stuff.” You repeated.
“Only the best.” Jake responds. “Whiskey time?”
He doesn’t wait for your answer since you're drinking more of the water. He picks up your abandoned cup and his own and snatches his whiskey from behind the more popular liquors: grey goose vodka in multiple flavors besides the classic, a few okay gins and tequila–tons of it.
You take the cup filled with whiskey straight and you grimace. You weren’t in the mood to drink much more, feeling plenty fucked up, and you definitely weren’t in the mood to stomach whiskey on its own. You do an obligatory cheers motion with Jake and pretend to take a sip.
“I forgot to tell you,” Jake suddenly says with a burst of energy and you widen your eyes, startled. “We’re doing a set later.”
“What?”
“Sam wants to, for his birthday. Have a jam sesh.” Jake shrugs and slips his phone out of his coat pocket, checking the time. “Honestly should probably check the setup, make sure no one trampled the gear. C’mon.”
You would think professional musicians would want a break from their job for their birthdays, but these guys loved it so much it was hard to keep them away. Plus, knowing Sam, he’d probably insisted on choosing the set list, making Jake and Josh take a reluctant backseat to what they would play. Were you intrigued? Yes. Completely and utterly apprehensive to watch Josh perform? Double yes.
You followed Jake out of the kitchen and through the bodies in the living room towards the open French doors leading to the patio and backyard. Sam had a temporary stage set up at the back of the yard that no one was standing on or messing with besides Danny who was checking his drum kit was okay already. Everything on the stage was secondary personal stuff, none of it their expensive favorites, but it still wouldn’t be great if any of it got wrecked.
A boisterous and booming laugh took your eyes off of Danny and made you fall out of step with Jake. Right beside the stage was Josh, grin plastered across his face and beer can sloshing haphazardly as he swung his arms wide as he regaled his small group with a big important story he dramatized to be even grander than it had been.
Your eyes scanned the group surrounding him, focusing hard to make out the faces in the dim light as you tried to keep walking, following blindly behind Jake who was pausing at the edge of the stage on the opposite end from Josh. You swallow hard and debate taking another sip of the whiskey, but decide it won’t help. Your legs finally bring you to standing awkwardly beside, but slightly behind, Jake as he talks with Danny. You positioned yourself to be slightly in Jake’s shadow unintentionally.
Danny greets you and your eyes flicker to him for a moment before returning to Josh, just a few feet from you now, but he still hasn’t seen you. You mumble a ‘hi’ and Jake explains for you that you were likely on a different planet from the joint you had shared. You nodded perfunctorily and then stuck your cup into Jake’s chest.
“I can’t drink this,” you say, barely above a whisper, still watching Josh.
He was winding down from the story, you could tell. His audience was enraptured, with one particular girl close by his side that you didn’t recognize. She was grinning, shiny and bright as she watched Josh in all his inebriated glory. In his element. Entertaining. It was magic to be so close to him in those moments, how it felt spiritual when he caught your eye inches away. How his teeth seemed to smile just for you when he placed his hand on your shoulder.
And there it was. Josh rested his arm around the beautiful girl’s shoulders, palm pressing her closer to him as he laughed and grinned. She smiled at him and you swore you saw him wink. It was drunken and dopey, but you saw it.
You hadn’t felt Jake take the cup from your grasp, but your hand fell to your side, now empty. Danny and Jake followed your eyeline and then met each other’s eyes and frowned a little.
“How about you sit right here?” Jake huddled you towards a lawn chair that was close to the stage, but against the house wall so no one would bump into it.
“So I get a front row seat to it all?” You mumble miserably.
“Here,” Danny says, passing his hyrdroflask from behind the drum kit to Jake, who hands it to you, flipping the mouthpiece open and instructing you to drink.
You should’ve left once you could feel your legs again, but you couldn’t stop staring. Thankfully, Josh hadn’t noticed. You probably would’ve died on the spot if he had caught your intense eye. Instead he gives the girl a squeeze and mumbles something into her ear. She laughs loudly and stumbles on her feet a little as she steps back from him. Josh turns towards the stage and clambers onto the top of it. If it wasn’t clear to you before, his lack of agility cemented it. He was close to belligerent, but holding himself together well.
It would be laughable when he almost tilts over right after he’s stood upright finally, but you’re not the person who can find that funny anymore without seeming cruel. Instead, you decide to take a sip of Danny’s water and shut your eyes, tilting your head back against the wall, hoping to ride out the rest of this night in a strange detached state. If no one spoke to you for the rest of the night you would be happy.
You willed away the disparate images passing behind your shut eyelids. A different reality your mind had conjured up specifically to torture you it seemed. Where you were beside Josh just then and the two of you had tumbled up onto the stage. First you guide his hips up and then he pulls you up after him, the pair of you happily and drunkenly falling over one another, tangling yourselves up into a few cables in the process. You two were laughing through it all and then Josh would stop and smile the smile that was just for you, a special gleam of love in his eyes you’d grown used to. He’d cup your cheeks between his palms and pull your face to his, a big blistering kiss bestowed upon your lips quieting your own laughter. It would lead you to falling deeper into love with the man who really saw you and forgetting where you were. And then the boys would holler at the pair of you and you’d hide your face in Josh’s jacket before he’d help you up, with a pat to your bum before you inevitably made it back to the seat you were in now.
No. Now there was only this chair. And a borrowed water bottle to touch your lips. Fuck. You moved your mind to your escape plan.
The music would start soon anyway and then you could probably slip out to call an uber after a few songs. You heard Sam join the rest of the band on the wooden stage a few minutes later, his long legs thumping as he jumped up onto the stage and his drunken voice louder and whinier as he asked Danny to check his bass for him, since he was the birthday boy.
You peek out of one eye, too amused to miss the visuals of this exchange and see Danny shaking his head and muttering under his breath as he picks up Sam’s bass. Sam is smiling triumphantly with his hands on his hips, tapping his foot impatiently like the prince he was. Then your eyes slide to the right and see Jake and Josh huddled around Jake’s amp.
Just close your eyes. But you can’t.
Josh is all antsy. He’s waving his hands about and rocking Jake’s shoulders. Jake’s murmuring words below his breath trying to placate whatever situation his twin seems to be troubled by. You know it’s wrong to strain your ears to hear the conversation but you can’t help it.
“…just aren’t really my thing.” You catch the end of Josh’s slurred sentence. He’s still grinning as he complains.
Jake shakes his head. “They’re Sam’s thing since it’s Sam’s birthday.”
“I know we agreed to it but can’t we just, I don’t know, not?”
Jake laughed a little and tried to hide it with a cough, his eyes sliding to you for a quick moment. “Josh, it’s like 5 songs.”
“I’m slammed, man,” Josh stumbles on his footing, adding to his case accidentally.
“Just sing the choruses and then hit some high notes. He wants to jam anyway, you’re not on frontman duty tonight.”
“Oh please, Jake. I’m always on frontman—“ Josh’s train of thought runs off the tracks when his eyes finally catch yours.
You freeze. You weren’t moving anyway but you freeze all the same. Blood runs cold. Spine rigid. You don’t know how to breathe and you were right. You are going to die.
Josh is frozen too and Jake watches it unfold. Both of your faces were completely open with the pain. You could see it around the eyebrows and the lips and how it swelled through the irises of your eyes as you looked at one another.
Someone smashing a beer can followed by the electric thrum of a bassline makes you bring your free hand up in the air. It’s supposed to be a wave as it travels to the height of your head and then loses momentum, pausing for a moment as Josh’s eyes flicker to the movement before it falls again.
You drop your gaze to your lap while Josh stays on you. His similarly intense gaze burns you. He wants to come talk to you even though he has absolutely no idea what he’d say to you anyway. His feet even begin to lurch towards the end of the stage nearest you, but Jake pulls him back.
That succession of chords on Sam’s bass was his signal that he wanted to get the jam session started. It was followed by a verbal announcement from the birthday boy as well.
“Everyone come outside now. It’s time to hear me play sweet sweet music for you.” Sam says into the mic before handing it off to Josh.
Josh looks over at you one more time but you make sure your eyes are anywhere else on the stage but his face. He licks his lips and swaggers to center stage.
“Friends and family, loved and loathed ones, day trippers and moonbeam chasers,” Josh pauses for the roar of the crowd. Smaller than their concerts, obviously, but still spirited for the size of this party. “What a glorious fucking night to celebrate the birth of the youngest Kiszka.”
Maybe Danny expected Josh to say more because there’s a pause before the drum kicks in. Josh turns on his heel to face Danny and signals him to start. Danny counts them in and Jake walks them into a perfect cover of “The Lemon Song.”
Josh hated doing Led Zeppelin covers but Sam loved the bassline on this song. He’d been obsessed with it when he first started playing and Jake enjoyed the guitar on it too. So here Josh was, proving every critic correct that he could sound just like Robert Plant. Jake shredded away on Jimmy’s solo chords and then lowered his amp for an extended moment to give Sam a proper bass solo. And Josh admittedly got into the song, feeling the vibrations through his chest, getting lost on stage.
They transitioned straight into “Cold Cold Cold” and “Feel Good Inc.” Both with heavy basslines. Josh liked these two because he got to use his tambourine in the first and had few words in the second. He also skipped a lot of the words in the songs, not knowing them, but holding the microphone towards the crowd, telling them to sing along when it was the chorus or popular parts of them.
Then they took a break. Normally Josh might joke around. Tell a story about Sam when he was a weird little kid. Instead, he just took a swig from his beer beside the unutilized mic stand and talked in Jake’s ear until Sam signaled he was ready to continue. He had moved to the keyboard he had also brought out for the evening.
“This one’s a little on the nose but, hey, what little bro wants, little bro gets.”
Josh started singing the first verse of “I’m going to be a teenage idol” and you grimaced. You loved Elton John and if you thought more highly of yourself you would’ve thought Josh’s reluctance to sing this song was because it reminded him of you.
He tritely pointed to himself when he sang “it kind of makes me feel like a rock and roll star.” He paced around the stage, continuously sweeping his hands towards Sam as he expertly played the hard keys for the song. He sipped at his beer and belted one of the later verses with a passion that masked what you knew was sadness. Josh was a professional, so he knew how to keep his shit together even when he was drunk, but he wanted off this stage and you knew it.
Then the song ended. Your eyes watching Josh’s demeanor shift. “Thankfully this one isn’t…or is it?”
“Psycho Killer” started up and you couldn’t help the laugh that came past your lips. You pressed your hand to your mouth, feeling like you were betraying yourself. Josh hadn’t looked your way since they had started but somehow either his trained ear heard that or he had some psychic sense, because he stared at you again, faltering on the classic song’s lyrics.
Given the conversation you eavesdropped on, you weren’t sure if they had planned to play “Happiness is a Warm Gun” but they transitioned into it seamlessly from the last so they didn’t stop and Josh knew all the words. You two had listened to the Beatles’ white album countless times together. It was your favorite of theirs. You’d put it on all the time with Josh and he’d happily listen along, always acquiescing to your arguments about it even though he preferred Let It Be. On lazy Sunday mornings when you never got out of bed until dinner time. On the road, for tour or for road-trips you’d take together up to the cabin or little Airbnbs you’d found in cool spots.
This wasn’t your song though and for that you were thankful. You might’ve thrown up if for some reason Sam had added that to the setlist. You might’ve found a way to time travel and kill Paul McCartney before he could add a bassline to that song if that would’ve stopped that. You’d give up the existence of that song before Josh sang it in front of a small crowd where you weren’t the one he was singing it for anymore.
Again, your imagination was running wild tonight. Seeing Josh’s beautiful face brought back every memory you had with him. The last few years had been the best years of your life. Meaning that these past few months have been the hardest of your life. Half the time you weren’t even sure if it was life anymore.
So many memories were from nights just like tonight, but he wouldn’t be some distant figure causing building anxiety as you steal glances at one another from across the yard. You used to be the one keeping up with him, telling stories together and getting drunk to aid in your fun rather than to run away from your hangups. Stealing kisses and sneaking off to empty hallways or plain taking off early to be alone together again.
You couldn’t help getting lost in the sound of Jake making the guitar riffs his own, the velvet of Josh’s voice and how all four of them meshed their instruments so expertly, making any song something special. Your eyes had shut and you were swaying in your seat to the music. Loving it. This piece of connection could never be severed. All your silly feelings forgotten for one blissful moment before the music came to an abrupt and cruel end.
Sam took the mic from Josh who almost let it carelessly fall to the floor. “Thank you all for coming! Love you guys!” Sam quickly called before being pulled off the stage by his girlfriend who was eager to make out with her man.
You grimaced. You knew how she felt. Goddamnit.
Josh doesn’t immediately come up to you. Not that you were hoping for that. You actually were dreading the moment when you two finally spoke again. You two hadn’t had much contact since the breakup, so your last verbal conversation had been about you picking up the rest of your stuff from his place in December. Over the phone. You still had a key so you came when he was out.
You pinched the bridge of your nose and sat forward, willing those memories to stay put in the locked cabinet you were never going to revisit. Leaving seemed like a good idea now. You’d paid your birthday dues, shown up and even stayed for the show. Slipping off seemed ideal. You just needed to return Danny’s water bottle to him.
He was still at the bandstand, in front of his drum kit with Jake and another guy from their work, Brian (you think). You stood, feeling a little better but still pretty high given your major break from the drug prior to tonight. You blinked a few times, double checking that none of the guys in the small huddle transformed into Josh suddenly before you got to them.
Jake gave you a hand up onto the stage and you thanked him, before handing Danny his water and thanking him for it as well. He reassures you that it was his pleasure and then he thanked you for leaving him water in it. He was a wonder to you and you smiled genuinely at his kindness. You missed him. You missed all of them.
You rocked on your heels and fidgeted your hands to rest on your hips. “Well, I’m gonna head out I think. This was plenty for me and my old self.” You proclaim when the conversation lulls.
Jake nods, not even trying to get you to stay, whereas Maybe Brian protests, saying the night was still young. Danny shoots him a look with a subtle head shake and you smile at your feet. These guys still had your back and for that you were grateful. You hugged Danny and told him to tell Sam goodbye for you in case you didn’t bump into him on your way out. As you were leaning into Jake’s warm side for the second time tonight, a voice interrupts the farewells.
“Dan, have you seen my elf–” Josh stops talking again, eyes widening on your face.
You don’t freeze this time, immediately dropping away from Jake. It wasn’t wrong, but you also couldn’t face Josh while touching his twin. Josh must have missed you within the group, hidden among the taller men.
“Hey, I was just leaving,” You say, your voice quivering a little with nerves, barely aware of what you were saying.
“Hello,” Josh slurs after a weighted moment. His eyes slid along your face and down your entire body, as if they had been starved of you since he’d last looked at you. He looks away, back to Danny. “I think, perhaps, I left it in the kitchen. Thanks Daniel.” He flips on his heel and wanders off.
You can’t help but watch him go. It’s not your fault your eyeline is directly aligned with where the girl from earlier is positioned right next to the door to inside. Or that you catch how he pulls her back into his side and she laughs at whatever he has said just for her. It was right in front of you. What were you supposed to do? Tear your eyeballs out? Now that’s a thought.
His bright mustard jacket eventually disappears between the various bodies and his hair is obscured by the dim lights in the house. He’s gone, laughing with her just like you two used to.
“Well, if that’s not my cue,” You let the silence that follows finish your thought for you.
Jake apologizes for Josh and you tell him it’s not necessary. Really. It’s been five months. It was mutual. If anything it was you who initiated it. If Josh can’t speak to you or if he’s seeing someone new. That’s just fine. Fine. So fine.
Your uber takes you home and you don’t cry. You don’t let yourself. Something possesses you in the morning to type out an email though. You’re not sure why you don’t just send a text. The email feels less personal, less intimate than a text. Less risky. And somehow more private. It was almost like sending a letter, which you used to send Josh on occasion–of course, those were love letters.
Hey there bud… You look at the words and almost throw your computer out of the window. Bud? Bud!? You couldn’t write anything else though, anything less was too little, too strange, anything more, like his name, was too intimate, too much.
How’d it go last night?
Your love letters used to read like poetry and you guessed this was kind of like that, but it wasn’t a love letter. You still could just save it as a draft and never send it after all.
I saw you at the bandstand looking pretty slammed. You used the exact word Josh had described himself last night. It had been repeating in your mind all night. Did you see me feeding my drink to Jake? Probably not I guess, you were quite the mess. And that girl who tagged along there with you, I never caught her name, but she seemed fucked up too.
You read it over and thought that it was maybe too harsh. But it was the truth. You needed to get it off your chest. He hadn’t let you talk last night so you wanted to share your night with him now even if you hadn’t gotten to last night.
From where I sat, she looked to be havin’ fun, keeping up with you just like I used to.
How’d it go last night? I’m sorry to have ditched out but I was pretty high. Heard from Danny that on his stumble home, Jake was puking up all the shit he’d drunk.
Though we didn’t talk much, how’d your evening go? You barely spoke a word to me, besides that slurred “Hello”... I happened to see without even trying, how she laughed with you just like I used to.
You were rambling, you couldn’t get it all out. But you cut yourself off. That was all you could say. So you read it over about five more times and changed a few commas and added spacing and you wondered if Josh would think you had gone off the deep end with this one. Your first form of communication with him in months. By e-mail for some reason.
The thought of not sending it crossed your mind a few more times before you took a breath and hovered the mouse over the ‘Send’ button. Finally clicking it when you finished the exhale. You wanted him to know.
-
When Josh woke up, close to noon with an awful hangover and an unfamiliar bed, he groaned and covered his face when the headache pounded against his skull harder.
“Fuck my life,” he murmured. He rolled from his back to his side, his legs swinging to tether him to the carpeted floor. Where the fuck was he?
“You’re awake!” The girl popped her head in, her hair wet from the shower she had just taken. “Do you want breakfast? Or coffee?”
“Uh…” Josh stared at his feet, wiggling his toes to remind him of reality. “No, I should go home.”
She smiles, sporting her best look, as if last night hadn’t emotionally wrecked her like it had Josh. That actually made sense. “Yeah. See you again soon?”
“Yeah. I’ll call you…” Josh reassures, beginning to put his pants on. His words were an afterthought as he pieced together last night's events. “Have fun at your ceramics class today!”
He shuffled out of the door just as she responded, towel still messing with her tips. “It’s painting!”
Josh mumbled his apologies as he walked down the street hoping that his car would pop up among the different vehicles parked on the street. He definitely hadn’t driven there after the party but maybe he had brought his car to her place beforehand. He was still working through the night. And his mind was focused on all the moments where you had popped up.
He’d seen you disappear out of the kitchen with his brother. He’d seen you next to the bandstand a couple times and then he’d seen you when he’d drunkenly asked Danny if he’d seen his elfbar. Could he be more of an idiot? He rubbed at his pained forehead again as he looked up and down the street once more before deciding that he hadn’t driven his car to this woman’s house.
They’d gone out on a couple of dates, set up by mutual friends that were closer with her than Josh but he was trying and he wanted to try. Even if all he really wanted to do was call you and beg you to forget about the last few months.
Too focused on making it home and one to always dismiss his email notifications, Josh didn’t notice the message from you until he had made it home and successfully made himself a pot of coffee and had a necessary shower, leaving him in his sweatpants and curled up in his bed that used to be shared, ‘ours’.
His phone had been charging so he unplugged it and rolled to the other side of the bed, which he still felt guilty for. Like you’d walk through the door any moment and playfully grumble at him for being a bed hog.
Complete privacy and total boredom eventually made him check his e-mail. He might have a package coming after all, he couldn’t remember, and his headache had mostly cleared away but looming anxieties nagged at him. He couldn’t keep getting drunk and hooking up with his casual flings. It was going to catch up with him and he knew it. He just hated to admit it.
Your name on his screen was especially sobering. He had longed for it to pop up. Preferably in a phone call or text format, asking to meet up and talk over everything one more time that actually leads to you getting back together. But hey, he’d settle for an e-mail at this point. Because that is what he had received.
He took a deep breath and allowed his hovering thumb to click down on it. It was your poem/accusation and he read it over and over double checking that it was indeed your words and not lyrics from a song or someone else. No, he recognized your voice in the words and how you phrased it. The ‘hey there bud’ made him laugh. You were so weird. He missed it.
All the love letters were in his side table drawer still. Maybe it would’ve been healthier to move them to a box not so close to where he slept, but he couldn’t bear it. You used to post them from around town so that they could get sent to the house you both lived in. It sent him over the moon whenever he recognized your handwriting of his name on the front of a piece of mail and you’d giggle behind your cup of coffee, slyly slinking off to let him read it in private.
After he’d finish reading, he’d wander the house until he found you and press kisses all over your face while he repeated confessions of love, over and over while you shrieked and laughed at his attack of love.
This e-mail made him sad, but also hopeful. He was going to reply.
Hey there…How’d last night go for you? I know when I saw you at the bandstand, I said I was slammed to Jake. Did you overhear or is that just some strange coincidence? I probably should’ve given some of my drinks away. I was quite the mess, you’re right.
And the girl…she’s a part of the mistakes I’ve been making since the break up. I’m sorry you had to see that. And I’m sorry all I said was Hello. I didn’t know what to say…as you could probably tell. Josh smiled down at his phone, your eyes had been so wide with surprise upon seeing him up so close. The look on your face had been a dagger to his heart, twisting deeper when you said you were heading out.
I was thinking back just the other day, remember when we used to sneak out late to go and blaze after everyone else at the party had gone home or passed out?
Seems like loneliness is all we’ll ever do now. At least for me. Maybe you weren’t lonely, I don’t want to assume. I was surrounded by people all night, these past four months too, and I’ve never felt more alone.
I’m glad you messaged me. I’m sorry I didn’t do it first. He wondered if he should add the next piece. Was it wrong? Should he leave it at that. The stabbing pain in his chest returned and he wanted to be brave for you. Just for the chance, you could shoot him down but he’d know that he’d tried. I’ve been going to a new coffee place downtown. Northside CoffeeHouse. I think you’d like it. They make the cinnamon rolls just the way you like.
Josh swallowed hard and sent the email before he could think too hard about it. He hoped he wasn’t being presumptuous that you would remember his routine. Coffee out on weekends usually between 9 and 10.
You read over the email that came through from Josh a few times. His mention of loneliness made your heart sink, you hated to think of Josh carrying a pain like yours. The thought kind of hurt more than your own heartbreak.
You knew what he was saying with his mention of the coffeeshop. Tomorrow he’d probably be there if you went when he used to. Josh was secretly a creature of habit despite advocating for chaos most of the time.
Josh arrived at Northside at 9 am sharp, just in case you came on the early side. He patiently waited in the line for coffee and took a seat by the window. He checked his phone every few minutes, confused why time suddenly moved so slow.
He remembered the first coffee date you had gone on with him. You both had been late so he should’ve known then that you were the one for him. He showed up twenty minutes late (ten by accident and then an extra ten getting apology flowers) and you ran in five minutes later, out of breath, apologizing that you were so late. Josh was overjoyed to tell you he’d also been late and was so extremely worried about you not being there when he’d arrive. He picked up the flowers on the table and handed them to you, shyly explaining he’d gotten extra late grabbing these and you’d laughed, glancing between the plants and the strangely bashful guy in front of you. You’d been hooked ever since.
You had been introduced to Josh when you had gotten invited to tagalong with a work friend to a VIP section of a concert series in Nashville. Josh and his brothers had been there and somehow your friend had run into them a few times at stuff like this. You hadn’t initially realized Josh was hitting on you as you talked the evening away with him about all things music and your very different jobs so you were surprised when he asked you out on the coffee date, but you hadn’t declined. Afterall, he was Josh.
The rest, as they say, is history. Much to your chagrin. You replayed that first date over and over as you paced up and down the cross street for the coffee shop you assumed Josh was now waiting for you at.
With a single white Peruvian lily clutched in your hand, you finally turned the corner and marched yourself into the coffee shop. You didn’t look in the windows, you were too focused on getting yourself through the door so you had to look around the room for Josh after entering. Your hand was holding so tightly to the flower’s stem you worried you’d break it if you didn’t set it down soon.
His back was facing you, he’d been looking down the other side of the street and had no idea you’d entered as he was beginning to resign himself to the fact that maybe you didn’t want to see him. It was almost 10 am when you arrived.
“Josh,” you sigh, hand touching his shoulder as you turn to face them.
He looks up and the smile on his face almost brings tears to your eyes. It’s the one you’ve missed so much. You can’t help the frown that it brings to your face as you will away the tears.
“Hey, hey, don’t cry,” Josh says, standing to hug you because he knew your facial expressions by heart too.
You laugh and the stem in your hand finally snaps at his touch. It’s too much. Josh pulls back and looks down at your hand and laughs for a different reason. He motions to the table and your eyes sweep the two empty coffee cups he must have drank waiting for you, his phone and a bouquet of the very same flower, just like the ones he’d given you three and a half years ago.
“Can I go order you something?” Josh asks softly. “I didn’t want to order the cinnamon roll until you got here. I wanted it to still be warm.”
You bite your lip. He was still so sweet and thoughtful. You laugh again and nod your head. He knew you needed a moment to ground yourself so he let you have some time to yourself. He walked to the counter and ordered what you always got and a cinnamon roll to share.
You placed your broken flower with his bouquet, your hands ran gently over the pearly petals, careful not to cause any dents or creases. After studying them, you feel a little less overwhelmed and you lift your head to watch Josh. He’s paying with cash and you’re endeared how he still clumsily handles the coins despite how often he likes to pay with physical money.
He thanks the barista who was now very accustomed to Josh, considering it was his third time up at the counter in the last hour. You smile sheepishly at Josh as he smooths his palms down his khakis, coming back to you.
Your conversation is stilted while he waits for his name to be called. He doesn’t want to get into the nitty gritty when he knows there’s an impending interupter. You thank him for the flowers and apologize for your broken attempt.
He smiles down at the baker's dozen of flowers. “I like it. Here.” His fingers delicately move the broken pieces back into place and then moves your single flower into the center of the bouquet. “It’s all patched up now.”
You smile and meet his eyes, knowing the Josh metaphor he was trying to obviously make. His name is called saving you from saying more on the subject for the moment. He hands you your drink and places one fork facing you and one facing him on the edge of the cinnamon roll’s box. You thank him again and he hushes you, saying you didn’t need to keep thanking him.
You quiet as you try the treat. Josh watches your reaction with barely contained glee, knowing you’d loved it. You had missed this feeling. This feeling of someone knowing you so well. How Josh took care of you and how, in return, you took care of him. You grinned, reassuring him that yes it was great.
You quiet down again about the food. Josh and you smile at one another and it feels like nothing has changed. You want to believe it.
“Mornings are meant to be spent with you,” Josh blurts out, nerves obvious in his voice. “Soft rock music playing while I bestow a thousand kisses across your body.”
“There’s the Josh I know,” you tease but you’re beaming at him.
Flashes of the mornings he was referencing came to mind.
Josh curled around you or you curled around Josh, Velvet Underground and Grateful Dead records on. Sunlight filtering across the floral sheets you’d bought for him as a welcome back from tour present after Dreams in Gold. Smooth skin against skin as Josh presses kisses to your forehead and yours against his sternum. He’s laughing when you tickle him and you laugh too, happy to be keeping up with him. Just like you used to.
-
lmk what you think!
taglist: @ofthecaravel @malany-gvf @whiterosekiszka @jaketlove @sinarainbows @gretavanfreaky
Everyone is so focused on "where there is love we must live on" that they forget "where there is not we must provide it"
care
pairing: husband!josh x wife!reader | word count: 1k | warnings: none, just fluff
summary: after a long day, josh helps you relax
author's note: i've been really in the mood to write lately, so i hope you all enjoy this! i had fun writing it! also, this piece wasn't necessarily inspired by these arms of mine by otis reading, but i did listen to it a lot while i wrote this, so i guess i recommend listening to that while you read this. also i didn't edit this one as much as i've edited my other fics/blurbs so sorry in advance.
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You practically fell through the door as you walked into your home, feet dragging across the floor, aching with every step. As you reached the dining room you placed your bag onto the table and plopped down onto the closest chair. You placed your feet on the seat across from yours and kicked off your shoes before letting out a long sigh of relief, happy to be back at home. Your eyes fluttered closed as your head tilted back, and you were sure that if you stayed like this for much longer, you’d fall asleep, which wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen.
Before you could drift off, however, you heard quiet footsteps coming from the hallway. After a few seconds, your eyes slowly opened, and a moment later you were greeted by the sight of your husband. His eyes were bright, and his smile was wide as he walked towards you.
“Well, hello there, Mrs. Kiszka,” he greeted, leaning down to meet your lips in a quick kiss. “I almost didn’t hear you come in.”
“That’s because I’m so naturally stealthy, Mr. Kiszka. Quiet as a church mouse,” you replied with a soft smile.
A soft wave of giggles tumbled from his lips as he looked down at you. He raised his hand to your forehead, gently pushing your hair back before asking, “How was your day, honey?” You let out an exaggerated groan and rolled your eyes, earning a bubble of laughter from Josh. “That bad?” he asked with a slight grimace.
You glanced up at him, “Worse, believe it or not.”
His face grew apologetic as he pulled you into his embrace. “I’m so sorry, honey. How about you let me take care of you this evening, huh?”
“Okay,” you answered without a moment’s hesitation. After the day you’d had, you weren’t about to object to an evening of Josh pampering you.
A content smile spread across his features. “Good,” he replied, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before slowly pulling back, allowing your eyes to meet. He placed your hands in his. “How does a nice, hot bath sound? I can run you one.”
You were surprised you didn’t audibly moan at the thought of a bath as you replied, “Oh, Joshy, that’d be lovely. Thank you so much.”
“No need to thank me, honey,” he beamed, “Just taking care of my special gal.” He grinned like an overeager child as he helped you up from your seat and began guiding you to the bathroom.
Once you entered the room, Josh started running your bath water, checking to make sure the temperature was just right. Once he was satisfied, he turned to the door, though not before assuring you he’d be right back. He returned a few moments later with your favorite pajamas and a pair of slippers, which he carefully set on the counter. You could practically feel your heart swell.
“This is all so sweet, Josh,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, “You really don’t have to go through all this trouble. I could have gotten my own pajamas, at least.”
Your husband shakes his head. “No, honey,” he replied, “I want to do this. You’ve had a rough day, and I want you to feel special.”
“Well, okay,” you answered with a sheepish grin, “If you really want to.”
“I swear I do,” he promised, “I’m gonna go cook us dinner while you relax, okay? I’ll let you know when it’s done.”
You give a small hum and nod in response before slowly getting undressed and climbing into the tub. The water touches your skin and instantly relaxes you, almost like magic. You let out a sigh as you fully lower yourself into the water and close your eyes. You stay that way for you don’t even know how long until you decide to get out and change into your pajamas. Josh hadn’t come to tell you that dinner was finished yet, so you figured you’d get dressed and meet him in the kitchen.
A few minutes later, you did just that. A gentle sigh left your lips as you smelled the food Josh was stirring away at on the stove. The sound caused him to turn towards you, taking a moment to examine your blissful state before saying “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. The food’s not quite ready yet. Just give me a few more minutes.”
You gently shook your head as you sat at the small kitchen table. “That’s alright, baby,” you replied in a soft voice, “You need any help? I can set out some dishes.”
“No, I got it, honey,” he answered, “Thank you though. I appreciate it.”
You gave him a soft smile in return. “Alright, Joshy.”
He returned your smile and turned back to the stove. The room was filled with the sound of Josh’s soft singing as he stirred the food and did the occasional taste test. You loved to hear his voice and see what songs were playing in his mind. Your particular favorite tonight was when he sang “The Lovely Linda” and changed the lyrics to have your name in them. It made you erupt into a small fit of giggles and caused Josh’s cheeks to turn just a little pink.
After dinner, you helped Josh load the dishwasher despite his multiple protests (“But you’re supposed to relax!”) and got ready for bed. Your husband wasn’t far behind, his hands finding your waist and pulling you in close as he climbed into your shared bed. He pressed a kiss to your temple and asked, “How are you feeling, Mrs. Kiszka?”
You smiled and turned to face him, “Like the luckiest girl in the world, Mr. Kiszka.”
“I’m glad,” he replied, kissing your forehead, “Wanna watch a movie or something?”
You shook your head. “No,” you answered with a yawn, “I’m too tired. You can put on something if you want though.”
“That’s alright,” he responded, “Let’s just go to bed.”
“Okay,” you mumbled, “G’night, Joshy. I love you.”
A small chuckle escaped his lips, “Goodnight, honey. I love you, too.”
You replied in a low hum and soon drifted to sleep, happy in the arms of the man you loved.
taglist: @westernwoods @sunfl0wer-power (if anyone else wants to be tagged in future stuff, let me know!)
Fun fact about me is that when I first discovered GVF and looked at their Spotify banner (I think this is the photo) I thought, “Wow look at those three really hot lesbians and one man with a mustache.” I really thought Danny, Sam, and Jake were really hot androgynous women.
