Layla 6x08 - my reaction
I am so happy to see Layla in therapy, and appreciative that she got such consideration in an episode about Billy giving letters to the other kids.
I love that we’re asking questions! I love questioning what we watch, dissecting it, I love exploring character dynamics and relationships, and we have so many in this show. I love talking about my favourite couple clearly, so I love them talking about it too. We missed some conversations surrounding their engagement given it was a surprise proposal and then there was a time-jump to them just getting on with it, I'm pleased to address it now. I mentioned this in my 5x20 posts that I wanted to hear from them about their engagement, and honestly a lot of the doubts I had back then have kind of been relinquished now.
“Why did you propose to me?” So earnest, so vulnerable. Layla is trying to make sense of everything and she’s building ground up. “Do you love me more than you loved her [...]” We know so much about how Layla struggles to put her trust in others and accept their love and she did watch Jordan be in love and fail at marriage once on top of all the other relationships they've seen and been in, she needs to KNOW why this will be different (I asked for exactly this!). Not just want it to be, think it will be, but KNOW it will be successful. The whole conversation, Jordan was so tense and scared of what she might say, he’s scared by her questions because the answers, “Because I love you, obviously” “Layla I fell in love with YOU”, are very obvious and clear to him, but not to her. Depression can cloud your perspective and thinking. Asking the questions is so active, not passive, not avoidant, just such an effort on her part and so much progress in my opinion.
We’re REALLY sitting right up in there with her in this therapy session, exploring her struggles thoroughly and step by step. We’re not getting a snippet or a reference to it, we’re getting all of it, what a privilege. She’s so vulnerable in this space. Layla goes around as this mini grown-up, running businesses and handling herself, but it’s not true. She really is just that little girl, this flashback brought back that depth to her. A scene of her discussing her mum in therapy? Come on. SOO head-on, SOO true, so so honest and deep and so fucking good. What we’re learning about Layla, it’s new and different but all makes sense and adds to her and reveals what she carries at all times. She lost her mum, but she inherited her depression, and that journey unfolded after her death so only had memories to reconcile it all with. “What if I don't want to remember?” She is stripping all defences. As for the memory itself…
TRUE CINEMA!!!!!!!!!!!! BEST SCENE EVER ???! SO GOOD SO DEEP and genuinely so profound. I was holding my breath throughout the scene, the way Greta portrayed the aching sadness was phenomenal. I saw Jordan and thought it was just a parallel to their present. When the camera pans to Layla, I’ll actually never forget it, I jumped. In this one scene, we’re seeing Layla past AND future. We’re seeing her true memory AND her own fears. She is present in the one scene in TWO pov’s, she is the baby girl AND she is the mother. A masterpiece. How much is she in control right now? Is she able to manipulate the memory at all? How much is Layla and how much is Monica? How she breaks when she says “Not for her…” makes me question. Before she even understood what depression means, Layla has felt like she couldn’t keep her mum alive, and has carried that all this time. The dad says “Layla needs you.” Yes childhood Layla needed her mum, current Layla needs future Layla to show she can get up, future Layla’s daughter needs her, current Layla still needs her mum! It’s grief and anxiety and so many other things. I am just in shock watching this, I never expected them to reach so deep inside of her, she's baring her whole soul to us! And obviously I’m giggling a bit at seeing Jordayla with a daughter hehe. Truly a standout scene to me, the best I can recall seasons and seasons.
She has clarity, she has selfdom and reflections and convictions; you look at me like that, you are not my dad. The convictions are real; you’ve seen all of me, we’ll be okay, I’m not my mum. She knows, I don’t want to be like my parents, I want to marry you, I need time. She has asked all the questions and done the digging and building and they have led her back, to here, to Jordan. Such clear communication in so many words, not only apologies and reassurances but laid out feelings and thoughts! I've been looking forward to this.
The way Jordan says “I sprung the proposal on you” is unshakeable. He’d take back the happiest moment of his life to save her any pain. “The thought of marrying me made you (that) unhappy?”, “You don't want to marry me.” Him saying the hard words, it’s part of the out. He’s letting her off from having to say it. He’ll even break his heart himself to spare her that much! A minute ago he was joking about should he be worried that she has all those breakup phrases, and a minute later he is in all seriousness offering to break their engagement, for her. He'll give her any length of time, he’ll let her go entirely.
The episode has left me feeling a little insane. Time to digest it a bit more slowly and I’ll probably be back with more to say haha.
