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Natalie Imbruglia's natalist imbroglio

was talking to someone i know about how she hates to think a kitchen might have poor standards and stops going to restaurants she knows or has heard are dodgy and i was like i think i had a similar experience and took the opposite stance. like i worked with someone once who told me he worked at Waffle House but he would not eat there, because of his experiences. and he told me some of his experiences, and i thought, gosh, that's bad. however, at the point i heard that, i'd probably already eaten at Waffle House 60+ times in my life to limited unexpected negative effect. i'm not going to stop eating at Waffle House. i simply have to accept the risk. every time i get in a car and go on the interstate it's like playing Russian roulette depending on the safety of other drivers. why should a restaurant or any experience whatsoever have any less inherent risk

i put some stank on it bc i figured it'd be a no but this got a response and full refund in five minutes

boyfriends love it when you burst into tears because you can't put into words what you want because you're not allowing yourself to think it

here's a phrase my friends and i riffed a number of years ago that i still think fairly regularly to no one's benefit

[context is a wrestling ad, fuller context is we were imagining Elton John's final concert tour as a Wrestlemania type event where Elton fights worse and worse enemies, vanquishing them all. after Elton decimates a super buff opponent, an average-looking Jared Fogle walks out in shackles/prison jumpsuit]

ANNOUNCER: Jared's back.. and he's pissed.

if your blog doesn't have a website and just always directs to the tumblr.com/[name] dash representation of your website, (hehe, what would be a funny hyperbolic thing to say 'i dont like dis') you are hiding something abhorrent in your character and i will kill both of us learning what it is

you used to be able to deliberately overdraft your account at the atm if you knew the check was hitting early that next morning. it was allowed. some even say it gave one the rarefied air of a genius just for realizing it was possible. now, all one imagining it can receive is punishment. but it used to be possible.

watching pannenkoek2012 video but also i’m sad

I’m a cloned item.. I too occupy a vacant object slot.. i was never meant to be held

i don’t want to watch Severance bc I saw a clip where the guy says “devour feculence” and the other guy is like “wha- huh” and first guy repeats it and explains “it means, eat shit”. Okay. I am 32 years old. If there was a smart word for ‘shit’ I know I already would know it. “Devour feculence” sounds stupid and is stupid, like a stupid person trying to sound smart and failing. I would accept it as a character choice if the character upon watching reveals himself to be someone who speaks exclusively using rare forms of words not commonly used past the 18th century or something but I don’t think that is what is happening here. It’s clearly meant to be some kind of mic drop and it just sucks. Sorry to those who perhaps use the word feculence hundreds of times a year, unfortunately I am completely unconvinced of your existence

Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, ooh shit! Clarence Carter

trash did not get taken out and i woke from a nap to hear the garbage truck passing. i saw them start to go down the street and decided i could catch up so i dragged the rolling trash can from the driverside window of my car and drove up on them and explained and one trashman said, ok, so put your car in park. i did. then he said we got you but the late fee is 20 pushups and he got on the ground so i did too and we counted out 20 pushups, dapped up and went our separate ways. real human connection. this is a community

my total favorite rateyourmusic person is the prog rock guy (i am also a prog rock guy so i see his reviews everywhere) whose personal rating system is just so particular that he regularly unironically will say some stuff like "Very good in parts, some tracks fantastic and I love the structures. I think this is a lot like some other stuff I like, I will definitely listen to this again. 2.3 stars"

i can't believe there's a whole place in London called Camed-In-Town.. just for all the people who've been camed in

2026 the gloves are off. its time to express the real opinions. here goes. Life the Universe and Everything is the best Hitchhiker's Guide book because it was the first one written as a book first (prior two being adaptations from radio) and contains the best idea in all of Hitchhiker's Guide which is Agrajag. I am the kind of person who would be upset if they attempted to adapt the books into another medium again and they messed up Agrajag. I think about Agrajag at least once every few weeks. such a funny good idea.

one time i was hangin w my best buds and i was like you ever have that feeling where maybe you’re too drunk, maybe you’re sober, but you have a glass of cold water and you just start to drink but then you stop to be deliberate and then you’re just holding this tilted cup of cold water and it’s filled your mouth cavity as much as it will but you’re not swallowing it yet and you’re just absorbing the moment where you have water in your mouth and it is still apart of the extremely small body of water in the cup bc you haven’t separated it yet? and one of my best buds happily told me, dude, I’m sorry, but that is one of the most unrelatable things i have ever heard someone describe. and everyone agreed they had never once experienced this.

when my problem tooth hurts i have this thrilling vision of (don't worry, no violence) a razor blade dividing it from the other teeth, a flat solid floss, not touching the gums, no blood, just rotating it slightly and the tooth just fucking pops out. and in the same gesture you can chop that tooth up now for tooth cocaine. but we can't do it, cuz the tooth was dying. this cocaine would actually be bad for us

Destiny is beautiful.. Inside each delicious iced latte is a future plastic cup of milky ice just waiting to be thrown away. Let it become itself

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