I love you, Grazey baby :*
I love you too. Like, totally more than is healthy and shit. And I miss you. I need to see your face and touch you and feel you. I need to know you're totally and completely alive. Please.
trying on a metaphor
we're not kids anymore.
h
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@grey-wondering
I love you, Grazey baby :*
I love you too. Like, totally more than is healthy and shit. And I miss you. I need to see your face and touch you and feel you. I need to know you're totally and completely alive. Please.
Holy fucking shit, I don’t even know what to say. That is nothing short of fucking traumatizing and… -shivers- It’s fucked up. Why did they let you see the people? That seems unnecessarily cruel.
-blinks at him a few times- Well, once we get you checked out, we’re going to experiment.
They didn't know I knew any of them. They just... I think they thought it was, like, a kindness. Showing me you weren't actually dead. I mean, if they hadn't I would have been, like, way worse, you know? Besides, it's not like they really fucking cared. *Hugs her tightly again, taking another deep breath* Don't die anymore, okay?
*Nods, trying for another smile* I do wanna play with it with someone who isn't a fuckjob.
-goes still, stopping in the yard and just looking at him for long moments, trying to comprehend fully. Finally presses a long kiss to his lips, unthinking, just a mindless comforting gesture- I’m sorry, Grey, I didn’t know they would do something like that.
-turns to look over his wrists and is reaching to touch a wound when the smoke moves across her face and she steps back, eyes wide- What the fuck is that?
*Closes his eyes tightly, pressing back into the kiss, though he doesn't try to make it anything more than what it is, a comforting, platonic gesture.* I didn't know they could. I thought you were dead. I couldn't fucking tell who was real, I couldn't- Ever and you and Kent and my grandparents. But they weren't, like, just illusions, even. When it was over, they were real people. They were, like, the homeless people and the people on the streets, people I know. There's a grave somewhere for people who fucking died because of me.
*Smiles very slightly* That would be adderall. I can do pretty much all of the stuff I have.
-looks at him curiously as he does her and struggles to keep her mouth shut as he rambles and stammers. Squeezes him to her again, brow furrowing- And how did they do that?
Of course I won’t leave you. -turns him by the shoulders, wrapping an arm around them and walking toward the house- Tell me what you can do now, though.
*Opens his mouth and then stops, face falling slowly like he's just broken all over again. He puts his hands on her face again, looking her over* Had to make me, like, angry, I guess. Really angry. *Takes a shaky breath and presses his forehead to hers. Figured out how to turn people into body doubles. I thought most of this blood was yours...
*Looks his wrists over* I'm fucked, aren't I? Do I look fucked? Oh. Uhm... *Shifts away a little and nudges her so she'll look at him, then blows a long puff of smoke out*
-looks at him like he’s brain damaged and catches his hand, pulling him against her- Broke your wrist. Duh.
What happened to you? What the fuck did they do to you and for fuck’s sake tell me what to do now.
*Snatches her up in a hug, burying his face in her hair and taking a deep breath, then puts a hand on either side of her face, looking her over to make sure she's okay.* It's fine, I'm totally fine. Well, like, mostly fine. They just- God, okay, Shut up for a sec. *Hugs her again tightly, kissing her cheek* Fuck. Shit. Okay. They- I guess they expanded on my power again. *Takes a deep breath* Forced me to learn some control too.
Yeah, take me to Lysander, I guess. Just don't leave me.
-rushes down from the front steps- What the fucking fuck?! What- Where- Take you to Lysander?!
*Stops moving, staring at her like she's a ghost. He reaches out a hand, touches her face. When he speaks, his voice is rough and dry like he's spent too much time screaming* When we took X, what did you do to me on accident?
*Steps out of the black SUV, still covered in blood and bruises and heads toward the doorway, looking strung out and hollow*
"Everything one does in life, even love, occurs in an express train racing toward death. To smoke opium is to get out of the train while it is still moving. It is to concern oneself with something other than life or death."
--Jean Cocteau
Voluntary Confinement || Grey Self Para
Bloodwork first, poking and pricking with needles and taking vitals. He studied the woman beside him as he sat in the chair, a sick feeling of dread settling in the pit of his stomach. The room looked similar to the one he'd had in Russia, with nothing he didn't need. There was a small bed, a small table, and two chairs. One door was the only entrance or exit and the door seemed to be simple with not even a lock. Either there was more to it or they were confident he wasn't going anywhere.
When she finished, the woman didn't say anything, she just got up and left. There was nothing, only silence echoing through the room, for ten minutes.
The person who returned was a man, coming into the room and taking the other chair again. "Greyson, I know you don't want to be here, but it's really for your own and everyone's good that you learn some new things."
There was a long moment of silence as Grey stared at him, verging on a glare.
Finally, the man said, "You just need to get some control, expand one what you can do with what you already have. I see your repertoire is fairly extensive." Taking out a piece of paper, he flipped through it and began reading. "Rohypnol, morphine, methamphetamines, ketamine, clopazine..." He looked up again, seeming to be waiting for a reaction. When he got nothing he sighed and stood up, gesturing for Grey to sit right in the chair.
Nothing happened for a long moment until the man took Grey's wrists and moved them to the chair's arms. From his pocket, he pulled two pieces of fabric. They wrapped easily around Grey's wrists and the arms of the chair, then solidified like rings of solid metal and he was trapped. "Just do your best, Greyson," the man said, then patted him on the shoulder and left the room again.
It was another fifteen minutes in seclusion before Vivian walked in and Grey sat up immediately. His mouth was open to say something, but the next moment, the woman who'd done his blood work came in and put a gun to Vivian's head, pulled the trigger, and splattered the blood all over him.
With a scream, he fought against the bonds on his wrists. Shouting obscenities, screaming of the betrayal, that he was here, doing what they asked, he jerked and tore at the cuffs strapping him to the chair.
With more audacity than stars in the sky, the woman sat in the chair beside him, just out of reach of Grey's touch, and started to clean the gun. "You could kill me if you really wanted, you know," she said softly. "You just aren't trying hard enough."
"I am doing what you say, I'm here, I came here, I came back." He pointed an accusing finger to the body. "What the fuck is this?"
The woman shrugged a bit, tugging on a pair of long gloves and then pulling on a jacket to cover them. From her pocket, she pulled a handkerchief and moved closer, cleaning the blood from Grey's face carefully. "If you don't do something, I'll bring in the lovely little Korean couple you like so much.," she said softly.
Another scream of rage was Grey's only reply and when his face was clean, she sighed and stood up. When the small, elderly woman was led in, he screamed again, filled with fury and pain. Tears sprang to his eyes, blood smearing from under the cuffs where he tore at his own skin. Again, blood splattered across his face and again, the woman taunted him while she cleaned her gun and then his face. Next, a small elderly man was led in and Grey's voice gave out as he screamed at him in Korean to run.
With the three bodies on the floor, piled together unceremoniously, he fell back in his chair. Rage was flooding him, the desire to pump her full of anything, everything, put her into a coma and then pull her out of it just to put her back under again, cause her the pain of every drop of blood on the floor.
Her gloved hand tipped his face up, wiping at the blood and the tears and the sweat for fighting. "You think we should keep going up? I know we started at such a high note, but I'm not sure if we can keep it up. There's only Mr. DuPont left, isn't there? Of those people you really hold dear? We could move on to that normal you're fond of. He's not useful in any way to us."
Fury washed through him, sorrow and pain and the desire to hurt. Fire burned in his lungs and he let out a breath, smoke billowing from his lips, up into the woman's face. She blinked, looking hazy for a moment, but he took another breath and blew again, smoke going into her face and her pupils dilated and she stumbled back, then tripped on Vivian's wrist and fell backwards, unconscious.
The door opened again and Grey looked up with a glare, huffing out a deep breath through his nose and letting smoke puff from his nostrils. He wasn't sure when that had come about, what he was doing, but if it was ranged they wanted, he would fill the room with clopazine until every person who walked in breathed the stuff and fell to the floor.
"Very good, Greyson," the man who had spoke to him before said mildly, a small smile on his face. A pair of men came in, both of them with cloths over their mouths and carted out the woman carefully as the man came to sit beside Grey. "Oh calm down," he said with a short laugh when every breath out of the boy was a puff of smoke, surrounding him in a cloud of haze.
"Why," he growled, too angry to tilt the word into a question. "I came back, I brought Kent back, I came where you wanted me to be. Why did you hurt them?"
The small smile brightened on the man's face and he walked over to the bodies, nudging the top one, Grey's grandfather, with his foot. "Look again. The transformation should fade any- Ah. There it goes."
There was a sickening twist in Grey's stomach and the face morphed into something he didn't recognize. An old homeless man from the streets. Tears sprung back into his eyes. "His name was Darryl," he mumbled, struggling again. "You made me- They're-"
The man bent and grabbed the half-destroyed head of the body that had been Grey's grandmother. Emma. Another homeless woman. Grey's eyes fell to the face that had been Vivian's. He'd seen the girl in the streets on his wanderings, but he didn't know her name. Her blood was still on his clothes.
"Not even your friends. I see you know them, though." The door opened again and the two men came back, picking the bodies up haphazardly and carting them away. The man stepped over the puddle of blood and sat beside Grey. "We'll do another test tomorrow and the next day. You responded faster than expected. For the rest of the time you're here, you'll be working on control. Making different things in smoke, which isn't what we expected, really." He puffed out, blowing smoke away from his face. "And we'll be bringing people in to make sure you can... maintain control under the right circumstances."
Grey narrowed his eyes, about to ask what the right circumstances were, but the man stood and a needle hit his neck. he thrashed again for a moment, then went limp.
The next few days were a parade of either the man or the woman, neither of whom he learned the names of, coming in and provoking him into using his power, people coming in and beating or threatening him while they lashed his bare hands to the arm of some sedated person he could no longer be sure wasn't Kent or Ever or Vivian. When no one was there with him, there was a device used to cut off his power and without sleep aid, he lay awake, trapped in his head, wondering at the names of people who had died to expand his power or force him to control it.
When he was released, Grey was bruised and battered, riddles with black and blue and dark, dried red. His hair was a royal mess, his wrists covered in cuts and tears, his arms and neck in trackmarks. But his power was expanded, and that was good enough for everyone else.
Back Home || B.G.
-eyes shut and his hips work beneath him- Interesting, but not excusable. That is, well, that’s unfortunate. -hums, leaning up against the kiss and his hands relax to run down his back again, now coming to grip his ass- Consider it tabled.
*Rolls his hips against Kent, pressing back into his hands and licking into the kiss* Good. Thank you. *slips a hand under the fabric of his shirt and along his chest* I just want you right now.
Back Home || B.G.
-groans deep in his throat and pulls gently at the roots of Grey’s hair, rubs fingertips against his scalp- And how does she ever grow up? If she’s protected from every little bump in the road? She shouldn’t stay a child forever just because people are overprotective. That’s not fair.
*Sucks harder, pulling a long line of marks along his skin and then licking back across it* I don't know, man. She's hope, which, for some reason, kept her from, like, learning her lesson. At least, that's what I was told. But I know that I had to stop her from getting into a white van, so.. *Huffs and kisses him again* I don't want to talk about her right now, baby.
Back Home || B.G.
So, maybe I’m right. -hands move up his back to his neck as he tilts his own back- I will take full credit for that one, absolutely.
Mhm. And you get to make that decision for them. Because you’re wonder and the only one that can make them, right?
You're not. Not about this one. *Sucks and kisses, leaving marks that fade slowly on his skin.
Melissa is totally a child in, like, a lot of ways. She talked me into shooting her full of clopazine on my first day here and I almost killed her. Four people jumped at me and that's how I got the rule of, like, not fucking giving anyone anything. No, I'm not the only one, but I know people that would fuck you up in a heartbeat for them.
Back Home || B.G.
Yea, so- -frowns up at him- You don’t trust my judgment anymore, Grazey? -bounces him a third time- You’re being awfully demanding these days, I’m not sure if I like it or love it.
Who shouldn’t I expose? I mean, we’re not talking about adolescents here.
*Laughs a bit* You know I do. *Nips at his throat, then kisses at it* You love it. It's totally your fault for always asking me what I want. I learned to fucking tell you.
I dunno. Some people just don't need to have that kind of stuff. Like Melissa Gentle, you know?
Back Home || B.G.
-sucks Grey’s bottom lip between his own for a moment and hums against it, bucking his hips again- I think looking forward to you coming back would be enough, wouldn’t it? I know it would be for me. I don’t see how that’s a ‘duh’ decision. We should put more thought into it than that.
Well, at least then it’s their choice, right? Have all the options laid out before they decide. Wouldn’t you rather have a choice about everything?
*Lets out a soft sound, stroking a hand down his chest* It will be for me too and we both totally know it. *Grinds down against him* No. That's for when you do what I ask. But you can still have sex now, since I want that before I have to be gone.
I'm not everyone. I'm wonder. That's not, like, the same for everyone, you know?
Back Home || B.G.
Pretty much, yea. Trust no one sort of environment. -eyes raise and he lifts Grey with his hips a few times- I think there was, yea. I get that in advance or at completion of services rendered? -furrows his brow, head tilting a bit- Is it really? Think about it. All I offer is knowledge and experience; an idea as old as time.
*Licks up the shell of his ear, then moves his lips back to Kent's, tightening the hand* Completion. Duh. Plus, something to look forward to when I get back. *Sighs* Yeah, but not everyone wants that knowledge or experience. Not everyone is ready for it. You're not doing them favors, baby.
Back Home || B.G.
They don’t need you to. -bends his neck, kissing the others- With what? -scoffs- Of course it is. They don’t know what they’re missing.
Assholes. *Laughs softly, shifting to press kisses up his neck to his ear and nibble at it, one hand coming up to wrap snugly around his throat* Wasn't there, like, a thing you wanted to try? *Shakes his head* You thought process is so out there.
Back Home || B.G.
Then they’ve found some way to boost you. -slides hands up and down his sides, legs spreading for him to settle between- All that stuff sounds like helpful, do-gooder shit; not likely to make me feel better.
And I don't know what that's gonna be. *Laces their fingers, nudging against his cheek with his nose* Telling Devonte helps me and if you do that, I'll reward you when I get out. Sullying the innocent is totally not do-gooder shit.