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@gridlvd
* GRIDLVD highly selective , mutuals only , multi-muse rp blog featuring formula 1 muses , driven by grace *
* A STUDY IN : what is takes to be champion of the world , achieving your dreams , the fear of failure , driving fast cars , devotion to a team , tearing yourself apart , allowing yourself to heal , proving the world wrong && the colour BLUE
* THE GRID - LN4SH / RECORDS0N ;; MALKA-LISITSA
“ what do you think you’re doing ,” he grunts, the hand moving from james’ hair to swat at his hand on his cock . “ a good little whores don’t touch themselves without permission .”
he’s being cruel , a sort of villian energy coursing through his veins , but if noah is going to call him heartless and evil then what’s holding him back from behaving in such a way .
lawrence doesn’t want to examine everything that’s going on inside of him right now, how he’s fallen so far from the person he thought he was , so far from the person his fans think he is. he’s supposed to be a good person, a good man, a respectable man , but he couldn’t be further from that right now.
“ you’re going to take what i give you and nothing more.”
a pathetic whimper slipped from james' lips as his hand was batted away from himself, but he obediently didn't try to put it back in place, leaving it to rest on the bed beneath him. he wanted to be good for lawrence, in fact, it was more than being good, james earnestly wanted to be the best, to be something lawrence would want to hold onto, something he would never want to let go of. teammates until he retired, along with something more.
❛ sorry- i won't do it again, i'll be good for you, ❜ james whined back in response, trying to rock his hips back against lawrence in the hope that it would make him feel good. it didn't matter if he came, there would be other times, he could deal with that later, but he definitely didn't want to ruin the moment by doing something that would pull lawrence out of the moment, so he just responded keenly to him, allowing him to do what he wanted to his body.
andres knows everything about james, he was the first person to learn that james is gay , the first person to know who he was currently sleeping with, the first person to know when he signed a formula one contract . there’s not a single aspect of james’ life that andres wasn’t aware of , but there’s plently of andres’ life that james doesn’t know. it’s not because andres doesn’t want to share with everything with james , it’s because he’s desperate to not ruin anything between them .
he has been in love with his best friend since he can remember. when they were little and in karting, he thought it was normal, but as they’ve gotten older and developled other friendships, andres hasn’t felt the same about them as he does james. sure, he loves lukas and oliver, but it’s not on the same level of his feelings for james .
when andres had first heard about james sleeping with lawrence , it felt like his entire world had imploded . he knew how james felt about him so apart of him is happy for his best friend, but andres is also aware that this wasn’t going to end well. the rumors around the paddock about lawrence and noah aren’t a secret and andres wants to protect james at all costs - not that he shared any of these worries with him . he knows it wouldn’t do any good.
“ james ,” he states , his heart breaking at the confession . “ i don’t think that’s what’s going on . why would he be thinking about something stressful while fucking you?”
god he wants to bleach his eyes at the mere thought of the two of them .
james paused at andres' question - but he wasn't too sure he'd like the answer if he thought too hard about it. it was a questionable denial that james had over the entire subject, because he wanted this to be his dream, he wanted this to be everything he'd hoped for, i mean, was it any different than how often he told himself it was FINE with him being the second driver, but only to lawrence. james song was never find with second best, he didn't structure his life so strictly to be second, he didn't stop eating things he enjoyed to be second, he did it all to be the best, and this didn't feel like best . . . it felt like second . . . in everything.
❛ i . . . don't know . . . ❜ james replied slowly, trying to push away the logical part of his mind, but it was already rattling him, the idea that he'd been so stupidly blind, that he was to all effect being used as some kind of fuckable replacement for noah. wearing the same suit, on the other side of the garage. exactly where he had once been. blinking furiously he could feel the sting already in his eyes. ❛ lawrence isn't like that, he's a good teammate, he wouldn't . . . ❜ somewhere in the words his voice cracked, but he refused to break down, he fought to mask it, because how many times had he been called emotional - just another thing that his team principal used as a comparison to noah that made his insides a little more sick. ❛ they hate each other, it was just a mistake! ❜
george russell in the garage on race day, miami - may 3, 2026 📷 brett farmer / getty
andres was his best friend - it had been that way as long as james could really remember, the times before that where he looked up to the other a very distant memory compared to the many sleepovers he had at andres' home. the karting trips that saw them sharing a bed . . . and catching infections together. but as his best friend, it meant that james didn't keep anything from the other, even his best kept secret as to his sexuality, and then the fact that he was currently sleeping with his teammate who james swore was his awakening, who james hadn't stopped yapping about for years, and who james was clearly gone for, even blinded to the faults in it all.
this time they met up though james didn't seem quite as bright, if anything he was wearing a face that showed some confusion that showed in the furrow of his brow, needing to unload onto his best friend to maybe clear it away. ❛ . . . he called me noah, i mean, that could mean nothing, i know he's been stressed and maybe stress just presents itself as noah right ?? ❜ james questioned, chewing the corner of his lip. for someone usually so smart, when his heart went, the brains seemed to go straight out the window alongside it. ❛ plus no one knows they were actually a thing, and they hate each other . . . it was just a slip of the tongue, it can happen. ❜
lawrence knew it wasn’t fair to james, knew that he deserved so much better than to be a place holder for noah , but he still found himself in this position, thrusting in to him with a wild abandonment and not a care in the world if james was enjoying himself.
he knows that james is attractive , that they could have a real relationship if that’s what lawrence wanted, but he also knows that there’s no world where he could ever really want another man . sure - he’ll sleep with any man that crosses his path, but only one person could have his heart . only one person has the power to destory him.
and it’s not the person beneath him currently.
one of his hands moves to the back of james’ head, fingers threading through his short brown hair and pulling back, pure sadistic joy coursing through his blood at the curve of the other man’s neck . “ you’re such a fucking whore . letting your teammate fuck you like this .”
eyes leaking && lips plump, another sweet whine escaped him as his head was pulled back, practically folding him into place - and james would let him do anything he wanted, because to him this was everything, a desperation to please the driver he'd long looked up to. then the words came from lawrence, and they were almost sadisticaly spoken if james had the ears to hear it, but he was blinded to any truth that may had existed outside this moment because of his want for it be real, to be suited to his dreams of this moment.
❛ you can do anything you want to me - feels so good, ❜ james replied keenly, wet eyes glancing to his teammate giving another breathy moan seeing the sight of him as he was behind him. ❛ i'd be your whore if you wanted me to be. ❜ the slight reprieve of the bed rubbing against his cock had it twitching against his abdomen, a hand snaking down to grip it and stroke it lightly to not lose the sensation of thorough enjoyment for himself. he told himself he didn't mind if lawrence was a selfish lover, seeking his own pleasure before anything else, maybe some day in the future they could do this again differently ??
when. right after free practice 1. where. miami paddock , mercedes hospitality. featuring. james song , @gridlvd
miami is loud, has always been loud, and all the teams love to show off in that brash, all-american way, the brand of spectacle that the american grand prixs tend to do, and mathias has been here since wednesday and has spent most of that time in the mercedes garage with his headset on and his eyes on the timing screens which is, honestly, exactly where he wants to be. the thing about working on james' strategy is that it requires a specific compartmentalization that mathias has gotten good at: james over the radio is james-his-driver, which is a different thing entirely from james-who-grew-up-karting-on-the-same-circuits-as-him, james-who-he-watched-get-promoted, while matty got the quiet phone call that meant… something else. he doesn't think about that part anymore, mostly. he only thinks about it a normal amount.
he picks up his coffee and crosses the hospitality toward james and he is fine, he is genuinely fine, he is just also thinking about it, which is allowed. “ alright, ” he says, by way of greeting, pulling out the chair across from him, “ talk me through what you're feeling about sector two, because i have thoughts and some of them are going to require your cooperation. ”
sweat dripped down his face in a way that james utterly detested - call him typically british, but the hot weather and hotter track did not do him wonders, though it was something he'd become accustomed to, not that he had much choice given his career path {{ would he change it for anything in the world - absolutely not }} it was the one thing that stopped him moaning . . . at least for now. in fact he wouldn't be in the mood to moan at all if his car at all felt like it was under him, but it had been like a slip and slide, and slip and slide did not fill him with the confidence to really push like he wanted.
❛ i'm all ears - currently feels like i'm driving a bobsled down some ice, ❜ james replied the moment matty came over. ❛ i can't push like i want to, feel like one wrong move and i'll be saying hello to the wall or something. ❜ pushing his hair slick back across his head james sighed and took a heavy drink from the branded bottle at his side, away from the watchful gaze of the camera's his disappointment could be found clear as day, written in every line of his furrowed brow. he just wanted a break - he just wanted it all to come together like it did in those childhood dreams, but he forced himself to get out of his head, he could get all this out with the sports therapist once the weekend was over.
adding troy barrett to my muses quick style - yep he stole my heart
The person I reblogged this from is awesome as fuck.
IT'S ENDEARING, really. there's so many skaters now that have the same mindset, but none of them have captured his attention the way miras has. seeing the passion and joy the younger has for skating, it's something alexei knows all too well. he was that way once, when he first started. he did it because he loved it, he didn't care about the medals. but that first gold, god. the second that medal was around his neck, something shifted in his mind. the validation, the congratulations, his former coach saying he was proud. it meant everything to him, the high he rode lasted weeks. but then the perfectionism set in, the need for more attention settled in his brain. he wanted more, he still does. and truthfully, he hopes miras never feels that way.
❝ yes, i am meaning that. truthfully. the offer is always going to be open. ❞ A SMILE FORMS ON HIS FACE AS MIRAS ASKS FOR A PICTURE, his response being a gentle nod. most other skaters don't ask, it's very kind of the other to do even that. ❝ you do not need to be asking, is not as if you are a fan that would be needing permission. we are competitors, is perfectly acceptable for the two of us to be getting a photograph together for you to be remembering it. i have done the same thing before, with other skaters from back in russia. ❞
ALEXEI STEPS CLOSER, his voice still gentle. clearly this is a big deal to miras, something he understands. seeing a skater you admire and being starstruck that you're next to them, competing with them. he himself had been the same way with the skaters in russia. relatable, he thinks the word is.
the beam of miras' smile only seemed to brighten when alexei accepted his request, and to make him feel so normal for doing so. it pushed aside any of the prior nerves he may have felt, raising the phone high, settling an arm to wrap around his hero to collect the shot that he would undoubtedly look back on fondly for many years to come. he captured a few just to be sure, and then was quick to pull them up and hold the phone like it was the most precious thing in the universe before looking back to alexei again. ❛ Спасибо, огромное спасибо! [ thank you, thank you so much! ] ❜ miras was quick to state, lowering his head briefly for a moment in his gratitude, words spilling out before he could collect them and form them into english.
looking to alexei he took just a brief pause to enjoy the moment, even despite the noise of the world around them, it was so special to him, made him want to do one better in his next skate to honour the moment. one more step up, one more position gained, he could get his head down and do just that, and if he didn't manage next time . . . maybe the skate after that instead. ❛ i hope we get on podiums together, i would much like that, ❜ miras stated. it was an honest goal, it wasn't preaching about the top step, hell, he'd take a bronze and be up there with alexei undoubtedly in gold and it would be the most amazing feeling in the world, he was sure of it. ❛ you have to keep going so i can do that please! ❜
via
NEVER IN HIS LIFE DID ALEXEI THINK HE'D LATCH ONTO ANOTHER SKATER. but the first time he'd seen miras in competition, he knew the kid was something special, that this kid could be his successor when he inevitably has to retire. knowing that the other looked up to him as a hero, it made it even easier for alexei to sort of... mentor him. not like a coach, really. the way alexei looks at it is like a bird and its hatchling. looking after them, making sure they grow to their full potential. the blond wants to give the younger skater what he never had at that age: SUPPORT.
HE NOTICES THE OTHER'S EYES, focused more on his own shoes than on what's in front of him, but he understands. there's been times when alexei's been like that, unable to look whoever he was speaking to in the eyes. even after all this time, after all the competitions and the interviews and the appearances, alexei's anxiety still gets to him when he feels cornered. a beast on the ice, a cornered kitten when scared.
❝ of course, ❞ A SMALL NOD, his hair falling in his face as he pushes it back. he meets miras' eyes with his own, the smallest little smile on his face. ❝ if you are ever needing to call, my cell phone is always on. i do not sleep very well as it is, so i would be awake when you are. there is quite a difference in times between our countries, after all. ❞
cont. from HERE with @gridlvd
there were many moments in life where miras felt he needed to pinch himself to prove the moment was real, and this proved to be yet another one of those moment to be added to the list. he looked upon the world around him with wide eyes that never expected to be right where he was, every point, every time he beat his seasons best, it had tears brimming in his eyes, burying his face into his hands unable to keep himself straight. but he didn't stop himself from feeling it, from enjoying the moment, even if it didn't set him on a podium, even if his step sequence was still a little messy and he attacked it a little too hard and frantically, he didn't lose the joy at the end of every program.
❛ you really mean it ?? that's . . . wow . . . ❜ there weren't enough words in his english vocabulary to suit the moment, the awe that he felt, but also the gratitude, but he gripped his phone a little tighter in his pocket, swallowing back whatever fears he may have previously had. ❛ can we get a picture together ?? so i can remember this ?? ❜ the question was hurried, and he didn't at all let it out that the picture would probably be printed and stored in the case of his phone for him to remember.
IT'S BEEN THIS WAY FOR NEARLY FIVE YEARS. the two of them, head to head, playing musical chairs on the podium and only ever losing to each other. ever since 2013, since that first grand prix assignment in canada, that first quad axel. alexei first, yori second. he'd been so worn out by the time sochi rolled around, injured four days before the team event, with the injury only getting worse by the time the individual free skate began. the bronze when he felt he should've won gold, feeling cheated as he stood on the podium with crutches. it was then that their rivalry was set in stone, what shaped the next four seasons of competition between them.
❝ no... ❞ HE SAYS IT WITH HIS HEAD TILTED DOWNWARD, unable to even look at the other. he knows that the international skating union, that their own federations will never see them as human. even the united states, all they see alexei as is something that makes them look good. and something tells him that yori feels a similar way.
IT'S A RARE MOMENT OF UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM. no one's trained quite as hard as the two of them, broken as many records as the two of them. they're at the top, on a pedestal so high it can't be reached without risking ending a career. it feels like an addiction to alexei at this point, the adrenaline rush and the high he gets from seeing that score higher than anyone else's. he would've done it, he would've had that gold. but dimitri. his own coach. the need to be perfect, to do every quad, to have six of them in a program, it was the blond's downfall.
❝ perhaps. perhaps one day people will be seeing us as something other than a machine. ❞
it was for a moment to pretend things could be different - but that wasn't reality. reality was the many meetings, where everything about his image was scrutinised, picked apart, he didn't smile there, didn't bow there, didn't show the gracious sculpted image that was expected. vulnerabilities. there needed to be some, but not many, not real ones, just something for someone to grip to. the quad axel - still not landed in reality, it didn't count if no one saw it, and how many years would the world bother to keep waiting to see it from him until they got bored. he didn't even try in competition, the skating union knew it and picked it apart each and every time, and he didn't bother to speak the words he in fact wanted to. his love for the ice wasn't in the competitions, the numbers, points, he loved it creatively, wanted to create something beautiful and breathtaking without it having to be judged in the way competitions were. but that wasn't how it worked, continuing to allow himself to be shoved deeper into that box with the hope his bones would break and he would simply just fit.
❛ i hope we get to see that day come to be, ❜ yori replied in quiet honesty. but the belief and light behind it was dim in reality, because how much hope could they really have, it was like going toward a dead end and hoping to find a path through. ❛ . . . if not us, then hopefully the future skaters will be free from it. ❜ there was more hope in the future generations, that maybe they could learn, do more. but they were compared against their success', a high bar that was near impossible to reach . . . likely until a points overhall or something of the kind that sees their names finally fade from history like they had never existed at all.
STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE STARTERS
a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings from the 1977 film, A New Hope. change & alter as needed.
"We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life."
"And don't let me catch you following me, begging for help, because you won't get it."
"Have you been in many battles?"
"Help me, [name]. You're my only hope."
"Rest easy, son, you've had a busy day. You're fortunate you're still in one piece."
"There's no sense in you risking yourself on my account."
"I'm getting too old for this sort of thing."
"I can't get involved! I've got work to do!"
"You must do what you feel is right, of course."
"I find your lack of faith disturbing."
"There's nothing you could have done, [name], had you been there. You'd have been killed, too."
"Watch your step. This place can be a little rough."
"[Name]'s put a price on your head, so large that every bounty hunter in the galaxy will be looking for you."
"I've been looking forward to killing you for a long time."
"I don't know what all the trouble is about, but I'm sure it must be your fault."
"I fear something terrible has happened."
"I suggest you try it again, [name]."
"Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them."
"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck."
"You have taken your first step into a larger world."
"I have a very bad feeling about this."
"You can't win. But there are alternatives to fighting."
"I'd prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around."
"Your destiny lies along a different path than mine."
"You'd better be right about this."
"That isn't very reassuring."
"This is not going to work."
"Looks like you managed to cut off our only escape route."
"Either I'm going to kill her, or I'm beginning to like her."
"Listen, I don't know who you are or where you came from, but from now on, you do as I tell you."
"It's a wonder you're still alive."
"You're braver than I thought."
"I think we took a wrong turn."
"There wasn't anything you could have done."
"You know, sometimes, I even amaze myself."
"If money is all that you love, then that's what you'll receive."
"Do you think a princess... and a guy like me...?"
"That's impossible, even for a computer."
"This will be a day long remembered."
"Why don't you come with us? You're pretty good in a fight. I could use you."
"Take care of yourself, [name]. I guess that's what you're best at, isn't it?"
"He's got to follow his own path. No one can choose it for him."
"I told you I'd make it someday, [name]."
"You've got to come back. You wouldn't want my life to get boring, would you?"
"I knew you'd come back! I just knew it!"
Наши тела бы могли отыскать по следам, Our bodies could be found by following the tracks,
Если бы мы не забыли оставить следы. If we hadn't forgotten to leave traces.
Дайте мне белые крылья, - я утопаю в омуте, Grant me white wings, for I am drowning in an abyss
Через тернии, провода, - в небо, только б не мучаться. Through thorns and wires, into the sky, all to escape suffering.
Тучкой маленькой обернусь и над твоим крохотным домиком I shall transform into a raincloud and above your hideaway
Разрыдаюсь косым дождем; знаешь, я так соскучился! I will cry slanting rain; you know, I missed you so much!
psa. I want a passionate ship — a ship that has heart stopping angst, that allows your muse to pin mine against a wall and make out with them if they have the desire to, that makes me make the most inhuman noises when they are even close to one another, that let’s the muses just let their development fly and soar to new levels everyday, that will make me yell at you forever and ever for making me ship them more and more. I want that type of ship.
