@grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - Tumblr Blog

“Men take advantage of their advantages in general,” Fran Lebowitz, the humorist and herself a tuxedo wearer, said recently. “But not with this. For a movie star to look pathetic, it takes a lot,” Ms. Lebowitz said. Perhaps Brad Pitt is not the clotheshorse one might wish, she added. “But anyone can tell him those pants don’t fit.” -"How to Wear a Tux,” The New York Times

I cannot wait to see her in Seattle on Friday night.

miss mrs or ms?

alteredego

Asia Kate Dillon non-woman in suit

photos of the work cannot be displayed because the photographer that the gallery hired with full knowledge of his behaviour is a Bad Man (Not The First) and has not taken accountability for his actions

MONDAY

leave house without breakfast or coffee

arrive late but she is later

sneak out the side door to look for a coffee shop open on a public holiday but she arrives as you are sneaking

she says it’s okay we have time to find coffee

we drive to look for coffee

this takes longer than walking

we found some coffee

we went back to the gallery, it’s around 10 45 now

gallery meeting for a while

i make a sign to hold up at the airport

race to the airport(in hope to attend forum) at around 12

there wasnt much time for the meeting

i spend time talking to andy(who could have been anyone) about his Work

he’s flying out in 2 days time, to go Home

we talk about networking and alcohol and awkwardness being lifted

i point to the tallest building in the city (it’s not very tall)

i drop him off/ we part ways/ we might never meet again but i picked him up from an airport on a public holiday i held a sign up with his name on it i drove him to his hotel and i listened to him and gave him my attention for around 30 minutes

it’s the afternoon, i have dropped him off, i have to find a car park

i waste 30 minutes looking for a carpark

i park a 15 minute walk away to save money

i rehearse

TUESDAY

retail job

perform

social/till late

night-panic/not coping

WEDNESDAY

morning-panic/not coping, miss volunteer shift

make it to afternoon volunteer shift

scribe(labour) to attend forum

womens only space

parenthood not just mothering

she left midway through

not wanting to be reduced to/not wanting a project to be reduced to/an all queer panel

i walk a long way to work the bar at the gallery

im not interested in talking

im not interested in who is talking to me

i am exhausted and overwhelmed by how boring/how bored i am in this gallery

there is so much shit art

i dont care about any of this art or any of these people

is this where i belong? i dont think it is

if not here then where?

this store room is full of products that fetch a high price and i think it’s all shit i think about how it is just made of shit it is just so uninteresting and lazy and these people must be so lazy and stupid to make this fucking bad art

do i even like art?

THURSDAY

i arrived(to the forum) at lunch time but i didn’t decide to get a coffee until the keynote started

i offered my labour but it wasn’t needed

i had to speed walk to get a coffee in a short 10 minute break

he does so much/ she says his soul remains in tact/ he implies barely

some artists had spent 4 days making an encyclopedia for us to read

they shared intimacy with us

they gave us an hour for reading

we went for a walk(we stopped reading)

the closing ceremony was difficult

we tried to substitute clapping for its sign

hands up high/fingers moving quickly

they told us to think deeply

they asked us what we will do

i don’t know what more i can do

i want to do and not think about money but reality is setting in/i am unable to earn much money because of all the time i put toward unpaid labour/how can i sustain myself

we left

the smell of you (and you, and you)

we share that space of the morning coffee

coffee is never just coffee

coffee?

before you take maggie nelson’s disembodied voice for a stroll

after your eyes well up with tears that never fall

that rocky lump in your throat

the personalised mug maggie was gifted that features a photograph of her partner and their children

a symbol of a hated nuclear family structure

she keeps it because it is a big mug that is the perfect size for a big beverage

you talk to one another about taking maggie for a stroll