Georgia Tech International Spouse Group

[gtspousegroup]

Halloween shenanigans

Everyone knows that no Halloween celebration is complete without some fun homemade pumpkin carvings and Jack-o’-Lanterns ready to greet trick-or-reaters, or just impress your friends and neighbors!

With many of our members, including yours truly, hailing from countries where Halloween is not celebrated, what better way to get into the Halloween spirit than to design some spooky (or not-so spooky) pumpkins together?!

While some of us stuck to tradition by carving pumpkins, others opted to paint them. No matter which technique, they all turned out quite amazing, if we do say so ourselves.

Happy Halloween!

                                                                                    - - by Tineke Van Varenberg

[gtspousegroup]

Free Play Monday at Tech Rec

To beat the heat, last week our international group of spouses decided to head indoors and spend an afternoon of fun and games at Tech Rec!

With eight fully equipped bowling lanes, a set of pool tables, table tennis, air hockey, and foosball, not to mention a great selection of board games and some of the cheapest prices around, there is something fun to be found no matter what tickles your fancy. Bonus, on Mondays (coincidentally the day our group meets), Tech Rec is home to FREE PLAY MONDAYS between 10 am and 5 pm, which means that all their activities are free to enjoy with a valid BuzzCard! 

First on the agenda: snag a lane and go BOWLING!

After a nail-biting game of bowling (complete with strikes, splits, lots of giggles and yes, a few gutter balls), we spotted the game Ticket to Ride on the shelf of the gaming lounge... All aboard!

Win or lose, a few hours spent in good company and some fun games is a pretty good way to keep cool, if we do say so ourselves...

[gtspousegroup]

Opportunities for F & J dependents

Moving to a new country can be stressful, especially if you are following a spouse or a partner, with no real pursuit waiting for you once you get there. Most of us have left behind a job, a field of study, or another vocation to follow our significant other as they come to the United States in pursuit of a degree, a job, a career. The prospect of not being able to pursue our own professional or academic goals during our stay here can be very daunting, especially for those of us relocating here for a prolonged period of time. A question many of us struggle with is: If I am not eligible to work, what can I do to make my life in the United States meaningful? What initially seems like an insoluble problem, does not necessarily need to be one, as there are a number of opportunities for spouses under F-2 or J-2 visa status to engage in in order to give our lives in Atlanta purpose.

This week, An Eunyoung, former F-2 spouse and current International Student and Scholar Coordinator at OIE, came to share her personal experience as an international spouse at Georgia Tech, as well as offer some professional help in navigating the possibilities available to those of us on F & J dependent visas.

So, if not work, what CAN we do?

First, it is important to note that while F-2 dependents are unfortunately not allowed to work in the United States under any circumstance, J-2 dependents are eligible to work in the United States, granted they have applied for and received an employment authorization card (EAD) from the U.S. Citizen and Immigration Services (USCIS). With a valid EAD, any J-2 dependent can accept any type of employment for the duration of the EAD. Preparing your application can be confusing, so if you have any questions, or need help preparing your file, OIE is always happy to help international spouses prepare and file their application.

An avenue that is available to all international spouses is study. While J-2 dependents are eligible for part-time or full-time study at every level of education, F-2 dependent may now also study part-time in any certified program at a school certified by the Student and Exchange Visitor Exchange Visitor Program (SEVP), so long as the study does not amount to what regulations define as full time for an F-1 or M-1 student. Regulations also allow F-2 dependents to participate up to full time in avocational or recreational studies, such as hobbies. However, an F-2 dependent who wants to enroll full time in a course of post-secondary academic or vocational study must apply for and obtain approval to change their nonimmigrant classification to F-1 before beginning their full-time study.

For more information: https://www.georgiaonmyline.org/degrees and https://www.guidetoonlineschools.com/best-online-colleges/georgia

Another great opportunity if you want to gain some relevant experience is volunteering. Not only will you gain valuable experience in your chosen field, it is also a great way to build your network and give back to your community. You can volunteer on a regular basis, or you can opt to volunteer every once in a while; whichever you choose, volunteering will give you a great sense of satisfaction, while also beefing up your resume. An: “As a linguist, I really wanted to find a volunteering opportunity where I could put my language skills to good use, while also gaining relevant experience for when I would go back to work. I chose to support refugee settlements in Atlanta by teaching ESL to new arrivals. It was often hard, but mostly very rewarding and it is an experience I will carry with me for the rest of my life.”

For a variety of volunteering opportunities: https://www.handsonatlanta.org/ and https://www.volunteermatch.org/ . For volunteering with refugees: https://www.rescue.org/volunteer-opportunities/atlanta-ga , https://globalvillageproject.org/engage/volunteer/ and https://globalvillageproject.org/engage/volunteer/, amongst others.

As we all know, education in the United States can be quite costly. Never fear, however, because there are other ways to learn something new or gain relevant experience. One of them is the free online platform Meetup, where you can find Meetup groups to meet people, do something you enjoy, or simply try something new! Because Meetup groups cover such a large variety of interests, including technology, writing, language, photography, fitness, etc., they allow you the opportunity to meet people with similar interests with whom you can share experiences and learn something new. For example, those seeking to gain career-oriented experience can attend Meetups to learn some of the basics in their field or gain familiarity in an area necessary for their job. Not only can Meetup be beneficial professionally, it can also benefit your personal experience. If you are new to Atlanta, Meetups can be your ticket to meeting new people, making new connections, and getting immersed in the local community. If you are interested in improving your proficiency level of any language, Georgia Tech’s very own Language Institute also hosts a Friends Conversation Program, a free weekly meeting where American students meet with international students for casual conversations. Additionally, you can join the Conversation Partner Program, in which Students from Georgia Tech and the Language Institute meet on their own time to practice the language they're learning with a native speaker. Even though it is not specifically mentioned on their website, these programs are also open for international spouses.

For more information about Meetup: https://meetup.com and about the Language Institute programs: https://www.gatech.edu/hg/item/72094

Though professional development is important to many of us, that does not mean that our personal development is any less valuable! For many of us, moving to a new country is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and we owe it to ourselves to enjoy the experience. Luckily, Atlanta is constantly buzzing with fun and interesting local events… we just need to know where to find them! Some great websites to find fun activities in the greater Atlanta area are Events12 (https://www.events12.com/atlanta/), Atlantaplanit (https://atlantaplanit.wabe.org/), and Creative Loafing (https://creativeloafing.com/See-and-Do). A great resource for parents wanting to find kid-friendly events nearby is Macaroni Kid (https://national.macaronikid.com/locations). So grab your friends, and head on out to enjoy all this great city has to offer!

Finally, figuring out what you want to do or achieve during your time here can be a challenge in itself, but it is important to realize that it is ok to take your time in figuring it out. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day either! Try one of our suggestions, or try them all, no matter what you decide to do during your time here, if you enjoy what you do, your life will automatically be meaningful.

                                                                                      - by Tineke Van Varenberg

[gtspousegroup]

SPF Orientation 2019

With a new academic year already underway, it is high time for us at the Georgia Tech Spouse Group to welcome a new group of international spouses, partners and families to Atlanta, and especially to the Georgia Tech Community. Welcome!

In case you missed the orientation meeting we held last Thursday, here is what you need to know:

GT Resources

The Georgia Tech International Spouse Group

If you are new to the Georgia Tech community; you might wonder "What is the Spouse Group?" The Spouse Group is a community for spouses, partners and family members of (international) Georgia Tech students and faculty who are looking for a community in Atlanta. Like you, many of the members of our group have moved to Atlanta with their spouse, which makes it a great place to meet new friends, share experiences and support each other throughout our journey abroad. During our weekly meetings, we offer a variety of (free) activities in which you are able to connect with others, and just have a good time!

We meet every Monday between 3:00pm-4:30pm at the Activity Room of Tenth and Home, located right next to campus (251 10th Street NW, Atlanta, GA, 30318). Come join us, we would love to welcome you to our group!

For more info, look us up on https://www.facebook.com/groups/gtspousegroup/ or e-mail us at [email protected] .

Office of International Education

Simply known as OIE on campus, they are a great resource for any international member of the Tech community. Whether you have questions concerning your rights as a spouse, visa restrictions (Am I allowed to work or study? etc.), or just have administrative queries (travel stamp, need help with your EAD application etc.), they are the ones to contact!

For more info, visit them online at https://oie.gatech.edu/, or drop by in person at their campus office at 631 Cherry Street, Savant Building, Suite 21, Atlanta GA 30332.

Buzzcard

It is your key to campus! Literally, because for a one-time fee of $30, a Buzzcard allows spouses and students alike access to a number of Tech amenities, such as the library, the gym, etc. If you want to enjoy all of the benefits our lovely campus has to offer, you will first need to visit the Buzzcard Center on Tech Square and get yourself a shiny new Buzzcard.

Get it here: https://buzzcard.gatech.edu/, or here: 2nd Floor of Barnes and Noble @ Georgia Tech (48 5th St NW, Atlanta, GA 30308) Monday - Friday from 8 AM - 5 PM.

Campus Recreation Center (a.k.a. the gym)

Known on campus as the CRC, this building is a sport walhalla which houses 2 indoor pools, a fitness center, climbing wall, running track, racquetball courts, badminton, basketball courts, etc. The spouse of a Georgia Tech affiliate (student or scholar) can use the Campus Recreation Center (CRC) for a small fee. Don't forget: you will need a Buzzcard in order to register!

For more info or to sign up, simply visit the Member Services Desk near the front entrance (750 Ferst Dr, Atlanta, GA 30318) or go to https://crc.gatech.edu .

Georgia Tech Language Institute

If you want to improve your English, then the Language Institute has got you covered! Alongside courses for students and faculty, the Institute also offers short courses for spouses throughout the year - at a discount! The short courses are intended for adult learners who are non-native speakers of English and would like to improve their English communication skills for both professional and social reasons. Many of the spouses in our group have taken these courses and they all rave about them!

For more information, visit the Language Institute at https://esl.gatech.edu/ .

Unable to take a class right now? The Language Institute also organizes a (free) weekly Language Café where you can meet new friends, share your culture and practice your English! They meet every Friday between 1:30 and 3:30 pm in front of the O'Keefe Building on campus (151 6th St NW, Atlanta, GA 30313).

GT Childcare

To help out the parents among us, Georgia Tech runs 2 daycare facilities:

The R. Kirk Landon Learning Center (off-campus)

The Children’s Campus @ Georgia Tech

Both care for children from six weeks of age through preschool, and both are managed by Bright Horizons.

For prices and more info about the R. Kirk Landon Learning Center (1015 Tumlin Street NW, Atlanta, GA, 30318): : https://child-care-preschool.brighthorizons.com/ga/atlanta/techhomepark.

For prices and more info about the Children's Campus @ Georgia Tech (251 10th St NW, Atlanta, GA 30318): https://child-care-preschool.brighthorizons.com/ga/atlanta/gtchildrenscampus.

Other Resources

GT International Breakaway

Once a month, this organization organizes a potluck party for internationals in an American family's home, with the purpose to welcome internationals, have fun, exchange culture, and make meaningful friendships across cultural boundaries in a relaxed atmosphere.

For more info, contact Christie at [email protected]

AMIS

Short for Atlanta Ministry With International Students, this organization promotes cultural understanding through friendship and hospitality with international students and scholars in the Greater Atlanta area. Their mission is to help international students and their families to get to know our city and connect them to local American families and individuals who want to serve and make international friends.

For more info, visit them at https://www.amis-inc.org/ .

Sustaining International Sisters (SIS)

SIS aims to create a community to support those suffering from the loss and stress that comes with re-location and establishing new lives. Through 90 minutes of InterPlay and 90 minutes of a shared meal, this organization seeks to offer a safe space for women to share their culture and support each other across cultural boundaries. Their "play and potluck" takes place on the first Saturday of every month in the greater Atlanta area.

For more info, go to https://www.sislife.org/.

                                                                                        By Tineke Van Varenberg

[gtspousegroup]

Convinced you know the ins-and-outs of Georgia Tech? Guess again!

Like hundreds of others - students, professors and staff alike - I walk the grounds of Georgia Tech multiple times a week. Almost every day, I walk down North Avenue, climb the stairs leading to Tech Tower and cut through campus on my way to the CRC. I take in the beauty of the fountain at the Campanille, silently greet Einstein as he sits in contemplation next to Tech Green, wave at the drivers of the Stinger Buses and hope to catch a glimpse of the Ramblin’ Wreck as it trundles past.

After 1,5 years of trudging up and down campus, I was convinced I knew it like the back of my hand. If anyone were to ask for directions, I was sure I would be able to steer them to their destination in an instant. But, as it turns out, I was wrong!

A few weeks ago, our lovely group of international spouses participated in a Georgia Tech Scavenger hunt. Divided into 3 groups, we braved the heat and started exploring, vying for the glory of being master connoisseur of Tech!

My group of 4 started off strong: Photo with the Campanille? Check! Selfie with Einstein? On-campus construction? Check and check! Snapshots of Tech Tower, Stinger Bus and Dean Griffin statue? Check! Check!! Check!!! Soon, we were sure we had it in the bag.

Our sense of victory did not last long, however, as our scavenger hunt had a few surprises in store, which left us all scratching our heads. Did you know there’s a dog’s headstone on campus? Or that it is tradition to steal the letter T off of signs?? Don’t worry, neither did we!

As Georgia Tech has your academic education at heart, let me serve as a fellow educator: to shield you from ignorance, allow me to share some of our recently-discovered Georgia Tech secrets with you.  Thank you, scavenger hunt!

Sideways the dog

Peacefully tucked away in the shadow of Tech Tower lies the headstone of Sideways the dog. After being thrown out of a car in front of the Varsity, which left her body permanently crooked (hence her name), Tech students took her in as part of Georgia Tech’s campus. She soon became a trusty companion of all Tech students and was everyone's favorite study buddy (or distraction from boring classes, take your pick). Unfortunately, Sideways died of an accidental poisoning in the summer of 1947, but she was never forgotten. Affected by her death, Tech students dedicated a small monument to her memory, which you can still visit today.

Mickey Mouse clock

Originally hung as a prank by two seniors, Lindsey Smith and Henry Claxton, in the fall of 1978, the Mickey Mouse Clock on the side of the Skiles building has stood the test of time. Even though the two owned up to the prank after they graduated, the giveaway to its origin is in its brand ‘Smaxton’ (a combination of their last names), which, if you look closely, is still visible on the clock today.

Stealing the T

Since the first theft of Tech Tower’s T in 1969 by a group of Georgia Tech students calling themselves the “Magnificent Seven”, stealing the T has been one of Georgia Tech’s most notable traditions and many a complex plan to scale Tech Tower and relieve it of the huge letter has been orchestrated throughout the campus’ history. Some attempts have even been successful, only to return the T at the halftime of the homecoming football game or to return it to the lawn of the president’s mansion for maximum effect. Though stealing the T is now absolutely forbidden, students still honor this tradition by stealing smaller T’s off of signs around campus.

Pi mile marker

Weaving though our beautiful campus, the Pi Mile Road Race (run annually in the Spring) is one of the longest continually running races in Atlanta. The first race, which was only 3 miles long, was held in 1973, but was later expanded to 3.14 miles – hence the Pi Mile (if you were hoping for pie like I was, you were gravely mistaken). Part of the race follows the Tyler Brown Pi-Mile trail, a 3.14 mile running course around well-lit areas of campus, designated with Pi mile markers.

To Hell with Georgia!

Rather than a separatist slogan, THWG has become the common rallying cry for Georgia Tech students in the rivalry between our beloved Yellow Jackets and UGA’s Bulldogs, which has been going on since the Bulldogs played (and lost!) their first football game against Georgia Tech in 1893, losing 28-6.

So we shout:

“What’s the good word? To Hell with Georgia!

How ‘bout them Dogs? Piss on them!”

And I do believe that says it all…

George P. Burdell

George P. Burdell, the legendary imaginary Tech student who is said to possess nearly every degree Georgia Tech offers, first enrolled in 1927 after a student had received 2 enrollment forms. Rather than notify Tech’s administration of the error, the student also enrolled as George P. Burdell and attended classes as both names, earning Burdell a B.S. in 1930 and later even a Master’s at Tech. Since the 1960’s, Tech students have managed to re-enroll Burdell at Georgia Tech more than a few times, thereby ensuring his continued education.  

As it turns out, we weren’t the only group baffled by some of the assignments of our scavenger hunt... The other spouses, though worthy opponents, seemed to be as turned around as we were by some of the queries of the hunt!  

What about you? How many of these legends and traditions did you know of? I dare to wager it was less than you thought it would be… Not to worry, though, there is still plenty of time to explore! And you don’t even need the excuse of a scavenger hunt to do it… escape from upcoming exams seems to me like as good a reason as any. Happy hunting!

-- by Tineke Van Varenberg

[gtspousegroup]

Jessica

This is Jessica. She is from Colombia. She still misses the flavors of her home country, but by cooking typical Colombian dishes - like her favorite; Maduro, bananas that have been cut in half and baked with cheese in the middle - she brings her home town back to life in her own kitchen. “It is delicious! I love it!”

In Atlanta, Jessica now has time to focus on doing the things she enjoys. Aside from improving her English by taking English classes at the Georgia Tech Language Institute, she is very excited about her newest project: opening a youtube channel that deals exclusively with psychology, featuring informative videos on relevant subjects that she has created herself in both English and Spanish. She also loves spending her time painting her friends’ nails and creating beautiful nail art designs for them. “In my university I used to paint the nails of all my friends. Here in Atlanta, I also did it for some of my friends. One of them told me: you should make a picture of your nails for promotion. Then, I posted this picture in the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group and some of them came to my house to get their nails done. I think this is good, because I can paint speak with them and I learn about these girls and their stories.”

Just like she loves the diversity of the various regional cultures of her beloved Colombia, from congenial and chatty in her hometown Cali to happy and loud or more reserved in the southern and northern regions, Jessica loves the eclectic mix of cultures she has been able to experience in Atlanta. This was also what attracted her to the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group, where she could meet and find support from men and women from all over the world, who have all followed their spouse to Atlanta and who find themselves in the same situation. “I met a lot of women from different countries there and they were very kind to me from the beginning and I have made some good friends there. I think this is very important! Meeting people from different cultures, I think this is very special to me. I try to ask them about their history, culture, language… I like to learn about that!” For Jessica, especially the multitude of religions that come together in the melting pot that is the United States has been a true revelation for her. “When I arrived in Atlanta, I visited the Martin Luther King Memorial and while I was sitting in his church with my best friend, I realized that, because she is a Buddhist, this was not her god; she believes in another god. Now, learning about all those other gods has made me think differently…”

Even though she is happy they decided to take advantage of the opportunity to live abroad, she has also realized that she wants to help Colombia grow and prosper. For her, Colombia is often a misunderstood and undervalued place, with a lot of beauty and good qualities, hidden away under layers of grime. “Colombia has good things, but we need to work on it in Colombia. They need us more there than here in the United States. I love my country very much… We are always improving our life and I believe that Colombia is at the start of a new history!”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

[gtspousegroup]

Black History (a briefing)

Last week, Pamela Stringfield came by to speak about Black history in the United States and shed some light on the Civil Rights Movement. If you missed it, it’s on video! However, because the video file is so large, click the link below to watch:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxQ5Xy5CgvIpLWNYZlhlTGJTaG8/view?ts=58924f65

If you’re a reader, and you’re looking for reading material that may provide insight into race relations in America, I recommend the following:

https://www.amazon.com/Between-World-Me-Ta-Nehisi-Coates/dp/0812993543

https://www.amazon.com/Americanah-Chimamanda-Ngozi-Adichie/dp/0307455920/ref=pd_sbs_14_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=NMYZ6WM0P1P7TANK8CGR

https://www.amazon.com/Homegoing-novel-Yaa-Gyasi/dp/1101947136/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1486154459&sr=1-1&keywords=homegoing

[gtspousegroup]

Heike

This is Heike. She is from Germany. She makes her own patchwork handbags. “I love it. Some people have already told me: That looks amazing, you should sell them! (laughs)”

When Heike’s husband Daniel was accepted as a PhD student at Georgia Tech, both of them were still enrolled as students in Germany. With only her thesis left to complete her degree, however, the couple decided to embrace the adventure and move to Atlanta, where Heike successfully finished and submitted her thesis and obtained her degree in Mathematics and Economics in July 2016. If someone had asked Heike in the beginning whether or not she would want to stay in the United States, she would wholeheartedly have answered “never ever!”, but now, she admits that Atlanta has grown on her more than she would have expected. Still, Heike’s stay in her new home in the city of Atlanta has not exactly been a true love story. Listed on the negative side of Heike’s pros and cons list we find the lack of care for environmental issues like recycling and curbing waste production and the feeling that truly connecting with the people around her isn’t as easy as in Germany. More importantly, Heike really misses her family and friends back home. Even though they keep in touch regularly, she realizes that she still misses a lot living so far away. “Once you have a deep connection to your friends and family and you are so close to them; even if you don’t see each other for 5 years, it is like nothing happened in between. Even if things have changed, you are still the same person inside.” Fortunately, Heike’s stay in Atlanta has also had its upsides. Number one on the plus side of Heike’s list is the famous Atlanta weather and she jokes that she often boasts about it to her friends in Germany. “Especially in the beginning, when I knew it was only 20 °C and raining in Germany, I would tell them: you know, it is 35 °C here and I’m going to the pool now! (laughs) In those moments I really like being here.” One of the biggest positive influences on her experience of moving abroad has been the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group, where she has found good friends that she can not only have fun with, but also complain to when needed. “This is a German thing, complaining. We are very good at that… and I like it, it really helps! (laughs)” She feels that, because they are all in the same boat, it is easier to relate to each other and become friends, even if everyone is from different countries, backgrounds and points of view. According to Heike, there are a shit ton of differences between her home country and the United States. While she has embraced some of the American traditions, like enjoying a tasty turducken at Thanksgiving, some of her German habits are too good to give up. She jokes that, like any true German, they still drink a lot of beer. Also, in Atlanta, Heike still makes her own fresh German-style bread and the awesome traditional German gingerbread called Lebkuchen, with special gingerbread spices she brought from Germany and prepared according to her mother’s recipe. But, as it turns out, even cooking can be a challenge in a different country. “Everything is different. When you try to make your favorite recipe and you go out to buy the ingredients, often you can’t find the stuff you want. Or you find it and it is super expensive... That is challenging.” All things considered, through travel, work and new friendships, Heike has learned to love her new home in the United States. She tells us that it is not about the place or the city…it’s about the people. “If I could make a city and put all my people in it, that would be my favorite city, no matter where that is!”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

[gtspousegroup]

Journey from Timid to Bold

When I reached US for the first time with my husband, I was filled with mixed emotions which many of my friends can relate to. I was excited for a new life, and happy to be blessed to have this opportunity. But there was also a lot of nervousness about getting used to a new environment, and fear of the unknown! When you are flooded with homesickness, even the tiniest inconvenience in a new place triggers your worst reactions!

From the very childhood, I was an introvert, quiet kid, who would hardly initiate conversations to make new friends in new surroundings. When I was new to Atlanta, I spent a long period alone at home, studying for a few exams. Only now I realize, that preparing for exams was a big excuse I gave myself to avoid meeting new people! With lot of encouragement from my husband, I finally decided to push myself to attend the International Spouse Group Meetings and make new friends. This is when my journey to being bold started!

I don’t have enough words to describe what an important role the “International Spouse Group” has played in my life! Not only do the organizers make us feel welcome, but all the friends that I have made there, are extremely supportive and very accommodating to each other! Every person that I have met there has taught me something new! Initially I used to stay quiet in the meetings, but I gradually learned that more I opened myself up, it was easier to blend with everyone! I then started looking for opportunities in the campus where I could get involved, and the first one was volunteering for the Women’s Leadership Conference. I could attend the conference as a volunteer, where I learnt the real meaning of “Leadership”. The theme of the Conference was “Be Bold” and it inspired me to face my fears, and take initiative to do new things in life. I also took inspiration from other girls in the Spouse Group, who were facing many challenges like me, yet managed to stay positive and learn new things in life! As my next step, I got an opportunity to lead one of the Spouse Group Meetings with a presentation on “Routine care for our precious smile”.

We as a Spouse Group also organized a cultural event “Around the World” and showed everyone what a great team we are! With support from everyone, the event turned out to be a grand success, and the memories I made will stay with me forever! I learned a lot in that process, and I am grateful to WRC, OIE entire GT community and of course all my dear friends for making it such a rich and memorable experience!

I thank Spouse Group for giving me this platform to grow and I thank all my friends for their never-ending support and encouragement. Whether it is about finding different opportunities or about any personal needs, Spouse Group is always there for help. This journey wherein a shy, timid girl grew to be bold and self-confident would not have been possible without all of them. But the first step was to step up and try to do things without fear of failure. Believe me, once you take the first step, nothing can stop you! .

I do realize that there is a lot more to learn in future, but I would like to share a few points I have learned so far by living in a multicultural environment:

1) It helps to be adjustable to other’s needs, and considerate of their challenges even though you are facing a lot yourself.

2) When in a group, it is better to communicate in a common language, which everyone can understand. This makes everyone feel respected.

3) It is wonderful to make friends from your own country, but if we are open to everyone, we learn a lot more about life in general. People all around the world have more stuff in common than different!

4) Comparing new environment to your home country never helps. It is easier to enjoy the new place if we respect the differences rather than criticize them.

5) Reach out to the right people for help, they are always there for you! Grab as many opportunities you can to grow and make the best of your stay. Don’t be afraid to try doing things for the first time, it’s worth it!

Hazel

[gtspousegroup]

Smriti

This is Smriti. She is from India. She is not afraid of a bit of adventure. In fact, she loves it: skydiving, trail hiking, river-rafting, even packing up her life and moving across the globe… This self-proclaimed adventure freak has done it all!

When Smriti got engaged to her husband Tanmay in 2012, he was employed in Atlanta, while she was working as a business analyst in Ohio and preparing to take on a new project for a Canadian bank. But as their wedding date drew closer, the couple decided they did not want to spend another minute apart. And so, Smriti denied the job opportunity in Canada and joined her husband in Atlanta instead. “Initially I didn’t think too much of it, because at that time I just wanted to be with my husband. Still, it was hard, because all of a sudden you have so much time on your hands and even if you do all the things you want to do, you still feel there is something missing.” For sports junkie Smriti, finding ways to occupy her time was something she did not struggle with. In Atlanta, she loves to fill her days playing a vast array of sports, from lawn tennis at the ALTA tennis club, to badminton, international dance classes and swimming at the Georgia Tech Campus Recreation Center. “I always used to dream that if I could do something different with my life, I would play a sport professionally! That is almost what I’m doing right now! (laughs)” Nevertheless, while adjusting to her new situation was not the challenge she had feared it would be, explaining how she fills her time in useful ways to others has proved to be quite a challenge at times. She feels that, especially in today’s society where women’s rights and independence have become such powerful concepts, only people who have been in similar situations can truly understand her decision and its impact on her life and mindset. “My husband has been trying to convince me to further my studies, but I just haven’t been able to go back to the books. Maybe it is the length of time I have been away from my studies, because I never had issues with studying, but now the feeling that I will not be able to do it constantly hits me.” For Smriti, surrounding yourself with a group of close friends when you are thousands of miles from your home and your loved ones is paramount. She tells us that the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group has been like a lifeline for her because it has offered her a chance to meet friends who not only share her experience of moving abroad, but understand the impact it has had on her life. “Going to a new place and meeting new friends is like starting from square one. The group has helped me make great friends in Atlanta!” Even though Smriti now has plenty of friends to share her life with; as a family person, she feels that friends can never really take the place of family in your life, no matter how close you become to them. “I love to be around my family… I think it is in our culture, we are more family-oriented in India than many other societies. For example, I stayed with my parents until I got married, whereas in the United States, people often move out when they are 18 or so and they live on their own for a while.” As a result, staying in touch with her family is also very important to Smriti and she talks to her family in India every day. “I am in touch with my family all the time! It is almost like a news broadcast: this is what I am doing, on these hours of the day. (laughs)” To make herself feel more at home in Atlanta, Smriti has included a few elements and items of Indian culture into her new life. She tells us that she still likes to celebrate certain Indian festivals; one of her favorites being Diwali, the festival of lights. She tells us that Diwali is always celebrated in a grand way in her family’s home, where the tradition is to play poker or tambola. So, in Atlanta, Smriti keeps the tradition alive by inviting her friends over for a Diwali party, where they will all play a round of poker to keep the tradition alive. Even though Smriti has come to love her home in Atlanta, where the weather is excellent and the lifestyle and quality of life are favorable, there is no doubt in Smriti’s mind that she will eventually want to go back to her home country. “If my family moved here, I’d be ok with staying in Atlanta. It’s really just the connection that I have to my family that pulls me back to my country. I feel that my parents took care of me all these years and in a way they still do, so now that they are getting older, I want to be with them and be able to take care of them. Now is the time that they need us and we are so far away from them. That is what makes me want to go back to my country.”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

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Denise

This is Denise. She is from Brazil. “I think you can live anywhere, as long as you have good friends and good people by your side!”

Almost 2 years ago, the city of Atlanta welcomed Denise and her husband Asteroide as two of its newest inhabitants. For Denise, who had always wanted the experience of living in a foreign country, moving to the United States was like a dream come true. Her adventure, however, suffered a bit of a rough start as Denise struggled to figure out the rules of her new home and her place in it. Not only did Denise miss her job as a hairstylist and make-up artist, the fact that she was not allowed to work in the United States made her question whether they had made the right decision. “I love my job! I worked a lot in Brazil, almost 12 hours every day; to me, it was not that difficult, because I really enjoy it… Not having anything to do here, that was the biggest challenge.” She feels disappointed by Federal Regulations which allow talented men and women to join their spouse, but at the same time prohibit them from applying to jobs or even enrolling as students. “In Brazil, they say that the United States is liberty and freedom, but when I arrived here I realized that this is not true. I know I can’t work, but I’m surprised they don’t allow me to study either. I realized there are a lot of women in the same situation as me and a lot of them are actually very professional and good at their job: we have a dentist, designers, even some doctors!” Another challenge Denise faced was learning to speak English, as she had no knowledge of the language before moving to the United States. Taking advantage of the time she now had, Denise threw herself into her studies and after a while, she managed to master the English language, which in turn allowed her to meet and communicate with new friends. “Going to the English classes in the Language Institute and the meetings organized by the International Spouse Group at Georgia Tech was really good. In the beginning it was very difficult, because I didn’t understand what they said... This made me very sad and I almost gave up a few times, but always I told myself: I should try again and keep learning English. I am happy I did it, because now I have good friends in both groups.” In Denise’s experience, initiatives like the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group are paramount when moving to a new country, not only because they provide a much needed support network for newcomers, but because they are a great place to meet and befriend a diverse group of people who all share the same experience of moving abroad. “Now I can say I have close friends from different cultures. This is really amazing; they have become friends for life!” For Denise, having good friends in Atlanta has definitely changed her life for the better. Still, she admits that she misses her family in Brazil a lot, especially now that she and her husband have welcomed their beautiful baby girl Sophia into their life 10 months ago. “I didn’t know I could love another person so much! I love my husband very much, but babies are so small and they catch your love so easily.” She tells us that while raising a child without close family nearby can be very hard, having good friends who are willing to help has made it a little easier. “I can’t say it is easy, but you can do it. In the beginning, you should really have someone to help, someone you can call. The friends I have made here have really helped me a lot!” While she cherishes the time she is able to spend with her daughter Sophia, Denise still made time to create a unique look for each girl in this series of portraits based on their personalities and wishes. Because leaving the job she loved so much was so difficult, being able to do what she loves as part of this project has meant a great deal to her and she has loved every minute of it. “It doesn’t matter where you are from, what matters is what you do for people.”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

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YU

This is Yu. She is from China. She mainly brought the traditional food from her home town in the Sichuan province with her to the United States. “Food is the flavor of your family or home town; you cannot buy it here. When you are homesick and you miss your home and family, the food from home will make you feel better.”

When Yu and her husband Haiyang decided to take the leap and leave their home country to move to Atlanta almost 2.5 years ago, Yu knew it would mean leaving her job as a financial consultant in China. More importantly, because she is not allowed to work in the United States, it would mean postponing her career altogether. A difficult decision, but one she wanted to make to support her husband’s dream. “At first, my husband struggled with this. You know, to ask a person to give up their dreams is not easy, but he believes that coming to the United States for his PhD studies will ultimately change the life of the whole family.” While Yu initially found it hard to adapt to life without a job, she realized that having this time off could actually be a good opportunity for her to realize her dream of starting a family. And so, in 2015, the couple welcomed their beautiful daughter Catherine into their lives. Yu admits that she never envisioned herself as a stay-at-home-mom, but that she is happy that she now has the time to focus on her daughter and her role as a mother, even it runs counter to what she was raised to believe about a woman’s place in the modern world. “From my childhood, I have been studying very hard to get a good job later on, but now I want to be a good mother first, so that I can focus on my job when I am able to work again.” She resents the often negative image of stay-at-home-moms and believes there should be more support and understanding for mothers willing to stay at home for their children. “Taking care of the kids is a job for both parents together and when a mother sacrifices herself and her career to do it, that should be paid. She still contributes her labor, time, energy and love; she is not a lazy woman, rather she is working all day and all night.” For Yu, raising her daughter so far away from her family and her home country can be a very difficult task at times and she wants her daughter to get to know both while their home is in the United States. “Now I miss my parents very much. I think that your parents are the only ones that, no matter where you are, what kind of person you have become or what your future is, they will support you and love you all the time.” She feels it is equally important to surround her daughter with both the customs and language of her home country, as well as those of her new one. Therefore, Yu often tells her daughter stories, not only the English children’s stories she has encountered in the United States, but also the traditional Chinese stories she grew up with. “Chinese and English stories have different ways of looking at the world, because they represent the different cultures and I want her to learn the difference between them.” Similarly, she has introduced elements of both cultures into their home and their lives, so that Catherine can enjoy the best of both worlds. Not only do they celebrate many of the traditional Chinese festivals, like the Spring Festival, they also take part in some American festivities, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. “Every Christmas Eve, we visit a church on Peachtree Street. It is very different for us, because in China, it is a big day for businesses and shopping! The stores give big discounts, etc. Here in the church it’s very quiet, both in the atmosphere, as well as in our minds. I really like it. And then the following day, of course we go shopping! (laughs)” Even though life in China is similar to life in the United States in a multitude of ways, Yu does admit that she prefers certain aspects of life in her new home over that in her homeland. For example: as opposed to China, where air pollution is a well-known problem, Yu enjoys the fresh air and the abundance of trees and nature found in the city of Atlanta. She has also grown very fond of the people in the South, who she describes as very friendly and helpful, but above all very respectful towards each other. She admits that she was pleasantly surprised the first time she heard people thanking their bus driver before getting off the bus. “In China nobody does this; they think that because they have paid for the service, they don’t need to thank them, but here everyone shows respect." More importantly, she admires the confidence of the American people and hopes to pass this on to her daughter Catherine. “Chinese girls are very shy. Sometimes we worry about making mistakes, or offending someone, but people in the United States are always very confident. When I teach Catherine, I will teach her to be confident and to just be herself, without worrying about what others are thinking.” What she loves most about her new home is the variety of cultures she has encountered there, allowing her to live vicariously through the international group of friends she has met there. She loves hearing her friends’ stories and little known facts about their home countries and excitedly shares her own stories about growing up in Chengdu, the home of the giant panda, with them. “I like the different cultures here; it is very fresh and exciting for me. A person doesn’t always have a lot of chance to visit many different countries, but when you talk to people from different countries, it is like you have visited these places.” She feels inspired by her friends in the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group; not only by how they overcome certain struggles and worries linked to moving to another country, but also by the way they come together to lean on each other during bad times and celebrate together during good times. Still, while Yu has come to feel at home in the United States, it will never be able to take the place of her home country. To remind her of her home and feel closer to her family, she has brought a little Buddha statue with her. “My grandmother talks to the Buddha every day, to protect her relatives and bring them luck. So I have brought the statue with me for luck and protection for my loved ones as well!”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

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The 2016 White Elephant is the year of soap and holiday decor! Thank you to everyone who came out and made food and dessert.

Have a wonderful, safe, and warm holiday. See you in 2017!

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ELLY

This is Elly. She is Iranian-Singaporean. She jokes that moving to the United States has been a childhood dream, ever since she visited Disney World when she was 8 years old.

Elly is a true global citizen: not only well versed in the art of travel, but especially in the art of adapting to a different country and its culture. Originally from Iran, she grew up and attended international schools in Singapore, after which she left her home to fulfill part of her law degree in London. As a result, after accompanying her husband Abouzar to her new home in the city of Atlanta 1 year ago, adapting to yet another culture was not as challenging for her as it might be for others. “I would say it was an easy transition, because I had lived abroad before. My family and I had also already traveled in the United States, so I was already familiar with where to buy things and where to do things, so it wasn’t that bad… and thank God for Google! (laughs)” Elly claims that the fact that she is a third culture kid was actually the main reason she wanted to move to the United States; a place characterized by the cultural diversity of its population and its acceptance of people from all cultures, countries, races and religions. “I’m not from anywhere, but I am also from everywhere and it is very nice to know that the American people will accept you as one of them. Because you can be American and still be from anywhere in the world.” The combination of being raised in a traditional Iranian family and her childhood in Singaporean society has resulted in the feeling that she is neither fully Iranian, nor fully Singaporean. Similarly, in Atlanta, her home life is neither completely one, nor the other. Rather, it is an inclusive mix of traditions, cultures, beliefs and influences. “When you come to my house, you will still see a lot of Iranian elements, like my Persian carpets, but I also have some Western elements in my house… so when people come over, they can definitely see I have lived elsewhere and that this is not a traditional Iranian house.” Similarly, Elly and her husband not only uphold certain traditions of their home country, they have included various festivals and traditions from other cultures as well. “I love Singaporean and Western traditions, but also our Iranian ones. Now, I celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I also love the Iranian New Year called Nowruz, which means ‘a new day’ and I celebrate it full on, I love it! I do a lot of the different traditions and I think that’s the whole fun of it; more reason to be merry! (laughs)” An eclectic person by nature, Elly’s professional and personal interest are also varied. After graduating law school and working in the legal department of Singapore’s largest bank DBS, Elly left her career in law to pursue her passion: cooking and baking. Not only did she successfully start her her own catering business in Singapore, she also worked as a pastry chef in a restaurant to learn the ropes of the trade. If that was not enough, she also started a small business teaching and familiarizing young children with the English language, so they would be able to transition to English speaking schools. “I really liked it because I was doing something that I really loved…. And then we moved here and I went from a very busy lifestyle to no job! (laughs)” Now, even though she misses working, she concedes that she likes the fact that her current situation allows her the time to reflect on the past, but especially on what she wants to achieve next in her life. “I think I have changed… in some ways yes and in some ways no. I am still the same person when you talk to me, but inside, I have made some personal development. In the past year, I think I have tried to build myself: I am more calm and patient now.” As a true foodie, Elly made sure to bring a few typical Iranian ingredients with her to the United States, so that she would be able to continue cooking the traditional Iranian dishes she grew up with; among them the pomegranate molasses made by her husband’s parents in Iran. She tells us that, while she misses Singaporean food, the dish she misses most is her mother’s zereshk polo. “It is really sour, but it is so good! I make it exactly the same way, but it is just not the same as when my mom makes it, so I definitely miss that!” When Elly speaks of her mother, it immediately becomes clear that she is very important in Elly’s life. She tells us that leaving her family was the hardest part of moving, especially considering the difference in time zone, which makes it impossible to talk to her family without scheduling a mutually convenient time first. She tells us that, even though the relationship with her mother has changed since she moved to the United States, the love and closeness between them has not. “Missing my mom, that was hard at first, both for me and for her. In Iranian culture, we love our dads very much, but we worship our moms. We have a saying in Iran: heaven is underneath the feet of mothers. That is how important mothers are to us.” Without friends and family nearby, Elly feels that the relationship between her and her husband has become even stronger than before. She tells us that moving abroad has led to a special bond between them that no-one else can understand, because it is one that can only be shared between people who have lived through such an experience together. As a social butterfly, Elly wholeheartedly confirms the South’s reputation for being nice and she enjoys striking up random conversations with people she meets on the streets of Atlanta. “I really like the people here. It is nice to actually just randomly talk to somebody, anybody, as it might be the only conversation with someone else you will have all day. Talking to people definitely helps if you don’t have family here.” More importantly, she stresses the importance of finding friends as an important element of feeling at home in a new place. Although she often felt lonely when she first arrived in the United States, she feels she has made several meaningful friendships since then. “I am glad my friend Zeynab introduced me to the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group; it is really fun. Everyone is really friendly and it is a very nice and harmonious group. It’s nice to know that if something happens, at least I can call someone, you know. If shit comes down, there’ll be someone there! (laughs)”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

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FRANCISCA

This is Francisca. She is from Chile. She has recently learned how to cook typical Chilean dishes. “I miss the food in Chile. I brought some with me, like my grandmother’s jam, for example. These make us feel a little bit closer to Chile.”

A lot has happened for Francisca in the past year; not only did she get married to her husband Felipe, she also gave up her job as an engineer in a mining consulting company in Chile so that she could follow him to the United States for his PhD. Excited about moving to a different country and looking forward to experiencing a new culture and learning new things, the decision to give up her job was an easy one to make. She tells us that her family and friends in Chile were very supportive of her decision. “All the people in Chile were happy because I would have a year to be relaxed without having to work. I think all the people want that there, because in Chile we work a lot!” While initially she didn’t really think about the implications for her career, during the past year she has realized that she is actually very interested in developing her profession. So, she decided to go back to school. After obtaining her GRE and TOEFL certificates, she is currently working to earn her master’s degree in industrial engineering at the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta; studies that she will be able to apply to her chosen career as a mining engineer when she goes back to Chile. Even though education is very expensive in the United States, Francisca considers it a good investment for her future. “What I paid for 6 years of university in Chile, I am now paying for just 1.5 years of study in the United States. Still, going back to school was the best option that I had here... I never imagined going back to school, but now here I am! (laughs)” Despite the fact that, in Francisca’s opinion, Chilean and North American culture bear a lot of similarities, she is often surprised by certain particularities of the United States. Something that really caught her attention was that there is still a big difference between the different ethnic groups in the United States. “I thought that wouldn’t be an issue here because they have an African American president, but there still is. This is very strange to me.” As opposed to her former home in Chile, where the streets are always brimming with people, she feels lonely walking on the empty sidewalks of Atlanta, where people seem to take the car for even the shortest distance. “It really surprised me that people don’t walk. Here, I don’t feel like I can walk by myself, because I don’t feel safe. That is one of the challenges of moving to another country: you miss the feeling of being comfortable. In Chile, you know when someone on the streets looks dangerous, but here you can’t even recognize if someone is. You have to learn everything again.” What she loves most about the United States is its multicultural society. Unlike Chile, Atlanta, like any true university town, is home to a diverse group of races and cultures from all over the globe, assimilated into a cohesive whole. As a member of the Georgia Tech International Spouse group, she has also gotten the opportunity to befriend people from many of these cultures. “I think that is amazing! Knowing people from other cultures makes you grow a lot. I don’t think it is hard to be part of an international group of friends. Sometimes, though, you can have some troubles, because you don’t do the same things or think about things in the same way... But if you understand and respect that you have grown up in different cultures with different points of views, it is not a problem.” Although moving abroad has been an amazing experience for Francisca, she knows she wants to move back to Chile eventually. “Last month I was on vacation in Chile and I went to the office where I used to work and I thought: if I had been here the past year, it would have been the same now as it was the previous 3 years… but during this year in Atlanta, I have learned a lot and have met people from different countries; so it is nice to be here. For a short time! (laughs).” She claims the main reason she wants to return home are her friends and family. “I miss my family and friends. Now that I am not living and working in Chile, I can’t help my family anymore… after all they have done for me. I’m also always worried something will happen to them and that I won’t be able to travel there in time… That has been very difficult for me. Also, a lot of my friends in Chile are getting married, having babies, etc. and I am not there. They are the reason I want to go back.”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

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GOWRI

This is Gowri. She is from India. In Atlanta, she has discovered trail walking and now she loves to hike the nature trails with her family: “the fun part is that my kids like it too!”

When Gowri invites us into her home on the day of the interview, it immediately becomes clear that her Indian culture and traditions are still a very important part of her family’s new life in the United States. At least twice every day, Gowri cooks the traditional meals of her home country for herself and her family and we as guests are also treated to some delicious home-made Indian snacks. We drink juice from traditional stainless steel glasses and enjoy a piece of home-made Handvo, a type of cake made from mixed lentils and rice with khatti-mithi chutney. According to Gowri, India still has a panoply of traditions and long-established customs. In recent years, however, the more educated urban communities in India have become more selective in which traditions they follow, only choosing to follow these traditions which are important to them personally. In the United States, Gowri and her family still celebrate the most important festivals, though not as elaborately as they would in India. She tells us that these are the moments she misses her country most: while everyone in India comes together to celebrate, Gowri and her family don’t have anyone to celebrate with in the United States. “There are a few festivals like Diwali and Holi that we do celebrate. Then, we make sure that we are together as a family. The essence of these festivals in our country is that the family comes together and thanks the Almighty for all that they have been given. That is exactly what I want to teach my children: we don’t do this because it is tradition, but because we want an excuse to thank our God for what we have been given. And they like it, apparently.” Like tradition, family is very important to Gowri and the welfare of her two children Sneha and Siddharth played a big part in her decision to come to the United States almost one year ago. Even though making the decision to leave her research job in India to follow her husband Ashish to the United States for his PhD was very hard, Gowri did not feel it would be right to separate her family from each other. She feels that, as a parent, you cannot put your children through pain just because you want to fulfill your dream. “It was a very dicey situation: should we all go to the United States as a family or should I stay behind in India with my kids, where I can continue with my career, but also have the support of my parents? It was a very hard decision, because moving here meant putting everything at stake. You have to put your career on hold… just put it in a box and close it, and then don’t think about it.” Her children are also the main reason Gowri has not applied to any study programs or jobs in the United States. She feels that moving to a different country and culture was difficult enough for them and so she decided she wanted to stay home to be with them when they are not in school. Nevertheless, by taking online courses through online education platforms such as Coursera, Gowri is able to keep herself up-to-date on the latest advances in various fields of technology. Although taking these courses will not earn her a degree, it allows her to utilize her free time in a constructive manner. “My husband is very supportive of me. Most of the time he pushes me; often, he will come and share his opinion about what he has studied and we discuss the technical issues one of us has come across that day.” She jokes that, while her children initially missed their life in India, watching the Rio 2016 Olympics has changed their views on their new home. “In the beginning, they were feeling very left out here. The different culture and the Southern accent made adapting to this new country very difficult. Of course, now, they are much more comfortable. Some time back, my father called and my son was proudly telling him about the Olympics: ‘you know, the Americans are winning all the medals!’ (laughs) This helped them change their mind about living in the United States.” Not only was moving abroad a big change for Gowri’s children, Gowri admits it was also a culture shock for her and her husband. From the famous Southern accent that Gowri and her family had trouble understanding, to arriving in a strange country where they did not know anything or anyone, Gowri met tons of challenges along the way. “First of all, I could not believe where we had landed! Why did we do this?! What went wrong with our mind that we made the decision and we landed here? (laughs)” Luckily, Gowri soon found that the people she met in Atlanta were very supportive and welcoming, and she couldn’t believe how helpful people were. Another pleasant surprise was the work ethic she observed in American people. She admires the dedication and passion they have for their job, whatever that job may be. “Even if someone is just cutting a lawn, they do it with passion! That is absolutely missing in our country. I just hope that it was available in some pocket, then I could collect it from them and give it to my people in India. (laughs)”. She tells us that while she only used to work half-heartedly in India, she will adopt this point of view and be more passionate about what she does when she goes back to work in her home country. Ultimately, she feels that moving abroad has been a positive experience, especially for her children. “I think this kind of exposure to a different culture helps them broaden their horizon and helps them think beyond a certain limit.”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

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BERNI

This is Berni. She is from Chile. She is passionate about defending women’s rights, their empowerment and independence.

One of Berni’s dreams has always been to live in another country, so when her husband Matias told her he was thinking of moving to Atlanta for his PhD, Berni didn’t hesitate long. “He let me make the decision, because I was going to ‘lose’ the most. I decided to come because it may be the best chance for me to live in another country.”Moving to the United States meant that Berni not only had to leave behind her friends and family, but also her job in HR as an organizational psychologist, in which she was in charge of hiring people with disabilities and women at social risk. She admits that the fact that she can’t work in the United States was a big challenge in the beginning and that she is afraid to lose her career because of the long time off; but at the same time, she appreciates the time that she has now. “I think that it’s good to have a time off, because otherwise you will work your whole life.” In Atlanta, she likes to spend her days going to Zumba classes at the gym with friends, improving her English by taking English classes and taking different courses on the internet to learn new things and skills. Berni also likes the Georgia Tech International Spouse group, as it is a great way to make friends, but also a much needed support system for foreign spouses who are new to the United States and she likes helping the other girls wherever she can. “Helping the other girls is important, because we are like each other’s family here. The only thing we have are our friends, so it is important to support each other. That’s why I help them whenever they need me.” For Berni, friends and family hold a very special place in her life. At times, when she was afraid that she was not making the best decision, they encouraged her to take the plunge. “My friends told me that I had to do it, they encouraged me. They told me that I have to take advantage of this time and to do all the things I didn’t have the chance to do in Chile because I didn’t have time. My parents also encouraged me a lot.” In Atlanta, she still speaks with her Chilean family and friends every day. “I think with all the social media, you are very close to your family and friends. I speak with my parents and brothers and sister every day. I am very close to them, especially my mom. The ones that I miss the most are my grandparents, because they are old and I am worried something will happen to them... I also speak with my friends in our Whatsapp group every day, they write me all the time!” Next to family, she especially misses the food of her home country and the famous Chilean parties. “I didn’t know how to cook before coming to Atlanta, but now, I am learning to cook typical Chilean dishes like cazuela and empanadas.” While Berni feels that adapting to the American way of life was relatively easy for her, she tells us that the experience of getting to know the customs of other cultures has not always been without hiccups. Unlike Americans, Chileans have the custom to kiss when they greet someone or say goodbye to them. She jokes that, even after 1 year in Atlanta, she still hasn’t gotten completely used to greeting her friends without kissing them. “In Chile, we like to touch a lot… The first time was with a friend of mine and I didn’t think about it. When I was saying goodbye to her, I was going to kiss her and she asked me: what happened to you?! That was very awkward. (laughs)” Even though Berni didn’t have many challenges adapting to North American culture, she admits that she did have some trouble understanding some of her new friend’s cultures. She tells us that what she admires most about the women in her country is that they believe in fighting for women’s empowerment. As such, it was challenging for Berni to understand the different ways women are regarded in some other cultures and the roles these women play in them. “I like that a woman has a lot of power, I believe in women’s empowerment. It has been a challenge for me to be tolerant with other cultures, because I like that women can do whatever they want. In the beginning, I was telling them, you don’t have to do that, you have to do whatever you want! But then I thought, maybe they want to live like that, so who am I to interfere? You have to respect all the different cultures and ways people think.” Ultimately, Berni believes that moving to the US has changed her life and relationship with her husband Matias in a positive way. “In your own country, you have your family and friends, and here you only have your husband. Every weekend, we used to go to our families or get together with friends, but here we don’t have that option. It’s good and bad. As a couple, you become closer when you are alone.” She tells us that she feels that she has two homes now, one in Atlanta and one in Chile. “Chile is my home, because my family and memories are there, but my home is also here with Matias. My home is divided now, here and there.”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja