#sonalsukheeja

[gtspousegroup]

Jessica

This is Jessica. She is from Colombia. She still misses the flavors of her home country, but by cooking typical Colombian dishes - like her favorite; Maduro, bananas that have been cut in half and baked with cheese in the middle - she brings her home town back to life in her own kitchen. “It is delicious! I love it!”

In Atlanta, Jessica now has time to focus on doing the things she enjoys. Aside from improving her English by taking English classes at the Georgia Tech Language Institute, she is very excited about her newest project: opening a youtube channel that deals exclusively with psychology, featuring informative videos on relevant subjects that she has created herself in both English and Spanish. She also loves spending her time painting her friends’ nails and creating beautiful nail art designs for them. “In my university I used to paint the nails of all my friends. Here in Atlanta, I also did it for some of my friends. One of them told me: you should make a picture of your nails for promotion. Then, I posted this picture in the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group and some of them came to my house to get their nails done. I think this is good, because I can paint speak with them and I learn about these girls and their stories.”

Just like she loves the diversity of the various regional cultures of her beloved Colombia, from congenial and chatty in her hometown Cali to happy and loud or more reserved in the southern and northern regions, Jessica loves the eclectic mix of cultures she has been able to experience in Atlanta. This was also what attracted her to the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group, where she could meet and find support from men and women from all over the world, who have all followed their spouse to Atlanta and who find themselves in the same situation. “I met a lot of women from different countries there and they were very kind to me from the beginning and I have made some good friends there. I think this is very important! Meeting people from different cultures, I think this is very special to me. I try to ask them about their history, culture, language… I like to learn about that!” For Jessica, especially the multitude of religions that come together in the melting pot that is the United States has been a true revelation for her. “When I arrived in Atlanta, I visited the Martin Luther King Memorial and while I was sitting in his church with my best friend, I realized that, because she is a Buddhist, this was not her god; she believes in another god. Now, learning about all those other gods has made me think differently…”

Even though she is happy they decided to take advantage of the opportunity to live abroad, she has also realized that she wants to help Colombia grow and prosper. For her, Colombia is often a misunderstood and undervalued place, with a lot of beauty and good qualities, hidden away under layers of grime. “Colombia has good things, but we need to work on it in Colombia. They need us more there than here in the United States. I love my country very much… We are always improving our life and I believe that Colombia is at the start of a new history!”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

[gtspousegroup]

Heike

This is Heike. She is from Germany. She makes her own patchwork handbags. “I love it. Some people have already told me: That looks amazing, you should sell them! (laughs)”

When Heike’s husband Daniel was accepted as a PhD student at Georgia Tech, both of them were still enrolled as students in Germany. With only her thesis left to complete her degree, however, the couple decided to embrace the adventure and move to Atlanta, where Heike successfully finished and submitted her thesis and obtained her degree in Mathematics and Economics in July 2016. If someone had asked Heike in the beginning whether or not she would want to stay in the United States, she would wholeheartedly have answered “never ever!”, but now, she admits that Atlanta has grown on her more than she would have expected. Still, Heike’s stay in her new home in the city of Atlanta has not exactly been a true love story. Listed on the negative side of Heike’s pros and cons list we find the lack of care for environmental issues like recycling and curbing waste production and the feeling that truly connecting with the people around her isn’t as easy as in Germany. More importantly, Heike really misses her family and friends back home. Even though they keep in touch regularly, she realizes that she still misses a lot living so far away. “Once you have a deep connection to your friends and family and you are so close to them; even if you don’t see each other for 5 years, it is like nothing happened in between. Even if things have changed, you are still the same person inside.” Fortunately, Heike’s stay in Atlanta has also had its upsides. Number one on the plus side of Heike’s list is the famous Atlanta weather and she jokes that she often boasts about it to her friends in Germany. “Especially in the beginning, when I knew it was only 20 °C and raining in Germany, I would tell them: you know, it is 35 °C here and I’m going to the pool now! (laughs) In those moments I really like being here.” One of the biggest positive influences on her experience of moving abroad has been the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group, where she has found good friends that she can not only have fun with, but also complain to when needed. “This is a German thing, complaining. We are very good at that… and I like it, it really helps! (laughs)” She feels that, because they are all in the same boat, it is easier to relate to each other and become friends, even if everyone is from different countries, backgrounds and points of view. According to Heike, there are a shit ton of differences between her home country and the United States. While she has embraced some of the American traditions, like enjoying a tasty turducken at Thanksgiving, some of her German habits are too good to give up. She jokes that, like any true German, they still drink a lot of beer. Also, in Atlanta, Heike still makes her own fresh German-style bread and the awesome traditional German gingerbread called Lebkuchen, with special gingerbread spices she brought from Germany and prepared according to her mother’s recipe. But, as it turns out, even cooking can be a challenge in a different country. “Everything is different. When you try to make your favorite recipe and you go out to buy the ingredients, often you can’t find the stuff you want. Or you find it and it is super expensive... That is challenging.” All things considered, through travel, work and new friendships, Heike has learned to love her new home in the United States. She tells us that it is not about the place or the city…it’s about the people. “If I could make a city and put all my people in it, that would be my favorite city, no matter where that is!”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

[gtspousegroup]

Smriti

This is Smriti. She is from India. She is not afraid of a bit of adventure. In fact, she loves it: skydiving, trail hiking, river-rafting, even packing up her life and moving across the globe… This self-proclaimed adventure freak has done it all!

When Smriti got engaged to her husband Tanmay in 2012, he was employed in Atlanta, while she was working as a business analyst in Ohio and preparing to take on a new project for a Canadian bank. But as their wedding date drew closer, the couple decided they did not want to spend another minute apart. And so, Smriti denied the job opportunity in Canada and joined her husband in Atlanta instead. “Initially I didn’t think too much of it, because at that time I just wanted to be with my husband. Still, it was hard, because all of a sudden you have so much time on your hands and even if you do all the things you want to do, you still feel there is something missing.” For sports junkie Smriti, finding ways to occupy her time was something she did not struggle with. In Atlanta, she loves to fill her days playing a vast array of sports, from lawn tennis at the ALTA tennis club, to badminton, international dance classes and swimming at the Georgia Tech Campus Recreation Center. “I always used to dream that if I could do something different with my life, I would play a sport professionally! That is almost what I’m doing right now! (laughs)” Nevertheless, while adjusting to her new situation was not the challenge she had feared it would be, explaining how she fills her time in useful ways to others has proved to be quite a challenge at times. She feels that, especially in today’s society where women’s rights and independence have become such powerful concepts, only people who have been in similar situations can truly understand her decision and its impact on her life and mindset. “My husband has been trying to convince me to further my studies, but I just haven’t been able to go back to the books. Maybe it is the length of time I have been away from my studies, because I never had issues with studying, but now the feeling that I will not be able to do it constantly hits me.” For Smriti, surrounding yourself with a group of close friends when you are thousands of miles from your home and your loved ones is paramount. She tells us that the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group has been like a lifeline for her because it has offered her a chance to meet friends who not only share her experience of moving abroad, but understand the impact it has had on her life. “Going to a new place and meeting new friends is like starting from square one. The group has helped me make great friends in Atlanta!” Even though Smriti now has plenty of friends to share her life with; as a family person, she feels that friends can never really take the place of family in your life, no matter how close you become to them. “I love to be around my family… I think it is in our culture, we are more family-oriented in India than many other societies. For example, I stayed with my parents until I got married, whereas in the United States, people often move out when they are 18 or so and they live on their own for a while.” As a result, staying in touch with her family is also very important to Smriti and she talks to her family in India every day. “I am in touch with my family all the time! It is almost like a news broadcast: this is what I am doing, on these hours of the day. (laughs)” To make herself feel more at home in Atlanta, Smriti has included a few elements and items of Indian culture into her new life. She tells us that she still likes to celebrate certain Indian festivals; one of her favorites being Diwali, the festival of lights. She tells us that Diwali is always celebrated in a grand way in her family’s home, where the tradition is to play poker or tambola. So, in Atlanta, Smriti keeps the tradition alive by inviting her friends over for a Diwali party, where they will all play a round of poker to keep the tradition alive. Even though Smriti has come to love her home in Atlanta, where the weather is excellent and the lifestyle and quality of life are favorable, there is no doubt in Smriti’s mind that she will eventually want to go back to her home country. “If my family moved here, I’d be ok with staying in Atlanta. It’s really just the connection that I have to my family that pulls me back to my country. I feel that my parents took care of me all these years and in a way they still do, so now that they are getting older, I want to be with them and be able to take care of them. Now is the time that they need us and we are so far away from them. That is what makes me want to go back to my country.”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

[gtspousegroup]

Denise

This is Denise. She is from Brazil. “I think you can live anywhere, as long as you have good friends and good people by your side!”

Almost 2 years ago, the city of Atlanta welcomed Denise and her husband Asteroide as two of its newest inhabitants. For Denise, who had always wanted the experience of living in a foreign country, moving to the United States was like a dream come true. Her adventure, however, suffered a bit of a rough start as Denise struggled to figure out the rules of her new home and her place in it. Not only did Denise miss her job as a hairstylist and make-up artist, the fact that she was not allowed to work in the United States made her question whether they had made the right decision. “I love my job! I worked a lot in Brazil, almost 12 hours every day; to me, it was not that difficult, because I really enjoy it… Not having anything to do here, that was the biggest challenge.” She feels disappointed by Federal Regulations which allow talented men and women to join their spouse, but at the same time prohibit them from applying to jobs or even enrolling as students. “In Brazil, they say that the United States is liberty and freedom, but when I arrived here I realized that this is not true. I know I can’t work, but I’m surprised they don’t allow me to study either. I realized there are a lot of women in the same situation as me and a lot of them are actually very professional and good at their job: we have a dentist, designers, even some doctors!” Another challenge Denise faced was learning to speak English, as she had no knowledge of the language before moving to the United States. Taking advantage of the time she now had, Denise threw herself into her studies and after a while, she managed to master the English language, which in turn allowed her to meet and communicate with new friends. “Going to the English classes in the Language Institute and the meetings organized by the International Spouse Group at Georgia Tech was really good. In the beginning it was very difficult, because I didn’t understand what they said... This made me very sad and I almost gave up a few times, but always I told myself: I should try again and keep learning English. I am happy I did it, because now I have good friends in both groups.” In Denise’s experience, initiatives like the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group are paramount when moving to a new country, not only because they provide a much needed support network for newcomers, but because they are a great place to meet and befriend a diverse group of people who all share the same experience of moving abroad. “Now I can say I have close friends from different cultures. This is really amazing; they have become friends for life!” For Denise, having good friends in Atlanta has definitely changed her life for the better. Still, she admits that she misses her family in Brazil a lot, especially now that she and her husband have welcomed their beautiful baby girl Sophia into their life 10 months ago. “I didn’t know I could love another person so much! I love my husband very much, but babies are so small and they catch your love so easily.” She tells us that while raising a child without close family nearby can be very hard, having good friends who are willing to help has made it a little easier. “I can’t say it is easy, but you can do it. In the beginning, you should really have someone to help, someone you can call. The friends I have made here have really helped me a lot!” While she cherishes the time she is able to spend with her daughter Sophia, Denise still made time to create a unique look for each girl in this series of portraits based on their personalities and wishes. Because leaving the job she loved so much was so difficult, being able to do what she loves as part of this project has meant a great deal to her and she has loved every minute of it. “It doesn’t matter where you are from, what matters is what you do for people.”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

[gtspousegroup]

YU

This is Yu. She is from China. She mainly brought the traditional food from her home town in the Sichuan province with her to the United States. “Food is the flavor of your family or home town; you cannot buy it here. When you are homesick and you miss your home and family, the food from home will make you feel better.”

When Yu and her husband Haiyang decided to take the leap and leave their home country to move to Atlanta almost 2.5 years ago, Yu knew it would mean leaving her job as a financial consultant in China. More importantly, because she is not allowed to work in the United States, it would mean postponing her career altogether. A difficult decision, but one she wanted to make to support her husband’s dream. “At first, my husband struggled with this. You know, to ask a person to give up their dreams is not easy, but he believes that coming to the United States for his PhD studies will ultimately change the life of the whole family.” While Yu initially found it hard to adapt to life without a job, she realized that having this time off could actually be a good opportunity for her to realize her dream of starting a family. And so, in 2015, the couple welcomed their beautiful daughter Catherine into their lives. Yu admits that she never envisioned herself as a stay-at-home-mom, but that she is happy that she now has the time to focus on her daughter and her role as a mother, even it runs counter to what she was raised to believe about a woman’s place in the modern world. “From my childhood, I have been studying very hard to get a good job later on, but now I want to be a good mother first, so that I can focus on my job when I am able to work again.” She resents the often negative image of stay-at-home-moms and believes there should be more support and understanding for mothers willing to stay at home for their children. “Taking care of the kids is a job for both parents together and when a mother sacrifices herself and her career to do it, that should be paid. She still contributes her labor, time, energy and love; she is not a lazy woman, rather she is working all day and all night.” For Yu, raising her daughter so far away from her family and her home country can be a very difficult task at times and she wants her daughter to get to know both while their home is in the United States. “Now I miss my parents very much. I think that your parents are the only ones that, no matter where you are, what kind of person you have become or what your future is, they will support you and love you all the time.” She feels it is equally important to surround her daughter with both the customs and language of her home country, as well as those of her new one. Therefore, Yu often tells her daughter stories, not only the English children’s stories she has encountered in the United States, but also the traditional Chinese stories she grew up with. “Chinese and English stories have different ways of looking at the world, because they represent the different cultures and I want her to learn the difference between them.” Similarly, she has introduced elements of both cultures into their home and their lives, so that Catherine can enjoy the best of both worlds. Not only do they celebrate many of the traditional Chinese festivals, like the Spring Festival, they also take part in some American festivities, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. “Every Christmas Eve, we visit a church on Peachtree Street. It is very different for us, because in China, it is a big day for businesses and shopping! The stores give big discounts, etc. Here in the church it’s very quiet, both in the atmosphere, as well as in our minds. I really like it. And then the following day, of course we go shopping! (laughs)” Even though life in China is similar to life in the United States in a multitude of ways, Yu does admit that she prefers certain aspects of life in her new home over that in her homeland. For example: as opposed to China, where air pollution is a well-known problem, Yu enjoys the fresh air and the abundance of trees and nature found in the city of Atlanta. She has also grown very fond of the people in the South, who she describes as very friendly and helpful, but above all very respectful towards each other. She admits that she was pleasantly surprised the first time she heard people thanking their bus driver before getting off the bus. “In China nobody does this; they think that because they have paid for the service, they don’t need to thank them, but here everyone shows respect." More importantly, she admires the confidence of the American people and hopes to pass this on to her daughter Catherine. “Chinese girls are very shy. Sometimes we worry about making mistakes, or offending someone, but people in the United States are always very confident. When I teach Catherine, I will teach her to be confident and to just be herself, without worrying about what others are thinking.” What she loves most about her new home is the variety of cultures she has encountered there, allowing her to live vicariously through the international group of friends she has met there. She loves hearing her friends’ stories and little known facts about their home countries and excitedly shares her own stories about growing up in Chengdu, the home of the giant panda, with them. “I like the different cultures here; it is very fresh and exciting for me. A person doesn’t always have a lot of chance to visit many different countries, but when you talk to people from different countries, it is like you have visited these places.” She feels inspired by her friends in the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group; not only by how they overcome certain struggles and worries linked to moving to another country, but also by the way they come together to lean on each other during bad times and celebrate together during good times. Still, while Yu has come to feel at home in the United States, it will never be able to take the place of her home country. To remind her of her home and feel closer to her family, she has brought a little Buddha statue with her. “My grandmother talks to the Buddha every day, to protect her relatives and bring them luck. So I have brought the statue with me for luck and protection for my loved ones as well!”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

[gtspousegroup]

ELLY

This is Elly. She is Iranian-Singaporean. She jokes that moving to the United States has been a childhood dream, ever since she visited Disney World when she was 8 years old.

Elly is a true global citizen: not only well versed in the art of travel, but especially in the art of adapting to a different country and its culture. Originally from Iran, she grew up and attended international schools in Singapore, after which she left her home to fulfill part of her law degree in London. As a result, after accompanying her husband Abouzar to her new home in the city of Atlanta 1 year ago, adapting to yet another culture was not as challenging for her as it might be for others. “I would say it was an easy transition, because I had lived abroad before. My family and I had also already traveled in the United States, so I was already familiar with where to buy things and where to do things, so it wasn’t that bad… and thank God for Google! (laughs)” Elly claims that the fact that she is a third culture kid was actually the main reason she wanted to move to the United States; a place characterized by the cultural diversity of its population and its acceptance of people from all cultures, countries, races and religions. “I’m not from anywhere, but I am also from everywhere and it is very nice to know that the American people will accept you as one of them. Because you can be American and still be from anywhere in the world.” The combination of being raised in a traditional Iranian family and her childhood in Singaporean society has resulted in the feeling that she is neither fully Iranian, nor fully Singaporean. Similarly, in Atlanta, her home life is neither completely one, nor the other. Rather, it is an inclusive mix of traditions, cultures, beliefs and influences. “When you come to my house, you will still see a lot of Iranian elements, like my Persian carpets, but I also have some Western elements in my house… so when people come over, they can definitely see I have lived elsewhere and that this is not a traditional Iranian house.” Similarly, Elly and her husband not only uphold certain traditions of their home country, they have included various festivals and traditions from other cultures as well. “I love Singaporean and Western traditions, but also our Iranian ones. Now, I celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I also love the Iranian New Year called Nowruz, which means ‘a new day’ and I celebrate it full on, I love it! I do a lot of the different traditions and I think that’s the whole fun of it; more reason to be merry! (laughs)” An eclectic person by nature, Elly’s professional and personal interest are also varied. After graduating law school and working in the legal department of Singapore’s largest bank DBS, Elly left her career in law to pursue her passion: cooking and baking. Not only did she successfully start her her own catering business in Singapore, she also worked as a pastry chef in a restaurant to learn the ropes of the trade. If that was not enough, she also started a small business teaching and familiarizing young children with the English language, so they would be able to transition to English speaking schools. “I really liked it because I was doing something that I really loved…. And then we moved here and I went from a very busy lifestyle to no job! (laughs)” Now, even though she misses working, she concedes that she likes the fact that her current situation allows her the time to reflect on the past, but especially on what she wants to achieve next in her life. “I think I have changed… in some ways yes and in some ways no. I am still the same person when you talk to me, but inside, I have made some personal development. In the past year, I think I have tried to build myself: I am more calm and patient now.” As a true foodie, Elly made sure to bring a few typical Iranian ingredients with her to the United States, so that she would be able to continue cooking the traditional Iranian dishes she grew up with; among them the pomegranate molasses made by her husband’s parents in Iran. She tells us that, while she misses Singaporean food, the dish she misses most is her mother’s zereshk polo. “It is really sour, but it is so good! I make it exactly the same way, but it is just not the same as when my mom makes it, so I definitely miss that!” When Elly speaks of her mother, it immediately becomes clear that she is very important in Elly’s life. She tells us that leaving her family was the hardest part of moving, especially considering the difference in time zone, which makes it impossible to talk to her family without scheduling a mutually convenient time first. She tells us that, even though the relationship with her mother has changed since she moved to the United States, the love and closeness between them has not. “Missing my mom, that was hard at first, both for me and for her. In Iranian culture, we love our dads very much, but we worship our moms. We have a saying in Iran: heaven is underneath the feet of mothers. That is how important mothers are to us.” Without friends and family nearby, Elly feels that the relationship between her and her husband has become even stronger than before. She tells us that moving abroad has led to a special bond between them that no-one else can understand, because it is one that can only be shared between people who have lived through such an experience together. As a social butterfly, Elly wholeheartedly confirms the South’s reputation for being nice and she enjoys striking up random conversations with people she meets on the streets of Atlanta. “I really like the people here. It is nice to actually just randomly talk to somebody, anybody, as it might be the only conversation with someone else you will have all day. Talking to people definitely helps if you don’t have family here.” More importantly, she stresses the importance of finding friends as an important element of feeling at home in a new place. Although she often felt lonely when she first arrived in the United States, she feels she has made several meaningful friendships since then. “I am glad my friend Zeynab introduced me to the Georgia Tech International Spouse Group; it is really fun. Everyone is really friendly and it is a very nice and harmonious group. It’s nice to know that if something happens, at least I can call someone, you know. If shit comes down, there’ll be someone there! (laughs)”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

[gtspousegroup]

FRANCISCA

This is Francisca. She is from Chile. She has recently learned how to cook typical Chilean dishes. “I miss the food in Chile. I brought some with me, like my grandmother’s jam, for example. These make us feel a little bit closer to Chile.”

A lot has happened for Francisca in the past year; not only did she get married to her husband Felipe, she also gave up her job as an engineer in a mining consulting company in Chile so that she could follow him to the United States for his PhD. Excited about moving to a different country and looking forward to experiencing a new culture and learning new things, the decision to give up her job was an easy one to make. She tells us that her family and friends in Chile were very supportive of her decision. “All the people in Chile were happy because I would have a year to be relaxed without having to work. I think all the people want that there, because in Chile we work a lot!” While initially she didn’t really think about the implications for her career, during the past year she has realized that she is actually very interested in developing her profession. So, she decided to go back to school. After obtaining her GRE and TOEFL certificates, she is currently working to earn her master’s degree in industrial engineering at the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta; studies that she will be able to apply to her chosen career as a mining engineer when she goes back to Chile. Even though education is very expensive in the United States, Francisca considers it a good investment for her future. “What I paid for 6 years of university in Chile, I am now paying for just 1.5 years of study in the United States. Still, going back to school was the best option that I had here... I never imagined going back to school, but now here I am! (laughs)” Despite the fact that, in Francisca’s opinion, Chilean and North American culture bear a lot of similarities, she is often surprised by certain particularities of the United States. Something that really caught her attention was that there is still a big difference between the different ethnic groups in the United States. “I thought that wouldn’t be an issue here because they have an African American president, but there still is. This is very strange to me.” As opposed to her former home in Chile, where the streets are always brimming with people, she feels lonely walking on the empty sidewalks of Atlanta, where people seem to take the car for even the shortest distance. “It really surprised me that people don’t walk. Here, I don’t feel like I can walk by myself, because I don’t feel safe. That is one of the challenges of moving to another country: you miss the feeling of being comfortable. In Chile, you know when someone on the streets looks dangerous, but here you can’t even recognize if someone is. You have to learn everything again.” What she loves most about the United States is its multicultural society. Unlike Chile, Atlanta, like any true university town, is home to a diverse group of races and cultures from all over the globe, assimilated into a cohesive whole. As a member of the Georgia Tech International Spouse group, she has also gotten the opportunity to befriend people from many of these cultures. “I think that is amazing! Knowing people from other cultures makes you grow a lot. I don’t think it is hard to be part of an international group of friends. Sometimes, though, you can have some troubles, because you don’t do the same things or think about things in the same way... But if you understand and respect that you have grown up in different cultures with different points of views, it is not a problem.” Although moving abroad has been an amazing experience for Francisca, she knows she wants to move back to Chile eventually. “Last month I was on vacation in Chile and I went to the office where I used to work and I thought: if I had been here the past year, it would have been the same now as it was the previous 3 years… but during this year in Atlanta, I have learned a lot and have met people from different countries; so it is nice to be here. For a short time! (laughs).” She claims the main reason she wants to return home are her friends and family. “I miss my family and friends. Now that I am not living and working in Chile, I can’t help my family anymore… after all they have done for me. I’m also always worried something will happen to them and that I won’t be able to travel there in time… That has been very difficult for me. Also, a lot of my friends in Chile are getting married, having babies, etc. and I am not there. They are the reason I want to go back.”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja

[gtspousegroup]

GOWRI

This is Gowri. She is from India. In Atlanta, she has discovered trail walking and now she loves to hike the nature trails with her family: “the fun part is that my kids like it too!”

When Gowri invites us into her home on the day of the interview, it immediately becomes clear that her Indian culture and traditions are still a very important part of her family’s new life in the United States. At least twice every day, Gowri cooks the traditional meals of her home country for herself and her family and we as guests are also treated to some delicious home-made Indian snacks. We drink juice from traditional stainless steel glasses and enjoy a piece of home-made Handvo, a type of cake made from mixed lentils and rice with khatti-mithi chutney. According to Gowri, India still has a panoply of traditions and long-established customs. In recent years, however, the more educated urban communities in India have become more selective in which traditions they follow, only choosing to follow these traditions which are important to them personally. In the United States, Gowri and her family still celebrate the most important festivals, though not as elaborately as they would in India. She tells us that these are the moments she misses her country most: while everyone in India comes together to celebrate, Gowri and her family don’t have anyone to celebrate with in the United States. “There are a few festivals like Diwali and Holi that we do celebrate. Then, we make sure that we are together as a family. The essence of these festivals in our country is that the family comes together and thanks the Almighty for all that they have been given. That is exactly what I want to teach my children: we don’t do this because it is tradition, but because we want an excuse to thank our God for what we have been given. And they like it, apparently.” Like tradition, family is very important to Gowri and the welfare of her two children Sneha and Siddharth played a big part in her decision to come to the United States almost one year ago. Even though making the decision to leave her research job in India to follow her husband Ashish to the United States for his PhD was very hard, Gowri did not feel it would be right to separate her family from each other. She feels that, as a parent, you cannot put your children through pain just because you want to fulfill your dream. “It was a very dicey situation: should we all go to the United States as a family or should I stay behind in India with my kids, where I can continue with my career, but also have the support of my parents? It was a very hard decision, because moving here meant putting everything at stake. You have to put your career on hold… just put it in a box and close it, and then don’t think about it.” Her children are also the main reason Gowri has not applied to any study programs or jobs in the United States. She feels that moving to a different country and culture was difficult enough for them and so she decided she wanted to stay home to be with them when they are not in school. Nevertheless, by taking online courses through online education platforms such as Coursera, Gowri is able to keep herself up-to-date on the latest advances in various fields of technology. Although taking these courses will not earn her a degree, it allows her to utilize her free time in a constructive manner. “My husband is very supportive of me. Most of the time he pushes me; often, he will come and share his opinion about what he has studied and we discuss the technical issues one of us has come across that day.” She jokes that, while her children initially missed their life in India, watching the Rio 2016 Olympics has changed their views on their new home. “In the beginning, they were feeling very left out here. The different culture and the Southern accent made adapting to this new country very difficult. Of course, now, they are much more comfortable. Some time back, my father called and my son was proudly telling him about the Olympics: ‘you know, the Americans are winning all the medals!’ (laughs) This helped them change their mind about living in the United States.” Not only was moving abroad a big change for Gowri’s children, Gowri admits it was also a culture shock for her and her husband. From the famous Southern accent that Gowri and her family had trouble understanding, to arriving in a strange country where they did not know anything or anyone, Gowri met tons of challenges along the way. “First of all, I could not believe where we had landed! Why did we do this?! What went wrong with our mind that we made the decision and we landed here? (laughs)” Luckily, Gowri soon found that the people she met in Atlanta were very supportive and welcoming, and she couldn’t believe how helpful people were. Another pleasant surprise was the work ethic she observed in American people. She admires the dedication and passion they have for their job, whatever that job may be. “Even if someone is just cutting a lawn, they do it with passion! That is absolutely missing in our country. I just hope that it was available in some pocket, then I could collect it from them and give it to my people in India. (laughs)”. She tells us that while she only used to work half-heartedly in India, she will adopt this point of view and be more passionate about what she does when she goes back to work in her home country. Ultimately, she feels that moving abroad has been a positive experience, especially for her children. “I think this kind of exposure to a different culture helps them broaden their horizon and helps them think beyond a certain limit.”

Make up by Denise Batista, Writing by Tineke Van Varenberg, Conceived and Photographed by Sonal Sukheeja