Intrigued @guacamolexp - Tumblr Blog

Friday lunch break

3 more appointments until the weekend...

I am either working or studying. But when my mind goes numb, I end up doomscrolling and what should've been a 15 minutes break turns into several hours. I know I am too hard on myself. I should rest. I should be productive. I should spend time with my loved ones. I should cook and clean and do chores. I am finally doing what I've spent almost a decade of my life studying and training for, but I'm not happy. And I'm scared that this may be the rest of my life. I am struggling to appreciate the little things.

3 weeks in, 30 more years to go...

Weak-willed, feeble-minded. What is this all for again...

04/05/25

I am glad Tumblr isn't obsolete yet and I can return it from time to time. Three months away from finishing fellowship and I can feel the toll pursuing this profession has had on me mentally and physically. I am scared to finish training, but I am also tired and ready to be done. I shouldn't have waited so long to start taking care of myself and I feel like I'm just deteriorating...

I somewhat listened to my body today! I DoorDashed Japanese curry to ease my hunger and soul!

"Instead of thinking, 'I should have it figured out by now,' reframe it as, 'This is what figuring it out feels like.'"

I love that so much. This is what figuring it out feels like.

06/06/23

It’s interesting when people currently in your life start to remind you of people you left behind (or maybe more accurately, people who left you behind). And then your mind starts to spiral down this rabbit hole of memories and emotions you thought you had gotten over. And you feel the urge to write a tumblr post, wondering who the intended audience is supposed to be. Ah, the usual mental meandering that happens when I am working nights. Proximity, time, effort...there is so much that goes into a friendship, a relationship, a link between two people, and you wonder what went wrong. Did you stop trying or did they? Should I have cleared up the misunderstanding...what misunderstanding...there wasn’t a misunderstanding, just some dumb excuse because they were weak. Because if they cared, they would have given you a chance to explain if they really thought there was a misunderstanding. Deep down, there was no misunderstanding. Such a fragile bond. Even after all these years, it’s still unsettling when you cross my mind. How are you? I hope you are doing well. I’m graduating residency. I figured out what I want to do with my life. I’m getting married. Would you care to know how I am doing? And then life moves on.

Download/stream 'Here's Your Perfect (with salem ilese): https://JamieMiller.lnk.to/HYPwithSalemIDDownload/stream 'Here's Your Perfect': https://JamieMiller....

I can’t believe I got here through K-Pop idol Henry Lau’s IG that randomly popped up on my feed, but here we are...

Stream “Forget I Exist” now:distrokid.com/hyperfollow/sammacpherson/forget-i-existFollow MeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/samaugustmac/TikTok: https://...

happyhill-photograph

波止場

#rhyslewis #Alone Alone by Rhys Lewis lyrics

2/4/22

I keep wanting to delete old posts on my Tumblr and start anew, but I’m also holding onto these posts because they’re nostalgic. Should I just start another one!? What to do...just throwing this out in the void. I can’t believe I’m still on Tumblr. HA!

12/11/21

It’s almost 2 PM. I’m in bed with my laptop. Just appreciating the stillness of my Saturday afternoon, how my room is bathed in the perfect amount of sunlight from my window. My first load of laundry is done. I still have 4 notes to write from yesterday that I put off in order to go drinking with my residency buddies last night. I’ll get to it. Thank god I don’t have a hangover. I forgot how wonderful it is to have a golden weekend. To do nothing and panic about everything and just be.

happyhill-photograph

藤の花

05/06/21

I had my second resident feedback session today and ended up tearing up. Again. It’s that ever-present feeling that you don’t think you can do it. And while you know it’s only scary because you haven’t done it yet, it doesn’t change the fact that it still needs to be done. The issue is you haven’t done it. But you will.

And I think that’s enough.

04/04/21

I’ve let my want of perfection get in the way of doing good and it’s been a barrier to me moving forward in my career. I keep waiting for the right time when there is no right time. I just need to confront my responsibilities and act based on what I know and learn from the experience.

While I am where I’ve always dreamed to be years ago, it’s hard to feel satisfied when you feel behind in comparison to everyone else. I also can’t help but think about what I’ve lost in the process. Maybe that is a part of growing up, but that answer leaves me empty.

Ah, there’s too much time for me to think on night float, but it felt nice to type instead of write. Thoughts sound more fleshed out when I can backspace and add in lines. Back to learning about asthma.

xanny

We used to have to take pictures with like. a camera. and then connect it to a computer with a usb to transfer them. to upload to photobucket . im literally shaking