𝑔𝑜𝓁𝒹, 𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎

[gvrraty-blog]

kxndcll‌:

    kendall squirms on the couch with nate’s entrance, tucking legs up underneath him and half turning to face his ex-boyfriend-roommate-and-duo-partner. he eyes the coffees in hand with an arched brow, a scrutinizing look which blooms into a smile when he recognizes the markings on the side of the cup indicating his very specific drink of choice. once nate’s sitting too, kendall slides in closer, his folded knees nearly falling into nate’s lap. “ you mean you don’t want a mapped out itinerary of all the things we haven’t been saying over the past week? ” kendall aims for playful and actually succeeds; his tension is lightened by the gift of his coffee like its some kind of olive branch. he’s already highly caffeinated but that doesn’t mean his frilly, foamy latte isn’t exactly what he needs right now. “ i’ve got a song, ” kendall clarifies with a twinge of nervousness to his voice, “ or the start of one anyways. i’ve been – i mean, obviously i’ve been working on it? and if you totally hate it, i promise i won’t be offended. ” he taps his fingers against the page before sliding it over into nate’s hand with a shaky grip. once both his own hands are free he’s pitching forward to scoop up the coffee, needing its distraction. his eyes stay locked on nate’s profile, wanting to catch every flicker of a reaction to reading over the lyrics ( while simultaneously dreading what he’s going to see, especially as nate gets down to the lines about wanting to be taken care of in the bedroom ).

     he lets kendall scoot in close without a word, dropping his arm across the back of the sofa behind him--not around him, not yet, not now--but it’s there, the same way kendall’s legs have almost-but-not-quite fallen into his lap. right now, that’s all they need--something to bridge the gap. with kendall’s teasing question comes a sense of relief so strong nate feels it all the way down to his bones; he knows in his gut that they can get through anything, yet what had gone down at the club had been decidedly different than anything they’ve dealt with before, and it’s only now that nate realizes exactly how much tension has been building up. how worried he’d been in some deep place inside himself that they’d really fucked up this time. “you know, as much as i really would love to see that mapped-out itinerary you probably do have stashed away somewhere in your room, i’m gonna pass.” the grin falls, though, when kendall passes the notebook over with hands that nate can feel trembling slightly. this more than anything else tells him there’s going to be something in these lyrics that’s hard to read. “i wish you wouldn’t preface things like that,” he says with a small frown creasing his forehead. “you don’t do anything worth hating.” the fact that kendall’s acting so soft and nervous riddles nate a mingled sense of guilt and a desire to do whatever he can to help, and because he knows from plenty of experience that it’s often touch which can get through to him better than words, he moves his arm from the back of the sofa to around kendall’s small waist. he only realizes this was perhaps not the best idea when he actually starts reading the lyrics, because the proximity suddenly becomes suggestive; he knows intuitively that kendall is likely writing about him, and some of that is due to his anxiety about sharing it, but maybe that’s not so surprising. deny u had, after all, been just as obvious. “six feet tall and super strong,” he says when he’s read it through twice, turning to look at kendall with a teasing grin. “that’s your perfect guy, is it?” he squeezes kendall’s hip where he knows he’s ticklish. “no, it’s perfect, kenny, this is our next single. totally on-brand. we needed a bop, this is gonna be a bop.”

[gvrraty-blog]

celestedxsche:

          with those words, celeste could not help herself but to smirk at him. hearing that makes her feel like somehow, there will always be some people who will genuinely worry about her when her escapist self takes over. deep down, she knew she should have told him about her little plans of escaping reality and this life. “so, you’re indirectly telling me that you really missed me?” she asked, looking and sounding more childish than ever. “sleeping during any flight is actually not a talent of mine, and i hate myself for that.” she told him with a laugh, then grabbed herself a bottle of beer as he assured that he was actually not mad at her for disappearing– probably, because this was not the very first time celeste did such thing, and he got used to her tendencies. “ooh! someone’s working hard for their first EP and honestly, i’m quite excited to hear it and blast it at the most ungodly hours until my neighbors hate me. when is it’s official release again?” she laughed once more, lifting the opened bottle of beer to her lips. “well, i went to london just for the hell of it. met with some old friends there and cousins, even hid myself from the paps and i can say that i did a pretty good job since there wasn’t anything about me on social media.” 

     he nudges her shoulder playfully with his own, and at least for the moment, his heart is light. it’s a feeling he clings to, because lately that’s been hard to find. “i am directly telling you i missed you, actually. no speculation necessary.” which is, in general, the way he operates, especially around somebody he trusts. if there’s anything at all--even one good thing--that came out of his terrible home life as a kid, he thinks it’s the fact that he was forced to learn to appreciate the luxury of being allowed to tell the people you care about the bald-faced truth. “oh my god, please, we don’t even have our second single out,” he laughs, waving the question away with a small shake of his head. “but we are working on it, and that feels good as hell.” mostly. mostly good as hell. “you’ll be the first to know when it drops.” his own beer nearly empty, he clinks the glass against hers and then finishes it off to start a new one. “london, huh? fuck, that sounds amazing, i love it there. only been once, but that was more than enough. you did a hell of a good job keeping yourself out of the media, though. don’t know how, but kudos. i ever start having real problems, i’ll come to you for pointers. my stealth queen.”

[kxndcll]

@gvrraty.

CLOSED.

    after seeing his hookup out, despite a restless and minimal sleep, kendall had spent the day following the afterparty album release at a little cafe, with his songwriting notepad laid out in front of him. it was partially to avoid nate – he always felt a little guilty bringing his business home plus things were awkward after parting ways at the party – but it was also partially because he was teeming with creative inspiration. whether that was from his lack of sleep, his surprising lack of a hangover, the steamy makeout or what, he didn’t know but whatever it was, kendall got an entire song out of it. he waited on it a few days, a week even, unsure as to whether or not nate would read too far into the lyrics. they were about him, kendall had decided the more he’d looked at the song. they were about nate but that didn’t mean he wanted him to know that. still, he felt like it could be what açaí needed next and so after way too many days of meaningless small talk, dancing around discussing anything that had transpired in any sort of depth, kendall sends nate a text asking him to meet in their living room. his notebook rests in his lap and he’s fidgeting terribly, though that may be the coffee running through his system. the more he glances over the scribbled lyrics, the more he realizes there are a few lines he still wants to work over with nate and, of course, there’s the whole title thing missing but, still. he’s been productive and he hopes nate actually likes it ( especially considering he inspired it and all ). kendall’s head snaps upwards at the sound of an opening door and he chances a smile in nate’s direction as he enters the room. “ sit with me? ” he trills, bypassing the small talk that had been their routine of late. 

[gvrraty-blog]

     even at the time--when he’d had his hands on as much of kendall as he could get to under the pulsing lights of that club--nate had been aware in some half-conscious part of his mind that they were setting themselves up for something both awkward and painful. they didn’t disappoint: the days following the album release were brutal. it was a whole song and dance of avoidance, strange, indecipherable looks from across the kitchen broken intermittently with a facade of forced casualness so obvious it made nate feel sick. the worst part was that he kept bouncing back and forth in his decision whether or not to bring it up, to try and make kendall talk because he couldn’t stand this anymore. it was an exhausting process, and an ongoing one, at that--because inevitably he always shrank back from actually making the decision. just as bad--maybe worse--was the separation. he thought he could have dealt with the unspoken tension if they’d at least been talking, been spending time together, but they didn’t even have that. so when, after more than a few days of this near-torture, he gets a text from kendall asking to meet in their living room, he feels simultaneously relieved and foreboding. he’s out at the time with friends--mostly because he wants to see them, but also because he’s been trying to stay out of the apartment as much as he can during the day--and stops to get starbucks before he returns home. he struggles over whether to grab kendall’s drink and in the end decides he can’t not. it’s possible kendall already has his own coffee, but it still feels wrong not to. he’s already there when nate gets home, sitting on the sofa in their living room with a notepad in his lap, and suddenly nate understands what this is about. and although he knows inherently it’ll mean talking, he realizes he’s okay with that. ready for it, even. setting the coffees down on the table, he takes a seat beside kendall and offers up a cheeky grin that is blissfully natural. “either you’ve written a song you’re happy with,” he says, nodding at the notebook, “or you’ve made up a whole list of things we need to talk about. hoping it’s the former, because we really need another hit.”

[gvrraty-blog]

celestedxsche:

          the thing is, celeste felt bad for going away unnoticed. he probably had those times that all he could ever need was celeste’s company, but she’s so out of reach that it can make anyone think that she really went away. if she was his in shoes, this is definitely not the kind of welcome that she’d give into herself for just disappearing out of nowhere. anyway, that did not stop her from smiling at the way he greeted her. “a week ago, really? i just got the message earlier along with the fact that my business is a same-day delivery kind of thing.” she joked, grinning childishly as she follows the male to his coffee table. she then joins him comfortably chilling on his couch, just like they always do. “actually, it was real bad. i couldn’t really sleep even though i was hella tired, but as soon as i got here, i realized maybe i need some alcohol and someone’s company to lessen my little dilemma– anyway, how are you? i’m sorry i just disappeared out of a sudden.”

     “i mean, it felt like a week, let’s put it that way,” he says, teasing and yet perfectly honest. it had felt like quite some time. but then, it’s bound to, isn’t it? writing music is therapeutic, of course, but there’s something about sharing his shit with a real person that’s just different. “flights are, like, a total toss-up for me. usually i have no problem sleeping the whole time if i’m exhausted, but there’s always that random day thrown in where i can’t even keep my eyes closed. you’ll sleep tonight as long as we get enough beer in you.” he lifts the bottle to his mouth, thinking about how lately, things had...switched. a good night’s sleep had slowly been asserting itself as the exception to the rule rather than the other way around. “hey, don’t worry about it, we all got shit to do, right? i’ve been...y’know, pretty good.” he feels the urge to amend the statement, make himself sound more grateful, maybe, because some part of him is wracked with guilt over the idea of complaining when he’s had so much fortune lately. it’s harder to do around celeste, though. much harder. “we’re compiling our first EP, i mean, i gotta be good, right?” he shakes his head, taking another sip. “that’s a work-in-progress, though. how about you tell me about your spontaneous little trip.”

[gvrraty-blog]

kaiilanis:

kailani could tell that nate was flustered about running into her. which she didn’t completely understand. she understood why it was a little awkward but to her, it was nowhere near as awkward as nate was making it. they had sex once one night and that was it. there was no emotion or anything behind it, just a one time thing that wasn’t that big of a deal. to kailani, at least. her feet did a little dance to step around the coffee and make sure her shoes weren’t in the puddle before saying, “i’m sure it happens all the time.” she gave the worker with a mop an apologetic smile and mouthed ‘thank you’ to the barista who made her the new cup of coffee. “yeah, the last time we saw each other the circumstances were different,” she said with a light chuckle. “but i’ve been good, how about you?”

     the initial surprise of seeing her having worn off and faced as he is with kailani’s stoically calm demeanor, nate feels his own sense of equilibrium finally returning. he’s still exhausted--almost painfully so, though he notes this in a distant way he refuses to call avoidance--but the threat of doing or saying anything stupid is less imminent. with that slow shift comes some of his more natural composure, and even a sense of his innate self-confidence. “different, yeah,” he grins sardonically, words carrying a note of self-deprecation somewhere within them. “vaguely. definitely less people, as i recall.” he nods in the direction of the fifteen or so other customers standing in line, some of which are doing a terrible job hiding the starstruck looks on their faces. “i’ve been, uh...i mean, good, really good, i’ve got my first single on the radio, how can i not be? just, like...tired, y’know? but that comes with the territory, i guess. you’d know even better than i would.” 

[minncri]

          the first thing that came into celeste’s mind as soon as she landed back to this city is to immediately drive to nate’s place. who knows what they could do together in a small room? the list of possibilities are endless, but she’s quite sure that they’re going to get their asses drunk and emotional at some point. she grabbed her keys, some beer she had on her fridge, then went her way to his place that she memorized like the back of her hand. arriving fifteen minutes after, the brunette hopped off her car and just ran to his door, carrying the alcohol beverages. “special delivery for a guy named nate, from a girl named celeste!” @gvrraty

[gvrraty-blog]

     emotionally strenuous as things have been lately, celeste having been out of town has only contributed to the cloying feeling of emotional buildup tainting almost everything in nate’s life at the moment. usually he has the luxury of handing off half his baggage into her trustworthy hands, and without that outlet, he’s been left feeling antsy. he knows she’s coming back tonight, yet he doesn’t expect to see her until at least tomorrow--he’s surprised but pleased, therefore, when she tells him she wants to drink. “whoa, finally!” he laughs when he opens the door, taking the beer and pulling her into a one-armed hug around her waist. he presses a kiss to her cheek and ushers her inside, “i ordered this, like, a week ago. same-day delivery my ass.” he drops the alcohol onto the coffee table in the living room and pulls two out--using a third to pop the caps off--and hands one over to her. “so,” he falls back onto the couch and lifts two socked feet onto the table, flashing her a toothy grin, “flight must not’ve been bad if you were ready to race over here to get drunk with me.”

[gvrraty-blog]

vainglvry:

“is that what they’re saying about the release party?“ a wide smile graced her face, “if you think that was big, just wait until our next album drops–”

she stopped herself in the middle of the sentence. it felt wrong to be speaking about the future. after all, hadn’t the album only just gotten off the ground? it had only been a few days ago that she had been basking in the glow of the newly-released music, that an entire room full of people had toasted to the success of it, that she had had, as nate had so kindly put it, the time of her life. 

but, if that last thing were true, why was she so ready to talk about the future, to move on from what had been an objective success? why did her stomach twist when she thought of how the night had went? 

looking down, she noticed that she had had inadvertently balled her hands into fists. her knuckles had turned white. she unclenched them, before affixing a cheeky smile onto her face. 

“i did have some fun, didn’t I?“ she grinned, before attempting to change the focus of the conversation back to him, “did you? i honestly tried my best to see as many people as possible, make sure they had a good time. but you know me–  i got caught up in all the festivities. on a night like that, you owe it to yourself to celebrate.“

     “they’re saying a lot of things about the release party,” nate says, watching her for any signs, any tells, that she’s not being entirely truthful. he’s always been decent enough at reading the subtle variations in a person’s body language and emotional temperature--which perhaps stems from the profusion of empathy inside of him--but actually doing something about it when he picks up on something is another mountain altogether. “

     he can see the the paleness of his knuckles and the way her nails must be biting into her palm, fingers tucked into a fist that, if he’s not mistaken, isn’t even a conscious gesture. his concern for her mounts another degree, but still he doesn’t quite know what to do about it.

     “i’d hope so, considering it was your party,” he jokes, and though he catches onto the way she deflects the attention on to his own experience there, he’s not quite sure how to turn it back around without making it obvious. he thinks back to the party in colorful snapshots of flashing lights, a press of bodies, the taste of too much liquor. “no, don’t worry about it, i had a great time,” he waves the sentiment aside, “you definitely owe it to yourself to celebrate. just, you know...you also owe it to yourself to make sure you recover from celebrating.” he hates the way it sounds once it’s already out of his mouth, yet he knows simultaneously that if he doesn’t satisfy his growing concern for mimi, he’ll feel even worse later. “contrary to popular speculation, i don’t think you’re actually invincible.”

[gvrraty-blog]

you can go back in time and change one thing about your career. what is it?

     “nothing. definitely nothing. i’m so beyond grateful for the success we’ve been having with açaí and i genuinely don’t believe we could have gotten to this point if things hadn’t happened exactly as they happened, the good and the bad. kendall and i have been through literally everything a friendship can go through, and having had to fight for it is an integral part of the music we make. i think if i changed anything, it would change everything, y’know?” ( @kxndcll )

[gvrraty-blog]

fmk the first 3 people on the dash

     “i’d fuck bella, she’s bangin’. out of these three, i’d have to marry pixie. i know we can, you know, coexist. wouldn’t want to kill georgia, but she did put in her two cents on twitter while my exes were having a catfight, so for that she can go.” ( @bcllahqs @pixiieisms @georgialanes​ )

[gvrraty-blog]

pineapple on pizza: yay or nay

     “hard yes. everything on pizza. except olives. never olives on or in or around anything i’m eating.”

[gvrraty-blog]

would you ever throw anyone else under the bus to save your reputation or the reputation of someone very close to you?

     “i mean, my first instinct is definitely no, but i say that with a grain of salt because people are different under stress. it would depend what about my reputation was at stake, i guess? and it would depend who was being thrown under the bus, too. i’d be more likely to do it for somebody close to me than for myself, and again, it would depend a lot on the situation and who it was. in general, i don’t think anything achieved at someone else’s expense would satisfy me.”

[gvrraty-blog]

when are you and kendall getting back together?

     “we’ll be together tonight when both of us get home, probably watching spongebob and drinking wine.” ( @kxndcll )

[gvrraty-blog]

favorite berry... (and it can't be kendallskjdfhsdkjfh)

     “kendall is my favorite berry, that’s a given. but after him it’s gotta be the açaí berry–good bowls, good vodka, good music. we love a triple threat.” ( @kxndcll )

[gvrraty-blog]

who could you see yourself with, in a romantic sense?

     “yikes, i dunno. dating within the industry is kind of an…ehhhh thing for me. there’s a hell of a lot of trust that has to go into it, and it isn’t that i don’t trust people, it’s just that it takes time to build that kind of trust, and things tend to move fast around here. it would have to be someone i vibe with really well.”

[gvrraty-blog]

how do you define happiness?

     “contentedness, definitely. that feeling of knowing you’re doing exactly what you need to be doing and doing it to the best of your ability. getting shit done, you know? i like being busy and feeling like i’m moving forward. if i can look around and be content with where my life is, and if i have people i love to share it with, that’s happiness for me.”

[gvrraty-blog]

[ihatebbcsherlock]