when it came to loving, you were equally greedy. you could only hope it wouldn't backfire.
love line | fye | all night parking
the playlist
wc.20.4k (um..) | jeonghan x gn afab gose pd!reader, smut, fluff, hurt/comfort, like lots of crying oops, canon compliant, scandal, stalking, general misogyny yk how it is, mentions of abuse, jeonghan is a sweet baby angel tho dw, eating, drinking, swearing like sailors on this one lads, caratdeul i am sorry for the way this is gonna hurt your feelings but i don't wanna spoil how it's gonna happen but just know when it happens that i'm sorry, ok time for the non trigger tags lol, arguing as flirting, conversations while making out, the TEASING, jeonghan likes being choked we all know it stop pretending it's not true, tender sweet manic lovemaking, a whisper of posessiveness, be like jeonghan everyone use condoms, domesticity, we are 3/3 calling him a prick, they say i love you during 🤢, this one feels like fanservice
this is a work of fiction. i depict some pretty serious realities of dating a public figure, but any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental, and the names used are meant to be treated as fictional characters. this is not a commentary. this is just a story i wanted to write. i am not condoning the serious behaviours i depict in this story, nor am i attempting to make light of a scary situation real people have found themselves in. this is always the case, but it felt especially appropriate to include this before this, since i'm primarily a humor based blog.
adele released 30 and all night parking has been making me think a lot about running my fingers through jeonghan's purple hair, so i guess i wrote this whole thing lol. please give jeonghan and gose pd a buddy cop movie where they bully each other and also have sex sometimes. also sorry about the mc's new pet name i had a dream that jeonghan called me that bc it sounds like doki and i still haven't recovered.
~
pa - kang wonjae: maybe we could meet up for drinks?
you: i'm flattered, but it would be completely inappropriate as your higher up.
"whosat?" jeonghan asked, peeking over your shoulder as you both laid across the couch. his hand had found its way under your shirt long ago, fingers against the skin of your stomach as more of a comfort than an attempt. you let out a light laugh when his nose nudged against your ear impatiently, prompting you to respond.
"production assistant. tall guy, wonjae. he brought you headphones for tribal games."
he made a noise of recognition, remembering the shoot that had happened earlier that week, fingers brushing lightly against your hip before he pulled his hand away to run through his hair. "that guy? he's not your type."
you exhaled again, a smile on your face as you rolled your eyes briefly and put your phone down to refocus on the tv. "why, because he's not you?"
"no, no, no-" you laughed at his signature denial, grabbing his waving hand out of the air and lacing your fingers in his to pull it close to your chest, snuggling back against him. "he's just not your type. the wrong build. and wrong hair color. and face. you like skinny guys with dyed hair and small faces."
"so," you pondered. "he's not my type because he's not you."
jeonghan adjusted behind you, repeating a no, lips pushing briefly against your shoulder before he settled to take a nap as you watched television. "your words, not mine."
you laughed, and the exhale of breath on your neck let you know that he laughed, too. it was already september, the year flying past at a rate you couldn't have predicted. with the new season in the new year, you got bumped up in the docket, third in command after your trusted leaders, hyunseok and eunsong. you were even given the opportunity to take the lead on a few episodes that you had suggested ideas for. and as the projects got bigger and more complex, your team only grew with your responsibilities, and you found yourself in charge of quite a few production assistants in the most recent months.
you had moved, even. you had been planning to for a while, but you decided the convenience of living closer to work was unpassable now, especially since closer to work meant closer to someone. it was a nice place, too - an underground garage where jeonghan often wished you a goodnight, a bathroom with a tub that was much needed with how much he got on your nerves. it was in a busier part of the city, which always made you nervous, but he helped make it feel like a home. checking in on you. staying over.
jeonghan had announced you to the company early, and he followed their rules - kept his hands off you in professional settings and did his best to not get caught making googly eyes at you all day - aside from occasionally catching you alone somewhere on shoot days and stealing the opportunity to tell you he liked you all bossy. you always rolled your eyes, pushing him away from you before someone walked by, but the crooked smile he gave you always made your heart palpitate slightly. he wouldn't let you ever forget that as soon as you were both clocked out, he was going to have every amount of you he could get.
"if you really loved me, you would come."
you gave him an exasperated sigh, putting a chaste kiss on his smirk. you were stood outside of the performance facility, the november night cold but full of electricity, and not just because jeonghan had practically jumped you as soon as he exited the building. everyone leaving was buzzing with energy after a successful show, even if there was a bittersweet feeling of missing out on yet another in person performance. you waved at a few, dino and vernon wishing you a good night with laughter on their lips as you tried to pry jeonghan off you. it had been over a year since he had convinced you to get your first meal together, and even after all this time, he still had to fight you to go anywhere with him.
"you just had a concert, aren't you too tired to deal with me right now?"
"never," he argued, his hands clasping around the undone zipper of your jacket to keep you close to him even as you tried to pull away, intending to walk towards the street to wait for a cab. "c'mon, just a couple drinks."
you chewed on your lip, contemplating the pros and cons as you watched him study your face in the dim glow of street lights that were barely too far away, slowly closing the distance between you. you did love spending time with him, and it had been a while since you got to drink with seungcheol, and with the both of them there, you could easily pass as staff, but anxiety still tugged you back. "what if someone recognizes you guys?"
his eyes shot up to think briefly, and when his smile settled on you, you were able to see the way his eyes were beginning to gracefully wrinkle, a signifier of how often he laughed. every day you studied his face, and every day he aged into an even more handsome man. and yet, you had just watched from behind the cameras as he jumped around on stage with his members, only to still have the energy to drive you insane afterwards. "you're… one of our managers. celebrating the concert with us."
"yeah?" you asked when he leaned into you again, your chest pressed against his, and you pulled your head back slightly, playing keep away with the lips he was chasing. "you act like this with all your managers?"
he smiled, and his hooded eyes ran down your face to your mouth as the distance closed. "nah, just this one."
jeonghan's lips parted against yours, and you instinctively raised your hands to his shoulders as he expertly played your heartstrings, the sweet melody of his composition escaping your throat as his cold fingers found warmth within your jacket, dragging across your waist and pulling your spine towards him. you chuckled against him briefly, before pushing gently on his shoulder. "i'll call a cab."
he pouted, eyes finally raising from your lips. "at least let us give you a ride."
"i'm sure seungcheol would love to be stuck in a car with us," you jested, and jeonghan's pout parted to let out an annoyed sigh. "especially when you're all worked up like this."
"endorphins, or whatever," he muttered, nudging your nose out of his way to place a kiss against your lips again. "can i come over tonight?"
you ran your tongue over your molars as you thought, almost giggling at the idea of seungcheol waiting somewhere, annoyed, for his distracted friend to show up so they could head out for drinks. you thought you owed it to him to get jeonghan moving as soon as possible, and decided to secede. "sure. let me know when you guys are finishing up."
jeonghan grinned, his lips not even attempting to close before tugging you into a deep kiss. your fingers landed on his cheek, your thumb under his jaw on the opposite side, pushing him back slightly, and he nearly groaned. his eyes fluttered open, running over your face as it took everything in him to quell the urge building. he breathed at you, and you patiently waited for him to gather his thoughts. "hour and a half. two hours, tops."
you laughed, letting go of his face with a gentle push. "get out of here, then. tell seungcheol i'll see him next time."
he caught his lip between his own teeth as he backed up, shoving his hands into the pockets of his padded coat, watching you burrow back into yours. he looked as though he was glowing. "continue at yours?"
you stifled a grin, pulling out your phone to finally hail that cab. "if you can stay up."
he let out a breathy laugh, rolling his eyes and tugging the grey hood of his sweatshirt over his head as he started to turn away. "i'll see you later."
"bye, mr. yoon jeonghan."
his laugh was more vocal this time, and you smiled at how his eyes must have crinkled, even if you couldn't see them. as soon as you got into a taxi and started your journey home, you received a message from jeonghan, asking you to let him know when you made it to your apartment.
then, another.
pa - kang wonjae: hey, long time no see. you still working with seventeen?
you stared at the message for a long moment. kang wonjae had left the company a while back at this point - a month earlier? longer? after he messaged you the first time, you hadn't even thought about it for weeks, but here he was, still barking up the wrong tree. you wondered if perhaps he was looking for a job reference, though it seemed unlikely this late on a sunday.
you: hello! i am, yes. just got off work, actually.
pa - kang wonjae: i saw they had a concert you worked hard today ㅎㅎ
you: didn't take you for the idol viewing type ㅋㅋ
pa - kang wonjae: ah no no i just saw the schedule a few days ago. have to keep up with my ex-employers yk. they're popular ㅋㅋㅋ
you: they do well! was there something you needed?
pa - kang wonjae: that drink i asked for a while back?
a sigh escaped you. what a shame.
you: i'm flattered, wonjae, but i've actually been in a relationship for quite some time now. you: you seem very kind, but i'm happy where i am. good luck out there [hwaiting sticker]
pa - kang wonjae: it's that member right?
your fingers froze, unable to move as a searing, anxious sweat made its way up your chest. while jeonghan's management and your production company was aware of your relationship, you still kept it under wraps around the majority of your coworkers. hyunseok knew, of course. and eunsong, and the members and his managers, but most of your production team only knew that he often came over to chat with you and the other producers between set changes. but then, many of the members found the three of you during shoots - it had become the norm, and jeonghan had always been notorious for asking quiet and specific questions, searching for loopholes in rules. seventeen had a relationship with the producers of going, and they referenced it on screen more often than not, so there was no reason to pick any one of the members out from any of the others. he never even touched you at work, how could this production assistant have figured it out?
you: sorry, what?
pa - kang wonjae: the blonde one.
suddenly, you felt the moisture under your arms, your nerves beginning to peak. you were pretty sure jeonghan hadn't been the only blonde one when wonjae left, but the detail made you nervous.
pa - kang wonjae: or grey, now. hard to tell
and there it was. the confirmation that this random man that was seemingly beyond interested in you had somehow cracked your carefully crafted code. your eyes swam around the back of the taxi as you tried to gather any memories that might have tipped it off, then realized that if he knew jeonghan had grey hair, he must have been paying attention to the concert more than he let on.
you: you mean a member of seventeen? don't be ridiculous. you: i just work with them, wonjae. besides, i don't owe you the name of my partner. i suggest leaving me alone.
pa - kang wonjae: sorry i didn't mean to startle you. i was just curious lol. you two seemed close. but i'll leave you alone anyways pa - kang wonjae: whoever your partner is, i hope they know how lucky they are [smile sticker]
you were almost more shocked by his understanding response than you had been with the rest of the conversation, and after staring at the message for a long moment, you were jostled out of your thoughts by the taxi driver alerting you of your arrival. you gathered your bag and quickly paid before rushing off to your apartment building, deciding that maybe you had been overthinking the whole affair as you punched in the door code.
when jeonghan arrived at your door later that night, you barely had a chance to greet him before he descended upon you, backing you up against the wall of your entry way as he wrestled his jacket off his shoulders. you giggled against him, but let him convince your lips apart with the faint taste of beer on his tongue as your fingers tangled in his newly grey hair, his hood falling back off his head. the thought of wonjae flickered in your brain - a vague idea to bring the possible problem up with him, or at least let him know about the conversation you had - before jeonghan pushed his hands up your shirt impatiently and trailed his way down the vein on your neck.
"jesus, han," you said, chest fluttering, a hot breath leaving you on an exhale and hitting the shell of his ear. "how do you always have so much energy?"
"naps," he said shortly, making you giggle as his lips found yours again, the two of you unable to stop yourselves from smiling against each other. "i'm pent up. how long has it been since i got you alone?"
"week and a half," you sighed, fingers raking through his hair.
he kissed you again, smiling vaguely at the memory. "gym."
"sauna," you specified. "against my better judgement."
his short nails dug into your waist. "but you just looked so-"
"shut up," you huffed, fingers gripping the collar of his sweatshirt. "please take this off."
he grinned, backing up to pull the grey sweatshirt over his head. it landed on the floor, not far from his jacket, as he pressed you against the wall again. "i'm sleeping over more. we've been too busy for me to not spend every free second i have with you."
"you're still too busy," you reminded him, an implication of his two upcoming concerts, tour announcement, and the award show season. he almost rolled his eyes before you caught his cheeks in your hands. "make it count."
he grinned, letting you pull his face into yours as his hands found your hips, tugging you against the less than subtle bulge in the front of his sweats. you let out a noise, somewhere between a surprised whine and a gasp, giving him the perfect opportunity to push his knee between yours, effectively pinning you to the wall.
you panted at the way his thigh pressed against you, and his hand ran down your hip gently pull your knee towards his hip, opening you up to better teasing. when your jaw dropped slightly, he brought a hand up to hold you just under your ear, massaging his tongue against yours with a slow, sensual fluidity that had you practically rolling against him. your fingers grasped helplessly against the front of his shirt as you melted into the wall, trying to keep him from pulling away too abruptly like he had been well known to do.
he exhaled, lips barely pulling from yours as he gathered himself. "if i hadn't just been running for three hours straight, i would fuck you right here."
you giggled, letting him pull you towards your couch. "are you even gonna be able to stay up?"
his tongue was at the corner of his smiling mouth, droopy eyes admiring you as you draped yourself over him. "my legs are tired, not me."
you pursed your lips at him. "not what i meant."
his laugh came as a harsh exhale, and he put his lips at the base of your jaw as you sighed. "have i ever disappointed you before?"
"hate to admit it," you mumbled, eyes fluttering shut at the gentle touch of his mouth drifting over your pulse. "but no."
his kisses were gentle as they made their way down your neck. "let's keep up the streak?"
but before he could push you down onto the couch, you spun and pushed him first, and he stared up at you, knees dropping to either side as he sat back, a confused stitch in his brow as you dropped your pants before him.
"your legs are tired," you said, kneeing over him, and his hands found your now only underwear clad behind as you settled on his lap. "mine are not."
his lips quirked upwards. "a show for a show?"
you rolled your eyes, lifting your shirt off your body from the hem, jeonghan's hands running towards your waist to caress the newly exposed skin before it was even fully available. his lips immediately found your collarbone, hands gripping your hips and pulling you flush against him as he bit down at the crook of your shoulder. you groaned, strangled almost, arms wrapped around his neck and shoulders, wishing you had thought to get his shirt off him before you had gotten too distracted.
"you and your stupid mouth," you muttered, and you kissed the remnants of a cocky smirk off his lips, his hand rubbing your thigh against his hip as he pushed his pelvis forward. you gasped, and he grinned up at you, eyes shining.
"you seem to like it," he teased, sitting up to chase your lips, and the way his fingers dug into the skin over your hip made your legs tingle. he was right, though. that stupid mouth of his had a way of making you do things you would normally never do, if the way it worked yours open didn't convince you so enthusiastically.
you put your hands around his jaw, cupping his face as your lips slowly withdrew from his. "i like a lot of things that are bad for me."
he smiled. "oh, i'm bad for you, then?"
"pretty sure," you teased, tugging the back of his shirt until he moved to grab it, and you pulled away just enough for him to remove the fabric and lean back with you against his chest again. "you have to be a detriment to some part of my health."
he rolled his hips once, making you breath out a moan over his face that left him with his jaw slack. a long, languid kiss, your arm around his shoulders and a hand on his cheek; one that begged for his motions to continue, and he found himself huffing against your clingy lips, frustrated with the excess of layers. "sanity, maybe," he practically growled.
"oh, definitely," you purred back, crashing into him again as he blindly searched for the pocket on his sweats, trying to retrieve his wallet. he managed to pull it out of his pocket, and you caught his hand, taking it from him and pulling yourself to your knees. he took the hint, lifting his hips up against where you hovered, off the couch enough to push down his sweats and underwear, and you easily found the condom he repeatedly had to replace in the back of his wallet. you bit your lip and whined at him when he tugged your hips back down, placing you against his length as you hurriedly tore open the condom and oriented it properly.
you lifted yourself again, and jeonghan's hand took over for you after you had placed the condom at his crown, your own fingers moving to pull your underwear aside as his worked the condom over his member.
his fingers found you first, your jaw dropping as he ran them through your slick folds, making sure you were properly prepared for him. he grinned up at you, instantly guiding himself to tease at your entrance, and you squirmed in his grasp.
"sit, baby," he muttered, and even just that was enough for you to instantly lower yourself onto him. your mouth shot open, and he took the opportunity to lap against your palate, catching you in a fluid kiss as you slowly sank over his attentive wood, his fingers guiding you the entire way. you moaned against him and his grip on you tightened, his own hips fighting the urge to buck up into you while you adjusted. it was his turn to catch his breath, hooded eyes drifting lazily from your lips to your pupils as you rolled your hips lightly. he had to swallow when your mouth quirked into a smirk, his vision suddenly swimming at the way your eyes darkened and your hands moved up his neck.
"definitely sanity," he finally agreed, and you giggled before rewarding his observation with deep kisses, your fingers wrapping around his throat. he groaned as you pulled your lips from him, his eyes fluttering open. "you're crazy."
"thanks," you replied, hips rolling strategically over his to pull him even closer, leaning forward into you to chase your lips, catching them desperately as you shared long, deep moans. his hands were restless against your skin, arching over your rear and tucking into your underwear as you rode him like you had something to prove, gripping at your waist and drifting up to your chest. yours, however, stayed wrapped around his neck, and even though your gentle squeezing came gradually, he quickly fell under the spell, his heels planting themselves on the floor and his back falling against the couch so he could pump himself up into you at a pace more suited for his needs. you moaned out against his lips, your grip tightening in shock for a long enough moment that jeonghan had to stop himself from throwing you down and absolutely ravaging you. he wouldn't forgive himself for missing out on the opportunity to watch you fuck yourself on him, especially when you had offered it so graciously.
and while you certainly enjoyed yourself, leaning back with his hands secure on your hips as you swirled them over him, you mostly focused on repeating the moves you knew he liked. the ones that made his eyebrows stitch together and his chest heave. made his hands try to slow your movement to keep him from losing himself too soon. made you want to get him even closer.
you rotated your hips, and you let out a prolonged whine, biting your lip and bringing a hand to his jaw before you kissed him. his reaction was exactly as unrestrained as you had been hoping, the moan dripping from his lips and his hips bucking up into you on their own accord. he tried to hold back after only one pump, but the way you felt, the noise you made, he succumbed to repeating the action once, twice… eight times, maybe, your voice shaky as your nails dug their way into the back of his neck, lips raw from the way he had sucked one between his teeth to get you to moan for him.
you pulled yourself off his lap, slowly, unsheathing him at a torturous pace. his lips were parted, staring up at you before you sank again, eliciting an explicit groan from the singer. and at the forefront of his mind, the only thought he could gather was that there was absolutely no one in the world that could do him like you did.
your continued motions had his grip tightening around you, and you pulled your lip between your teeth at the way he filled you out. he, again, fought with his desire, settling to only pull you down onto him harshly, a moan dropping out of your lips as he pushed as far into you as he could.
"fuck" you shuddered, rotating your hips to savor how deeply he hit you. his fingertips felt like worship, massaging into your skin as you kissed him, hands grasping desperately at his jaw.
"don't take this the wrong way," he panted out, the words practically lost between your whines and heavy breaths. "but i think i need to take over."
your sly smile made him bump up into you again, releasing a giggly moan, your fingers carding through his hair. "am i moving too slow for you, baby?"
he groaned against your lips. "you could be a little faster."
you hummed, your body repeatedly rolling over his, pumping him into you at an agonizing pace. "perfectionist."
his lip quirked. "workaholic."
you put a slow kiss on his lips, not even pulling away to say "prick."
he fully smiled that time, his hands caressing up your sides with adoration. "tease."
you backed up, hand running over his shoulders and down his chest as you leaned back, the angle change making jeonghan's jaw drop at the first stroke. "can't believe i fell for an idiot idol."
he caught his lip between his teeth, eyes creasing as he smiled at you, his hips meeting your motions. "at least i'm not a pretentious film major."
"you-" your hand went to his neck again, a threat to strangle that meant nothing but a promise to toy, and he stretched it out as you closed in on him, both letting out light groans as you taunted each other, your motions never stopping. "asshole."
his lips caught yours, slow and sensual, his hands gliding down your figure. when you pulled away, vision almost blurry, you barely focused on his curved lips as he said "bunny."
you exhaled, softened by the pet name he had broken you down with too many times before, in bed and not, and wondered how you had gotten so lucky to catch the attention of these beautiful eyes. "angel."
"you think so?" he asked, and you barely registered what he meant before he pushed you to the side, falling from his lap and tugging him out of you as your shoulder landed on the couch. you let out an ungraceful yelp, surprised, but quickly adjusted to find comfort on your back when he stood before you, clothes finally completely gone as he tugged your underwear off your legs and dove into your embrace.
he wasted no time pushing back into you, and you let out a high pitched squeal, his arm catching under your knee and a hand planted at the edge of the sofa to keep you locked beneath him. your mouth was gaping and he hadn't even started moving yet.
he hummed in appreciation, hooded gaze flickering over your face as he backed up slowly and pumped into you, and your hands attempted to hold onto any part of him for dear life as he steadily worked up to his usual brutal, needy pace. he adjusted the arm under your knee, putting his palm to the back of your thigh and pushing it towards your chest, and your other knee fell to the wayside, lolling over the edge of the sofa as he split you in half.
"jeonghan," you gasped out, your tone reading as a plea as your fingers tugged at the hair at the base of his skull.
his tongue shot out to wet his lips, and you moaned unintentionally. he smirked down at you. "yes, bunny?"
you could barely remember what your original thought had been. "kiss me," you begged, and his smirk deepened as his pace paused for only a moment, just long enough to swiftly adjust his hand from your thigh, allowing the limb to fall against his hip as his hold went to your jaw. your mouth opened in anticipation as he neared, and the breath the two of you shared as he resumed the crashing of his hips against the back of your thighs was hot enough to respark a doused ember. your skin buzzed - nerves on fire with how he could break you open so easily, how his gentle touch and expert ministrations had you trembling under his grasp in seconds. how his chest rolled against yours, how his lips felt as though they would never get enough of your moans. how his pelvis pushed against your sensitivity just enough to have your thighs shaking with expectation of what was nearing.
he let out a strangled noise, mouth pulling from yours as he huffed, his pumping slowing slightly. "fuck, you feel too good."
you hummed, squeezing gently and smiling at his surprised breathy laugh, but his eyes met yours and he started moving deeper. "you've already got me shaking," you admitted, lips tugging his as soon as they were done speaking.
you felt the smile on his lips. "i can tell."
"annoying," you huffed, and his laugh against you forced you to join him. "just make me cum."
he kissed you, carefully, tongue swiping against you just enough to have you wanting more. "don't i always?"
his hips were moving faster, and you let out a groan before rushing out, "god, yeah, you do." he practically growled against you, a hand shoveling under your hips to raise the angle slightly, giving him better control, better aim at deeper. you whined, but he swallowed it whole, his forehead slick against yours. your ankles hooked behind him, and he grunted, dropping a leg off the couch and tugging you closer to the edge. with one foot planted on the floor, a knee on the sofa, and your legs securely wrapped around him, he paused for just a second to admire the way you stared up at him. your lips parted, your body stuffed to the brim by him, a detail he knew because of the crease in your brow that only appeared when he was hilt deep.
"i love you," he muttered against your lips.
the crease in your brow softened, and he couldn't help the vague smile on his lips that appeared from your sustained eye contact. "i love you, too."
his eyes never left yours, not even as he sped up again, and you found yourself squirming and gasping, trying to maintain the same look as you felt the unmistakable approach. "you're so easy," he teased, his lips in a tender curve as you tightened around him.
you whined, the friction building in your loins making it near impossible to form thoughts. "only for you."
he bit his curved lip, gaze warm despite the repeated way his brows knit when he bottomed out in you. "you're right," he muttered, placing a slow kiss on your lips. "only for me. all mine."
the moan that escaped you was much more dramatic than you had intended, and jeonghan beamed with success. you always teased and talked back, but not even you could deny that you were deeply and utterly his.
jeonghan made a habit of staying the night with you, even when he wasn't meant to. both that weekend and the following, he had fallen asleep on your couch, and as you gently woke him to bring him to bed, you couldn't help but laugh at his sleep riddled gaze, his tired limbs slowly and clumsily making their way to your bedroom. and while the first time it had been the night before a morning off, the second was the night before his last concert, and you had to shake him awake in the ams.
"five more minutes," he grumbled, arms snaking around you and trying to pull you down into a cuddle.
"you said that twenty minutes ago," you chided fondly, hands on his cheeks as you kissed his nose, brushing his now lilac locks off his forehead. he whined and blinked one eye open, the other still screwed shut. "c'mon, i have to get you to rehearsal."
he took a deep, controlled breath, eyes shut again as he prepared himself to get on with the day, and you rolled off him to escape the covers yourself. you started digging in your wardrobe, pulling out clothes for you both. when you looked back, jeonghan was slouched on the edge of your bed, back to you.
"excited?" you asked, giggling at his near corpse like posture.
he stretched finally, breathing life back into his body. "i miss doing it for real."
you pursed your lips, bringing a pair of his pants with you as you kneed your way over the mattress to land beside him, a hand running up his back. "i know, baby."
he exhaled. "soon."
"soon," you agreed, holding the sweats out for him. he smiled and took them from you, accepting your slow, tender good morning kiss that he only ever got after he managed to get vertical.
he hummed when you pulled away. "i'm excited. are you going to stay and watch?"
"i'll come back later," you promised, pressing another kiss to his cheek before crawling back over to your wardrobe. "i have to take care of some stuff for the shoot tomorrow, but i'll be back before lunch time."
jeonghan pulled the sweatpants over his legs, standing and adjusting the waistband to sit comfortably on his hips as he walked around the bed to join you. "do you wanna get dinner after the concert?"
you sighed when he put his arms around you, lips pressing into your shoulder as he held you from behind. "won't you be celebrating with the guys?"
"you should celebrate with us," he muttered, his lips making their way up your neck. "you're a part of the family."
your head tipped, allowing his gentle kisses to trail up to your jaw, and you exhaled again. "i can be convinced."
he smiled against you, reaching past you to pull a flannel shirt off a hanger. "i can convince you?"
you rolled your eyes, spinning in his hold and pushing the shirt he had chosen into his chest. "seungcheol can convince me. or mingyu."
jeonghan grinned, knowing you just wanted confirmation from someone that wasn't obsessed with your company like he was that you were actually welcome. and you would get it, of course - all it took to win approval from his members was to make fun of him in new, creative ways. ways that they would never get away with, but just left him laughing with you, barely fighting back, and suddenly you were the vip of any gathering. even earlier in your relationship, when you had joined him and his members for a meal for the first time, several of them excitedly told you stories of jeonghan's youth, making him groan and shake his hands at them, begging to quit with the embarrassing tales of adolescence that anyone would want to forget. you laughed along with them, and only ever brought up the stories in private when you could effectively taunt him into doing whatever you wanted, but it was no wonder he considered them family. they knew him better than anyone, and you always beamed at the way they made him laugh.
"yah, jeonghan-ah!" you giggled when jeonghan tore his lips from yours, your goodnight lingering longer than what could reasonably mean goodnight. you both looked to seungcheol, who had peeked his head out of the van that had driven you home from dinner. "if you're staying, hurry up and say so! some of us are trying to get some sleep tonight."
you pursed your lips, reddened from activities that were too fun to stop, studying jeonghan's profile as he exhaled in the underground garage of your apartment building. he peeked at you, and you watched him resign. "goodnight," he said, pulling you towards him for one last kiss.
"goodnight," you repeated, smiling against him, and your mouth lapped smoothly against his, leaving him pulling away slowly.
"fuck this," he decided, turning and waving at seungcheol. "see you guys tomorrow!"
you laughed when he tugged you towards the elevator, rushing when seungcheol yelled, and you waved apologetically to the car that had been waiting too long for him to suddenly decide he didn't need a ride.
days later, you awoke randomly, eyes searching your dark bedside for the backlit digital clock on the table and grunted when you saw it was four in the morning. you were about to squirm your way into jeonghan's grasp to fall back asleep when your phone vibrated to life, and your curiosity won as you reached over the edge of your mattress to pull it towards you and check the notification.
hyunseok: hey. this is urgent. [article link] hyunseok: i know you guys are solid, but you're gonna have to go to hybe for a meeting later today. 8 am or as soon as you can make it. if you're with jeonghan let him know too.
you blinked at the message, finger hovering over the link. you finally tapped it, peeking over at jeonghan's sleeping figure beside you as it loaded on your phone's browser.
[se***teen's angelic vocal is a devil in disguise]
i will not give details to protect my identity, but i previously worked with an idol group in a production setting in preparation for their recent comeback. one member, in charge of visuals and vocals, is even more devilish than he seems when he plays games. i personally saw him take advantage of a member of staff - specifically one that works on the group's in-house weekly variety show. this staff member was visibly distressed by his advances, and while i was scared to interject in the moment, i later brought it up with a member of management and was told to not worry. it seems that not only is this member freely making inappropriate advances towards staff that have no ability to stop him, but his company is aiding and abetting the behaviour. when i expressed concern again at a later date, noticing that the staff member who this member was focusing his efforts on had suspicious bruising on their arms, i was asked to resign. i have seen this staff member get dragged around by the idol, and there is not a doubt in my mind that he is responsible for more than just simple bruising. i believe this is proof enough that se***teen's angel is despicable by nature, and his company should be ashamed for allowing such a monster to continue working in the public eye, tricking young and impressionable women into fawning over someone who would hurt them if given the chance.
your throat felt dry, sitting up in bed, your hand clamped over your mouth. you reached out for the body sleeping beside you, almost frantic. "jeonghan, wake up."
he grumbled, waking easily but refusing to open his eyes. "no."
"jeonghan," you hissed, and your tone made him prop himself up on an elbow, rubbing his eyes to focus on you.
concern laced his tired brows. "what is it?"
"it's, uh-" you swallowed, eyes scanning your phone screen. "it's… really bad, jeonghan. i think you should read it, but i'm warning you." you looked up at him, and his stomach fell. "it's really not good."
he sat up fully, pushing the heel of his palm into an eye, blinking to adjust his vision to the phone, mood suddenly sobered. his eyebrows pitched inwards as he read the title. "what the hell?"
"i don't know," you said, chewing your lip as you watched his eyes run down the screen. you waited as he read, hearing the noises in the back of his throat as he made his way through the text. "hyunseok just sent me the link. he said we have to go to hybe for a meeting today. i bet you have messages from your manager, too."
"who the fuck posted this?" jeonghan asked, not to you, but to the screen, clicking the anonymous post repeatedly to try to find an answer. "i'm not-" he paused, hands falling to your duvet as he thought. "why would they say-"
"this is so ridiculous," you exhaled, hands raking through your hair. you could feel the denial bubbling in you, but it wasn't easy to control. you sorted through thoughts and memories to make sure you weren't missing something. "we've been so careful. unless it's completely baseless?" your brows stitched together when you looked at him. "but they said it was someone working on going seventeen-"
"we tease, but that's not-" you watched him swallow, his eyes swimming in the dark, and you realized he was still stuck on a specific aspect of the article. "bruises?" he found your gaze finally. "have i hurt you?"
"no, jeonghan," you assured, grabbing his hand and pulling it up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss against his knuckles. "they're lying. besides, you've never taken advantage of me without my encouragement."
he exhaled in false amusement. "you're joking at a time like this?"
you paused, looking at him hesitantly. "it's either that or cry."
neither of you slept after that. seungcheol messaged jeonghan not much later, asking if he saw, and he replied that you and him were discussing options already. seungcheol said he would pass the message along to the rest of the guys, and told him they'd all be there at the office while you had the meeting. the groupchat stayed quiet.
"they're probably gonna ask me to enlist," he said frankly, putting down his phone, and your eyes shut as you tried to control your reaction. the denial had burst into anger, and you had spent a good thirty minutes marching around your apartment, cursing whichever coward had posted an exaggerated and baseless claim. then, you cursed all the people that had read and believed it, gotten it trending and spread. you cursed the fact that you couldn't do anything, and he had watched you from your kitchen, arms crossed as he understood that you were mad because you couldn't defend him. you wanted to prove to everyone that he did nothing wrong, but you couldn't. now, your energy all but depleted, you stood in your small kitchen with jeonghan, trying to make sense of the situation.
"there has to be another way," you said, voice fried and low, fingers brushing over your own lips as you thought.
"there's no way i'm not going on hiatus," he stated, and the brief eye contact he made with you practically broke your heart.
"fuck," you groaned out in realisation, hands immediately going to your head. "fuck, jeonghan, the tour."
he just nodded, and your tear ducts finally surrendered, spilling over. "i know."
"we have to do something," you announced, voice cracking, your face twisting as a steady stream rolled down your cheeks. "jeonghan, you've waited so long to see them in person, you can't-"
"i know," he repeated, louder, and you flinched, hand over your mouth as you watched him. he sighed, eyes shutting as he leaned back against the counter with his arms crossed, his nose crinkled in an attempt to keep calm. "i've just seen this shit happen. there aren't many short term options that end with us together."
you bit back a noise, swallowing harshly and looking away. "then," you paused, sucking in a breath. "maybe we can't."
"no," jeonghan said, pushing off the counter, his eyes exposed his emotions despite his effort to hold off a breakdown. "shut up. absolutely not. i'm not riding this out if you don't end up by my side."
"jeonghan," you pleaded, voice quivering in a way that made him exhale sharply and brace himself on the counter, turning from you. you took a breath and tried to quell your incessant tears. "please, don't make me be the reason you miss this."
"let me miss it!" he almost laughed, voice raised in a way he never did and made you wince in shock, his eyes catching yours briefly. "i don't care!"
"jeonghan," you repeated, tone firm, but the way your damp face reflected in the light betrayed your conviction. "you do care. think of the guys. think of carats-"
"stop," he interrupted, combative. "i only have all that," both his shoulders and voice dipped lower "so i could find-" and he was barely audible when he finished with a succinct "you."
your face contorted out of your control, your eyes stinging again. "don't say that," you whimpered.
"it's true," he practically whispered, his head raising slightly to glance at you as you leaned forward over the counter, elbows making uncomfortable contact with the concrete as you rubbed the tears out of your eyes and took labored breaths. "the guys are my family. even if i had to leave, i couldn't lose them. but i can lose you. and i'm not letting that happen."
"maybe we could try again later," you said, sniffing heavily with your cheeks in your hands, ignoring his suggestion of leaving the group. "i can find a new job, and maybe when things cool down-"
"okay, quitting on me is one thing," he said, a finger up at you as you looked at him pitifully. "but you're not quitting on going. you love that show, and it needs you."
you pouted up at him, and he saw the moisture welling in your eyes. he let out a shaky, breathy laugh, putting a hand on your back and rubbing it over your shoulders, pulling back from the counter, blinking to keep his own tears at bay and coughing once to clear his throat. "c'mere."
you complied, standing into his embrace, his arms wrapped securely around your shoulders, hand rubbing over your spine. you let out an exhausted sob in the crook of his neck, hands grasping at the back of his sweater, sniffing again and swallowing before making your voice work. "i love you both."
jeonghan laughed, sniveling himself. "me and the show?"
a breathy giggle escaped you, and you pouted as you nuzzled into his neck. "yeah."
his hands landed on your shoulders, pulling away enough to look you in the eyes. "i love you, and i don't want you going anywhere. you belong here, with me, with our dream jobs. you understand?"
you took a heaving breath. "okay."
"just-" he swallowed, looking up suddenly, and you let out a weak chuckle as you brought your hands up to his face, wiping the tear from the corner of his eye with your thumb. he smiled at you fondly, sinking into your touch. "just let me fix this, okay? we'll go to the meeting in a couple hours, and it won't be just our sleep deprived brains problem solving. we can fix this."
"okay," you repeated, eyes shutting as you nodded. your forehead fell to his, and jeonghan found himself shutting his eyes, too, savoring this moment of closeness with you that he, for a second, thought he might lose forever. he relished in it with newfound appreciation, and thought that he wasn't sure what he would do if anything or anyone tried to keep you away from him, even if for only a short while.
it felt like an eternity, waiting for the meeting. you both showered, dressed, and still had to stand in uncomfortably long but mutually understood silence in you kitchen. the two of you left your apartment at seven, giving yourself more than enough time to make it to the company building and anxiously wait in a conference room with a couple of jeonghan's managers. you knew them, of course. you were close, even. spoke comfortably. but that didn't stop them from questioning the validity of the post when the the two of you arrived, and you had never seen jeonghan look so solemn.
"it's all bullshit," he said, leaning back in the rolling chair and spinning lightly, hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket. "whoever wrote that post should write webtoons."
younghwan looked at you, seemingly making sure jeonghan wasn't speaking for you, and you would have been offended if it had been anyone else. "it's bullshit," you agreed. "he's never laid a hand on me like that."
jeonghan's jaw flexed, his eyes on the edge of the table to avoid making contact with anyone. "i just don't get why."
"why?" younghwan asked.
"why would someone post that?" jeonghan asked, looking around at the three of you. "what's the motivation? just for fun?" he paused, thinking for a second. "did someone actually get asked to resign because they questioned about us? is this revenge?"
your stomach lurched, and his other manager, minho, rubbed a hand over his jaw. "not as far as we know, but we don't work with production." he looked at you. "do you know?"
"from going?" you asked, a hand on your chest. you thought for a second, feeling the eyes on you. "i don't think so? i'm pretty sure hyunseok would have told me if that happened. didn't they say they worked on production in prep for the comeback?"
younghwan nodded slowly, eyes scanning over the table. "so it could have been someone at rigend, or music show staff."
"no," jeonghan said suddenly, hand pulling from his pocket to place on your thigh, eyes wandering as he gathered the thoughts in his head. he looked at you finally. "they had to have seen us working together," he said, and you exhaled in realisation. "the comeback thing was a lie. they had to have been working on going."
"shit," you whined, hands covering your face as you leaned forward over the conference table. just then, the door opened, and all four of you stood suddenly to greet the people entering the room. the hybe director, a lawyer, hyunseok, and the director from your production company. hyunseok gave you a look, a silent and playful you look like shit, and you gave him a close mouthed grimace to confirm that you felt like it, too.
the lawyer spoke, mostly. he was polite. professional. a little frank. he asked questions about the content of the post, asked about the nature of your relationship and the validity of any claims. how long you had been seeing each other. if you engaged in any public displays of affection on set. he asked to what extent the company was aware of the relationship.
"we've known for a long time," the director said, glancing between you and jeonghan briefly. he leaned forward before folding his hands over the table. "we had a similar meeting in february of this year, at jeonghan's request. we decided then to keep the relationship private."
"us as well," your boss said, and he glanced at hyunseok. "both jeonghan and y/n have maintained professionalism while on the clock, and we have never received any complaints."
"wait," you interjected. "so you're saying the claim that they were asked to resign…" you looked around. "that was a lie, too?"
hyunseok nodded at you. "we haven't had to fire anyone in years. people have left, but they were never for internal reasons. everyone quoted either new jobs or a university when asked why they were leaving."
you leaned back again, tongue in your cheek. "huh. so not a disgruntled ex-employee."
"a disgruntled ex-lover, perhaps?" the lawyer asked, flipping a page over and looking at you expectantly.
"of mine?" you asked, almost shocked, you looked around at the table of men that watched you too closely. you shrank. "not possible, i've only had two other relationships. one of them is married with two kids now, and the other moved to france. i haven't spoken to either in years."
jeonghan resisted the urge to laugh, to poke fun at how you must have been a crazy ex for someone to jump continents after you split, an attempt to brighten your mood in this suffocating conference room. he sighed noisily instead, adjusting in his chair to pull the attention to him. "you know mine already," he said flatly, and you exhaled at the feeling of eyes leaving you, your fingers squeezing at where his hand found your thigh under the table gratefully.
the lawyer nodded. "yes, we'll be contacting them as well, just to confirm their innocence in the matter. we'll need the names and contacts of your exes as well," he said, looking up at you. you nodded and gave their names, watching him write them in his notes. "is there anyone else you can think of that may have known about your relationship?" he looked between the two of you. "someone who isn't… family? or within either company?"
you gasped suddenly, looking at jeonghan. "oh, my god."
"what?" his brows creased and he leaned forward. "who?"
"that guy," you said, feeling the tears stinging your eyes already, and you blinked hard and swallowed to maintain composure as you struggled to pull your phone out of your bag. "that guy that asked me out. he asked me if i was seeing you."
"are you serious?" jeonghan's focus was on you, but you were distracted by the way that younghwan rubbed at his face, the way the hybe director exhaled. he pulled your attention back. "why didn't you tell me?"
you stared at him for a second, trying to find your voice. "i-i meant to, but-" you swallowed, thinking back. "it was when i was going home, after the first concert. i didn't get the chance that night and i forgot until now."
"who is this?" the lawyer prompted.
"kang wonjae," you said, pulling up the messages. hyunseok hummed in recognition, and your boss leaned over to get confirmation from him that the name was one he knew. you slid your unlocked phone across the table, and the lawyer pushed his reading glasses up his nose as he picked up your phone, conversation opened for him. "he worked temporarily on going seventeen a month or so ago. he seemed harmless, so i didn't really think anything of it."
"wait, what was the conversation?" jeonghan asked, his eyes shut as he tried to understand. you chewed on your lip, unable to believe that you had let it slip your mind.
"you remember, he asked me out when he worked with us?" jeonghan nodded once, recalling the message you had a brief conversation about. "i told him it would be unprofessional then, but he tried again and i didn't have the supervisor excuse, so i told him i was in a relationship. but i didn't say anything about who it was."
"with the blonde one," the lawyer read in a monotone, scribbling on his legal pad. "or grey now, hard to tell."
you groaned, fingers kneading into your brow. "i denied it, though! i said that it was ridiculous and he seemed understanding. he hasn't bugged me since." you watched jeonghan sit back again, seemingly processing this new information. you looked at the lawyer. "is it possible that it was him? wonjae was always so polite at work. a little…" you glanced at jeonghan. "i could tell he liked me, but he was never inappropriate."
the lawyer tsked once, pushing his glasses up his nose and sliding the phone back to you, which you immediately handed to jeonghan so he could see the messages himself. "it's possible. you're never really sure what people are capable of. i'll need screenshots of that conversation," he said, pointing his pen around the table, looking for a way to bridge the gap between you and him.
"send them to me," hyunseok said to you, and you nodded. "i'll get them where they need to go."
you resisted the urge to curse, kneading your knuckles when jeonghan put your phone back on the table. he exhaled and folded his arms over his chest. "so," he said, looking around. "suspect number one?"
"right now," the lawyer said, organizing his papers again. "yes. but there's more to discuss."
after another grueling two hours, the directors and lawyer left, and hyunseok lagged behind to put a comforting hand on your back as you leaned over your knees, pushing your head against jeonghan's shoulder.
"it's okay, baby," jeonghan muttered, lips at the crown of your head and a hand on the back of your neck. "it'll be okay."
you sat up when the door opened again, and you snivelled hard at the sight of seungcheol and soonyoung entering the room.
"what happened?" seungcheol asked, immediately looking for an update on the situation. "what's the plan?"
"statement is going out in an hour," jeonghan said, standing and helping you up, too, as you finally let the tears that you had been stifling for the sake of professionalism overtake you. "i'm on indefinite hiatus while they investigate."
seungcheol's shoulders sank. "fuck."
you choked out a laugh, face damp already. "that's what i said."
"what about the poster?" soonyoung asked, his eyes already watering at the sight of you two in the state you were. his hand reached out to squeeze your bicep, a reassurance that jeonghan was far from the only member that didn't blame you. a reminder that you were family now. "do you know who it is?"
"we have an idea," hyunseok interjected, giving you a look to signify that you didn't have to try to speak anymore. "used to work on going."
"who?" seungcheol prompted, jaw firm.
"cheol, stop," jeonghan said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you to his chest, putting a kiss on the top of your head as you curled against him, soonyoung rubbing his hand on your back. "nothing's confirmed, and the company will deal with it. we've done what we can."
"they better be fast," he said, and you almost whimpered against jeonghan's shoulder. "award shows will suck, but we're not going on tour without you."
jeonghan exhaled. "i know you don't want to, but…" his lips pushed together, and seungcheol recognized the glassiness in his eyes. "you might have to."
you were told to lay low. both of you. your apartment was approved by the company to house the two of you while in self isolation, and production for going was put on pause while the situation was sorted out, but that didn't mean you felt at ease. one of his managers, minho, chaperoned you throughout the day, bringing you food and groceries when you needed them so you wouldn't have to venture out. but every day that passed, your knee just bobbed while you stared out the window, thinking about the increase in posts believing that jeonghan was actually capable of something so awful, asking why it was taking so long for them to deny the claims if he was innocent. you were stuck wondering why the hell someone was so dead set on ruining his life.
there were options, of course. the suggestion was to outright deny all claims, including that he had romantic involvement with anyone, but jeonghan hesitated when they asked him if that sounded good to him. he had looked at you, beside him, and wondered if it made sense to keep lying about your existence if he had absolutely no intention of ever letting you go. he wondered if this was the opportunity to come clean. but then, he thought, would letting the world know about you put you in even more danger? make it your name the internet cursed instead? either way, if they weren't able to pin who the original poster was, and fully discredit any claims they made, he likely wouldn't be able to participate in group activities for some time. he wondered if his hair would grow enough for a buzzcut to get rid of all the bleach, or if he would have to dye it back to his natural tone first.
they gave him until the end of the investigation to decide the contents of the final statement on the matter, but if he didn't come up with something before then, they would default to the original plan. you knew he hated that they treated you like a liability in that meeting, but you understood their perspective. he was their money maker, and while hyunseok and eunsong would insist that your departure would negatively affect the show, you were very replaceable in their eyes. as far as they were concerned, you were the cause of this problem, not whoever made that post, because removing you from the equation solved their scandal.
you tried to talk to him about it several times, but he just seemed tired. uninterested in discussing it. you couldn't really blame him - you could tell by the way you kept catching him staring at nothing that it was all he thought about all day.
he called his mother every day, updating her on menial things the two of you got up to in your scandal induced quarantine. long conversations, some periods of which were quiet and in the other room, but with peaks of his voice that sounded suspiciously like a defense of you. it made you think about how you had yet to meet her, the schedule never lining up quite right for you to cross paths. it made you worry that her opinion of you might be irreversibly tainted. this would have been the perfect time, you thought, the first time in a year that the two of you had a day off together with time to visit his family home, but that wasn't an option you had the luxury of choosing.
he spoke to the members, too, often answering their video calls while lounging with you, including you in the conversation as they updated you on all the latest antics. they provided a much needed break, a moment of laughter to pull you from the dark lull you found yourself in. seungkwan made the two of you weigh in on a disagreement in the middle of dance practice, and mingyu argued in the distance with his recount of the events, eventually appearing on seungkwan's camera to supervise the relay of information. it felt painfully normal, you thought, and nothing was more comforting than that.
it took three agonizing days to get news.
it was the evening when another manager called minho, and when he heard what they had to say, he immediately put it on speaker, gesturing for you to join him and jeonghan in your living room. you dropped the towel in your hands onto the counter, rushing over.
"we got in contact with kang wonjae," younghwan said. "he denies any involvement with the post, but he's refusing an ip address request."
you cursed under your breath, fingers grasping jeonghan's. you looked up at him, but his eyes were trained on the phone.
"so it's him?" he asked.
younghwan exhaled across the line. "we can't confirm without getting police involved."
"then get police involved," jeonghan said firmly, looking up at minho. "why would he refuse the request if he didn't make the post?"
your phone buzzed on the counter, and you gave jeonghan a look before you got up to get it. the three of them discussed their theory of wonjae's guilt as you unlocked your phone.
hyunseok: holy shit, y/n. [article link] hyunseok: who's with you right now? you're at home? if you need me to i'll pick you up asap hyunseok: don't go anywhere alone
you replied first, telling him jeonghan and minho were with you at your apartment, then clicked the link to a dispatch article. you didn't even read the title before you gasped.
"what?" jeonghan sat up immediately, and when he saw your hand clasped over your face, he stood. "what is it?"
"fuck, jeonghan," you cried, your entire body rattling with chills as he rushed to your side and took your phone from you. you almost gagged. "oh, my god, they know where i live."
jeonghan's entire body went cold, seeing the picture of the two of you, jeonghan's hand wrapped securely around your forearm as he tugged you towards the elevator in your underground garage. he knew the context, of course - after the last concert, when he had run from seungcheol's annoyed reaction to him deciding to stay the night. but he couldn't deny that it looked bad, the photo capturing a perfect moment where the two of you hadn't been laughing and loving. where your free arm that had been flailing to wave goodbye to seungcheol and jeonghan's neutral expression were far enough away that they could be interpreted as argumentative with the context of the previous claim.
"they were watching us," jeonghan registered, and his blood boiled just beneath the skin as he remembered kang wonjae's face. "that sick fuck was watching us make out. he knows this picture is out of context, fuck!" your hands went over your face as you shuddered, and jeonghan cursed several more times, a hand pushing his hair off his forehead as he paced. "how many fucking pictures does he have of us?"
"it's a private garage," you pointed out, your lip quivering when jeonghan looked at you. "h-he would have to know the code, or he-" your voice gave out, jeonghan grabbing your hand as it sank from your face.
minho appeared next, speaker still on with younghwan as jeonghan showed him your screen. minho put a hand on the kitchen counter, putting down his own phone to rub his face as he immediately recognized the garage that was just a few floors below you. "we should leave."
jeonghan nodded, immediately jumping into action. "dorm? or hotel?"
"hotel," minho stated, then began relaying the information to younghwan. telling him there was a photo. that the article credited an anonymous source for it. that whoever was posting on pann had been stalking one or both of you. you felt numb with the realisation that, yes, that was what this meant, when jeonghan tugged on your shoulders, forcing you to face him.
"hey, bunny," he said gently, taking your face in his hands and kissing your forehead. "let's pack, okay? we're gonna get out of here."
"okay," you agreed weakly, mostly because you didn't think you had the energy to argue. jeonghan led you into your bedroom, and you looked around, mind swimming. you wondered if that was the only time someone followed. if things would have ended different if you had arrived alone that night. if jeonghan hadn't stayed with you. you took a heaving breath and wondered if this place you were just starting to feel at home in would ever be safe.
"hey," jeonghan prompted, noticing the steady tears running down your face and putting down the duffel bag he always had stashed in your closet. he pulled you into his chest and you sobbed against him. "it's gonna be alright. i'll protect you."
you whined against him, your fingers gripping weakly at his shirt. "what about you?"
he thought for a second. "minho's pretty big."
you choked out a laugh, and he pulled away enough to wipe your face with his thumbs, kissing you wherever he could. you took a breath. "i can't stop thinking that he-" you gulped, trying to make your raw throat work. "what if he's here? right now?"
"shush, he's not. there's no way," he said, even though you both knew he had no way of knowing for sure. he rocked you in his arms gently, and you managed a deep breath. "don't worry. the company will take care of us. we'll be safe when we get out of here."
you nodded, sniveling as you pulled away, pulling your sleeves over your hands to wipe the moisture from your face. "jeonghan?"
his hands flattened the hair at the base of your skull, and he watched you fondly. "yes?"
you pursed your lips. "i'm really sorry."
"shh." his hands on your jaw again, kissing your forehead gently. "this isn't your fault. don't be sorry."
minho drove you to a hotel near the company building, and you and jeonghan were covered head to toe to avoid any chance of recognition as he pulled your roller suitcase with his duffel hooked over the handle. minho led you into the back room, explaining that another manager from the company - one that had been vetted thoroughly, despite not working directly with seventeen before - was in another car to take you somewhere else.
"we're not staying here?" you asked, the three of you following the hotel manager through a back hallway. you peeked into the restaurant kitchen as you passed, and jeonghan put a hand on your back.
minho shook his head. "just in case we were followed. we're leaving the car here."
your steps faltered for a split second, but jeonghan's hand prompted you forward. you swallowed. "right."
the second hotel was further away, but you recognized the area still. minho stayed in the car with the two of you as the driver - donghyun, he had said his name was - went inside to check you in, retrieving room keys.
"are you guys okay?" he asked finally, and you just slumped against jeonghan's side.
"not yet," jeonghan said truthfully. "ask again when we're free."
the room was nice. big. there were two beds, even though you would only use the one, as donghyun and minho had a room just next door. you sat on the small couch against a wall, not even realizing that your hand was trembling on your knee until jeonghan squatted in front of you, his fingers tangling with yours.
"hey," he said gently, bringing your fingers to his lips. "how are you doing?"
you sighed, holding his hand tighter. "bad."
he let out a chuckle, and you smiled weakly at him. "me, too. wanna have a bad mood snuggle?"
you pouted and nodded at him, and he stood, laughing lightly when you just raised your arms for him pitifully.
"c'mon," he sighed, taking your hands and trying to pull you to your feet. "let's get in bed." you whined, but stood anyways, acting limp as you fell against him. he chuckled again, dragging you towards the head of the bed. "careful, if wonjae sees us he'll think i'm assaulting you."
you let out a surprised noise, then laughed, genuinely, for the first time all day, pushing your pants off your hips and plopping down onto the bed. you sniveled noisily. "you're making jokes about it now?"
"i'll be honest," he said, pushing his lips together as he leaned down to grab the ankle of your joggers and help them over your feet. "i like the joking better than the crying."
you exhaled, your breathing slightly labored with congestion as you pulled the covers off the bed, crawling your way in and lifting them for jeonghan to join you. "me, too."
the two of you laid together for a long while, wrapped up in each others arms and muttering random distractions. you even managed to doze off for a bit, exhausted from the horrors you had discovered that day, and only woke because jeonghan's body shifted under you.
"sorry," he said gently, putting a kiss on your forehead when you blinked up at him. "i was looking for my phone, i think it's in my jacket."
you looked over to where he had piled his coat on top of the dresser. "do you want mine? or are you gonna go get it?"
he glanced at the bedside table, where your phone sat perfectly in reach. "i-" he paused, swallowing. "i was gonna look at that conversation," he admitted. "with wonjae."
you studied his face. "go ahead."
"there's something that's bothering me," he said, reaching over to retrieve your phone. you had sent him the screenshots, also, when you sent them to hyunseok, but jeonghan had been avoiding rereading the information until now. you put in your passcode for him - not a secret, but he felt better when you unlocked it for him - and he navigated to kakaotalk.
the chatroom with wonjae had started normal. you messaging him about location updates, short work related messages that one would expect a producer to send an assistant. then the first time he had attempted to see you, when you had shut him down efficiently and politely. a few more messages about work, then nothing for over a month, when he had asked about jeonghan.
his eyes scanned the dates and timestamps. "how did he know my hair was grey?"
you blinked, remembering the unsettled feeling that fact had given you at the time. "i-" you swallowed. "i thought maybe he had seen the concert? or the pictures you guys posted after?"
"but he said hard to tell," he read, remembering how the wording had caught his attention at the meeting. "if he saw the pictures, he would have just said it was grey. was he just lying about not watching the concert?" jeonghan asked, knowing full well you didn't have an answer for him. "or-"
"stop," you said suddenly, pushing off his chest, understanding his implication. "you're not saying-"
"i don't know," jeonghan said, rubbing a hand over his face once. "he might have been."
"oh, my god," you said, rolling over onto your back and planting your hands on your forehead. but it would make sense, you thought. he never would have seen you and jeonghan act any different than any other pair at work - you were far too aware to let that happen this far along, and he had gotten hired long after jeonghan's blatant attempts to woo you. you had thought it was weird that he said you seemed close, but maybe it had been because he had seen the two of you canoodling, jeonghan's hair color vague in the dim light outside the venue. "oh, my god, i went home alone that night."
jeonghan shushed you, rubbing a hand over your bicep as you brought it back down to the mattress. "sorry for bringing it up. don't think about the what ifs."
you stared at the ceiling. "how long has this guy been stalking me?"
jeonghan's chest tightened, seeing your eyes scan across nothing as you thought, and though he had his suspicions, too, he couldn't make himself comment.
there was a knock on the conjoined door that made you jump, but as soon as you realized where it came from, you exhaled, a hand on your heart. jeonghan rushed out of bed to pull the deadbolt, and you sat up when the door revealed minho. he greeted you both gently, and jeonghan sat at the end of the bed. "you guys hungry?"
jeonghan looked back at you, and you pursed your lips. you didn't have much of an appetite, and jeonghan could tell, but when he turned back to minho, he simply said, "we should probably eat something."
"any requests?" he asked, and it almost reminded you of being backstage at music shows, when the managers would bring food for you all. almost.
"galbitang?" he suggested, knowing he was the only one that was going to put forward opinions. "bibimmyeon and kimchi jeon."
minho looked down at his phone. "i can do that. anything else?"
"soju," you said, half joking, but when jeonghan saw your defeated expression, he just turned back to minho and nodded.
"coming right up," he said, giving you a sympathetic look before closing the joined door behind him.
there was a long pause, where you sat cross legged with bedding crumpled over your lap and jeonghan stared down at his hands, close but just further than you would be able to reach. you wished you could make your mind stop spinning, stop thinking for just a second, but there was no use. details and memories bombarded you lining up in ways that felt too similar to all the true crime media you had consumed over the years. so you just fell back into bed, the whump of the mattress and the slight movement he felt making jeonghan turn towards you.
"i kept wondering why someone would want to ruin your life," you said quietly, eyes skating across the ceiling. "but now it makes sense. he's trying to ruin your life because he knows it'll ruin me."
"luckily, he's an idiot," jeonghan said, starting to crawl towards you. "left too many clues. it's like he's never watched me solve all the mysteries you plan out for us."
a vague laugh left you, and he gave you one of those smiles that always made your heart flutter. "i love you."
he took your hand in his, pressing his lips to your palm for a tender kiss, then placing it against his cheek. "i love you."
your thumb drifted over his cheek bone as you studied him. "should we tell minho?"
"about our theory?" he confirmed, then paused, moving your hand over his mouth as he thought. "probably. who knows what details they'll uncover now that we know someone was following us. but it's up to you."
"i still can't believe-" you cut yourself off with a huff, your free hand rubbing at an eye. "he was in my garage, jeonghan."
"i know," he muttered, the fact weighing on him the same way it did you. the entry was manned 24/7, only residents and guests with specific permission from residents could get past the gate. there was a pedestrian entry, too, and you could enter from within the building, but both required a code to get through. "maybe he slipped in after someone."
your fingers tightened against his cheek. "he could know my unit."
jeonghan exhaled once, recognizing the train of thought he had earlier, when he had been hurriedly packing up your bathroom. "i know."
you sighed, shaking your head slightly to clear it. "have you spoken to the guys?"
he looked over to his coat again, making brief eye contact before he started moving off the bed to retrieve his phone. "not since we left your place."
he had unread messages from every member, at varying lengths and notifications counts. he pushed and pulled at pillows until he was satisfied with the back support, settling against the headboard with you sat cross legged, facing him and staring at a puzzle game on your own phone as he checked his messages.
svt mingyu: stay safe, hyung. i'm thinking about you both.
svt scoups: bro i'm gonna kill this guy svt scoups: like they're gonna have to drag me off him in court i'm not kidding svt scoups: who does he think he is? does he realize what he's messing with?
svt seungkwan: i love you hyung. tell pd-nim i love them too. svt seungkwan: have you had dinner yet?
svt dino: is y/n feeling okay?? we all saw the picture after you told us, didn't even have to search. it's everywhere. svt dino: we got sent home from practice early, younghwan has been keeping us updated. the trends don't look great right now, but they don't know the truth yet. seungkwan had to stop looking at his phone, though ㅎㅎ he was shaking so bad. i'm so grateful you guys are safe now. love you.
svt joshua: miss you guys so much. you'll make it through this. hwaiting 💪💜
your attention was pulled from your own phone screen when he sniffed suddenly, and you looked over in time to catch him wiping his cheek with the heel of his palm. "oh, baby."
he laughed, sniveling again when you cooed at him, your hands immediately going to his face to help him wipe away the tears. "fuck, i was trying so hard not to."
"it's good to cry sometimes," you said gently, his reddened eyes avoiding yours when you reached over him for the tissues on the nightstand. "it helps you process."
"i don't know if you've noticed," he said, argumentative despite the soft tone. "but i'm pretty good at processing without it."
you gave him a look, and he let out a noise that almost resembled a chuckle as you pressed a tissue into the corner of his eye. "information, maybe. your emotions could use a little work."
"aye." you stifled a laugh at his half offended expression. "are you calling me emotionally unavailable?"
you let him take the tissue from you so he could blow his nose. "your words, not mine."
he laughed, sniffing harshly and coughing away from you. he inhaled deeply. "i should call someone. let them know we're okay."
you nodded, studying him as he coughed again, trying to clear the newfound congestion in his chest.
it only took two rings.
"hyung, hello?" the voice sounded frantic on the other end.
"hi, seungkwan, we're okay-" a harsh exhale came through the speaker, and you heard someone else mutter a good and realized seungkwan must have announced the call as soon as he received it. "minho is getting us something to eat right now, we've just been resting."
"did someone tell you?" seungkwan asked. "they tried to contact kang wonjae again-" he spat out the name like he couldn't stand to speak it, "-after the photo leak, but he isn't responding. there's talk about getting a warrant for his apartment."
you blinked. someone questioned him about the post, so he set off his nukes - sent the photo to dispatch. jeonghan looked at you, his eyes questioning you closely. you paused for a second, then nodded. "about him," he started.
"what?" seungcheol's voice came through. "what about him?"
you spoke up. "don't say anything, but we think he may have been stalking me for a while," you said, managing to say all the words calmly despite how they made you feel. the line was quiet. "at least since the first concert, but i think it's been longer. maybe since he quit."
there was a pause before seungcheol spoke again. "what happened?"
"he knew my hair was grey as soon as the concert ended," jeonghan said. "but acted like he just barely knew it was going on."
"what the hell," seungkwan breathed out, and you could practically see the look of disgusted curiosity on his face. "it was grey for, like, three days- wah, i have goosebumps."
"at that point, only one," you specified, and seungkwan made a noise. "and he got into my garage."
"it's private," a new voice said, slightly further off, and you registered that soonyoung must have remembered all the times he had been in the car, accompanying you home with jeonghan. "he would need a code, right? because he wouldn't be able to get past the gate."
"you need to move," seungcheol said immediately. "even if we catch this bastard, i don't like the idea of you living there anymore."
"me neither," jeonghan said, eyeing you, and you figured he had been trying to decide how to tell you for hours at this point.
"and the picture," seungkwan said, voice laced with worry. "someone might be able to figure out where it is. aish, seriously, this is so..!"
you let out a breathy laugh at the frustrated noise seungkwan made, clearly jumping straight into anger after the confirmation that you two were okay. "i guess it's back to apartment hunting."
"i'll help," jeonghan said, his hand finding yours among the bedding. "somewhere even closer. with better security."
"they have good security," seungcheol said, and you sighed quietly. "that's the scary part."
"somewhere with better," jeonghan repeated firmly, and you squeezed his hand to make him exhale. "we'll figure it out," he concluded quietly.
"you should move into our building," soonyoung suggested, half joking. you laughed. "it would be like having a sleepover with all your best friends every night."
"yah, jeonghan-ah." seungcheol's voice was steady. "we're here for you two, you know that?"
you watched his jaw tense ever so slightly, a detail only someone who spent the better half of all their free time admiring everything about his face. he inhaled shortly, a silent sniff to stave off the tears that were creeping over his previously breached ducts. you rubbed your thumb over his knuckles, adjusting to sit closer when he pushed his other fist under his nose quickly. "yeah. thank you."
"i'm serious," seungcheol said. "thirteen, you hear me?"
and jeonghan was brought back, two years earlier, when he had to say the same thing to one of his best friends, wracked with guilt for not being able to go with the rest of them overseas. when jeonghan had to comfort him by reminding him that he would always be their leader. thirteen. always. he thought about the looming tour announcement, the date that was quickly approaching, and how his fate was still in limbo.
jeonghan grabbed a fresh tissue off the night stand and sniffed noisily as he sat up, your hand falling from his grasp. "i hear you."
"ah, seriously," seungkwan said quietly. "you made him cry."
"not crying," jeonghan argued immediately, tissue damp as his fingers kept busy, wiping his eyes.
seungkwan let out an incredulous laugh. "did you forget you have a spy with you?"
you looked to jeonghan, and he looked like he was ready to interrupt you as soon as your mouth opened, but you just reached out to his arm, sniffing as loud as you could before you spoke. "he's not crying. i am."
seungkwan started cooing, then scolding seungcheol for making you cry, and jeonghan just stared at you, shocked that you missed out on the opportunity to tease him. you rubbed your thumb over his wrist, looking at his phone as seungcheol argued that you two would be insane for not crying at a time like this. jeonghan wiped his nose and tossed the tissue aside when soonyoung spoke up again, saying your name gently. "we have your back, too. okay?"
"thank you, youngie," you said, pulling a knee to your chest and resting your chin on it. "love you guys."
there was instantly a chorus of love yous back, the loudest being seungkwan, but including voices that hadn't even appeared in the call yet. you couldn't help but giggle, and when you looked back at jeonghan, he was watching you, a slight smile on his lips.
"hey," he said, eyes on you, but you knew he wasn't addressing you. "minho's gonna be back with food soon, we should go."
"okay, hyung," seungkwan said, and you could hear him pick up the phone from wherever he had set it for the call. "keep us updated, we'll let you know anything on our end, too."
"thank you," jeonghan said. "all of you."
"of course. hannie hae."
a laugh tumbled out of jeonghan, and you giggled along with him before he put a half heart on his cheek out of instinct, giving a gentle hannie hae in response. seungkwan said goodbye before hanging up, and jeonghan pulled you towards him. you settled in his side, the two of you slumped against the headboard in a hotel room that had been booked for you only hours before.
"hey, bunny?"
you made a noise of acknowledgement, cheek rubbing against his shoulder. "w'sup?"
his hand landed on the back of your head, petting it softly. "do you remember what happened a year ago?"
you hummed. "what day is it today?"
he chuckled, glancing at the clock on the bedside to confirm that it was past midnight already. "the twenty seventh, now."
you chewed your lip as you thought. "that was right after ttt, so i was planning for the going magazine shoot. why?"
"what about me?" he asked, offended. "what was i up to?"
you blinked. "finishing home;run promotions?" you adjusted, looking at him. "wisdom teeth was december. am i missing something?"
he laughed, sniffing suddenly, still recovering from his brief cry. "yeah, you are."
you looked around again, as if your memories were laid out across the displaced duvet. "today?"
jeonghan just tugged you back down against his side, pressing his lips to the top of your head as you still tried to solve his puzzle. "do you remember me coming over?"
he came over a lot during that time, you told him. he laughed and said he still did, but that the twenty seventh of november was different. you thought about it a second longer, but you were pulled from the conversation when there was a knock at the door leading to the conjoined room.
minho had brought jeonghan's requests, along with two bottles of soju, and you thanked him thoroughly while you walked with him back to the door.
"if you need anything," he said, turning in his room to look at you as you leaned against the frame. "let us know, okay?"
you nodded, looking between him and the other manager. "we will, but, um-" jeonghan stopped pulling out containers from bags when he realized what you were about to discuss, moving towards you instead. "something about wonjae-"
donghyun stood next. "what about wonjae?" he asked, walking from his seat on a bed towards the door, and suddenly all four of you were gathered between your two rooms.
"i don't think the picture was the first time he stalked me," you stated, feeling more confident in your hypothesis after thinking about it more. "jeonghan pointed out that wonjae said his hair was grey in that message, but he denied seeing anything from the concert."
"you think he saw it in person?" minho asked, looking between you and jeonghan, who nodded at him.
"and he messaged me as soon as i got in a cab," you noted, looking at jeonghan briefly. "if he had been watching, he would have known i was alone at that point. maybe he thought i'd say yes to a drink if jeonghan wasn't around when he asked."
"but you turned him down anyways, so he accused you," jeonghan continued, eyes on you as he picked up exactly what you were putting down. "called you out for dating an idol because he knew you were."
"and i told him to back off," you said, rubbing your hands together nervously, watching the way jeonghan studied your face. "so he did. until he had proof."
"the garage photo," minho recalled. "until he had the garage photo."
"i bet he was just trying to cause a scandal," you said. "just pictures of us kissing or whatever. but he probably looked back at them after and found one that looked like it could be a fight."
donghyun rubbed his face thoroughly, trying to take in what you were suggesting. "so he made that post a couple days later. there might be something to this."
minho already had his phone in his hand. "we'll pass this along. if you think of anything else, just knock or message me."
you nodded, thanking them, and you both closed the doors between the rooms. you leaned against it a moment, looking at jeonghan, then sighed, knowing what he was about to ask.
"so," he exhaled, licking his lips thoroughly before settling his attention fully on you. "what's his deal?"
your eyes skated across the ceiling. "i have a theory."
he smiled, getting a hold of your hand. "why do you think i asked? i saw you solving the mystery in your head there."
you sighed again, following him towards the table to sit. "well, we know he had a crush on me at work. i guess i was nice enough that his crazy turned on and he got obsessed. i think he quit because i told him it would be inappropriate, figuring i would agree to see him if that wasn't a barrier." you paused, both your speech and hand motions, looking around at the food. "i don't know why, but i think he must have been following me for a while. maybe just going to locations he knew i would be at for work and waiting for me to show up?"
jeonghan nodded, peeling back plastic lids on soup and rice. he saw the stark difference from when the picture came out and now. he had watched you go from panicked to calm throughout the day, and he knew the only way you could get through this was by pretending it was happening to someone else, at least until you were safe to face it at your own pace. "people have done more depraved shit," he sighed, playing along.
"so he's staking out places he thinks i'll be," you say, collecting a pair of chopsticks. "ends up at the concert venue. he spots me out there, seemingly waiting for a cab, maybe thinks it's an opportunity to turn on the charm and give me a ride home. but then you show up, immediately macking on me-"
"hey," jeonghan warned, plastic spoon pointed at you. "you enjoy the enthusiasm, don't act like you don't."
you giggled at him, splitting your chopsticks. "so he realizes that we have a thing going on. he must have thought i was into you for the glamour, or whatever," you explained, rolling your eyes. "the status. to say i was dating an idol - you get it. so he figured he could probably still get a date with me if he asked, but then i told him i had been in a relationship for a while, and that i was happy."
jeonghan was mixing the noodles as he listened, one chopstick in either hand. "and you deny that it's me when he outright asks, so he realizes it's not for the bragging rights. he has to break us up."
"exactly," you said, punctuating it with a jab of your chopsticks towards him. "so he stakes out my garage, and gets that picture."
"because a picture of an idol making out with a civilian is a relationship ender. but an abuse scandal?" jeonghan grimaced at you as he put his chopsticks down, his elbows landing on the table. "that's a career ender."
"double whammy," you said. "of course i would run to accept his drink invite after my entire life blew up in my face."
jeonghan appraised you fondly, his chin resting on his knit fingers. "would you?"
you gestured to your surroundings, blinking at him. "obviously not."
"damn," he exhaled, shaking his head again. "he didn't account for the fact that we actually like each other."
you giggled, then gave him a look. "we're good at this," you said, nodding, and he could already tell you were thinking about the show. "we should make a crime procedural."
his hands split, flipping outwards at you questioningly. "isn't that just don't lie? or bad clue?"
you laughed, sticking the end of your chopsticks just past your lips and grabbing one of the styrofoam bowls of rice. "i dunno, maybe i'm totally wrong. sounds plausible, though, right?"
"honestly, yeah, it does," jeonghan admitted, pulling his elbows off the table. "are you ready to remember that we're talking about you, yet?"
you exhaled, watching his hands as he picked up his chopsticks. "not yet."
"okay," he said gently. he reached over and grabbed the paper cups by the coffee machine, gesturing for you to open a bottle. you grabbed the soju, spinning it upside down and cracking the seal open, pouring estimated shots into the cups as jeonghan held them over the food. you took one, tapping it against his, and he smiled fondly and took his shot before you. he exhaled happily as you brought the cup to your lips. "happy anniversary."
you almost spat soju everywhere, barely managing to down it without making your entire throat burn, and jeonghan immediately burst into laughter. "what?" you asked, incredulous. "no way, we started dating before ttt. before going vs. seventeen, even!"
"we went on dates," jeonghan said, smiling at your way of telling time. "on the twenty seventh of november, i came over at one in the morning, we ordered food, and i asked if you would be interested in having an idol boyfriend." he paused, looking to his left briefly. "and you told me to stop referring to myself as an idol just to make fun of you. but you also said you would like it."
you blinked at him, the memory coming back to you with his prompting, the conversation you had over dinner - long past midnight, as it usually was for the two of you - and you looked down. "galbitang."
"and kimchi jeon," he said, pointing at it. "you were really insistent on wanting that."
you looked up at him, eyes welling. "are you fucking serious?" you asked, pulling your sleeves over your hands preemptively. "we're hiding in a hotel from a stalker that's trying to ruin our lives, and it's our fucking anniversary?"
he sighed, a smile on his lips as he watched you. "anything else would be too boring for us."
you laughed, rubbing the tears off your warm cheeks with your sleeves. "god, i love you."
jeonghan exhaled, picking up rice and selecting a jeon. "i can't believe you didn't remember our anniversary."
you giggled, sniffing and pushing your tearstained sleeves up your arms. "not only did i not remember, but i didn't even know it was today in the first place. what the hell did we celebrate, like, three weeks ago?"
he tried not to smile when he looked up at you, eyes wide, hoping to keep up this annoyed act that you saw right through anyways. "i told you then! that was the one year anniversary of our first date!"
you leaned back in your chair, jaw offset as you glared at him. "you did that on purpose."
"i did," he said, finally letting his crooked smile show. "wasn't expecting to be on house arrest for the real one, though."
"not house arrest," you pointed out, finally sitting up to start eating with him. "business plus at a four star hotel arrest. honestly, a nice change of scenery."
jeonghan laughed, putting the jeon he had picked out on your rice. "an anniversary trip."
you chewed your lip, looking at the kimchi jeon that you had practically begged for a year prior, remembering how he proudly called himself your boyfriend every chance he got for the following week. "i like the way that sounds."
you looked back up at him, and he saw a light at the end of the tunnel. "me, too."
after the two of you ate, takeout containers piled neatly in the trash and the desk it sat next to, you walked into the bathroom to find jeonghan squeezing cleanser onto his fingers.
"oh, hi," he greeted gently, putting globs of it on different parts of his face and turning to you. "kiss me."
you laughed, bumping him away with your hip to get at the sink. "no, i need to brush my teeth."
he puckered his lips, leaning into you, and you yelped in fear that he would get his cleanser in your hair, scolding him. "hurry up,'' he insisted impatiently, resuming his pout and tapping his lip. "bbo bbo."
your hands were on his shoulders, and you moved towards him slowly, placing a kiss on his minty lips carefully to avoid the cleanser booby traps. "you're so annoying."
he laughed, finally rubbing it into his skin and letting you grab your toothbrush. "i wouldn't have to be if you just did it the first time."
by the time you had showered and rejoined him in bed, it was nearly three in the morning, but your sleep schedule had pretty quickly readjusted to align with jeonghan's most days of the week. if you had to wake up early for a shoot, you would purposefully go to bed early, but it was better suited for your interests to stay up late enough for jeonghan to get off work.
so with a boost from your short nap earlier in the evening, you crawled into bed with him, attaching yourself to his side and snuggled against him. he laughed, adjusting the grip he had on his phone while he played some game. he ended up discarding his phone altogether to fix his position for cuddling, and you sighed happily against him.
"for the record, i do know."
you blinked. "what?"
"in that conversation," jeonghan explained, gesturing to your phone on the nightstand. "with wonjae. he said, i hope your partner knows how lucky they are. i do. i think about it almost every day."
"shut up," you said nudging him.
he sighed, removing a stray hair from the sleeve of your shirt. "i can't imagine anyone else would put up with me the way you do."
you wiggled against him pathetically. "stop, i've already cried enough today."
he laughed at you, but brought his hands to your head, pulling you in to kiss him gently. "i love you to the moon and back. there's not a thing i wouldn't do for you."
you sniffed noisily. "dye your hair black."
he laughed, and you giggled along with him, admiring how his eyes glittered. "anything in the world and you choose something i'm probably gonna do anyways?"
"i love you to the stars and beyond," you said quietly, kissing him again. "i don't ever wanna make you do something you wouldn't normally do."
his expression only grew fonder, and he pulled you against his chest again, holding you close. he sighed, and you waited patiently for him to decide what he was going to say. "what are your thoughts on the statement?"
you stayed silent a moment, sorting through every detail you considered but hadn't gotten to discuss, settling on the only thing that made you unsure of your opinion. "i'm wondering why you're having so much difficulty with it."
"i just-" he shifted, rolling onto his back and you scooted closer. "i know we value our privacy, but we're going to have to announce our relationship eventually." his head turned, nose landing next to yours. "i plan on marrying you, you know. i don't want to lie about you."
jeonghan had never once discussed marriage with you, though you had certainly thought about how his embrace was one you wouldn't get tired of until you died. you wondered how often he thought similar things about you, and something in you felt lighter than it had in days. "then why are you having such a hard time deciding?"
he pulled an arm off you, rubbing his face thoroughly before plopping it back to the mattress. "i'm scared."
you looked at his profile, his unmoving eyes on the ceiling. "for me?"
"yeah," he confirmed. "i'm scared people will react poorly. if your name ever becomes attached to mine in a public sense, it won't be just me being torn to pieces. you've seen what they've been saying about me-" he took a breath, and you felt the tension in his body. "i'm just putting you at risk. wonjae's not the only crazy person out there."
"jeonghan," you said gently, and his eyes flickered to you. "i won't lie and say i'm not scared, too-"
"i know," he exhaled, his hand landing just behind your ear and stroking your cheek gently with a thumb. "you're always so careful about being discreet, thank you for that."
you pouted at him. "i'm careful because you need me to be. i don't want to say no every time you try to take me out, but i know how much it would hurt you if-" you paused, thinking. "well, if something like this happened."
he gave you a lopsided smile. "it happened."
"so things are gonna change," you said, adjusting your head. "we can't help it. things have to be different now, and if part of that is letting people know you're in a relationship, then-" you chewed your lip briefly, thinking. "then i can be ready for that, as long as you are."
he studied you. "are you sure?"
"yes, jeonghan," you said, a hand on his chest as you propped yourself up to look at him properly. "that fear you have, of having people talk shit about me without knowing me-" you chewed your cheek, trying to keep the tears down. "i'm already living that nightmare. people are saying things about you that are awful. and completely untrue. i wake up every morning and see all the new terrible things people are hypothesizing, and i'm not even allowed to defend you."
his hand went to your cheek. "you don't have to defend me, bunny. i'm tough."
"i know. but i am, too," you said, leaning into his touch. "i knew what i was signing up for when i fell in love with you. i can handle it, especially if it means putting this entire scandal business behind us."
he sighed dramatically. "you're too good," he complained. "i was hoping we would fight about this so we could have super passionate make up sex."
a laugh burst out of you. "there are other kinds of sex, y'know."
"yeah, but that one sounded so good," he said, getting his arm under the cover to run over your hip. "you bite when you're mad."
"i bite when i wanna bite," you corrected, pushing against his hand when it curved over your rear and tugged your thigh over his lap. "you just make me mad a lot."
he smiled at you. "madly in love?"
you bit at your lip to stifle a giggle. "god, the shit i go through for you."
"i know," he sighed. "i'm sorry."
you shook your head, leaning down into him. "wouldn't trade it for anything."
you woke up early, blearily looking around the unfamiliar room. you could tell the sun wasn't up yet, and you laid back down, confused as to why you kept waking up at odd hours as of late. your eyes flew open, grabbing your phone to make sure there was nothing new.
you cursed, quickly trying to get out of bed without disturbing jeonghan. he stirred when you were retrieving a shirt - one that had gotten thrown to the other bed at some point that morning, as well as your underwear - making a noise when he noticed you out of the covers.
"bathroom," you whispered, kissing him on the cheek. he accepted your excuse and buried his head back in the pillow as you skittered off.
[covering the devil's tracks]
i am posting this because i don't believe i have much time. after revealing my concerns about se***teen's devil's domestic abuse, i have been contacted by the monster's company and been threatened to retract my claims. i refuse. i will not lie for a corporation that clearly has no care for vulnerable parties. i have reason to believe that they will try to frame me as a liar or a criminal in order to dismiss the validity of my claims, but i am stating here now, that i had nothing to do with the photo that leaked yesterday. to my friend, the one being held hostage by this devil, i hope you know i am still on your side. stay strong.
your blood felt like it was boiling. you leaned heavy against the bathroom counter, trying to steady your breathing. if you had been more naive, you might have believed it. if you had been less careful about who could see the two of you, or if jeonghan had ever been anything less than a gentleman on set. if you didn't know every single aspect of his first post was a god damn lie. and the gall, you thought, to call you his friend. the absolute lack of self awareness. you knew this was a last ditch effort to keep the narrative on his side. you wondered how long it took for restraining orders to get approved.
you opened your kkt chatroom with wonjae, drafting several angry messages and deleting them immediately, hoping that if you pretended to satisfy your needs you could quell the rage in you, but you kept staring at his last message every time your bar was emptied again.
i hope your partner knows how lucky they are
jeonghan said he knew, but you were lucky, too. lucky to have fallen so deeply for someone who loved you just as much as you did them. to share that happiness. to miss him when he was gone. to have found a home that wasn't tied to a location, but to a person. to his heart and soul.
and this god damned kang wonjae, this kid that had a stupid crush on you, kept violating that. trying to keep you from feeling safe in your apartment. in your relationship. you sniffed and rubbed your nose, frustrated tears welling in your eyes. you couldn't let this keep happening to your home. he deserved better.
[an angel's defense]
hi, wj. you know exactly who this is. from back when you were doing comeback prep with the boys? wait, no, that's not right. it was for going, wasn't it? because that's what you worked on. i was your supervisor, remember? i'm sure you do, you quit the job because i told you it would be inappropriate for us to go out while i was in charge of you (that's right, quit. not asked to resign). in reality, i was trying to be kind to you. i knew you liked me from the day you started. you weren't subtle. but i have been in the most loving and wonderful relationship i've had the joy of experiencing since long before you started working for me, and even if i hadn't been, my boyfriend was right when he said you weren't my type anyways.
i know you followed us that night you asked me out again. followed me, at least. i know you saw us and got mad. i also know that was the first time you saw anything between us, because he has never touched me on set. he has never laid hands on me. the bruises were a lie. and now, you've been in the private garage of my apartment complex, which i now have to move from because of this debacle. you knew that picture was out of context, because you had been watching us kiss for the ten minutes before it was taken, and you probably heard his friend yelling at him and how we ran off laughing together. hope you enjoyed the show, i have fun with them every day.
if you're innocent, why are you avoiding questions from the company and police? if we're friends, why haven't you tried to contact me? don't keep lying. to yourself and everyone else. wake up. i'm flattered, but not because i like you. it's because whatever version of me you made up in your head must be absolutely incredible for you have done all this crazy shit. were they worth it?
we are spending our anniversary in hiding today, after spending all of yesterday crying and scared, and it's already been one of the most romantic days of my life. all you've done is bring us closer. my partner says he knows how lucky he is. you don't have to hope anymore.
you were in trouble. you knew you would be, and donghyun made you delete the post when he found it spreading to timelines a few hours later, but not before it had gotten screenshotted and translated everywhere. you made faces and apologies like you regretted it, like it was stupid and impulsive, but jeonghan saw right through you. and despite how angry he was when he woke up to what you had done, how difficult the process to damage control would be on the two of you, he felt a little proud that you had taken things into your own hands. minho was with the two of you now, well after midday, and you weren't allowed to have your phone without supervision - director's orders, which you resented but understood - but you felt a million times better. you had gotten your piece out. you defended him, even if it only stayed up for a short while. perspectives were already shifting, according to minho, who was monitoring the trends for you while you anxiously fiddled with your empty fingers.
donghyun burst into the room. "wonjae turned himself in."
you stood, goosebumps on your arms in disbelief. "really?"
he nodded as jeonghan got up, too, grabbing your arm and pulling you into him. you hugged him, his arms tight around you, and you thought for a second you might have felt him shaking.
he turned himself into police, accompanied by a breakdown, according to donghyun. he said he thought you would love him if he was there for you when jeonghan inevitably left. claimed you had sent him signals, crying for help, and when they searched his apartment, they found other pictures of you, too. that night in the garage, and also at the restaurant before. some at work. some outside your apartment. for once, you were horrified that you had been right.
the lawyer was very displeased with you, which you thought was pretty unfair. afterall, if it hadn't been for your anonymous post, wonjae might have resisted arrest even longer. you might have been stuck in a hotel for more than just your anniversary. thanks to you, the scandal was wrapping up in just about a week instead of stretching for god knows how long, causing possibly irreparable damage to jeonghan's public image. the company should be happy, you argued.
"they never will be," jeonghan muttered to you, and you huffed in the back of the black car. minho was the one behind the wheel, and you both knew he was on your side, but the conversation was hushed nonetheless. "the fact that you publicly confirmed that you were dating seventeen's yoon jeonghan is the issue."
you rolled your eyes. "i didn't even confirm that."
he eyed you, a vague smile on his lips. "you spoke pretty intimately about that photo that surfaced of him and his beau."
"whatever," you said. "i didn't say your name, or mine. or his, even. and i deleted it."
he held your hand. "i saw another headline about it today."
"not my fault," you sighed. "news cycles are slow. audiences get bored. not my fault."
"you're right," he agreed, kissing the back of your hand quickly and looking out the window. "the headlines are gonna be even more interesting after today."
he had decided on the statement. he required your input, of course, and the meeting you were headed to was the last of several to sort out the details before it went live. he had considered a press conference, but you thought that was a bit much, even for you two. he agreed with you, but not before pretending to stand in front of a podium and microphone in his dorm room, leaving you giggling on his bed while he announced to you that the two of you were in love.
he wrote a letter, as well, addressed to carats and any other members of the public that were affected by the news and events while he was on hiatus, and it was released ten minutes after the official statement. he apologized for the distress and misunderstanding, and he promised to be more careful and diligent in the future. it wasn't his fault, you told him, not even in the slightest, but he said that he would rather take responsibility and apologize fully than have to skirt around the uncomfortable details of your involvement. who was actually to blame didn't matter, he said. the important thing was that everyone knew he was being genuine.
the most important thing to you was that he was going to be able to go on tour.
the statement said that the original poster of the abuse claims was currently in police custody, pleading guilty to stalking and defamation based on his own confession. it confirmed that the claims made of jeonghan acting inappropriately were falsified, apologized for the trauma this event may have caused, and that he would be resuming group activities as normal. it then said that yoon jeonghan of seventeen wished to share that he was in a relationship with the intention to marry, and that both him and his partner had the full support of the company. they asked for respect and privacy for the couple.
in jeonghan's letter, he said that he always has been and always will be grateful for the love that carats show him, because it was one that could never compare to anything else. he said he would continue to love carats the same as he always had, that he hoped they would be understanding enough to return the favor, and that he wanted to see them again soon.
your first day on set was harder than you thought it would be. people asked you how you were doing, having seen the news and noticing that you were the only one not at the office when they got alerted of the production delay the week before, putting together the puzzle pieces while avoiding bringing it up directly with you. you told them you felt rested from the surprise break and ready to get back to work, but you could feel them talking when you were just out of earshot, whispering about how you must have been the one dating an idol. how else would they interpret the scandal paired with your unexplained absence? eunsong had your back, interrupting conversations when she noticed them happening, but as the morning went on, you were less worried about the talk and more about the shoot, setting up for the episode that you had been helping prepare for before the pause on production. in all honesty, you were just glad to be back to work.
then jeonghan showed up to set.
people had been kind to him while dressing him, doing his makeup. commenting that they saw the awful things about him and that they didn't believe it for a second. he thanked them politely, and let the silence settle because, truly, he wasn't a morning person, and it had been a while since he had to be anywhere, much less before noon. but then they would fidget, and hum, and ask as casually as a three piece suit who his partner was.
you were instructing production assistants just behind the cameras while eunsong was briefing the boys about the episode on set, and you were pretty focused on answering one of their questions when jeonghan slipped past a camera and walked up to you.
"hey," he interjected urgently. he glanced at the pa before focusing on you. "don't hate me."
your brow furrowed. "what's up?"
"just-" he let out a breathy chuckle, grabbing your hand. "just don't hate me, okay?"
"jeongha-"
"everyone!" he projected into the room, pulling you with him past the cameras, back on set to be in view of the whole production team. you made eye contact with seungkwan, who was staring at you with the biggest surprised grin on his face. "excuse me, i would like to say a few words before we start today. as you have all heard," jeonghan started, spinning to face everyone and positioning you by the shoulders to stand beside him. "and i know you have, because you've all asked me about it - i am in a relationship." he clasped his hands together, and you had to put a fist over your mouth and pretend to cough to not laugh. "to answer some questions i've gotten from all of you; yes, it's real. no, i don't abuse them. and yes," he pulled you into his side, an arm around your shoulders. "they work among us."
this situation would have been enough to kill you a month earlier. you would have been sweating bullets, wishing you could do something to stop jeonghan from revealing the secret you kept so well for so long. but perspective was everything, you realized. and when you were standing next to jeonghan, even the eyes of everyone you worked with on you wasn't enough to break you down - though you could see the rest of his members' varied stifled reactions off to your left, and you had to do your best to ignore it in order to save face.
"i trust you'll all be professional about this, as the two of us have been for the past year. also," jeonghan put a finger in the air. "if you have any questions beyond that, don't. let's work hard today."
you shrugged his arm off your shoulders, making him chuckle at you as you rolled your eyes. "alright, everyone," you announced, gesturing a hand in the air to trigger movement. "first marks in five."
people jumped into action, trying not to maintain focus on the two of you despite the curious air on the sound stage, not wanting to incite the wrath of either of you. you turned and squinted at jeonghan, making him raise his hands in surrender. "i said don't hate me."
you backed up slowly, heading back to where you were before he interrupted. a smile creeped on your face. "i don't."
he grinned at you. "talk to you after work?"
you shrugged when you turned away from him. "maybe," you said, and he was left with a dopey smile on his face while you sauntered away.
"repeat that question," you said, approaching the assistant that you had been speaking to.
she stared at you, eyes wide and face red. "i- um, sorry, one second-" she fiddled with the piece of equipment she had been asking you about, trying to reorient herself. "sorry i just-" she looked at you. "you're getting married?"
you couldn't help but laugh. "um, he hasn't technically asked me yet," you admitted, remembering that the statement had mentioned marriage. "but i don't think i'll ever dump him, and that was his idea, so…"
she blinked at you, her face painted with awe, and you were overly aware of the fact that she was in seventeen's exact demographic. "you're so lucky."
normally, you would use that as an opportunity to tease jeonghan behind his back, say something about how you barely put up with him. to complain about all the times he calls you at three in the morning, or how he sticks his finger in your mouth when you yawn. say he almost burnt down your kitchen the week you moved in because he dropped half a panjeon on the burner, or that you were stuck sleeping in his dorm room with three other guys always barging in and bugging you until you found a new place to live. instead, you looked over to where eunsong was finishing her explanation, where jeonghan stood listening to her carefully. you watched him cough into his sleeve, catching your eyes briefly and smiling before refocusing on eunsong.
"yeah," you sighed. "i am pretty lucky."
I'M CRYING


















