Out with the old. I’ve been exploring 2016 as an effort to find out what constitutes being a complete person. With all the different people I’ve been - been with - been inspired by - imitate - and rebelled against - I’ve experienced some fracturing.
After 37 years, you start having a hard time keeping it all together in your head. Who am I supposed to be at work, at home, with Bailey, with fans, at bear events, at dinner with coworkers, with friends. At some point, you aren't looking 5-feet ahead, you are looking 100 feet ahead - to the future of your life and what you need to do to give your life meaning.
In short - I’m getting older, and the bullshit of my 20s firmly behind me. I hate nostalgia. I hate indulging the has-been might-of-been coulda-woulda-shoulda stuff. I don’t do regrets and I hate backtracking. I can be proud of my accomplishments as a porn star and figure in the bear community without needing to wear it as the first layer of skin people see, so to speak.
I am not leaving anything behind. I am making room for more of who I am as a person moving into their 40s. I need to be able to express more of my interests, ideas, and fantasies. I need a showcase to show off who I am as a complete person - and establish it as a place that is more accessible.
There’s that buzzword - “Accessible” - it usually means a negative thing. Games get nerfed and hardcore players lose skill-level learning curves, movies shed continuity and retcon fan favorites, programs lose niche features. Whole ideologies change and the long-term fans lose something and feel their time has been wasted. Done to usually attract new fans and new money and stop waste. But also done to make room for new ideas and new features. New directions that weren't reachable while the course was set down an old path.
To be brutal - I need a place where my co-workers, family, and neighbors can come to explore who I am - without getting an eye full of my mating equipment. I also need a place to respect fans too - the people who fill me with confidence and pride and put me on the map. You let me explore the state our state of humanity with every post in my Ask box. I am not leaving you behind, but we need to make room for the whole person I am trying to be.
I give you, my new Tumblr: http://theHADRIANshow.com
So what about this old Tumblr? It’s done. This is the last post here. It is not going away. There is a ton of material here that will stand as an archive. The Ask feature is disabled. Any Asks that have been submitted might be mined for use in the new Tumblr. Asks are enabled on the new Tumblr. At the same time, the spirit and new content of this Tumblr will live on!
Here is the first question I am going to get: “Where can I find porn of you?” - well, there is a ton of it out there already. Yes, I only get hotter as I get older, and you wanna see the new hotness - not stuff from when I was 19. Who wants a Puppy-Michael when you can have a Daddy-Hadrian. Well, you are in luck. The irony of exploring how to be a “Complete Person” means I had to explore segregating my online presence.
I give you, my other new Tumblr: http://theHADRIANx.tumblr.com
Yep - the porn blog is the side-piece. The back room. The dark rain slick alley. The bathroom stall way at the end with the hole in the partition to it’s neighbor. The anonymous craigslist ad. The dirty little secret. The hidden folder you hide in the C:\Windows\System32 folder. The glance you give your neighbors’ junk at the urinals. Don’t be mistaken: I ain’t ashamed. It’s this way because I want everyone to land somewhere “safe” first. I am also against the limitations of Tumblr. I wanted a single login to manage both blogs - this is the best way to do it.
From these two blogs, you can get a complete picture that lets me be someone who can express themselves in different ways to a variety of people. You want porn, you want politics, you want to ask for advice, you want to whisper sweet nothings - you now have an place to do it.
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