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chrysalism
wyhoseok
He was grateful for the gentle approach, the otherâs voice quiet so it didnât startle him or made him feel unwanted. Though he felt bad for his constant apologizing, he almost did it again, only just able to bite down into his lip and keep quiet. Instead he managed a shy nod, placing his hands between his thighs to stop himself from fidgeting. The rain was still steadily coming down, pattering against the windows. Despite the unfamiliar surroundings, it gave him a sense of comfort, especially with the plants around him. Like an indoor rain forest. But dry. He frowned at his own thoughts.
Hoseok managed a weak smile at the otherâs joke and forced himself to lift his head slightly. He had the habit of trying to make himself as small as he could manage, always shrinking in his spot to try and take up less space. To disappear from judgmental eyes. âThank youâŚâ He breathed out again, slowly moving his hands back up onto the table and tugging his sleeves over them so he could carefully wrap them around the cup. He barely dared to touch the porcelain, however, feeling like it was too pretty. It looked too breakable. And despite always being exceptionally careful with everything, he still couldnât help but worry.
At the question, he blinked slowly, at first assuming that maybe it was another joke. Then he felt his cheeks flush a hot red and averted his gaze back to the table. âIâ Ah⌠Iâm in college, actually.â He shyly corrected, picking up the cup of tea even though it was definitely still too hot to drink. Again, he just needed something to keep his hands busy. âI, um⌠I only had one class today.â He then continued, still avoiding the otherâs eyes, despite his head screaming at him that he was being rude. âItâs okay, though. I mean, um, Iâm nineteen, so⌠It happens. The- The confusion, I mean.â
Ears dyed carmine. Expression flinched. College. Right. The florist might have been the one more embarrassed by the confusion, as he was always making such simple social mistakes; always feeling foolish in result. While the student avoided eyes, Roy couldnât help but doubt if it was his own awkward behavior causing the youngerâs discomfort. In this thought he turned his eyes away, too. â Ah.. My mistake. â
Nineteen. His tongue twisted and mind warped to a hungry nostalgia soon followed by a bittersweet retrospect. All the things he would tell his younger self if given the opportunity, though words would never fix his mistakes. 'Live and learn' he reminded himself before he would project his sour regrets or ill advice on to the other. â I went to school here, too. â Eight years ago. â I liked it. Better than Seoul. â
After retrieving his own cup from the counter, he returned to refill it. In a meticulous order, he added honey and a light amount of sugar, gave it a stir, then squeezing a slice of lemon over the tea before dropping it in. Well, he was just trying to keep his hands busy, much the same. â What are you studying? â
his dreaming eyes flicker like stars in the sky, and, I wonder what worlds is he bringing to life?
Š SoulReserve 2017 | alive inside a poetâs dream (via soulreserve)
wyxkisung
Heâs staring at Roy, daring him to spit back at him. And when he does respond, Kiâs holding in a laugh. ÂŤYou hurt In-su. Which is a million times worse than hurting me. All he ever did was love and care for you and you dumped him like a load of fucking trash on the corner. Do you expect any of his friends to be nice to you?Âť He feels like shoving the other but knew In-su would be pissed off if he did. ÂŤYou made him cry, Roy. That man is like my fucking brother. youâre lucky Iâm not punching you because if someone hurt my sister like that, iâd have killed them.Âť
Kisung hadnât realized how livid heâd be seeing the other, but he was steaming with anger. He was protective of his family, and In-su was family. And the little asshole in front of him had broken his heart⌠which immediately put him on his shit list.
Punch. Kill. With each threat, the florist retreated a step backward, desperate for distance between him and a raging bull. Roy could practically see the heat rising in the air around the other, thickening by the second. That along with piercing eyes brought the hairs on his neck to stand straight. While Kisung was a seething fire ready to burn, Roy on the other hand was frozen to ice, a winter sculpture stuck in time. At risk for melting into nothing.
â I meanâ Iâ â  Already he was shrinking. Hands fumbled with the DSLR camera in his grasp, nearly dropping the device in his flounder. What could he possibly say? There were no excuses for the promises broken, for the pieces he shattered and left behind. In his nervous guilt his voice became hoarse. â Youâre right. Iâm selfish. â
wyhwamin
her silent savior, thatâs what he was to her. never complaining when she asked, never asked for very much in return and was always there when she needed him. clinging to him as if her life was on the line. after that day when he found her, she tailed him like a little duckling following its mother. in a sense it really was as if she had found her mother.
her actual mother was too busy writing a novel to really worry about how her daughters were coping with the move to a new city. she had felt lost for the first couple of months she was there, had been left to her vices and found herself wandering the city trying to find a place that she felt like she actually belonged, yet she was always home before dark. on the day he found her, she had wandered a bit too far, followed too many bright lights and new wonders until the point where she had forgotten which direction âhomeâ was and sat down on a park bench, wondering if her mother would find her. was she even really looking?
in the end it was him who found her instead, âhi oppaâ she had said simply, the disappointment hidden behind the simple words as she took his hand. she hadnât let go ever since.
âmmm⌠yes, sounds very disbelieving indeed,â she mumbles softly at his complaint, feeling as if letting him complain to her every once in awhile was the least she could do after all heâd done for her over the years, âiâm more surprised that you actually agreed to the job in the first place.â
she chuckles softly at his next comment, âno, not at all. i feel like a child again, lost and wandering around aimlessly,â she admits, as her eyes sweep over the store once again, âexcept this time i know oppaâs coming to get me, right?â
âokay, iâll wait for you by the wood, see you soon.â
âhi oppa,â she responds without looking at him, nudging him back gently with her elbow in greeting. simple words that always portrayed more than she would ever let on. gratitude, admiration, adoration, just to name a few things, none of the things she would ever actually voice to the boy standing next to her now.
she pulls up the images and directions on her phone to show him, scrolling through the different screenshots that she had taken of the description of the video.
âsee, iâm trying to make this bed frame here⌠but i have no idea where to startâŚâ
Stumped. This sort of task was not his forte. Perhaps he could be called crafty with all the inspiration he takes in his work, however this was beyond a DIY craft. It was carpentry. The extent of his experience would be when he mounted shelves in the studio over a year ago. A solid job but did she remember? Did she call him because she actually believed he'd be any good at this sort of thing? As his mind cycled through these thoughts, he landed on a notion of flattery. Of course, he was being modest.
â I donât blame you, â  his words were only mumbled past his lips, trying to get an idea from the photos displayed on screen. As always, the doubt rooted deep within his mind surfaced. â Have you ever done anything like this before? Maybe you should start with something smaller.. â
After confiscating her phone and scrolling through the instructions, a sliver of confidence rose in him. Perhaps it wouldn't be that difficult, he was an educated man, he could figure it out; and it was what Hwamin wanted, afterall. Then he slowly looked up toward the towering aisles of walnut, oak, pine, aspen, all different sizes and with small-print labels tiring to read. He tugged at the collar of his shirt and began to sweat. â Did you know what colors, what kind of wood you wanted to do? Thatâd be a good place to start. Maybe stay away from black walnut. Allelopathic species and all. â
wyinsu
âYup.â He pops the P, catching two rice cakes between his chopsticks and tucking them into his mouth. âUnless you want to move to Mars.â Prior to meeting Roy, In-su had only every paid attention to flowers aestheticallyâthe spread and fall of petals, the right shades of color to paint or pierce them on skin. But Royâs opened up a new world of meanings and messages in the blooms. SureâIn-su used to think flowers as a gift were frivolous. Too temporary, too expensive,but now he can appreciate the thoughtful intent behind using another language, ephemeral and beautiful, to communicate.
Stillâhe prefers his plants in pots.
âDoesnât seem fair.â Heâs thirsty, and his lips burn from the spice of the tteokbokki so he has to swallow to clear his throat. âWhy do bunnies get a special throw down word? What about birds.â He cocks his head, mock-serious. âOr hippos.â Itâs a random turn of conversation ( typical Roy ) and In-su drags a hand through his hair. âWeâre gonna have to come up with something.â
â Well.. huh.. the most research Iâve done on the Sahara is, â and he wasnât proud of this, â the thousand times Iâve seen The Lion King. But thatâs all the education I need right? Youâd think Iâd have earned at least a certificate by now. â Blathering away, he effortlessly fell back into their rhythm, leaning forward on the counter as he continued to eat and do a search on his battered-up phone.
â Here, so a group of hippos- hippopotamus- is called a âbloat.â â In his amusement, his nose wrinkled, eyes bowed, chin angled to share a smile, however the unintended closeness had him withdrawing quickly, sliding back to his side of the island. â Iâd call it a bloat blowup. â With a crooked twist in his expression, he looked to the other for approval. â Or! Iâve got one for crows: a murderous squabble. Top that one.â Â
wyinsu
âKnowing how much you eatââ In-su slides the offered chopsticks the rest of the way across the counter, waiting for Roy to take a bite before reaching out for a piece himself. ââpretty sure thereâd be leftovers anyway.â
The drone of Royâs voice is soothingâhushed and quiet, contrasted by the radiance that shines on the floristâs face as he points out hellebore and winter rose, injury and poison. Roy wears the undeniable passion for the blooms under his care well, never looking more alive. And In-su props his chin on the back of one hand and nods in all the right places.
Heâs not sure what Royâs getting at with holding tongues, and heâs uncertain if heâs supposed to push. So he takes another bite of rice cake before letting out a slow huff of air. âIâve missed this.â Itâs out before he can catch himself, and In-su tries to recover with a flippantâ âI always walk away from your TED Talks feeling smarter.â
Those words left him all too happy and guilty. While the artist moved past those three words hastily, Roy lingered on him for a moment longer. Only a concurring hum came from him before busying his mouth with another bite of tteokbokki, buying time for him to think on his next words. â Not everyone tolerates the plant talk. I mean.. Itâs only our Earth, right.. Wouldnât be much without them. â Translation: Iâve missed this, too.
â Oh! Okay.â Suddenly he remembered something, causing him to perk up in excitement. â So the word âkerfuffleâ is a dispute between two or more parties. And a group of wild bunnies, â he displayed with his hands how itty bitty baby rabbits were, â is called a âfluffle.â So if three or more bunnies got into a fight, it could be considered a âfluffle kerfuffle!â â He gave a thumbs-up, though a little embarrassed with what heâs shared. â This concludes my TED Talk. â Translation: I've been waiting to tell you this.
wyinsu
âhavenât had an appetite lately. In-suâs smile is wry. Crooks higher on the right as he cants his head. âReally? Couldnât tell.â Tone dry with a lingering, resigned fondness. His fingers work at the knot of the plastic bag ( itâs tied too tight ) before he gives up and rips it open down the side. Thereâs only one styrofoam container. Only one set of chopsticks. He hasnât bought for two in awhile.
âYouâre welcome.â And the invitation startles him. Just like old timesâand thatâs dangerous. The lines here are blurred and In-suâs already smeared them further by stopping by, bringing Roy who by all intents and purposes is an ex who wanted space.
What the fuck are you doing, In-su.
In a last ditch attempt to get his hands on the situation, he points out, âDonât think thereâs enough to share.â But because heâs predictable ( always digging for scraps of attention ), he smooths outâ âBut Iâve got an hour before my first session. I can stick around if you want.â
As always, he had a hard time accepting gifts and help. â Thatâs silly. You paid for it, we can at least share. â It only took him a few seconds to reach through the back door leading into the studioâs office and storage, retrieving an extra set of chopsticks that had gone unused before. After sliding them across the counter, thin fingers worked to remove the lid then breaking chopsticks evenly. His face showed he was pleased by warmth and aroma, taking a careful bite without over-bearing hesitation.
â Right. So. This is hellebore. You mightâve heard it before as a âwinter roseâ although.. itâs not related to traditional roses at all. â He gulped down bird-sized bites and moved the arrangement in progress to where they could both observe it. â Itâs name means âto injure.â Log it in your journal: Poisonous. âÂ
â As for what it says.. â Fingers brushed by blooms drooping and moody. â Maybe Iâve held my tongue on too many things. â
wyinsu
Nostalgicâthe methodological glide of hands as the noona working the grill stirs, scoops, packs the tteokbokki into plastic containers for In-su to take, the steam ghosting past the cracks, heat bleeding into his palms as he bows his thanks and stalks off to the flower shop two blocks from the stall.
On his wayâheâs always claimed. But itâs at least 5 minutes off his route, and he knows Royâs always been aware that In-su wanders off his usual way to work to pick it up. The path itself is so familiar (eyes closed he can probably find it) and, ah, itâs almost like a fever dreamâthe familiarity of pushing through the entryway of the flower shop, cloying smells of jasmine, the crisp bite of mint as he brushes through the touch of leaves and petals towards the front counter.
And there he isâ
Slender, bird-boned hands skimming to snip, adjust, guide the flowers into temporary art pieces. Heâs always been fond of themâspread of fingers, soft palms, delicate wrists. The sketches tucked away under his bed are a testament to his devotion to Royâs hands.
âWhatâs it trying to say?â His voice cuts through the quiet. Subdued. Dragging low with that early morning coarseness from disuse. âThe arrangementâwhatâs the message?â Each flower speaksâa letter written in the blooming color of petals. Roy taught him that. And theyâd met in spring, so In-su isnât familiar with the language of winter flowers. But this one is the color of the bite of teeth on skin, purpled bruises spreading open.
He sets the bag of tteokbokki  on the counter.âNoona packed you extra. She said you hadnât stopped by in awhile.â
Bamboo chimes must have gotten tangled up or caught on the door, for the florist didn't notice the other's arrival until a low sweeping voice flooded his ears. As startled as he was, overwhelmed by swelling memories unbound, his head snapped to look in the younger's direction, eyes adhering to dark orbs and a lazy posture. Deer in the headlights. In his surprise he stuttered awkwardly before shifting his sight toward the counter in fear his gaze lingered for too long. Quit sneaking up on me. Roy knew he couldn't push anymore. â This is.. for me? â Of course it was. A curl melted into his lips though he shied to keep it minimal.
â I guess.. I havenât really had an appetite recently. â Obviously. â Did noona really notice? Now I feel bad. â He would get back to the topic of flowers soon enough, preoccupied by the gesture brought to him. â Ah.. Thank you. You know you didnât have to-- â He cringed at his own words and rubbed his neck sheepishly. Somehow he had to get a grip. â Are you in a rush? Or do you think you have time to eat with me? â
wyxminah
âWhy not a rose?â Minah asks, eyes boring into his as she continues to try and hold his gaze while he continued to evade her own. âAccording to a myth, there were only white roses until Aphrodite pricked herself on accident on her way to save her lover, Adonis. With that blood, the red rose came to life.â The femaleâs delicate fingers brush her stray strands of hair away from her face, tucking them behind her ear as she spoke.
âI wonder if you ever took some time to actually look at yourself in the mirror. Honestly, you should.â A smile gracing her lips as she watched him tend to his work. Making a masterpiece before her eyes. They sparked with admiration for the male, even though, he doesnât seem to realize how he too, blooms along with the flowers that surround him.
âYouâve always had a fair complexion that can be compared to ivory at the very least. But being surrounded by flowers give you life, turning a white rose into a red one.â Laughter spills from her lips, shoulders shaking as she stood there in pure delight. Finally, she quiets down but the graceful smile lingers upon her reddened lips. âBut who am I to speak of flowers like I know them. If anything, youâre the one who knows better than I do.â She shrugs her shoulders and patiently stands there.
Letting the comfortable silence consume her, but what he said continues to bother her. He chooses to be a shrinking violet instead of a rose. But why? Of course, he doesnât see himself the way others do. Still, she feels as if there was a certain need for her to remind him that heâs not just a flower that one can easily overlook.
âIf not a rose, then maybe Babyâs Breath? Theyâre small but they make such a difference. People might think theyâre just there to make other things stand out but theyâre beautiful on their own too, if you ask me.â Tapping her long fingers against the counter, neatly manicured nails making small and gentle noises while she continues to think to herself. Snapping her fingers as another flower comes to mind.
âMarigold! According to one drama I watched, it means, happiness will definitely come.â Chuckling as she finds it silly that she keeps distracting by saying nonsense things.
â Flashback to the nineteenth century. You sound like a Victorian woman.â Overwhelmed by her rambling, he found it hard to keep up with all her dialogue. Even on the topic of flowers, of all things, he managed to get himself lost, fumbling with a wooden box base as he listened patiently. Perhaps it was the comment on his complexion that threw him off the most. He had always been pale, sickly, but to be called out on it caught him off guard.
â A drama? Thatâs interesting.â All of his attention went into working and shaping wire into the vessel, as he had done a thousand times, then pondering over the focal he would choose. â I donât really watch any dramas, but I have a few books on the language of flowers. Theyâre around here somewhere. â He would never read them but they came in handy when customers were stuck on making their own Turkish love letters. A silly endeavor in his eyes, though he would never deny to help.
Shuffling across the studio, he picked a few greens to start with, magnolia leaf being one of them, plucking a stem of white hydrangea the way. As he slid them into place, he pondered all sheâd spoken, how she attached to the poetic side of flowers as opposed to their biology. â Serious question: Do you believe there's a meaning to everything? Or that it's important to have meaning? â
wyxkisung
Ki was good with faces. Especially when the face was of someone who his best friend had dragged around and introduced him to. Especially when the face was of the kid who had left said best friend broken hearted. Had simply continued to confirm to him that everyone left, leaving him unable to open up again.
Now Ki wasnât a violent person. But that didnât stop him from wanting to punch the guy who had broken In-suâs heart. A passing feeling he wouldnât have acted on regardless. And yet, heâs making his way over, all stony features and down turned lips. ÂŤIâm surprised heartless trolls like you leave their cave.Âť
The forthcoming of winter was always a special time of year as it delivered with it the awareness of time passing and a yearning for needed change. These were feelings the florist was not spared from, occupying his mind with every piercing gust of wind. Even as he was out taking photos of the city dressed in lights and wreaths adorning, these same notions recurred to him again in the early evening's dark. Time wasted and change overdue. Guilt had leeched on to him fast, suckling on to the little vitality he had to spare. What could he do? The Earth around him had weighed him down and ailed him, but also presented to him inspiring greens and heavenly glows. In his appreciation ( and he really needed to know there was still something good in the world ) he brought his camera out to snap his hometown in it's holiday style, reminiscent of past years when he felt less empty. Then he was bitten by a wolf.
His every muscle locked up as he recognized the other, clutching his camera close to his chest. Mouth agape. Eyebrow twitching. Confrontation wasn't a common occurrence in his life, and having his past relationship thrown in his face was teeth on his back. Looking to Kisung now, with animosity brooding in his eyes, contrasted to the man he knew before. Wellâ The more he thought about it, the more Roy questioned if he was ever actually liked or accepted into that group of people. Maybe he wasn't. Still, seeing a once friendly face spit at him now twisted his gut into mulch. Anxiety choked him. What awful things did they say about him now? And as for the ex he wanted to reconcile with, he had to be part of it, right?
Hurt painted over his expression despite all his fight to keep it hidden. He had never been too good at masking his emotions. Just above a whisper, his words came uneasy, â Is that how it is? â  His lips pressed into a firm line and he swallowed thickly. â I guess I deserve it. Though.. I donât remember ever hurting youâ â
chrysalism
wyhoseok
His cheeks were burning and he forced himself to give a timid nod â against the urge to run out into the rain; which really sounded a lot better than having to stand here and make a fool of himself. Bother this person with his presence. Hoseok mentally slapped himself for the negativity in his head and tried to stop his mind before it could begin to spiral. It wasnât going to help anyone if he allowed that to happen. He still felt like an intruder, however. Clearly the other was in the middle of trying to enjoy a cup of tea and heâd just disturbed that.
The brunet shyly bit down into his lower lip, eyes wide with anxiety as he looked around, though it was only to avoid eye contact. Which would be worse, though? Accidentally meeting the maleâs eyes or him looking too nosy? The thought made him avert his gaze to the floor, made him want to speak up and apologize for the disturbance. Run straight out the door. But it was like he was frozen in place, his body tense. Which in its turn made him too aware of what he looked like to the other. Nineteen year olds werenât supposed to act like this â werenât supposed to care about anything but their grades and future. Shouldnât be occupied with the worldâs perception of them and the weight of feeling so insignificant.
He didnât like chamomile tea but he still nodded, afraid of being rude. âTh-Thank you.â He managed quietly, forcing his body back into action and pushing himself to move towards the table. It took a good minute before he gathered the courage to slide back a chair as quietly as he could manage and carefully sat himself down. Assuming that was what was asked of him, though he couldnât help but instantly doubt his own actions. Was he allowed to sit here?
Hoseok shyly put his bag down at his feet and pulled his sleeves over his hands. The sound of the rain was still comforting him a little, but it definitely wasnât enough to rid him of all his anxiety. âIâm⌠Iâm sorry to bother you like this.â He eventually spoke, voice barely above a whisper. âI should have, ah⌠checked the forecast.â
â Go ahead. Get comfortable. â In a hush sound he urged the teenage boy into settling in. There was no need for hesitance, not in Roy's mind anyway. Such a thing was far too limiting; He was all too familiar with it, and seeing the younger struggle now he wondered if he himself appeared similarly. Some flowers open toward the sun, others only come out to greet the moon. So what were they? Forever shrinking perhaps; Masked behind petals blushing and lonely.
â Don't apologize. It's not necessary.. I'll be just a minute. â Low. His words swept so subtle. With all the damage to his airways, the voice he carried never rang strong enough to fill the room. In gentle time, he took no rush in placing his mug on the front counter then disappearing through a curtain toward the back. It didn't take him long to prepare it, bringing back a tray that carried the ceramic teapot, sugar, honey, lemon, and individually wrapped candies.
â Chin up. The floors need sweeping-- maybe pretend you don't see the mess. â A light-hearted expression graced soft features, his half measure attempt at encouraging a down-facing flower to change it's ways. As if it would ever be so easy. In a smooth motion he placed a cup in front of the boy, one white and painted with a red-crowned crane, then filling it with amber-colored tea as he handled the teapot in an attentive manner. Silence rained between them and anxiety looped in the florist's head: You're not good at this. Conversation never flowed easy for him and he quietly blamed himself for the awkward behavior the teenager displayed. He mightâve made it worse with his mistake, â Is today a holiday? When I was in high school I only got out this early with a doctor's note. â
@wyinsu
wyinsu
[ âď¸ â đ¸ roy ] bring over peanut butter. heâll give you a pass [ âď¸ â đ¸ roy ] and sure just give a couple of days heads up. not usually home these days [ âď¸ â đ¸ roy ] âŚ.. a bear huh. guess itâs nice to have dreams [ âď¸ â đ¸ roy ]  bet she wonât complain having you over. will you survive all that fussing?
[ âď¸ â ⨠sirius ⨠] right. i donât know then. weâll see. [ âď¸ â ⨠sirius ⨠] she doesnât fuss like she used to. she has other things going on. [ âď¸ â ⨠sirius ⨠] you didnât cross your fingers for me.