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@hamlet-the-dane-official
i slept through father's day. both in denmark and most of the rest of the world. claudius asked me to go fishing with him and i told him that he possessed not nearly virile enough a worm to stir the fish to beat the water with amorous strokes and he sent for the physician
Studies show that kissing your scholar friend lowers anxiety and woes. I have the source: https://veryrealstudyOxford.com
...indeed? a study? and you've provided quite a trustworthy resource. i always appreciate a person who can cite their claims! very scholarly of you! ...i suppose one kiss couldn't hurt. in fact, it might help to clear my head! if horatio agrees, of course. i shall have to question him on the matter. for...the pursuit of science! and my own peace of mind, of course!
happy pride month hamlet. you know what that means
pride! you would say such a thing! point out my flaws! my sins! and then goading me with this -
...oh. that form of pride. the fare, rather than the fall.
no, no i don't know what that means! what does this have to do with me?!
Happy pride month, my lord!
...
they mean to force me to admit to a thing wholly unknown to them! they do but suspect that, perhaps, i gaze too long and too longingly at the men in my service. it is nothing more than that! i shall say much and admit nothing!
have you wished the same to your son, sir? even here in denmark, one does hear such fascinating things. they come to me on the breeze, see? on the wings of pigeons!
Are you gay for Horatio
..........joyful for him? happy...in that he is near to me and dwells well within my heart? well, certainly!
horatio is...a dear friend! strong and kind and clever! have you ever seen such a man before!?
happy pride month hamlet. you know what that means
pride! you would say such a thing! point out my flaws! my sins! and then goading me with this -
...oh. that form of pride. the fare, rather than the fall.
no, no i don't know what that means! what does this have to do with me?!
buy my new game. all proceeds go to steadily driving my uncle insane
oh cmon hamlet it’s not *all* bad
oh, great prophet.....is this my future?
i must procure a stringed instrument posthaste!
buy my new game. all proceeds go to steadily driving my uncle insane
my uncle killed my father and married with my mother and now i must *remembers that suicide jokes do nothing for my mental health and wellbeing* put on a play
Awkward and uncomfortable question incoming, feel free not to answer it but I'm trying to win a bet with a dead man
Do you have an incestuous relationship with your mother or can I tell Freud exactly where he can shove it? (his own mother, perhaps)
If you're unfamiliar with the work of Sigmund Freud, he's considered "the father of modern psychology" but modern psychology has well-deserved daddy issues
And I want to win a bet against him
awkward? uncomfortable? well, those are certainly two words for it...
how dare you even ask such a thing of me!?
this freud fellow is a fool! i am barely on speaking terms with my mother! and the last thing i wish to do is think of her and her own vile incest when i am stowed safely beneath my bedclothes!
ugh! even the thought leaves me close to vomiting... she's my mother! has anyone ever stopped to consider that any vitriol i possess towards her may be due to her betrayal of my father!? she has betrayed me in the process! worse. she has betrayed herself to lie so low... no, i do not wish to kiss or bed my mother
now, do win your bet. and please feel free to strike this freud beast for me
Prince hamlet...?
..........
what can i say? i have a magnetic personality and enough charm and wit to woo an entire court!
if a woman wishes to...er...pin me to a wall and call me "sweet prince", who am i to blame her...?
i am here to hear the wishes of all of my people, after all! though... should i ever meet a woman who says exactly as she means...
ah, well. it won't happen
when i sleep for three days and appear at dinner on the third night it's always "oh, hamlet, we're worried about you" or "get yourself together, people lose fathers all the time" but when jesus does it, it's a miracle
Omg did you hear the news?? King Claudius died???
.
.
.
.
...April Fools lol
...you speak true? that that dastardly descendant of the kings of old, that which did snuff out the life of my dear father...is dead?
what joyous news is this...!? i, unstained in the deed! oh, but i must shed a tear! for this sorry business may be done but it would not do for me to show my excitement!
i'll --
.................................................................
....ooooooh. oh, you are CRUEL. i'll give you a ten second head start!
RUN.
....when did we get another one?
ah, well! i do hope this one lasts longer than the last...but in denmark? while we do hold fools in high esteem, their lifespans are shortened by our cloying air
father? dead ✅
throne? usurped ✅
denmark? rotten ✅
notes? stolen ✅
what more can this cruel world take from me!?
i have been informed of yesterday's "international women's day" and i must say that i do believe more attention should be brought to the subject!
namely, the fact that you cannot have woe or man without women... we really should do something about that. perhaps i could suggest a nunnery?
Perhaps even. Name a woman frailty …?
you may very well be onto something with that...
none shall escape the List
this can only bode well on so inauspicious a day...
he may not be a roman senator but my uncle's appearance would be much improved by the sudden application of 23 or more stab wounds upon his person
i have been informed of yesterday's "international women's day" and i must say that i do believe more attention should be brought to the subject!
namely, the fact that you cannot have woe or man without women... we really should do something about that. perhaps i could suggest a nunnery?
Perhaps even. Name a woman frailty …?
you may very well be onto something with that...
