Haney Writes

Reflective personal essays that explore life in my 20s with warmth, honesty, and gentle humor. 🌱🌷✨

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The Quarter Life Essays #2

What can echo through time?

Back in college, a classmate and I had a similar commute route. We’d usually pass by a chapel to say a prayer before going to campus and after our last class dismissal for the day. It became especially part of our routine towards the end of our senior year praying for final exam scores and thesis defense outcomes.

Before graduating, the anxiety of the next chapter after college began to set in and our conversations often centered around what’s next. Where are we gonna go after this? What would our future workplaces be like? Would we feel welcomed by the people we’ll work with? Would we get hired not long after graduating?

With our usual chapel visits in mind, we agreed to pray for each other’s next chapter in life at our future workplaces. She emphasized the importance of praying for a good work culture and peaceful co-workers. We were both looking towards different professional paths. Each candle we lit in the chapel represented the worries we lifted up. Recognizing our futures were not in our hands alone but in His.

It was not long after graduation we found ourselves in the paths we wanted to be in. We’d face our own challenges in our respective workplaces. Learning to bloom where we were planted, rooted yet flourishing. Years later, we find ourselves still growing in our paths with a different set of eyes from the once clueless college girls we used to be.

Our priorities and wants shifting with the times as we navigated through life’s terrain. Catch-ups over hot chocolate becoming warm embraces of how life circles back to where we once were and to who we are now. On days I recall the simpler times as a student walking into the chapel to light a candle for my friend who was in a similar boat: anxious of the future. It makes me wonder if prayers echo through time; waves guiding us to our next destinations.

[haneywrites-blog]

The Quarter Life Essays #1

Is this a fully developed frontal lobe?

“Is this a fully developed frontal lobe?” I asked myself as I accepted that I have entered my mid-twenties. As I look back, I now know the things my younger self wished she knew as a teenager. If I could travel back in time, I would give a quick Ted Talk on how to go about things like self-doubt, fear, and anxiety. On the contrary, this likely wouldn’t benefit my natural trajectory towards learning from falling, failing, and fighting the urge to give up. If you’re wondering what a girl in her quarter life crisis has learned so far, you’re reading the right essay! 

I discovered there is no universal timeline. Subconscious comparison is such an enemy in my twenties and I am not afraid to admit it. As I scroll online, it’s hard for me to be devoid of the feeling of missing out on milestones I see my peers hit at my age. They’re travelling to places both local and abroad, achieving markers of progress in their careers, or even continuing their studies. There were times I couldn’t help but wonder if I was doing enough – If I was in the right place at the right time. 

Eventually, comparison shifted to curiosity about the sacrifices it took to be where they were. It painted a clearer picture that showed not a single path was identical to another. I began to see how people are driven by their unique priorities and values. Ultimately, not everyone is in the same stage of life and even if they were, they were never identical in circumstances, challenges, and opportunities. Social media may show you the fruits of their labor but not the sleepless nights or the hard days that led them there. 

I see time as a choice of inconvenience. As a working adult, it is difficult to allot time and energy to things outside of the office. My 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. on weekdays, along with my weekends, became a chess game I had to learn to play. I moved pieces around to keep everything on the board—my work, rest, relationships, hobbies, and other goals—with the hope of making sure things moved smoothly.

I kept running out of time and energy, all while trying to get enough rest. Rather than banking on convenience, I started to decide when things were worth the inconvenience. I saw this whenever my friends missed an earlier bus so we can take it together even if it means coming home at a later hour. The friends who want to hangout after work in spite of it being all of us tired together but eventually being energized by our own laughter. Even if it means, walking or waking up earlier or staying up a little late it makes all the difference. 

In those moments, I felt most alive when my only focus was to enjoy the present that our hardships should not rob us of. Although, I make time to rest up from working hard for most of the week. I embraced finding rest in the company of those who choose to inconvenience themselves as well. Whenever I am out late, my dad messages one word “Enjoy!”.   

I found ways to keep my feet on the ground. The older I got the more I found myself lost in my own worries and hyper fixated on my own stressors. For the first time in my life, there was no path to follow. No exams to ace, no academic level to go up next to, and not a single expected door to enter to. I often felt like I was running a race without a clear finish line. What was I rushing towards? It dawned on me I was trying to run away from the reality of stressors and factors I had no control over. 

I began to see the real world being a world of endless possibilities. I can soar towards the highest heights, possibly fall from them later on. Although, it was my choice whether to remain laying on the ground wondering how I got there or figure out how to get back up again. Perspective and self-belief is currency in a world that so often discourages us with its unfathomable realities. 

How do I keep my feet on the ground? I started to sit down with the anxiety, stress, and fear and acknowledge they’re there. However, I can still choose to move at my own pace; create my own path as I stroll through life. With this, I began to better appreciate the cards I am dealt with, the people I have the honor to be surrounded with, and art my heart was made to consume fully.