When Happiness Doesn't Always Happen to Iness @happ-iness - Tumblr Blog

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Waktu cek di dokter, turun sekitar 4-5kg. Kombinasi naik gunung+abis putus+stress ngurus aplikasi S2+cabut gigi+Pra PK LPDP.

Hai.

Recreating memories.

I keep thinking that sometimes people are just too attached to the certain kind of memories, not to the person they made those memories with.

You know, in fact, we cannot erase any memory which we have seen since the first time we opened our eyes (for some people, it has started from the first time they were born). Also, so far I know, people who have amnesia syndrome are not losing their memories. They are just unconsciously move those archive of memories to another spot of their brain which they cannot reach. Those archive could be restored, those memories could be recalled.

In contrast, if we have the ability to restore or recall certain memories, why don’t we also have the ability to bury them?

In my humble opininon, people in their normal condition (not in any kind of brain syndrome,mental diseas, etc) have the ability to control about how their brains work. In this case, to choose what they want to remember and ignoring memories that they do not want to remember.

Further, whether we do it unconsciously or consciously, we can assemble those memories with our perception. Therefore, I believe that we can recreate our memories.

For me, the easiest way to prepare your brain for the further re-creating memory thingy is to move those memories into your deepest storage. A storage in a room where you seldomly walk in. A room in the middle of a labyrinth where memories are very difficult to reach. From that point, you can start to assemble your memories with your perception.

A pathetic way to fool your own feelings, huh? Not really. I believe feelings are just a temporary state which is a manifestation of your brain’s hormone. Dopamine creates feelings of euphoria while adrenaline increase your heart rate, etc.

I have certain memories which I don’t want to remember, Pictures of events which I don’t want to recall, And sounds of celebrations which I don’t want to be reverberated, With someone that I want to forget.

I’ve put it in a storage, In a secret room, In the middle of a huge labyrinth, And I don’t even remember where did i put the map was.

in fact,

Have I ever made its map?

#personal

Looking at the recordings be like "Shit. I'm ugly as fuck."

This insecurity strikes again. No. Please dont. Not this time. I need to be focused with my scholarship thingy . No.

Nearly a month. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL. The everyday's tasks from them are really challenging (cry). You have no idea what challenges and pressures which we've been through during this pre-leadership programme. Seriously, LPDP's system of forming cadres is no joke. Their design is awesome. Two thumbs up. Therefore, I am beyond happy because it is such an honour to be a part of this prestigious scolarship. Counting days, I know I am getting closer to my dream. Wohoooo!!! Bismillah :) #LPDP #Lpdp_RI #Beasiswa

I:gue mau bawa kerak telor aja sebagai cinderamata Jakarta. R: gue mau nadahin air ujan ah. Mau gue masukin aqua botol. I: ha? Lu kan bekasi. R: iya. Bekasi kan cinderamatanya banjir operan dari bogor. Penting. Ditengah malam yang damai, Rizky ngirim foto ini. Katanya maskot biji kopi kayak gini bentuknya. Asli gue ngakak sampe terpingkal pingkal. Ini hideous banget ga boong. Ampaaaass bgt epenkah cupentoh. Huahahahah

You know where to call.

A: balas dendam itu rugi nes. A: kalo lo diem, dosa lo dihapus, dan Allah yang bekerja. A:kalo lo bales, lo dosa, rugi tenaga, dan belum tentu juga balesan lo tuh tepat hitungannya. A: bisa jadi lo bales ternyata ga sebanding ama yg udah dia lakukan. A: Allah yang paling tau kadar pembalasan yang tepat. A: biar Allah aja nes yang bales. Iya ya, jadi inget ayat Allah. Yunus: 21 Katakanlah "Allah lebih cepat pembalasannya" (At-Tīn):8 - Bukankah Allah Hakim yang seadil-adilnya? Andi dian rosahanditaa, mungkin satu satunya wanita yang tau detail rinci hidup gue. Bahkan terkadang, gue bisa ngabarin Andi duluan ketimbang ngabarin keluarga gue. Andi, teman yang tiap hari selalu mengingatkan untuk beriman kepada Allah. Semoga Andi dapet yang terbaik dalam hidupnya. Amin ya rabb :")

Memulai 2015 di UGD dengan 5 jahitan dan 3 suntikan. Kecelakaan kecil. Kata papa, kalau niat baik tidak dilaksanakan, biasanya dikasih sakit sama Allah sebagai penghapus dosa. Mungkin ini penghapusan dosa dari Allah supaya 2015 memulai dengan diri yang lebih baik? Amiiin :D

New year eve

31 Desember was a blast. I had come to my scolarship office at the morning (yes, I couldn't wait to meet the other awardee at the end of this January! ), went home, and spent the rest of the day with my friends. Karaoke, fireworks party and got lost in the middle of this city's crowd, ate most famous food in this city at 3 am, talked about life, silly things, laughed too much, got dizzy. Happy. And the most exciting thing is: Hopefully, I wont be in Indonesia at 00.00, 1 January 2016. I am getting closer to my dream. Insyaallah, bismillah :)

These two handsome guys always have my back. Though i’m a kind of introvert person, and not always tell them the details, yet Ikhlas and Bintang will always be my remedies :)

It is true. Boyfriend come and go, yet boy-friends stay.

Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you :)

Today’s prayer.

Funny thing happened this evening.

I took a glimpse to the past. It felt like hundreds of swords was stabbing my chest. It hurts.

Suddenly, less in a minute later, somebody added me to the whatsapp group. Turns out that group was a LPDP group! Finally they sent me an invitation of LPDP leadership programme! Yaaayyy.

I felt like God was whispering to my ear

"Little girl, this is the reason why I took those blessings from you. Now, I give you a present, so don’t be sad. I’m with you."

He answers my tears of pain in a second. Subhanallah.

Obrolan seperti ini harus di screenshot supaya jadi bukti siapa tau Ines sebagai Menteri Kebudayaan Indonesia dalam Kabinet ambisi 2030 bisa jadi kenyataan. Supaya jadi penyemangat juga kalo mulai meragukan kemampuan diri sendiri. Hehe. Long term goal yang udah gue set dari 2012. Semesta mendukung! Aminn.