Peter Solarz
KIROKAZE
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
JBB: An Artblog!
taylor price
AnasAbdin
pixel skylines
⁂
DEAR READER
will byers stan first human second
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
blake kathryn
Discoholic 🪩
NASA
d e v o n
art blog(derogatory)
trying on a metaphor
Sade Olutola
we're not kids anymore.
seen from Australia
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@harshwinterstorm
@secretsummerstarters
“Hey, we’re not actually open for another ten minutes.” Nina said as she heard the door open, keeping her focus on the task at hand.
“Sorry. I just wanted to check in on you. I didn’t think about the time.”
nxt-a-fairy-tale:
Jeff chuckled softly. “More like my years of being shot at.” He mused, before watching her take another drink. “You know you don’t have to stay in Baberton just for other people. You deserve to live your life, make your own decisions. They can always leave town to see you or you can come back to see them. It doesn’t have to be an all or nothing.” He offered. He sighed when she called him out for thinking he had more wisdom. “You can be cynical all you want, but the more you let yourself enjoy the little things, the more you’ll actually enjoy your life. I’m not going to apologize for wanting that for you.”
“I don’t abandon my family.” she said her voice turning very acidic on those words thinking about the people she loved and even if it wasn’t the same reason the thought of leaving them here just cause she hated it made her feel so much like Jimmy and she couldn’t stand that. She just chuckled. “What’s their to enjoy. We’re all fucked then we die. I’m not giving myself hope for me. It’s just heartbreaking when that hope ruined as it always will be.”
thisxpoison:
“Nothing. Just like I can’t hide anything from you.” Which was true, Brad couldn’t hide anything for her. Before he knew that she would have figured out that he was hiding who -A was. But he had tried to bring in Jamie before that happened. Brad honestly hated the fact that he had hurt her, he didn’t mean to do that. “Yeah, maybe it is. I don’t know to be honest. I just know that I love her, our daughter and I need them.” He knew how messed up it was confessing this to someone he loved once upon a time. “I wrote goodbyes because I never knew when my last day was going to be.” He told her softly because it was true.
“We know each other far too well.” she told him softly with a sad smile knowing how true it was and she almost wished it wasn’t that she could hide from him but she never had been able to. “You’ll have to introduce me one day.” she told him softly thinking about his daughter and how good a father he had to be. It was sweet to see. “I’m glad that day never came.”
thisxpoison:
“Right ex fiancé.” That hurt slightly but Jimmy understood that things would take time. “Just that he was in some place with someone else and it’s miracle that they are alive.” He had dropped the ball big time. But at least he was here trying now. Even if that didn’t mean anything to her.
“It is. He’s a bloody moron and should be dead.” she said though her voice was soft, careful. She didn’t believe it or want it but she worried it would happen again to the headstrong man. “He’s alive though with her” she said the world her coming out like poison on her tongue. “And he is happy and has someone he loves and his child and I know he’ll be a good father unlike the ones we’ve known.” she said simply knowing she sound resigned and she was happy for him just in the same moment far more heartbroken than she was really willing to even admit to herself.
nxt-a-fairy-tale:
Jeff looked over at her as he frowned. “I’m only forty five.” He chuckled, before shaking his head as he reached for the bottle and taking his own sip. “Though when it rains my body can certainly make me feel like I’m at least seventy.” He looked at her when she spoke about saving up, knowing how hard it was to do nowadays. “Why don’t you think you’re leaving now?” He asked, knowing that Brad wouldn’t want her to put her dreams on the line just because he was back. “None of us can imagine what they’ve been through.” He said quietly before letting out a small sigh. “Since you think I’m even older than I am, you should listen to my advice. It’s those small things that help make life worth living. There is nothing wrong with letting yourself enjoy things.”
“Really I suppose your partying days truly did age you.” she said reaching back for another drink. “Too many people I can’t leave behind. Too many people I need to be here for in Barberton that I can see will never leave.” she said the words dripping off her lips as a poison. It ended with Brad but it wasn’t just him. She had to be here to protect the people she loved. She raised her eye and snorted. “As if I think you have more wisdom because you’re older.” she said thinking about all the people she knew abandoned by their fathers who came back thinking they knew better. They were better. Jeffery was one of them but at least up until this point he hadn’t used his age, his position as a sperm donor into their conversations as a reason to respect him.
nxt-a-fairy-tale:
Jeff laughed softly. “The abuse I have put my body through certainly makes me feel a lot older than I am.” He admitted, giving her a small nod. “Do you live at home?” He asked, realizing that there was still so much he didn’t know about the people in his life. Jeff sighed softly, looking at her. “Yeah, I know the feeling. “ When she mentioned his family, he looked over at her, nodding in clarity. “I’m guessing he spoke to you about Sophie and her daughter.” He watched her wince as she took a sip. “I can get you a chaser if you like.” He offered, putting his phone down. “No, it’s just that you don’t really allow yourself to enjoy the small things.”
“What it makes you feel 51 and not 50.” she said in a joking manner. She nodded. “I was trying to save up enough money to get a flat to move in in London and living and helping my mum seemed easiest but now I’m probably staying put here so I really don’t need to save up like I thought.” she said thinking about that. She nodded after a moment. “He seems to love them very much. I’m glad he’s got the family he’s always wanted.” she said knowing how bitter she sounds even if the words are real. “I’m fine. Just inexperienced.” she said simply. “Small things are just that. Small. Insignificant. Not worth my time or energy.
nxt-a-fairy-tale:
Jeff looked at her, just once again glad that she had thought of him as a safe place for her to allow herself to fall apart. He nodded, picking up the bottle and reading the label. “I’m sure I could partake in some with you. But I’m far too old to get that drunk. I’d be out of commission for days.” He admitted with a small laugh. He nodded at her comment about too many feelings. “I know. It was hard for me to even leave the hospital the first night. I was sure that something would happen and he would somehow be gone again.” He sighed, shaking his head softly. “You not having a favorite pizza topping is a very you thing.” He laughed, ordering the food.
“I forgot you were such an old man.” she said trying to fill it with her usual sarcasm and bite but the comment, joke, fell flat freom her lips. “You don’t have to get that drunk I just need to not think for a little before I can face my mother again.” she said thinking of the pitiful looks her mother and Jimmy and Maggie were going to give her it made her sick. “He won’t be. I’m not letting him disappear again.” she said the words final as if she held the power to keep him there and safe. “Him and his family will be safe.” she said before opening the bottle and taking a drink from it wincing obviously not an experienced drinker. “I don’t know what that means Jeff. It sounds vaguely like some kind of insult.
nxt-a-fairy-tale:
Jeff shook his head softly as he watched her pull both bottles out. “I think you’ll probably only need one of those at a time.” He mused. He shook his head as he moved to sit down on the couch with her. “I’m not telling you to leave and you are spending the night here, especially if you are going to drink both those bottles.” He pointed out. “Brad being back certainly brings up a lot of emotions. I’m sure it has for you as well.” He pointed out. When she agreed to the pizza, he nodded, grabbing his phone and calling to place the order. “Favorite toppings?”
“I’m probably not going to drink them both but who knows how hard it is for me to actually get blackout drunk.” she said letting him know her plans. “You can have any I’ll hate myself and probably leave any in the morning.” she said simply. She was looking down at her hands and not at him. “Way too many.” she admitted with a sigh. “Whatever. I’ve never put much thought into it.”
that sounds like love to me…
@thisxpoison @thesophiebaker
nxt-a-fairy-tale:
Jeff smiled softly, turning on the lights in the living room and motioning for her to sit on the couch. “I don’t mind.” He promised, moving to sit down with her. He appreciated the fact that when she’d needed a safe place, she’d chosen him. H gave her a small smile when she said she didn’t want to be alone. “I know the feeling, I’m glad you came over. I can order us a pizza or something?”
She nodded as she came in setting the bag down on the coffee table pulling both bottles out. “Thanks.” she said after a moment. “Tell me to leave if I’m too bothersome please. You’re probably overjoyed to have your son back and I’m here being a total downer.” she said sitting down. “That would be nice.” she said it was the first time she hadn’t given any fight. Any sass. She was just tired tonight and she couldn’t feel it in her to do so.
thisxpoison:
“You are one of the most smartest people that I know.” Brad told her, it was true. She was. “Right. Got it. Not hiding things anymore. That also means you can’t hide things from me anymore either.” It was a promise, he wasn’t going to hide anything from her anymore. Everything that they had been through seemed to play in his mind right now. Even as she placed the chaste kiss onto his lips, he kissed her back. “Right.” He spoke afterwards, his voice was softly. Looking up at her now. “Hurting you was never part of my plan and it was the last thing I ever wanted to do.” They both knew that was true. And he would still go to the ends of the Earth for her. “I wrote you while I was down there. And it wasn’t an instant fall for Sophie. I just want you to know that. It took time.”
She chuckled and shook her head not feeling very smart at the moment allowing herself to fall again for him. “What do I ever hide from you.” she said as if she wasn’t still hiding the entire reason she broke them up. It was in the past and it didn’t matter anymore anyway though. She nodded trying to pretend it didn’t hurt. “I know you didn’t. It’s just what happens with us isn’t it. Maybe this is why you were meant to be with her.” she said trying to make sure she herself believed that. “What did you write about.” she asked unsure if she even wanted to know. She didn’t know why that hurt more. It gave her that realization that maybe had she not been so stupid she would have changed the outcome and he’d be with her.
nxt-a-fairy-tale:
Jeff wasn’t expecting anyone at the door and he yawn as he trudged over to answer it. He opened the door, surprised when he saw Xanthe standing there. He had meant to check on her after Brad’s arrival but everything had been so crazy the past few days. He stepped out of the way, letting her come in. “Xanthe…” He smiled softly, closing the door behind her. “I’m guessing I shouldn’t ask how are you.”
“I don’t mean to bother you. I just didn’t really know where else to go.” she said after a moment. “Do you mind if I stay over and just drink for a while. I have enough for both of us if you want to join me.” she said feeling like a hypocrite she shouldn’t be drinking her problems away but she wanted to. Needed to. “I can leave if you want I just didn’t want to be alone.” she said after a moment hating to admit it.
Xanthe felt empty. It was something she hadn’t felt in a long time. Her heart had been broken when they broke up. When he died but him being alive. Found gave her some stupid feeling of hope and she didn’t know where to go after finding herself with two bottles of vodka. She never drank but tonight she wanted to be black out drunk and she could only think one person that she really could go to without triggering something. She knocked on Jeff’s door leaning against the wall trying to be as gathered as she was.
@nxt-a-fairy-tale
thisxpoison:
“But yet you still agreed to marry me that one time.” Brad tried to joke lightly. It was hard to think about that now considering everything. “Fine, agreed. We protect each other for now on.” Even if it was just as friends, he would keep his word about protecting her. He cared about her, there was no question about that. He always would. “Good point, they are a big part of your life.” He couldn’t imagine leaving Nina again, so he got it. Hell he didn’t even want to leave his baby sister in the first place. “And what is that?” Brad questioned lightly, raising a brow. That was the last thing that he expected, what escaped Xanthe lips. He was sure that she had stopped loving him before he had even been tossed down with Sophie considering how they left things. Just friends right? But clearly he had been wrong. Hearing the emotion in her voice. Moving his hand to cheek now, he had to tell her. She had the right to know. “Xanthe..I have something to tell you but first I want you to know that I’ve always loved you, and I always will. You do have a special place in my heart.” He looked into her eyes. Lying to her wasn’t something that he was about to do. “But I’m with Sophie now. I love her, and we are engaged. Jocelyn, our daughter and I made her this paper ring. They saved my life in more then just one way. And I’m completely in love with Sophie.”
“I must not be very smart.” she teased back. She nodded. “You better know that doesn’t mean hiding shit from me to pretend you’re alright.” she said shaking her head. She felt nervous telling him her insides twisting. It wasn’t the same as the first time. The first time she had been certain on his feelings. The first time she knew he loved her back now everything was different. She didn’t know and she thought it made sense for his feelings to change. She nodded and leaned in placing a soft chaste kiss to his lips. “To remember you.” she said trying to make him understand it wasn’t anything but a goodbye kiss. “I guessed as much. You fall easily Brad but I would hate not having ever told you.”
@thisxpoison
thisxpoison:
“Trying never hurt.” Brad teased lightly with a small chuckle. When he felt her hand on her cheek, he tensed a little bit. He wasn’t use to others touching him outside of Sophie and Jocelyn but he relaxed a little bit. This was very much real, it felt real the moment that he saw her in his room. “Are you surprised that I’m an idiot?” He joked lightly, chuckling a little bit. Shaking his head a little bit. “You don’t need to protect me, X. I’ll get my size and stuff back and be back to being my jackass ways sooner or later.” Looking back at her for a moment. “I always thought you would have left by now. I know this place hasn’t really brought you much happiness.” His eyes found hers. “What are you thinking about?” He questioned softly.
“No it hasn’t.” she said softly. She smied softly and shook her head. “No I’ve known you were an idiot for a very long time not.” she said her voice had moved to a whisper to just be between them. “I know you will. But if you protect me I protect you got it.” she said leaving no room for argument. “I wanted to but I can’t just leave Paul or Pippa behind.” she said not knowing if there was a part of her that was just waiting for him hoping for him. Her heart twisted tightly in her chest. “Something I never got a chance to tell you before everything went to shit.” she said biting her lip before deciding she couldn’t be a coward anymore. She didn’t know what was happening with him and Sophie. How they had grown close. She just needed to tell him. “I never stopped loving you Brad.” she said the words clogged with emotion that she tried to pull back fearing how they’d be received.
harshwinterstorm:
“We all are sometimes.” she said softly. She felt herself smile. “We really need to cure you of that. Heroes just die.” she said maybe it was cynical but it was true in her mind and she couldn’t bear to lose him again. She shook her head but didn’t argue. She doubted she looked good. She’d been going through the motions barely dealing with self care but she’d let im thing she was good. She nodded. “Whenever you’re ready I’m here.” she said understanding as she clung to him feeling absolutely mortified that he was comforting her in this moment. “I know.” she whispered lifting her head and wiping her eyes before pressing her forehead to his trying not to think the question burning in her mind of for how long was he here though.
“This is true.” Brad chuckled a little bit. “I don’t think anyone could cure me of that. I’ve had it before the Dollhouse.” She wasn’t going to lose him. he was there for good despite everything that he had been through he was back And not going anywhere ever again. “You do, and knowing you probably don’t believe it. But there is never going to be a time that I don’t think you look good.” He pointed out softly. “I know and I thank you for that.” Time was something that he was going to need. Brad held her close, taking in this moment with her. How could he not? “Good.” He spoke softly. His own forehead rested against hers as well. “I missed you.” He admitted softly.
“We’ll just have to try.” she said jokingly her hand moving to rest on his cheek. Maybe it was too intimate but she just couldn’t stop herself she needed to feel him to remember this was real. It wasn’t some cruel fantasy. She let out a soft laugh. “Then you’re an idiot. But I’ll let it slide for now.” she said. “Missed you too. And I’ll be here for you. It’s my turn to protect you now.” she whispered softly. She had always wanted to leave but with Brad here and knowing there was no way he was leaving his sister all those plans stopped. She hadn’t wanted to leave without Pippa, Paul, or her mother but she would if she had to. She didn’t think she could leave Brad here. She thought back to Maggie’s questions and she knew she was burying it then so it didn’t hurt as much. She still very much loved Brad no matter what they’d been through.
