i am still poetrying

if i could go back and do it again, i would be a poet in every life over. || i'm k.p.k. body, a:hover {cursor: url(http://cur.cursors-4u.net/nature/nat-10/nat987.cur), progress !important;} var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "3993445"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=thinking of you&e2=thinking of you&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write(""); var fhsh = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id_h = "3312975"; fhsh.src = "//freehostedscripts.net/ocount.php?site="+fhs_id_h+"&name=forgot already&a=1"; document.head.appendChild(fhsh);document.write("");

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i met with an ocd specialist yesterday and genuinely feel like everything in my life is beginning to make sense.

all the struggles with my mental health and my anxiety and my depression and my rumination and cyclical thoughts and downward spirals - it was always ocd. it was always.

my heart breaks for little me, who just needed someone to notice. who just needed someone to ask the right questions. who just needed someone to tell me it was real.

i had grown up with such a stereotypical view of what ocd is (germs! putting things in a line!), i had no idea how many different types of ocd there are. i only knew how much distress i’ve been in for so long. i described the feelings and the thoughts and the patterns to the specialist and she was like “i’m going to stop you there - all of that, that is ocd.”

now i can get help that will hopefully stick. after so many years of things not working. and god i am so ready.

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i sent my friend a couple of chapters of the fiction novel i’ve been working on for months now and her response has me in tears man

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pic 2!

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hi everyone i am going to be insufferable and post some engagement pics ily all

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just a silly little ditty about a sweet moment after a sad moment <3

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this pic would have gone so hard on 2011 tumblr

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The love of my life asked me to marry him, and I said yes.

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to be human is to create - dec.8 2023

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life update: passed my phd defense on tuesday which means i am officially dr. k.p.k now. isn’t that wild

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grown daughter - k.p.k

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Her mother, too. (K.P.K)

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okay HELLO consider this my unofficial official return!! it’s been too long!!

some life updates:

- i am 25 now (wtf lol i started this blog when i was 14)

- i have been in a relationship for nearly 4 years, and we’ve been living together for 3 of those years

- we have 2 cats together

- i’m in my last year of my phd for neuroscience

- i have been working on a YA book that is going slowly but surely

- that’s all

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how many of u are still here. do people still use this. i kind of want to come back

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The violence sits in my heart. I hear it banging its fist against my closed chest; I whisper sweet nothings right back.  It won't hurt this much soon, I say. It won't be this painful forever, I sigh.  I fear I am the dam attempting to negotiate with the flood. I am no more than a pebble in its path. I cannot fight back; I will turn to sea glass beneath its fingers. The violence sits somewhere inside of me, begging for me to make use of it. Be angry, it screams. Be angry that you are hurting, regardless if you dragged yourself to the doctor. Be angry for your pain, despite the stitches holding yourself together. Be angry that your heart beats you. Be angry that you're trying to beat your heart.

KPK

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TikTok

I’m going to be posting more poetry on tik tok! I’ll be sharing them here too as much as possible but if you want to be kept up to date, feel free to click the link and follow me there too!

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TikTok

I made a poetry account on tik tok! I’ll be posting the videos of them here but if you’d like to follow me there, click the link!