Hasuki

Random thoughts and banter under the lovely night — usually with an anxious heart.

[hasukipoetry]

Confused.

Thriving in the hope that I shall achieve my desires.

Hate settling for less—

at the same time, scared of losing everything.

Wanted to change everything,

from surviving to living.

What can be done?

Once dreamt about life,

felt the urge to achieve,

worked hard enough—

got distracted enough.

Lost by a few points—

still can achieve.

Frustrated by the opinions of outsiders.

“Settle for what you have, or else you might regret it in the future.”

Thinking of giving up and settling.

Scared I might lose a part of my youth within myself again.

-hasuki poetry

[hasukipoetry]

Emotional strings

Being a little kid, I realised no good or bad—

Growing up, everything seems mad.

Those twisted, sick words felt good at once,

At that age, with no follies around.

Whimsical about nonsense—

Lies beneath is pure innocence,

Manhandled the way they want.

Emotionally overwhelmed,

Torn between being a good little one for my guardians.

Had those manufactured choices,

Smothered up—too late to realise.

Had I gone bad?

Constriction—still building up the nonsense,

May I lose my sense and feel free for once!

Can't hold the batshits,

It's getting too hard to hold captive the façade.

Emotionally burdened, I want no sweet words,

But emancipation.

Unshackled, so to feel my wrist,

Unbound—to rebound.

Just a continuity with no emotional strings.

-Hasuki poetry

[hasukipoetry]

Seek

Mind once filled with thoughts about fantasy—

Now filled with trauma.

Life is a game. Everyone plays their role except myself.

It gets hard—tries to hit respawn.

But

This cat doesn't have nine lives.

Everyone controls save thyself.

Be wroth with thyself—

Maybe I am just wrong.

Broken pieces of glass sting no more;

They are deep inside, covering up the wound.

Winds and breeze stay calm,

Mind and mood stay anxious.

Nevertheless, it's worthless—feed the fear, expect the worse,

Not that I could control.

Maybe just hopeless, trying to seek help from outside to escape my inner thoughts.

-Hasuki

[hasukipoetry]

Disclaimer:

A work of fiction inspired by emotions.

Feed my soul for the sake of love;

Nothing left— not my skin, not my nails.

The imprints of fire left my soul burned, and I cried.

I paid for sins whose consequences were never mine.

Could you think of that and reap your wrongs?

Feed my soul for the sake of love;

I am not who I thought I was.

-Hasuki

[hasukipoetry]

Write a three line poem about something you regret but never talk about....

[hasukipoetry]

Say something with no context.

Just thoughts, please.

(Keep it respectful)

[hasukipoetry]

Just heavy

Disclaimer: Just expressing emotions. Nothing more.

Heart feels heavy.

Throat stings, like a fence wrapped around it.

Head hurts — I felt the need to hug someone.

Ignored by many — chasing people around like a dog.

I need attention.

I am isolated — I need interactions.

These feelings hurt.

I wish I had the courage to break my fears, but I don't.

I prayed for my life to get easier, but instead,

it got worse.

Maybe sad songs to tear up,

a plushie to hug,

a balcony view — seems perfect, far from reality.

I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't.

Pain and blade — cuts deep.

Trauma and fear bind together.

Gathered cries slip when it hurts.

Called a crybaby — yes.

Lost hope in everything.

Maybe a burden — absolutely.

Let go of everything — just let it, let it, let it.

Let them be happy.

That took a dark turn because it is dark.

I cannot escape now — because I am already lost.

-Hasuki

[hasukipoetry]

Eye talk lover

Millions of thoughts at once,

In those ugly thoughts — my mind searches for a beautiful person.

We haven't spoken,

Yet our eyes held millions of conversations.

Wish I could have made my move,

Those thoughts of rejection scared me — but now... I wish I got rejected,

I wish I got accepted,

I wish we held each other,

I—.. I wish we kissed...

It doesn't matter... I just wanted to hear your voice...

But now it's never...

We parted away not by our decision,

But by destination.

I wish we could meet, I truly do.

You took a different path,

Might as well, I did.

I truly love you and hope to see you again in my future.

I wish we both talk those talks,

Walk those walks.

I wish you the best, my love.

I wish you success.

If God knows we feel the same,

May the Almighty bring us together in an unexpected way.

I wish for you, I'll be waiting for you.

Yours loyally,

Eye Talk Lover and Forever ♾️.

Hasuki & j

[hasukipoetry]

“Betrayal is quiet. It doesn’t shatter you all at once — it just rearranges what you thought was true.”

I feel distracted, losing track of time.

Daily tasks are hard — I thought I pulled myself together, but no.

Losing and running — crying and screaming — nothing makes any sense.

Quiet expectations. Damn, that stings.

This heart aches — wanting to cry, metaphorically — I hope so.

“I am using music to distract my fucking mind.”

Of course, with ads.

I cannot seem to figure it out. What am I feeling?

I realized not everyone is a therapist to hear me out.

I just feel disappointed — no reactions.

If people cannot help each other at their worst or best, then why have them around?

Pain is pain alone.

Double the sorrow, carrying their response in my mind.

I never realized talking would help. Now I feel it.

I feel it damn bad — those emotions are clenching my heart; my vision feels like illusions.

Overthinking at its peak.

I just want to break free from those emotions, but I cannot.

just a little bit more — I hope so, it will be better.

-Hasuki

[hasukipoetry]

This is hard — that's not my fault.

I fight within me.

I fight hard

not to disappoint.

What hurts most

is not you,

nor your words —

it’s my thoughts.

-Hasuki poetry

[hasukipoetry]

Look Around, Get Used to It

chuckles sadly — fidgeting

“I mean…”

deep sigh

“What can be done?”

snaps

“Can you stop trusting everyone you see?”

“I— I try not to…”

Trust…

It was built by none, yet I believed everyone so naïvely.

Look around. Look at your closed fist.

“Who would you trust?”

Look at your back. Look at your mirror—

lied to by everyone and everything…

A bed full of thorns, a pillow made of horn.

Burned by a spirit creeping up my neck—

a greedy cluster.

“Keep your enemies closer.”

At least you might know when they would stab your back.

That doesn’t count

when you’re already friends with them…

innit?

-Hasuki

[hasukipoetry]

if you could give yourself advice as a third person, what would you say? Write it as a small poem or dialogue...

[hasukipoetry]

So..... I kind of feel disappointed even though I tried my best— I did everything I could. I am focused on my goal but the thought of "what if I can't" betrays me because it's one time life opportunity— only one time for me to prove myself, only one time for me create a name, only once to make the people around me proud, only one last time for me to get what I want.

I want to try harder but I don't know... I don't know man..... I don't have guidance—i don't have real friends who would support me to get what I want— jealousy. I just want to rant.....

A life that excited me once to get what I want— is now scaring me.

Maybe a day or two to get things started with head full of doubts and fears.

Not a single soul to trust—yet it's me to comfort.

I seek the desire because I didn't born with golden spoon.

The only desire I could have is me creating it for myself—

For the sake of shouldered responsibility.

Love and light are same— remains bright and splendour when no desire or hazard seen upto a mile

Fades when it gets dark, let alone, hide alone and seek with no emote.

Seeking comfort in dark— atleast it's ready to be with me,

Atleast it knows my imperfections and weakness,

Atleast.....

-Hasuki

[hasukipoetry]

Not all dreams are hard to achieve, it's just either too good to be true or hard to make myself believe that I am worthy of having it.

[hasukipoetry]

BEAUTY WITHIN A BEAUTY

See it.

Appreciate it.

Applaud it.

Adore it.

Admire it.

Is it a wish to want it?

Maybe.

The beauty I saw in those eyes—damn,

I wanted them to meet mine every morning.

To hear your voice,

to feel your comfort,

to feel protected.

I want it.

How do I say it out loud?

It’s scary, isn’t it?

Those what ifs.

Maybe I want to risk it,

but I don’t want to risk our dreams.

All I ever wanted

was to be your friend—

to feel it for myself, in my own skin.

To hear it.

The playful banter,

the harmless cuss words,

those little smacks.

I wanted the best chapter of my life

to have you in it—

with us.

I don’t care

if it turns into lovers

or if we never dare to make the first move.

I had good times with you,

even if only

in my imagination.

• Hasuki •

[hasukipoetry]

Withered

Black clouds, breezy, fast-moving trees— ready to break down.

Bright day, sunny weather, hot— ready to get burned down.

Once admired leaves and trees become waste when

A leaf loses its colour and falls down.

The tree becomes withered— what am I supposed to say?

Some stay for a certain period— not to harvest but to harness.

Maybe that hurt— really, really bad.

Everything in this world is hopeless once it loses its ability— what am I?

Just another leaf.

-Hasuki

[hasukipoetry]

ONE HELL OF A DAY

Disclaimer: this poetry contains cuss words and it's is a rant. Reader's discretion is advised.

BORN

It was neither an option for me.

“Be grateful, you little piece of crap—”

Kicks the chair

“What the fu— are you out of your mind?”

“LISTEN TO ME—IT WASN’T MY FAULT. I TRIED, BUT I FAILED—”

Stares blankly

“How many times are you going to keep failing?”

Silence.....

“Can’t you trust me?”

Chuckles in disbelief

“Trust? Oh wow. Throw that in the trash. It’s reality—

Actions speak volumes.”

Tears streaming down, voice coming out lower than a whisper, lips trembling, fist tightens.

“I gave my all… I worked my ass off.

I tried again and again, but I failed…”

Sighs

“We are not born rich… short pause

We have to work in the day to have food at night.”

shhhhhhh….

It wasn’t my choice to have a life

that turns out sour when my soul

touches the sheets.

GUILT

A thought that came—

a sudden guilt, maybe.

I couldn’t blame anyone

nor change the irreversible.

Adapt.

No matter how bad—

it’s not what you have chosen,

but what is given.

Some may carry it,

and some may—

LIARS

Lies and lies stacked up above another

Really? How slick of you.

I'm sick and tired of you and your

Manipulation.

Games can be played by both,

but I ain’t a life-ruining bitch like you.

TRUST ISSUES

Hard work pays off—

Pays what?

"I believed it will happen"

“Did you?”

“Yes.”

“Completely?”

Hesitation......

Once trust is broken,

it’s hard to regain—

What about myself?

I gave my all

and still lost.

""“What trust are you talking about?”""

JEALOUSY

What are you jealous of?

I’ve nothing to gain nor lose.

You came into my life

and made sure

I never gained again.

Maybe this is my fucked-up reality,

and a player like you

playing a fucked-up role.

What are we trying to ruin—

ourselves?

-Hasuki