i get sick in the basement when you’re gone

any prns. adult. bpd/npd vent acc

[hauntedandabandoned]

hi. my name is nyx and i am an adult. i use any pronouns.

this is a bpd/npd (mainly bpd) vent/side blog and might have triggering or just generally cringy content. yes i know its unhealthy. i dont need anyone telling me im insane or delusional or that im a terrible person. im already very aware of that. otherwise if you want to dm me/send an ask feel free

DNI: general stuff. nsfw. “narc abuse” believers. endogenics. if you dont like people with bpd/npd (or any cluster b disorder) block me

im very indecisive and also have did so will probably change my username/layout multiple times.

posts may be inconsistent because alters. we will not be doing sign offs or anything like that and will probably rarely post about did

if you think you know me no you dont (and block me)

[hauntedandabandoned]

hate hate HATE when i make plans with fp and they invite someone i barely know without even really asking me… like why do u think i wanna hang out with some random. im not friends with this guy like come on

[hauntedandabandoned]

god why did you put me in this world when i was never meant to be in it

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

npd culture is getting uncontrollably annoyed when someone acts weird but doesn't tell you about something bad you did to them. like girl im programmed to block out any guilt or concern for others i will NAWT know what i did wrong unless you tell me and if i still dc THEN you can be mad at me. either be upfront or get better at acting like i did nothing wrong

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[hauntedandabandoned]

i wish i could find whatever demon in me that makes me unlovable and strangle it

[npdbpdasd]

being a narc is so stupid and confusing. what do you mean i don't actually like this person, but i like the specific kind of attention they give me? what do you mean i'm building a false fantasy of this person in my head and will eventually get bored of them???

[theguitarcase-sys]

How the “omg lmao i love myself I’m such a narcissist 😆” girls look at me when I tell them every little mistake makes my head spin. I need to prove my worth to myself, that I’m better and more important than those around me. If I don’t I feel powerless and annoying. I need to be in control. I need to be better. If I don’t gain attention from other people I see myself as a god. I tell myself I never needed the attention because clearly I’m much better than them. I’ve convinced myself that I have lived a mediocre life and everything I do is pointless. Living as a mediocre person is pointless. Failure is weakness and my own expectations leave me constantly overwhelmed.

(Can we stop romanticizing and watering down very real disorders)

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

npd culture is thinking you have to be the best at everything ever so if you even remotely suck at even one thing that means you're actually the worst at everything and everyone around you is a selfish bitch for not letting you be the best also

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[narcissisticpdcultureis]

NPD + Autism culture is "you tried to correct me about my special interest and were wrong you need to face the ultimate heat death of the fucking sun and also never challenge my authority on this subject again" :3

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[unkillableangel-deactivated2025]

for all of the NPDers who want to dissapear and hide because they werent replied to instantly:

YOU DIDNT EMBARRASS YOURSELF FOR SAYING THAT!!!!!!! i PROMISE its fine

[exssaviour]

"Mental health matters!!" mfs when they see a person with NPD

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

npd culture is not being able to take criticism but also not being able to take it when someone won’t take the criticism you give them because you obviously know better???? why are they pretending otherwise??????

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[borderline-culture-is]

bpd culture is subconciously attempting to inject yourself into a relationship you have no right to be in because you can't have your FP but you can't let them go either

I know it'd be best if I just left them both alone, gave them their space, but I just.. i cant. it hurts so bad, i just want to be loved too, but its not my place to demand my FP to love me after everything that happened. maybe i deserve to be alone. i've hurt people, ive done shitty things. "The wicked die alone" or whatever.. but fuck.

why cant i be loved. thats all i want, genuinely. i just want someone to love me like i love them

..maybe i should just delete everything. not like they'd worry. they're happier and safer now without me. they have their partner. they dont need me anymore. im only making things worse by trying to stay

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[narcissisticpdcultureis]

npd culture is grrrrrrr hghhhhhhhh arrrrrrghhhhhhh hhhhghhhghhhghhhhh

-🩵🎱

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[narcissisticpdcultureis]

covert npd culture is having a sort of pseudo-grandiosity: not in a typical “I am the best” way but in a

“I should be the best” way

like, I know I suck, but I still want to be treated like the best >~<

.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

Covert npd culture is that you WANT to be everyone’s saviour friend but finding it SO HARD to care about people (esp when the convos are BORING) and/or text first because ughhh i physically cant give a shit.

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[lustcannibalism]

romanticizing the horrors all by yourself handsome?

[crucnch-no-more-braincell-deact]

no the horrors are with me too