he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@headology101
"And I don’t hold with all this giving things funny names so people don’t know what they’re eating,’ said Granny, determined to explore the drawbacks of international cookery to the full. ‘I like stuff that tells you plain what it is, like ... well ... Bubble and Squeak, or ... or...’
‘Spotted Dick,’ said Nanny absently."
- Terry Pratchett - Witches Abroad
“What’s magic, eh? Just wavin’ a stick an’ sayin’ a few wee magical words. An’ what’s so clever aboot that, eh? But lookin’ at things, really lookin’ at ‘em, and then workin’ 'em oout, now, that’s a real skill.”
— Rob Anybody in Terry Pratchett's The Wee Free Men
Has to be one of the best passages of a book I’ve read in a long time
“It wasn’t the wearing of the hats that counted so much as having one to wear. Every trade, every craft had its hat. That’s why kings had hats. Take the crown off a king and all you had was someone good at having a weak chin and waving to people. Hats had power. Hats were important.”
- Terry Pratchett - Witches Abroad
“Witches have animals they can talk to, called familiars. Like your toad there.”
“I’m not familiar,” said a voice from among the paper flowers. “I’m just slightly presumptuous.”’
- Terry Pratchett - The Wee Free Men
Things I Learned From Sir Terry Pratchett And His Marvelous Worlds (A Necessary List)
The dogged determination and patience of one person to do what is Right and Necessary may not always win the day or even be noticed, but it will tip the balance just a little in the direction of good.
“[T]he innocent had everything to fear, mostly from the guilty but in the longer term even more from those who say things like ‘The innocent have nothing to fear’.”
Help when you can, lift when you can, work as you can, but never be afraid to ask ‘will I get paid for this?’
Everyone’s got hidden depths. Some people have beautiful hidden mountain glades filled with adorable doe-eyed bunnies. Some people have black oubliettes filled with nightmares and worse. Endeavor to be the sort of person that has both sorts of depths as neighbors. Plumb them with caution.
Find a place to call home, and know it so well you can tell what street you’re on by the feel of cobblestones through your boots.
You can always come home again, but that doesn’t mean you’re moving backwards.
There is never a bad time for a pun.
There’s also never really a good time for a pun.
You might as well just stay braced for a pun at all times, and ride them when they come with as much grace as you can manage.
The fact that you can replace ‘pun’ with ‘disaster’ in the last three rules says a lot about the human race.
Many people can survive absolutely anything as long as they know where their next meal is coming from. Others can not survive much, no matter how many meals they know about, and there’s no shame in that, nor admitting that, nor leaning on others to get there.
You can protect children and you can teach children, but never perfectly in either case.
You may not be able to change the world, but that doesn’t mean you have to stand for any sort of nonsense in your personal life.
Everybody has somebody. It could be a friend, a lover, a spouse, a writing partner, or even That One Person You See At The Coffee Shop each day. Sometimes they exist to comfort you. Sometimes they exist to drive you absolutely mad. Be open to either as a form of self-improvement.
Death comes to us all, but memory is long and time is tricky. The end for you is, most likely, not really the end for everyone else.
If you know the end, if you can see the end, there’s no need to be resigned. Keep walking on cheerfully, whistling right up to the precipice, and let people remember you by the beautiful song you leave in the air.
Thank you, sir. You will be missed.
GNU Terry Pratchett
GNU Sir Terry Pratchett
GNU Terry Pratchett
GNU Terry Pratchett
Witch Tip #154
Wearing a peach pit around your neck will ward off evil.
Bad witch tip: several peach pits and a sling shot will ward of everything else
worse witch tip: a few peach pits correctly distilled will produce cyanide, which should sort yer problems out nicely.
Chaotic Good, Chaotic Neutral, Chaotic Evil
Magrat, Nanny Ogg, Granny Weatherwax.
Still worse witch tip: The skulls of the people you poisoned with the cyanide can be used in spells to compel the evil you were warding off to do your bidding.
aaaand there’s Black Aliss.
Long term tip: planting a peach-tree from the peach-pit will give you peaches, which taste good, and can be used to produce social alliances within the community, and also to make peaches and cream, which is I’ve found more effective at warding off evil than anything bar salt and iron.
Plus other witches will then come to you looking for peach pits.
While we’re talking about peaches, never accept them from suspiciously pretty men with pointy smiles and self-contradictory invitations.
I don’t think it really needs saying at this point, but we have our Tiffany.
i forgot to post this here…
it says HAPPY NEW YEAR
Honestly I’m not sure this wasn't drawn in 2006 but I think nanny would get 1 pair of those glasses and then wear them every year no matter how out of date they got, so this is A+ in character in my books.
All witches are selfish, the Queen had said. But Tiffany’s Third Thoughts said: Then turn selfishness into a weapon! Make all things yours! Make other lives and dreams and hopes yours! Protect them! Save them! Bring them into the sheepfold! Walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf! My dreams! My brother! My family! My land! My world! How dare you try to take these things, because they are mine! I have a duty!
– Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men
If anyone is wondering, this is literally my motto.
It’s all very well calling for eye of newt, but do you mean Common, Spotted or Great Crested? Which eye, anyway? Will tapioca do just as well? If we substitute egg white will the spell a) work b) fail or c) melt the bottom out of the cauldron?
Terry Pratchett - Wyrd Sisters (via terrypratchettparadise)
Today has been rough. Here’s to one of my favorite Discworld characters.
This month has been hell.
Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett c1987
“The owl swooped away from the from the branch. It was only because it would interfere with the flying that Granny wasn’t shaking with rage. Wizards! They talked too much and pinned spells down in books like butterflies but, worst of all, they thought theirs was the only magic worth practicing.
Granny was absolutely certain of one thing. Women had never been wizards, and they weren’t about to start now. “
**I love how Granny is this character who seems to know everything there is to know, but in this, her first appearance we learn that she can be wrong and learn from it. It is something I like about her. I love how staunch she is in her beliefs, but how she can change them when presented with new evidence. -S
“You weren’t born with a talent for witchcraft: it didn’t come easily; you worked hard at it because you wanted it. You forced the world to give it to you, no matter the price, and the price is and always will be high… People say you don’t find witchcraft; witchcraft finds you. But you’ve found it, even if at the time you didn’t know what it was you were finding, and you grabbed it by its scrawny neck and made it work for you.
Terry Pratchett - I Shall Wear Midnight (via draodoir-mna-blog)
Granny’s soap was like her advice: strong and sharp and it stung a bit at the time, but it worked.
Terry Pratchett, The Shepherd’s Crown (via discworldquotes)
Going nuts–or, rather, not going nuts–was the soul and centre of witchcraft, and this was how it worked. After a while, a witch, who almost always worked by herself in the tradition of witches, had a tendency to go… strange. Of course, it depended on the length of time and the strength of mind of the witch, but sooner or later they tended to get confused about things like right and wrong and good and bad and truth and consequences. That could be very dangerous. So witches had to keep one another normal, or at least what was normal for witches. It didn’t take very much: a tea party, a singalong, a stroll in the woods, and somehow everything balanced up, and they could look at advertisements for gingerbread cottages in the builder’s brochure without putting a deposit on one.
Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight (via discworldquotes)
“She couldn’t be the prince, and she’d never be a princess, and she didn’t want to be a woodcutter, so she’d be a witch and know things”
Terry Pratchett | The Wee Free Men
When people were in serious trouble they went to a witch.* * Sometimes, of course, to say, “please stop doing it.
Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum (via gottaquoteit)
