remus lupin

22. up to no good. como la Luna, solo hay una.

[aditxapatil-deactivated20200810]

desperado.

[heandthemoon]

marymaxdonald‌:

The warming sensation in her heart fueled the feigned look of shock she gave him. It was so easy, she’d found, to be herself with him, to let the pretenses fall away. A deep chuckle followed his words. “Fine, I’ll allow your slander, but do kindly remember you moved in here after you discovered the truth, so let that sink in while you’re tossing around that trash talk.” Mary moved her arms higher and linked her fingers behind his neck. Then she kissed him, her lips barely touching his, hardly pulling away when she smiled and took a shallow breath.

“I’m really glad you’re here.” And by that, she meant thank you, but saying it wouldn’t have panned out well, Mary thought. One more brief kiss was pressed to his lips, she released him grab one of his hands in her own, and as she turned to walk towards the bed, she allowed it to slip through her fingers. She’d slept on top of the covers the night Charles died, wanting nothing more than to soak up what she wanted to remember most about him, willing what she wanted to forget from her brain. She’d slept like a rock that night, uninhibited for the first time in months. She’d awoken groggy and guilty, knowing what that meant about her personally. Sitting on the edge, she looked up at Remus. 

“And if at any point my mental instability and/or ridiculous need for renovation gets the best of you, I won’t be upset if you bail.” She rolled her eyes wide, gaze landing on the ceiling. “Well, so long as you don’t stow away in the middle of the night, that is.” Her eyes found his, her lips curving into a mischevious grin. Mary pulled her legs up, crossing them then holding her ankles. He didn’t know the half of it, she knew, and yet the idea of him finding it out didn’t make her think her coffee might be returning. Giving a short sigh, she raised her brows. “You did bring your stuff, didn’t you? You aren’t already changing your mind?”

Remus grinned boyishly at her quick wit. Mary was as sharp as a tack, drawing him in and impressing him with her loquacious talents. She laced her fingers behind his neck and he pulled her closer, doing the same at the small of her back. “I’m happy to be here,” he told her, and it was genuine. He didn’t feel like hiding away in a house anymore. Skilled fighter that he was, perhaps he was ready to start risking in order to get things done. The high he got from Mary’s presence only worked to strengthen that desire for himself, lighting a fire in his bones that had died out at the very start of the coding system.

Remus let her lead him, his eyes wandering once again around the room, bigger than perhaps any other he’d ever owned. “Mental instability?” He looked at her with a smirk, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside her. He opened his mouth to make some sort of teasing retort but the look in Mary’s eyes gave him cause. Mischief was as familiar to Remus on another humans face as sadness. In that moment, Mary looked like there was a little devil in the curve of her mouth. Remus arched an eyebrow, his lids drooping slightly. His voice was low when he said, “Don’t give me that look, MacDonald.”

Remus' gaze landed on her lips as he leaned sideways towards her. The draw was magnetic and perhaps that was what allowed him to accept her invitation. By all accounts, it was way too soon but they were on the same page as far as changing their minds went. Though Remus couldn’t imagine ever wanting to. Mary said something and it took a few moments before Remus even registered it. “Oh.” Snapping out of the trance-like state the mere sight of her lips were causing, he leaned back and fished the shrunken suitcase from his pocket. He tossed it over his shoulder. As soon as it hit the floor at the end of the bed, it bounced back to its full size. He laughed at it, knowing how ridiculous it seemed to have all of his possessions to one trunk. With a shrug, he turned a bashful smile her way. “You’ve underestimated how little I own, haven’t you?”

[heandthemoon]

p-pettiigrew‌:

Closed starter for @heandthemoon

Before changing his form for this months full moon Peter had packed up his small backpack with everything they would need for the next day. A change of clothes for Remus, the tonic he made to help speed up his post transformation healing, a litre of water, a ham and cheese sandwich, a packet of the good cigarettes and some face wipes. As well as the most important part, of course, a bar of Remus’ favourite chocolate. It was perfectly planned from years of experience, and when he found the backpack hidden exactly where he’d left it in the roots of a large tree he felt a surge of relief. “It’s over here.” He called to Remus, scratching the back of his neck as he stretched his joints. It had been a long night, and Peter was glad it was over. Transformation nights had always had a flare of excitement when they were stupid kids, but now he was a bit older he always dreaded them. Remus deserved more than having to suffer like this every month, he wished he could take it all away from him, readying some supplied was very the least he could do. 

Walking over to where the other was sat he threw the oversized hoodie he’d packed at his face, grinning as it hit its mark. “He shoots and he scores!” Peter chuckled, running to Remus’ side and sinking beside him on the floor of the forest, not caring about the dirt he was already covered in as he rooted around the bag for the tonic, closely followed by the sandwich and chocolate, passing them both to Remus in one go as he started rambling both to himself and his best friend. “Okay, okay, so we just need to wait for Sirius and James to send us the all clear that they placed their alibi’s, then I’ll apparate us back to the safe house with the excuse that we’re both feeling hungover and need to be alone for a bit. If anyone asks we went to go see a concert in Glasgow, we stayed the night there.” He smiled warmly at Remus, raising a pointed eyebrow at the food in front of them which he had not yet touched. “Remus you need to eat, you’ll feel better.”

Remus couldn’t have tell you where he was. The past ten hours were a blur of trees and teeth and night air, the thumping of heavy paws on packed earth and a wildness that felt like being freed from a terrible dungeon (though bone cage was more accurate). The exact location of wherever they had ended up was completely lost on him, but the smell of dirt filled his nose and he could register the prickly grass beneath his bare skin. A loud, exasperated groan passed through his lips before he could even open his eyes to the incriminating sunlight that pooled through the forest above them. Remus could hear Peter moving around, unzipping something. He felt fabric hit his face and he groaned again. “Prick,” was mumbled through gravel in his throat as he rolled over and sat up. Bleary eyes squinted down at his bare chest, arms, legs. There were some idle scratches from stray branches or thorns, but no teeth marks. He hadn’t taken it out on himself this time.

Funny, what being happy could cause.

“What concert did we see?” Remus asked with a small smirk pulling at his lips. “And where’s the alcohol? Make at least half honest men out of us.” It had been so long since he’d felt this kind of childish excitement over lying. They’d done it all through school, but Remus had never been blind to the future. He knew how much he would miss it when it was gone. Peter passed him a sandwich and he balanced it on his dirty knee so he could pull the sweatshirt over his head. “Yeah, yeah- chocolate?” was all he could manage as a reply to his friend, the nausea that came with whatever he had eaten the night before still rumbling around inside of him. If Remus ate something meaty right now, he would probably puke and once the vomiting started, it didn’t stop for a couple of days. Best to just try to ignore it and let it pass. Peter’s warm smile pulled at something deep in Remus’ chest and he leaned back on his hands, tilting his head to look up at the canopy above them. Tenderness was not lost on them as mates, but a proper thank you was always done with absolutely discretion. “Appreciate you coming out, Pete. Mean it.”

[aditxapatil-deactivated20200810]

desperado.

[heandthemoon]

marymaxdonald‌:

@heandthemoon

“He didn’t die in here, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Mary said, turning the knob and pushing the door open with her hip. As soon as she was in the room, she smiled. The masculine air of the room always comforted her, which was why it was the only room in the house not up for construction. The walls were covered in broad green and brown vertical stripes that only accentuated the grand mahogany bed in the center of the room. A fireplace sat off to the side encased in dark stones, and atop the mantle sat eclectic knick nacks from the far reaches of the earth. Slowly she ran her hand along the ridged scrolling along the edge, admiring how it still felt smooth, and once she reached the foot of the bed, she sat on the plush emerald bench and crossed her legs. 

Her eyes found his then, her smile encouraging, her chest panging with an anxiousness she wasn’t sure what to do with. Mary wasn’t sure why she wanted him to love the room so much, but she could not deny it now as she watched him take it in. “It’s a little dusty because I haven’t been in here much, but everything is functional.” She’d had his personal items, clothes, sheets, bathroom items all removed the week he died on impulse, but she didn’t regret it now. Her debate on where to put Remus had been a short one, and not only because this room was closest to hers. 

“The bathroom is through that door,” she said, pointing. “It has a tub and a shower. By far the best in the house.” Mary moved to her feet then, closing the distance between Remus and herself, wrapping her arms around his middle and tilting her head back so she could look up at him. “But if you hate it, there are a few more to choose from.” She wanted, more than anything, for him to feel comfortable there. “And my bedroom is right next door if you get scared. I promise not to kick you out if you come crawling in.”

Remus shrunk his trunk to the size of a coin and dropped it in his pocket. He straightened the pillows on the bed one more time and ran his hand along the comforter to release any lingering wrinkles. He had made a huge breakfast for the house that morning, leaving nothing but the plates the food sat on in any kind of disarray. There were nerves in the pit of his stomach as he left, thanking Blizz and the owners of the house for their hospitality. He was nervous. Being away from the wards was part of it, but the majority of him was aflutter with thoughts of Mary. He had said yes on impulse, because he’d grown to hate it there and the idea of being around her whenever he wanted was too enticing in that moment. Plus, she had a big house and that was a motivator of its’ own.

Once he was passed the borders of the safe house, Remus apparated into an alley a short distance from Mary’s place. As soon as he exited it, he could see her standing on her porch. A smile involuntarily pulled at his lips as he approached. When he met her, he put his hand over his heart and bowed his head dramatically. “An absolute sight.” With a flourish of his arm, he said, “Ladies first.” So caught up in watching Mary, Remus forgot to take in the rest of the house until she was opening the door to the room that was to be his. He made his way slowly around it, looking at everything that had been perfectly preserved in the time since her grandfather’s death. When she started talking again, he turned and leaned against the dresser behind him to look at her.

Remus was quiet, pensive. When she hugged him, he snaked his hands up her arms and landed to massage circles in her shoulders. He kissed her then, a deep serenity settling in his bones. He had never been this guy before, but it was so peaceful, he supposed he could stick around for a bit (hoped he would, anyway). “It’s perfect,” he told her. “And I’d take you up on that but I think you better come in here instead. It’s been called to my attention that you’re mental and I’m willing to bet it’s all the paint and dry wall you’re huffing just by walking in your house. This is the safe zone.” His faux concern changed to a teasing smirk and he winked at her, “Plus, I hear it has the best bath.”

[heandthemoon]

edgarpuffbones‌:

Wow, he was definitely not drunk enough for this. Not even by half. He realized all in a flash that if he knew Remus had been with Mary, then Remus knew he had been with Mary. Which was fine, because they were allowed to be together, they were two consenting adults, and it was hardly the first time. So why did he feel so weird about it? The weirdness settled in the pit of his stomach as Remus asked for his shirt back. Right. Okay. It wasn’t like this was the first time he had ever been shirtless in a bar. He tugged it up over his head, not caring how it mussed his hair. Should he fold it? Just hand it over? He went with folding it once, a simple fold down the middle, before holding it out. That was definitely the wrong choice. The middle road was never the best one. Go for utter glory or utter destruction, that was his motto. But it was too late for that now.

And then he remembered he had a sweatshirt, thank god. He pulled it on, casually. Definitely casually. There was nothing in his demeanor that was not casual right now, he was working very hard on that. And he thanked the heavens again for the full shot in front of him, which he quickly downed before he could trust his words again. “You know, we don’t have to make this weird. We’re both… cool guys, we can be friends about it. Right?” Good god, had he ever sounded like such an idiot in his life? He motioned for another shot to get rid of the echo of his own voice in his head. “I didn’t know you were… seeing Mary,” he admitted, trying not to feel hurt that she hadn’t mentioned it. Why hadn’t she mentioned it? They told each other every thing, or so he had thought. 

Demanding Remus’ shirt back was entirely unnecessary and he did it just to be petty. It wasn’t an important item of clothing, it held no special memories or anything like that. It was quite literally just a shirt. Part of him wanted to return it to Mary, but that was equally caddy and unimportant. Although, it would spur the second round of a conversation they had already had, so he would give it back to her. Probably tell her goodbye with it if he wasn’t too weak in the moment - which he most likely would be. Knowing her and knowing himself, there were many possible outcomes that would all lead to the one thing that inevitably would happen - the same thing that put him here, sitting next to Edgar in a silent jealous rage. Remus wasn’t completely new to jealousy, but the sort that came from this deep, confusing, brand new place was baffling to him. “No, I’m- we’re not...” Remus gave an exasperated laugh and reached up to rub the tension knot from the back of his neck. “I’m not seeing Mary.”

[aditxapatil-deactivated20200810]

heandthemoon‌:

Remus felt like he was sucking the sunlight directly out of Mary’s skin. Instead of dimming her of her incredible shine, together they were brighter than they ever could’ve been alone. It baffled him, how deeply he had fallen into her in less than a month when they’d known each other so long already. Perhaps that was part of it, the little things they did know about each other aiding in the discovery. Either way, what had begun as a casual hookup between two people suffering in very different ways quickly became something more. Had he known his addiction would bloom to life from the moment he tasted her on his lips, would he have done it any differently? Probably not. Addiction lies just beneath the surface of ones emotions and if he had been self-aware enough, he would’ve known not to go down that road for the chaos it would cause.

Having Mary MacDonald in his arms was something beautiful, magical even. He wondered if he’d ever stop chasing the high she supplied him. Naturally only time would tell, but in that moment Remus couldn’t imagine ever wanting or needing anything else. She was a cocaine flame in his bloodstream, burning him up, keeping him awake. He felt it tingle from the back of his eyeballs to the tips of his toes, a liveliness so profound he could die in that very moment and have done so happily.

Remus wanted to tell her, but the fear of losing this simple and intoxicating happiness kept him at bay. For a moment, he would allow himself to be selfish. She knew he had secrets and accepted that she couldn’t know them. In a way, he convinced himself she almost knew what she was getting into. Remus ran his fingers through her hair, tilting her head back as he did so. He placed a tender kiss to the corner of her mouth and the nerve endings all through his body seared him. “Okay,” he said softly, moved his head to place equally sweet, slow kisses to her cheek, temple, forehead. He took his time, relishing the unhurried movements of something who had given into his habits. He pulled back after a while to look into her eyes, his hand cupping the base of her head. His other arm was still wound tightly around her middle. “I won’t question it. But I also won’t hold it against you if you change your mind, just so you know.”

The rain outside began to swell, low thunder rumbling just close enough to vibrate the windows, lightening streaking the room as Remus gave in to her. Mary snaked one of her legs around his, pulling it tight as his hand guided her head back, and with each tender kiss placed on her lips, she felt the weight of their previous conversation dissipate. He worked slowly, tenderly covering her face with the same emotion she felt swimming around in her chest. It was cruel that they couldn’t say it, revel in the glory of what it could do. The rain outside pitched wildly, and when he pulled her closer, his face close and his voice low, her hands came to cup his face.

Mary examined him, her thumbs rubbing his jaw in short, slow circles, and after a moment she sighed, her shaking slowly. “Oh, I’m a dog with a bone, Remus Lupin. You sealed your fate when you said yes.” Her hands slid down the sides of his neck, over his chest, and around his ribs. Getting close enough would always be the trouble, perhaps not the only trouble she would encounter, but that was an issue for another day. Mary loved him and he knew that and still he didn’t send her away. Maybe he loved her; maybe he loved the idea of her in his bed. All she knew for sure was letting go wasn’t an option.

Pressing her ear to his chest, she allowed the storm outside and the thumping against his skin to lull her into a state of serenity that allowed her next words to flow without pause. “You should move into my place.” The words were nonchalant, easy as if it made all the sense in the world. “I have tons of rooms and you could even have your own bathroom.” She laughed against his skin, knowing how mental she sounded even as she said it. “Alright, that wasn’t my smoothest moment,” she murmured, pulling away to look up at him. “But that was asked as your friend. You’ll have more space there, you know? And I’m hardly using all of it.”

[heandthemoon]

The sudden consuming happiness that Remus felt settled deep in his chest. He wasn’t sure he had ever known something so powerful in his life like what he felt towards Mary in that moment. He could’ve laid like that for forever, listening to the soft sounds of their mingled breathing. The calm that surrounded him was baffling, something entirely new and unheard of.

Mary put her hands on his face and Remus closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. He turned his head and placed his lips to the inside of her wrist. He smiled at her words, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. “Sealed my fate,” he repeated, his smile turning into a toothy grin as he gently bit the inside of her wrist. He pulled her hand off of his face and laced their fingers together at her next words.

The fear Remus normally felt at such blatant intimacy was missing and in its absence, he could breathe freely. He dipped his head, his lips brushing against hers as she laughed, embarrassment coloring her cheeks a pretty shade of pink. He was still smiling contentedly, eyes heavily lidded as he took her in. He kissed her, gentle and lingering as he pulled away. His voice was a whisper when he said, “Alright.”

[heandthemoon]

messr-black‌:

“You better start being nicer to me then,” Sirius sighed, though he gave a cheeky grin to Remus afterwards. “You should listen to them. I imagine you have very sensible, careful friends.” He was pretty sure that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Remus laughed loudly, the idea of being wholly nice to Sirius an endlessly humorous idea. The very basis of their friendship was in sarcasm and harmless taunting. Be nice? He must’ve lost his mind. “You are terrible with nice people. It’s like James around babies. You don’t know what to do so you just act like a massive dick until they’re not nice anymore.”

[heandthemoon]

edgarpuffbones‌:

Edgar knew all about being found by trouble, as he seemed to attract it like the world’s biggest unintended magnet. He never went looking for it, not consciously, but he had a knack for stumbling into it all the same. It was mostly confined to his romantic relationships, as his work life was fairly uneventful, but he had yet to decide if that was a good thing or not. Maybe his bad luck would have been more diluted if it had been spread out across more areas of his life.

Remus’ voice went a little funny, but maybe that was just the drink. How many had they had now? Edgar was losing count. Remus turned to face him, and Edgar looked over to him, but paused with his drink halfway to his lips. Remus’ face was impassive, unreadable. His hands looked like stone, too, where they had a death grip on the chair. His shirt? “What?” Edgar said dumbly, alcohol and the long day slowing his brain. And then he remembered grabbing the nearest thing, picking it up from the floor… from Mary’s floor. But what would Remus’ shirt be doing on Mary’s floor? “Oh. Your shirt. Right.” This was a new level of awkward. Should he say congrats, Mary is really wonderful, both in bed and as a person in general? No, that sounded too patronizing. Mary deserved better than that. She deserved everything. “I’m… guessing you want it back. I’ll wash it and return it to you, not a problem. Or I can just take it off now, if you prefer.” Yeah, this was definitely not the best conversation of his life. He smiled, trying to find the balance between apologetic and humorous, because it was a little humorous. “Let me get you another drink to make up for it.”

Remus watched idly as Edgar put the pieces together in his head. Bloody hell, this was not his place. He could not feel this angry at Edgar and Mary for doing what two single adults are perfectly allowed to do. Uncurling his fingers from the back of the chair and crossing his stiff arms over his chest, Remus kind of felt like running for it. He cleared his throat (again) and said, “No, I- actually, yeah. I want it back.” He didn’t care whether it got washed or not. Out of spite he would take it back, lamenting about how the smell of coconuts were replaced with whatever spicy cologne Edgar had sprayed on to covered up the fact that he didn’t shower before running off to work, or whatever. The telltale morning after scent lingering on his clothes that, Remus noticed after a moment, still had dust stains on the back. Even Mary hadn’t washed it since then. “Yea, fine. I’ll have another.”

Remus took the drink when Alyssa brought it, his eyes focusing on the racks of amber-colored liquor across from them. He was reeling, but there was something settling in the pit of his stomach. As much as he hated it, this was good. Mary deserved more than Remus could offer and if Edgar Bones was the bloke that could, he would live with it for her. He didn’t know what to say, his shoulders sagging forward slightly. He lifted the drink just barely and offered a quiet, “Cheers, I guess.”

[heandthemoon]

thesilentlionalaric‌:

“No.. no.. I just mean it’s good to have in case.” He wrote smiling softly. “I’ve been able to track a few people I’m keeping an eye on at work. I don’t believe there is a spy but if it ever happens I don’t want to think of it..” He wrote “I just thought it would be good to have a back up.” He wrote, there was also word on patronuses possibly being able to speak to convey messages he didn’t know of his own but glad the order may eventually have that capability. Hearing Remus laugh he let out a silent chuckle of his own. “I only ask because they girl has been looking at you smiling..” He wrote the girl behind him a ways looked back at Remus before returning to her friend

Remus nodded his head, understanding. “Yeah, it’s always good to have options.” Either way, the presence of a spy was always a dangerous possibility from either side. At the mention of someone staring at him, Remus looked over his shoulder to check it out. He laughed, waving a hand at the girl Alaric had referred to who turned away bashfully at his blatantly greeting, and turned back to the younger boy. He smirked a little bit and shrugged one of his shoulders, “Oh well.”

[heandthemoon]

marymaxdonald‌:

He didn’t ask her to elaborate, and Mary was thankful. She saw the look in his eyes, an understanding that sated her soul poured out, and her eyes fluttered closed momentarily at his touch. It was so easy to get lost in him, so tempting to let him take it all. Every pain she’d ever felt stood with her, toes dangling over the edge, almost vibrating with want to dive headlong into the depths of one Remus Lupin. He would be able to handle it, Mary knew. Perhaps she didn’t have all of the pieces; maybe most of her confidence in her feelings about the standpoint was emotionally based. It didn’t matter. She knew whatever she said would be safe with him.

Her arms wound about him when he dragged her to him. Every part of her body relaxed, and she drank up the moment without resistance. But the moment didn’t last long. No matter how deep she moved into him, no matter how much she longed to take that leap, Mary knew the chances were slim. Fear slithered up her stomach, thumped heavily along her throat, and burrowed at the base of her brain. He would never tell her about the scars she saw. She could never show him the ones that were on her soul rather than her skin. 

His safety meant more to her than easing the pain on her chest, and though she didn’t know what held him back from baring his own secrets, she knew he had reasons that demanded respect. But would she honor that thought? “I know you hope that if you keep telling me to go away I will eventually get the picture, but I can’t do that.” And the way he clutched at her told her he felt something of the same. “So I’ll compromise. I’ll stop asking you questions if you stop questioning when I come around.” Mary kissed the dip between his collar bone and the base of his neck. “The world sucks, and war sucks, but us?” She laughed against his skin. “We most definitely do not suck.”

Remus felt like he was sucking the sunlight directly out of Mary’s skin. Instead of dimming her of her incredible shine, together they were brighter than they ever could’ve been alone. It baffled him, how deeply he had fallen into her in less than a month when they’d known each other so long already. Perhaps that was part of it, the little things they did know about each other aiding in the discovery. Either way, what had begun as a casual hookup between two people suffering in very different ways quickly became something more. Had he known his addiction would bloom to life from the moment he tasted her on his lips, would he have done it any differently? Probably not. Addiction lies just beneath the surface of ones emotions and if he had been self-aware enough, he would’ve known not to go down that road for the chaos it would cause.

Having Mary MacDonald in his arms was something beautiful, magical even. He wondered if he’d ever stop chasing the high she supplied him. Naturally only time would tell, but in that moment Remus couldn’t imagine ever wanting or needing anything else. She was a cocaine flame in his bloodstream, burning him up, keeping him awake. He felt it tingle from the back of his eyeballs to the tips of his toes, a liveliness so profound he could die in that very moment and have done so happily.

Remus wanted to tell her, but the fear of losing this simple and intoxicating happiness kept him at bay. For a moment, he would allow himself to be selfish. She knew he had secrets and accepted that she couldn’t know them. In a way, he convinced himself she almost knew what she was getting into. Remus ran his fingers through her hair, tilting her head back as he did so. He placed a tender kiss to the corner of her mouth and the nerve endings all through his body seared him. “Okay,” he said softly, moved his head to place equally sweet, slow kisses to her cheek, temple, forehead. He took his time, relishing the unhurried movements of something who had given into his habits. He pulled back after a while to look into her eyes, his hand cupping the base of her head. His other arm was still wound tightly around her middle. “I won’t question it. But I also won’t hold it against you if you change your mind, just so you know.”

[heandthemoon]

marymaxdonald‌:

The severity of his voice was condemning; it painted her skin in chills and drew forth a sense of accountability over her actions. In her attempt to assuage the sting of baring her soul to him with no actual response, she unwittingly dismissed whatever feelings he did have for her. In hindsight, she knew her intentions had not been malicious, that her moment of weakness had stemmed from the anguish she felt at his silent rejection of the way she felt, but that hardly mattered now. All she saw was the selfish way she disregarded his feelings, acted as if they did not exist when she knew damn well they did. 

Her head angled back to the ceiling and away from his words, for she needed to focus on something that would hold her attention long enough to remember how to breathe. The air kept hitching in her throat, so she held it, willing it away until she felt the searing emotions spill over the corners of her eyes. Half a minute passed before she spoke, her scratchy voice betraying her instantly. “You don’t understand.” But why would he? In his eyes, she was the girl who told him she was falling for him on Friday then fucking her best friend on a Monday. In his eyes, she was exactly the person she spent nights trying in vain to convince herself she was not, but Mary couldn’t let that happen. 

Rolling to her side, she lifted her hand. Slowly, hesitantly, she touched his cheek, one finger drawing a line to the crook of his jaw, and though the tears still fell slowly from her eyes, she gave a deep breath and with it came an involuntary twitch of her lips. Mary wanted to tell him how she felt again, assure him that her demons caused this, not his, but she knew it would fall on deaf ears. Instead, she let her head fall onto his pillow while her fingers played idly with the thumping vein in his neck. “He’s been my distraction for the last year, Remus. I needed him, I needed that release so that I didn’t lose myself when I remembered-” she bit her lip, roughly cutting herself off for this wasn’t about that. “But then I met you. I met you and you kissed me and now nothing helps but this, being here with you. I know that’s hard to believe right now.” She didn’t blame him for that. “I just wish you would believe me when I tell you that the most important thing that happened that night was me realizing this is the only place I belong anymore.”

Remus almost caved at the way Mary’s breathing hiccuped in her throat. He wanted to reach out and calm the tsunami of emotions threatening to drown her. Logically, he knew he would only make it worse in the long run if he held her now. It was better to rip the band-aid off in one fell motion so the pain would recede faster. She was right. He didn’t understand. He had always admired Mary from afar for her resilience, her kindness. She seemed to always bounce back with very little effort and a ton of grace. Now that he knew her more personally, he would admit that she was almost as excellent at pretending as he was if she had time to process the emotions being presented to her first.

When Mary rolled onto her side, Remus couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t a grand gesture, but he reached over and trapped a tear on her cheek with the tip of his fingers. He wanted to ask her what she remembered that she couldn’t say, but to do so would violate his own boundaries. It wasn’t fair of him to ask her questions knowing he would never answer hers. She began to speak again and he was hit with an overwhelming urge to cover her mouth with the palm of his hand. Her words were like sugar-soaked knives. They cut him deeply, the added sweetest only causing more of a sting, a visible residue.

“Please,” he pleaded, closing his eyes again. The direction of his plea was unknown to him, unsure whether he was asking himself not to do anything rash or begging her not to fall harder than she already had. When he opened his eyes again, the rising sun had been covered by clouds and there were streaks of rain coming down the window. They reflected onto her pale skin, dotting her with shadows. She didn’t say anything else, but something in his shattered. His resolve broke and his arms came around her waist, dragging her body across the mattress to him. Remus’ face was pained, chin placed on top of her head. But his heart seemed to resume beating, as if the closeness of Mary was all it had ever craved.

[heandthemoon]

lionheartxd-lily‌:

“Oh. Lily. Yeah, I’ve got it now,” she smiled, cheeks flushing pink at her fumble. She did love the smell of fresh flowers and would love more dotted around the safe house but Lily didn’t think it was an appropriate location to put her own stamp on it.

Remus rolled his eyes, a smile quirking the corners of his mouth. “Anyway,” he began, pulling open the door to the house for her. “We’re here. Now what?”

[heandthemoon]

marymaxdonald‌:

Ignorance was a funny thing. Mary, still operating on the basis of their last encounter, flinched inwardly at his scolding for she assumed her presumed daft behavior irritated him because of her inability to listen and heed any well-intended advice. He turned away from her, dismissing her in reality rather than the paranoia of her mind, and she had to admit the reality was much worse than her imagination. The cracks in the molding of the ceiling held her eyes in the silence that was only interrupted by the sound of their breathing, his deep and peaceful, hers shallow and telling, and unlike the saying that promised her bliss, all she felt was emptiness until he deposited something on her abdomen.

When her hand touched the material, she knew without the need of light what it was. Confusion overtook her senses for a moment. Her emotions clouded the logic, made it slow for the gears to get moving, but her face appropriately melded to horror when the pieces slipped into place. Breathlessly, quietly, she asked, “Where did you get this?” But Edgar’s face was already in her mind before the words tumbled out. Her eyes stayed on her hands, her courage no match for the shame that welled up in her chest. Mary could feel his eyes on her, his anger rolling off him in waves, and for once his proximity made her want to cower rather than move into him.

She opened her mouth to explain, to cut him off before he made assumptions about anything, but the memory of the first time she slept with Edgar cut through her senses like a whip. Mary had been home for two weeks, wasn’t eating, couldn’t dream of sleep, and the bruises hadn’t yet healed from her body. She felt no inclination to join the world again, saw no reason to ever leave her home, and then he’d shown up in a flourish of drunken humor and promised to feed her if she would just let him in. So she did. Mary let him into a place he wouldn’t, and still didn’t, know existed. Her trust in him allowed her to cherish his touch, she buried all of her pain in sex that meant nothing except laughter that kept her head afloat, and for a while bandage that he provided gave her all she needed to survive. How could she now explain it didn’t anymore? How could she explain without telling him everything? Her eyes found his, pleading and guilty, the shirt clutched tightly in her hands. She had to try. “It’s not what you think,” she said, her voice small. “He was just… there for me when I couldn’t even show up for myself, and after the night at the pub, after what I said-” She cut herself off, swallowing hard. “He’s not you, Remus. I wouldn’t be here if it was like that.”

“You know where I got it,” he told her. Remus’ voice was quiet, a touch dark. Not in a dangerous sense, but the severity of the situation was noted. He was hurt. The moment when he’d realized who Edgar had been talking about, it was like the life had been sucked right out of his heart. Remus had never been known as possessive, but the desired to clock the bloke in the jaw had been so powerful, his fingers curled into fists at their own volition. He felt like something had been stolen from him, even though reality would have it that he owned very little in any sense - Mary included.

He hated how dejected he was by it, knowing full good and well that he had no right. And the realization - though he had always known it - deflated him from the inside out. As Remus exhaled, he flattened out on his mattress and laid his head down on his pillow. He was watching Mary closely, the side of her face in shadow from the window on the other side of her. He couldn’t read her expression, but her movements were slow as her fingers closed around the shirt. When she turned her head to look at him, he had to close his eyes on the look she was giving him.

It was interesting, how a persons’ emotions could fill up a whole room. He could practically hear the frantic beat of her heart, infinitely faster than the quick, shallow breaths she was taking. She was panicking. He’s not you, Remus. He couldn’t say it aloud, but the wet wick inside his chest came to life again with the words that left her pleading voice. Who knew he was so conceded? Proverbially, he licked his finger and stamped the candle out again. “It should be like that.” He swallowed, an audible sound around a thick lump in his throat. “You should be with him.”

[heandthemoon]

marymaxdonald‌:

A smugness tugged at her heart when his arm tightened around her. One hand made long, slow strokes along the taut muscles of his back, and her eyes fluttered closed. The tumultuous waves of uncertainty that had been raging since she last saw him calmed, glassy assurance taking its place under the weight of his arm. Mary smiled into his skin, moving closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist to warm him up. Or, she was getting to warming him up when something changed. As if the lips she placed to his collarbone were charged with electricity, Remus’ body stiffened against her, and when his head came off the pillow, his face morphed into the one she’d feared and her instincts moved her away just in case.

Her brow furrowed, arms came to wrap around her middle, as if his words were strikes and she feared more may come. “I couldn’t sleep.” Mary felt as if someone had pulled the rug beneath her. She had allowed herself to assume he would be alright with her inviting herself over, into his bed, as if he hadn’t shown her multiple times that this scenario would only play out on his terms. Fuck, there was a very real war waging right outside their walls, and what was she doing? Breaking into his personal space for selfish reasons that had more to do with the cracks in her psyche than the secrets in his closet and expecting him to be happy with it. 

But she didn’t try to stand immediately, for hope was a fire not easily stamped out. No matter if he was looking at her like the parasite she now felt, being close to him was rewarding enough to make her wait it out. Mary had painstakingly pulled away from every part of his body so now they lay parallel to one another in the bed, but she could still feel the warmth his body was putting off. That alone was enough to make her mind drunk, drunk enough to not heed personal space. She rolled to her back, clamping her eyes closed for a moment before shaking her head. “I know, I know, this is… illegal, for one thing.” Not to mention certifiably insane, but that, she was almost certain, was mostly his fault these days. “Invasive for two.” Her head turned back to look at him, and though she resisted the urge to run her thumb along his bottom lip, she couldn’t stop the soft expression that lingered on her face. “But I missed you.”

The way Mary curled away from him made Remus’ heart ache inside his chest. His stomach twisted in on itself the way it had when he’d first seen Edgar wearing his shirt. He could breath though, because he wasn’t going to cave this time. As if to prove to himself he could, Remus took a deep breath and dropped his head onto his arm. “You couldn’t sleep.” He understood that they had been using each other for nearly a month of back and forth, but he never would’ve expected this from her. In the way Edgar spoke so fondly of her, how could she jump with no regard for either of them?

Mary didn’t necessarily have to have regard for Remus. He had told her plenty of times what he had to offer, so she wasn’t stepping out on him in any form. And either way, he would ignore the fact that it felt like it simply because of how strongly he felt for her. “Mary, don’t be daft.” He told her, sliding both his arms under his pillow and stretching out on his stomach. He turned his head to face away from her on his pillow. There was no way Remus would be able to get back to sleep, but he could at least pretend to give her an easy out. So he laid there for a moment, breathing deeply. She didn’t seem to be moving, however, and he feared her presence like he fear the full moon.

When she spoke again, he turned his head to look at her with a furrowed brow. Even in her discomfort, she was endearing. What struck him was how cavalier she seemed to be about the whole thing. She missed him. Merlin, did he miss her, but that wasn’t really his place to say, was it? And what about Edgar? He could believe they weren’t actually dating but the man was like a male version of Mary and that wasn’t remiss on Remus. His hands grasped for something shoved between the edge of his mattress and pulled until it came lose. Out from under his pillow came the shirt she’d taken from him and Edgar had taken from her. The cycle brought it swirling viciously back into his grasp, though unfortunately he wanted nothing to do with it now. He propped himself up on his elbow, facing her, and sat the worn thing on her stomach. Eyebrow raised, eyes still half-clouded with sleep, “You missed me? How much?”

[heandthemoon]

marymaxdonald‌:

@heandthemoon​

She thought once she was home that her obsession with time would cease. Captivity bred an insatiable need to count every day, every minute that passed, and because when there was nothing Mary could control, she found peace in staying aware. Knowing how much time passed helped, but that was then. Now she kept tabs on her watch like a woman possessed, time since she last felt she could breathe, time since she last slept, time since she last saw him. Five days had passed. In five days she had managed to muddle her life up even more, and she was wanton to attribute it to how easily Remus seemed to stay away.

Perhaps that’s why she went. One minute she was sitting on the balcony of her room and enjoying a cigarette she nicked from a coworker, the next she was slipping into a dark bedroom with bare feet and a palpitating heart.  There had been no hesitation, no inward struggle once the idea entered her mind. Mary was tired of waking up without him, tired of renovating, tired of waiting. But now, as she stood in his bedroom, uninvited and possibly unwanted, the pause caught up to her. The sudden pang of realization, of remembering their last conversation nearly caused her to flee, but then she spotted him.

The sun was beginning to bathe the world in a muted pink, and as her eyes adjusted, she was thankful for the rosy glow that held her still. Laying on his side, Remus had one arm thrown over the side of the bed. Mary ran two fingers over the curve of his shoulder, down his forearm, and when she reached the curve of his wrist, she gently grasped and pulled upward so that she could slide into the bed next to him. Her head slid easily into the crook of his neck, and all Mary could do was breathe. Drawing in heavily, Mary drank him up, and when he still didn’t stir, she began placing soft kisses to the side of his neck.

Remus was killing himself in training. The lull in action for the Order was never in his plan when he quit his job at the bar. His time was almost completely taken up with back to back missions in that day and it seemed the right thing to do. Of course, fast forward a couple years and several thousand codings later, and here he was. Bored out of his mind and full of a very direct anger he had nothing to do with (and no one to blame). The night he left the pub after quite the disastrous conversation with Edgar Bones, he’d rigged a dirty white sandbag to the rafters in the attic and beat at it until his knuckles were cracked and bleeding. Every day thereafter, he got a little bit less heated about the whole thing but the exhaustion at the end of every day was a welcome release. He hadn’t been to the pub in a minute for it. Fresh out of a shower with his eyes already half closed, he’d crashed into bed every night and sleep soundly until the sun woke him the next morning.

Remus wasn’t thick. He knew right from wrong and how terribly defunct it was of him to sling Mary around like a bouee in the ocean. She wasn’t an innocent party, however. She certainly egged him on when she recognized she could get what she wanted. She was artful about it, seeming to only show up when his resolve was at its’ weakest - in the middle of the night, and at the bottom of a bottle of tequila. At least, that’s what he thought. And yet, when he was awoken by the sweetest kisses being placed along the side of his neck, his arm that had somehow made its’ way around her tightened.

He knew it was Mary. Remus was familiar with the smell of coconut that seemed to permeate from her very pores. It was the essence of her, sometimes paired with the faint smell of cigarette smoke, having been stained into his senses (and his sheets) for weeks. For a moment, he didn’t registered anything other than the cool closeness of her body. “Cold,” he murmured, consciousness just barely reaching him. He couldn’t begin to guess what time it was and his mind was void of all the things he’d been feeling for days. The universe pushed and pulled as much as he did, however, as it came crashing down around him with the last remnant of the dreams he’d been having. He stiffened and lifted his head off the pillow, scowling at her through one squinted eye. His voice was thick and gravelly with sleep when he said, “The fuck are you doing?”

[heandthemoon]

jamescharluspotterx‌:

“You don’t get to go out?” James scoffed, and he grabbed his friend’s scarf off of the hook nearest the door and tossed them in his general direction. “I’m wanted just like you are, and you don’t see me holing myself up and waiting for the worst to happen.” Plastering a bright grin onto his face, the man pulled the door open fully once more, gesturing for Remus to walk out. “Nope, not a bloody chance. Get moving.”

Remus scowled at James, annoyed at the assumption that Remus’ being caught out in public would have the same result as James. The handsome, charming pureblood versus the broke werewolf with a penchant for other werewolves’ heads, yes. Same things. “I’m not waiting, I’m planning.” He caught the scarf James threw at him and threw it on his bed. He didn’t want it. Rolling his eyes at the ridiculousness that was his mate, he stepped out of the door and into the street beyond the house. “You drive me to drink, Prongs. It’s a good thing that’s what we’re planning on doing, otherwise I’d have to kill you just to put myself out of my misery.”

[heandthemoon]

lionheartxd-lily‌:

“A flower shop?” she echoed, looking at him a little puzzled as their pace slowed as they neared the safe house. “What made you jump to a flower shop?” The children part she could understand; Lily cared for her friends and mothered them within an inch of their lives. She wondered if, one day, she’d be able to settle down and start a family of her own and live a happy life. Right now, it wasn’t particularly the best time bring children into the world.

“Jump? How is it a jump, Lily?” Remus laughed at his own obvious play on her name in relation to her future job as a botanist. “Look, I’m just saying it’d fit you. You look good surrounded by colorful flowers.”

[heandthemoon]

thesilentlionalaric‌:

“Smiling he nodded before looking over his papers “Some things for our meetings” he wrote close to Remus referring of course to the order, “and this one case at work I think if I can find the trail this person is on it could be useful too.” He wrote smiling softly his eyes however had a serious tired look, though he was happy to be talking with Remus they didn’t get to much growing up but being in the order with him they naturally were often he very much enjoyed and appreciated his company and him, he was smart and kind and a talented wizard. it was funny most would think given that they were in the same house they would have seen each other often though Alaric himself was hardly in the common room and when he started dating gideon even less after that, or he was in the library. “A back place in case.. and perhaps another way of contacting sending quick messages..” He wrote letting out a silent chuckle as he rubbed his eyes he looked at his scribbled words from earlier that day he must have been tired his penship was usually neater. He couldn’t shut his mind off a natural investigator even when he wasn’t at work he was observing and thinking even at night which he wished would sometimes just off as of late. It didn’t go past him that some naturally would speak right near him and not notice and he could observe and use anything he gathered to his advantage the same with fighting others didn’t think they had to do much because he couldn’t speak to win but his combat experience he always used as a surprise though he hoped every night he wouldn’t have too he was ready just like home. “Has any other familiar came by or have you just been here by yourself?” He wrote.

Remus read the words Alaric wrote with a scowl. “Why, you think there’s a rat or something?” The use of the word rat made him think of Peter and he smiled fondly to himself. He changed tactic quickly, “A spy, I should say. Is there someone roaming around our stomping grounds with bad intent?” It was a fearsome notion, the discovery of a snake, but Remus wasn’t blinded to the idea of it. Though they all wished it wouldn’t happen, it was an unavoidable outcome in a lot of ways. The abrupt change in conversation threw him and he laughed. “People have come and gone, but I’m by myself at the moment.”